Alrightgames: Fluxx

Fluxx

1997 (2008 version) / Card game / 2-4 players

***

I was introduced to this chaotic card game in a hostel on my first travel stop in 2010, while appropriately pissed, and found its unstable "rules" and lolR@Nd0mness hilarious in my debilitated state. It'll never be that enjoyable again, but it seemed like a good call for playing with a child who enjoys the similarly swinging futility of Monopoly's Buy Everything expansion when it was going cheap on eBay.

The Action cards are a bit wordy for a six year old who refuses adult assistance, but that doesn't stop her from generally winning after a few turns anyway by randomly matching the goal. It's not exactly the madcap party I remembered. Maybe we need to get pissed?

Alrightgames: Boss Monster – Tools of Hero Kind

Boss Monster: Tools of Hero Kind

2013 / Card game expansion / 2-4 players

***

This themed add-on rounds out the cardboard video game and makes it more interesting, challenging and amusing by giving the NPC Heroes familiar power-ups that translate well. It makes me root for those plucky little guys, even as I orchestrate their gruesome demises. It's just a shame they insisted on the quirky Game Boy packaging that's more than twice as large as it needs to be to store some cards you're going to mix into your other box anyway.

Alrightgames: Unfold – Through the Wall

Unfold: Through the Wall

2023 / Puzzle game demo / 1-5 players

*

Donated

I said I wouldn't buy any more cheap and nasty games based on price alone, but this envelope game combined a quirky gimmick with a minimalist footprint, so I figured it wouldn't do any harm to add it to the box of miscellaneous curiosities.

I was wrong. Of the three puzzles in this sub-Usborne adventure, one is a basic spatial puzzle and the others require telepathy or a lucky guess. This has no value.

Alrightgames: Star Realms – Frontiers Solo Challenges

Star Realms: Frontiers Solo Challenges

As a fan of solo games, it's strange that I've generally overlooked the solo mode of one of my long-time favourites. That's probably because playing proper Star Realms against myself is satisfying enough, and the ones I've tried didn't feel as satisfying as proper Star Realms, but maybe there's a more rewarding challenge lurking somewhere out there. And it's an excuse to play lots of Star Realms, even if it's not proper Star Realms.

Junior Gamesmaster: Missing Earth Ponies / Rescue Run / Crocodile Wedding

My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria – Missing Earth Ponies / Rescue Run / Crocodile Wedding

DIY roleplaying game adventures

Inspired by the one YouTube RPG playthrough we've ever collectively sat through to create her own stories from scratch, the six year old GM took our latest ponies out for another spin before making us prematurely replace them with more generically capable elemental superheroes and guiding us through encounters with monsters, creepy witches and friendly crocodiles, invariably culminating in feasts.

I've lost control forever now. I wonder whether she'll move us onto D&D or something more hardcore next? I hope she can help me understand the rules.

Babyliography CCXL

Clare Helen Welsh and Ángeles Peinador, Collins Big Cat Phonics for Letters and Sounds: Recycle It

2022 / School book / 24 pages

**

The class' elected Eco Warrior learned how it undramatically works.

Samantha Montgomerie and Pedro Riquelme, Collins Big Cat Phonics for Letters and Sounds: Mighty Mud Race

2022 / School book / 24 pages

*

Would my life be richer if someone had documented every individual Oxford Reading Tree and Ginn 360 book I went through? I don't imagine so, and yet still I do this for us.

Zanna Davidson and Nuno Alexandre Vieira, Fairy Unicorns: Islands in the Sky

2022 / Hardback / 112 pages

**

The grand finale of the series (probably). She thought she'd spoiled the ending by looking ahead to the pictures, but she doesn't know all the conventions yet.

Catherine Baker, Collins Big Cat Phonics for Letters and Sounds: Welcome to My Home

2020 / School book / 24 pages

**

Some of the things some kids get up to in some countries, when they're not being terrible brats (presumably).

Scott Campbell, Cabin Head and Tree Head

2025 / Library book / 88 pages

**

Kinda weird, though not intriguing enough for us to carry on beyond the first skit.

Babyliography CCXXXIX

Steve Smallman and Ada Grey, Poo in the Zoo: Merry Poopmas!

2023 / Paperback / 32 pages

*

Scatological zoological magical festive special.

