Hello there

20 years on, that's still pretty much all you need to know about me. I don't hate girls as much, but I still don't eat fruit.

I left the United Kingdom in September 2010 with no travel plans, no agenda and no travel insurance, and since then I've been travelling, writing and generally finding ways to fill the hours until my inevitable death. Which won't be long considering the state of my diet, so I'll enjoy this while it lasts. It's been mostly fun.

I'm a freelance writer, which means people pay me to write about fascinating topics like car insurance, concrete and blinds. Writing these travel blogs for no money is a way to keep myself sane, and is demonstrably failing. You probably came here accidentally while looking for sexy teachers - you refined pervert, you! - but if you're interested in any of the other things I've seen in the parts of the world I've visited so far, I've taken photos and stuff. Or you can just leave insane, racist comments on innocuous posts like some people enjoy doing.

My favourite food is biscuits. I used to genuinely love escalators, but then I went on too many. I have a pathological aversion to commitment. Every few months my visa runs out, I'm faced with the decision of where to go next and I have a public panic attack, so look out for those. My biggest worry is the certainty that I'll one day look back on this part of my life with envious contempt. Screw you, future me, you were an idiot for settling down.

Best thing I've seen?: Probably this.