Trevor Barnes, World Faiths: Hinduism and Other Eastern Religions

2013 / Library book / 40 pages

**

The young theologian wanted to learn more about Hindus, Buddhists and... miscellaneous.

Erika Kari, Vampire Doll: Guilt-na-Zan, Volume 3

2007 / Library book / 200 pages

**

The earliest volume the library had in the manga the young reader insisted on prematurely borrowing was predictably confusing but not too extreme.

Suzy Senior and Monika Róża Wiśniewska, Collins Big Cat Phonics for Letters and Sounds: Show Time!

2021 / School book / 24 pages

**

One of the more relatable alliterative microdramas.

Anna Claybourne, 100 Most Unexplained Mysteries on the Planet & Don't Read This Book Before Bed

2017 /  Library books / 256 pages

***

I'd give these a higher score for being right up my street if only they weren't so bogged down by all the old hoaxes. One of the books at least acknowledges the fakery while still giving it centre stage.

Aimee songs again

New York

New York, oooh, ho yeah

I love New York, it's such a nice place

It's so cool, yeah, I know

It's the best place ever

You know I'm at the back

Oh no, am going to the front

Chorus:

I love New York, it's the best place ever

It makes me feel so good, oh yeah

New New New New York

Oh, New New New York

New York, I would love to go there

I know it sounds crazy, but you got to understand things

So what

You know I'm at the back

Oh no, am going to the front

I love New York, it's the best place ever

It makes me feel so good, oh yeah

New New New New York

Oh, New New New York

I like New York, no matter what

So try to make it the best place ever

So maybe I'll change back

I love New York, it's the best place ever

It makes me feel so good, oh yeah

New New New New York

Oh, New New New York

Aaaaa

I love New York, it's the best place ever

It makes me feel so good, oh yeah

New New New New York

Oh, New New New York

New York

The Silliest Song Ever

Oo oo ooooooo oo

Ee ee eeeeeee

Foo foo foooooo

Doo doo doo?

This is the silliest song ever

No, Shaun, stop pecking me!

I'm so sorry about that, I just -

Shaun! I said stop! Shaun!

[Sigh]. So sorry about that.

This is the craziest song ever...

Oh, I need the toilet. Wait a sec.

[Flush]

Sorry. Let me go back to that.

This is the silliest song ever...

Oh, I'm itchy. Sorry about that.

This is the craziest song ever...

[Ring ring]

Yes? No.

This is the craziest song ever...

[Cough]

This is the craziest song ever...

Atchoo!

This is the craziest song ever...

Oh, um... yeah, just... go do it, then.

This is the craziest song ever...

Can you just wait, Marjorie?

This is the craziest song ever...

Marjorie!

This is the craziest song ever...

Poo poo! Stop! Go over there. That's why I called you that name, because you always poo in your pants.

This is the craziest song ever...

And that's why I'm saying:

Wee.

Alrightreads: Pan-demonium

Various, The Sixth Pan Book of Horror Stories

1931-65 (collected 1965) / Audiobook / 222 pages

***

I was expecting mouldy macabre tales, so the gorier and generally distressing ones caught me by surprise. I wouldn't have got through the dreary longer ones if they weren't being passively read to me on YouTube.

Faves: 'The Unforgiven,' 'No Flies on Frank,' 'My Little Man'

Various, The Seventh Pan Book of Horror Stories

1902-66 (collected 1966) / Audiobook / 239 pages

***

Mixes some then-vintage chillers with contemporary gross-outs and humdrum encounters with unknowable entities.

Faves: 'The Monkey's Paw,' 'The Last Experiment,' 'The Island of Regrets'

Various, The Eighth Pan Book of Horror Stories

1945-67 (collected 1967) / Audiobook / 236 pages

***

Notably shorter and snappier, often literally. I've stopped paying as much attention, to be honest, except when there's a jarring historical or disturbed child.

Faves: 'Playtime,' 'The Bean-nighe,' 'The Brindle Bull Terrier'

Various, The Ninth Pan Book of Horror Stories

1947-68 (collected 1968) / Audiobook / 252 pages

****

More surprisingly vicious and graphic yarns from before they were allowed to show that shit in films.

Faves: 'The Fly,' 'Thou Shalt Not Suffer a Witch,' 'Old Feet'

Various, The Tenth Pan Book of Horror Stories

1958-69 (collected 1969) / Audiobook / 236 pages

**

A distinctly pervier and sexist batch at the end of the decade, maybe they'd worn out the good writers by now.

Faves: 'The Necklace,' 'The Fat Thing,' 'Magical Mystery Trip'

Alrightgames: Sushi Go Party!

Sushi Go Party!

2016 / Card game / 2-8 players

*****

A premature impulse purchase when the six year old went briefly crazy for the original game for about a day over Christmas, it went straight into indefinite storage until such time as she got re-obsessed and demanded more sushi or when we just needed something new to do, which turned to be the next half term break.

The equivalent of an unlocked game-of-the-year edition of the card game, this bigger box replaces the original in every way except portability, which wasn't enough to keep it from being eBayed. The new dishes are quick to learn and varied enough to reignite her interest for a while, at least. I mean, it's no Sailor Moon Monopoly or Monster High: Share or Scare.

Alrightgames: Some Gloom of Kilforth expansions

Some Gloom of Kilforth expansions

As a Kickstarter project, all manner of extravagant and unnecessary extras are available for the photogenic RPG, now at more affordable prices since their formerly devoted backers largely moved on and I can scavenge the scraps. I don't really need to upgrade from cardboard standees to miniatures, or to buy alternate art packs where they show slightly more cleavage (which actually exist), but a bit of variety's always nice.

Promo Pack 2 **

This puny pack isn't worth more than the couple of pounds I bid for it. Encounters with boom sticks and aliens are a bit out of place, and the alternate art card's pointless, but the versatile vagabond's helpful at least, and friendlier than the one in Stew. I later found a more worthwhile use for these when mocking up one of the sequel games on the cheap (work in progress).

Gloom of the North Fan Expansions *****

Finding some mysteriously home-printed Sagas in my second-hand game box, I tracked them to a fan site and discovered other passionately and clinically crafted free resources that I've already started mixing in to give the game legs. It's enough to inspire you to come up with your own, if you're the sort of person who can be bothered with that sort of thing.

Bitter Nights ***

Another fan variant for those repetitive Night cards that simplifies it to two lists and dice rolls. Using numbered cards from The Game makes it even simpler, even if they clash with the atmosphere somewhat.

Alrightgames: Gloom of Kilforth

Gloom of Kilforth: A Fantasy Quest Game

2017 / Roleplaying card/board game / 1-4 players

****

Another chapter in the saga to find my solo RPG comfort zone, from restrictive gamebooks and tedious journalling to impenetrable ordeal Machina Arcana, this repetitive activity of hopping around a scenic grid collecting keywords is more Advanced Forbidden Island than Morrowind, giving players the freedom to weave disparate prompts and random encounters into a coherent narrative or not bother as they see fit, and I always come away feeling like I've had an immersive experience. It's mainly noteworthy for its stunning art that helps with that immersion, even if much of the cast seems to have wandered in from a porn parody.

Alrightgames: Eiyo expansions

The Matchbox Collection: Eiyo expansions

If the samurai survival simulator somehow wasn't challenging enough already, here's some more flagellation.

Path of the Warrior ***

This is included in the main rulebook, but it's in the same spirit. I like to add these pests in so I have someone to blame when I clearly almost win.

Fukushuu **

Another boss of medium scariness added to the random draw options, this could have been worse, so I don't have to yell his name as a curse.

Adversity *

A super hard mode that's just taking the piss, I'm not going to bother.

Alrightgames: Eiyo

The Matchbox Collection: Eiyo

2020 / Card game / 1-2 players

****

How do you encapsulate the struggle of a lone samurai fending off an enemy horde in card game form? By making it overwhelmingly hard, that's how! The theme comes through nicely with the directional attacks and metal shield tokens (it's not humanly possible to play this without vocalising sound effects), which was encouragement to keep honing my skills to the point where I can almost succeed, when luck's on my side and I don't include the sadistic mini expansions. I won't use the little samurai figures for the two-player mode, but they've found honourable employment in Carcassonne.

Alrightgames: Sprawlopolis expansions

Sprawlopolis expansions

Sprawlopolis is a delicately-balanced game in just 18 cards, so naturally they had to release a bunch of expansions to ruin that. I don't love all of them, but it's nice to have the variety. Combining them all into a 32-card metropolis somehow maintains the balance (meaning I still narrowly lose on average), but unusually for me, I prefer to play with the basic cards most of the time. Being small and fast is sort of the point.

Wrecktar **

The first one I tried out, because silly. Its devastation is relative to how early or late it emerges from the deck, but having the fire-breathing colossus rampaging through your commercial districts is generally less trouble than it should be.

Points of Interest **

Mildly handy as half of an extra starting card and potential bonuses at the end, but in practice it tends to get buried and forgotten about.

Construction Zones ***

Describing itself as an "irritation" wasn't the best first impression, but they aren't too hard to deal with, and it's a nice dynamic element to bring you back to the theme if you've started seeing abstract colours and lines.

Beaches ****

Hard edges that punish and reward in the customary delicate balance while also just looking nice, this is easily my favourite of the expansions. They could have taken it further and made some kind of Seafarers of Sprawlopolis.

Interstate ***

Mainly designed to make the turn-taking puzzle a more viable two-player activity, the solo mode of taking turns on alternating sides also makes for an interesting change-up, though I don't use it very often, preferring not to hasten the inevitable mental breakdown.

48 Alternate Sprawlopolis Scoring Conditions (Fan Variant) *****

The permutations may be vast, but the 18 standard scoring conditions get familiar before long. BoardGameGeek user parchmentEngineer devised additional tasks, including putting the Points of Interest to use. Handy, clever and free, what's not to like?

Alrightgames: Sprawlopolis

Sprawlopolis

2018 / Card game / 1-4 players

*****

Ever since an X-Files knock-off of Circle the Wagons introduced me to the microscopic realm of Button Shy wallet games, I'd been particularly intrigued by this erratic urban planning puzzle, and I finally saw it for a bargain price (along with the expansions and sequel), so I didn't have to settle for a buggered-up print and play. The hype I'd built up for this 18-card microtropolis was deserved, as randomised goals and ongoing obligations merge and clash to create an ever-changing solo challenge that I even win occasionally. It may be less enchanting than solo classic Onirim, but it's a lot less hassle.

Alrightgames: 7 Wonders Duel – Pantheon

7 Wonders Duel: Pantheon

2016 / Card drafting game expansion / 2 players

****

Adding gods to an already convoluted game makes things more complicated, as in life. While the base game didn't need any fixing, this expansion adds variety, atmosphere and more interpersonal drama that at the very least makes it a worthy variant. I miss the guild cards, but the temples add tension in the final stretch, and adding extra wonders and tokens to the mix probably tips it into essential. Besides, the board would look naked now without the add-on. Hey, what are all those notches on the other side for...?

Alrightgames: Monopoly Expansion – Free Parking Jackpot

Monopoly Expansion: Free Parking Jackpot

2025 / Board game expansion pack / 2-6 players

**

Another one of these, but only after the young Monopoly fan agreed I could try to sell one of her outgrown Junior versions (it went to a charity shop in the end) and one of her disappointing Christmas games as an exchange. It's not as fun or crazy as Buy Everything, being closer to the normal game with loads of freebies and blowout jackpots to swing things (with more end conditions imposed), but you can combine the two to drive out even further from the centre and any sense of monetary value. Technically, you can't combine them, but you can.

Alrightgames: Carcassonne – The Flier

Carcassonne: The Flier

2012 / Tile placement board game mini expansion / 2-6 players

****

The most fun looking and borderline essential of the old mini expansions has always flown a bit higher in price than I could reasonably pay for 9 bits of cardboard and a dice, but after a satisfying auction win, it's finally landed in my overloaded Big Box, complete with its own diddy box. The only failing is it doesn't come with its own spring-loaded launchpad, so you have to do the action and noises yourself.

Alrightgames: Lex Go! – Jungle Animals

Lex Go!: Jungle Animals

2021 / Spelling card game / 2-4 players

**

She recently wanted a marathon of all her ex-Happy Meal animal card games (took about 10 minutes), so I checked which others were going for a sub-postage price on eBay to add to the multicoloured collection.

There might be some educational benefit in this minimalist spelling game, but there weren't any Jungle Animals to be seen, outside of that panda on the card backs. Weak and totally irrelevant, but still not as bad as  Dos.

Alrightgames: Atmosfear IV – Countess Elizabeth Bathory, Vampire

Atmosfear IV: Countess Elizabeth Bathory, Vampire

1993 / Video board game expansion / 3-6 players

***

Growing up with The Harbingers, I hadn't considered bothering with the original, presumably inferior Atmosfear, until I found scans of all the cards from the expansions on BoardGameGeek and realised that – with printing and YouTube VHS rips – a cheap base game was all we needed to open a whole world of Nightmares (up to 4 hours, anyway. Not that we ever get very far into the tapes).

My daughter wanted to play the vampire one first, which was as punishing as its reputation suggested. By seven minutes in, she'd already been randomly gifted all of her keys while I moped in a black hole and was headed for the finish line when she rolled an unfortunate 1 and was banished from the board to join the legion of the damned. We were then reminded why you need more than two players as further random punishments made what was supposed to be the exciting pursuit of my flesh and soul drag on until we switched off out of boredom. She was getting a bit creeped out by the Countess' transformation anyway.

Suffer!

Alrightgames: Pocket Mars

Pocket Mars

2017 / Worker placement card game / 1-4 players

***

I'd been intrigued by this budget colonisation simulator for a while, but lukewarm reviews put my space program on hold until I saw an irresistible price and could get my ass to Mars. Ultimately, it is just about moving coloured cubes between cards, but I think it's a neat little game. The solo mode feels justified as the feature attraction rather than an afterthought, and you can increase the difficulty when you quickly work it out.

Alrightgames: Boss Monster

Boss Monster

2013 / Card game / 2-4 players

****

I don't need card games to look like they're video games to get me to play them, and was sceptical that this wouldn't have much more than nostalgia bait going for it when trying out a cheap eBay listing. But it hits that sweet spot of lightweight games that involve a bit of tactical thinking, but are so dependent on the luck of the draw that things are mostly out of my hands (see also: Star Realms), so I can just relax and enjoy it. More than I'd enjoy playing a lightweight video game nowadays, plus I'll still be able to play this after the great EMP destroys all computers to save us from the AI revolution, so it's got that going for it.

Alrightgames: 7 Wonders Duel – Solo

7 Wonders Duel: Solo

2020 / Card drafting game variant rules / 1 player

***

For want of similarly aged and boring opponents, I'm happy enough fighting a Me1 vs Me2 Duel and trying our best to wreck each other's civilisations, but the lockdown solo rules are a slightly streamlined alternative.

The automated leaders' privilege means they get to take most of the red and green cards for free, making military and science victories a lot more likely than when I'm scuppering my own plans, which at least means less points admin. When I do manage to make it to points, it's not pretty. The whole thing feels unbalanced and unfair, which is appropriate to the theme, but I generally prefer playing with myself.

Junior Gamesmaster: Tails of Equestria – Finding a Kid

My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria – Finding a Kid

DIY roleplaying game adventure

We hadn't played "story game" in a while, but after giving an impromptu presentation about the game system to her Nana, she naturally wanted to have a go with our latest, untested characters. I had another generic dungeon occult library ready to go, but she preferred to tell her own story and set her own challenges, which turned out somewhat reminiscent of a scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Being preoccupied as Game Master and going easy on herself meant she neglected her character's development, but I squeezed some educational alchemical accidents in to help my guy along, I can't afford to be complacent with her in charge.

Babyliography CCXXXVIII

Dana Simpson, Unicorn Crush: Another Phoebe and Her Unicorn Adventure

Collected 2024 / Paperback / 176 pages

***

Gentle introduction to bestiality.

Richard Jones, An Anthology of Butterflies and Moths: A Collection of Butterflies and Moths from Around the World

2025 / Library book / 128 pages

***

Mainly used as a freaky flip book, no offence to the lepidopterans.

Unknown, Colour Illusions: Visual Tricks, Fantastic Facts, and Impossible Puzzles

2014 / Hardback / 32 pages

***

A shame the 3D glasses and other bits of plastic we're supposed to look through were long gone, but I complained and got a refund, so the rest of the permanent vision damage was free.

Zanna Davidson and Nuno Alexandre Vieira, Fairy Unicorns: Kingdom Under the Sea

2022 / Hardback / 112 pages

***

This inexplicably rare volume finally dropped to a regular price before she grew out of fairy unicorns (as if!). Kicking off the sequel trilogy, it's a refreshing change from the old formula, replacing it with a new formula.

Zoë Clarke and Edu Coll, Collins Big Cat Phonics for Letters and Sounds: The Stone Shadows

2021 / School book / 24 pages

**

More of a boy one, she helpfully explained to me what "peril" and "urgent" meant.