Some books I've read; my incredible insights thereon; updated when I can be arsed.
M
Read 2022
**
She can make silly stories on her own. Having to deal with another kid's imaginings didn't seem so fun.
***
With an exuberant title like that, I didn't expect it to be so dry. Way to reinforce the (correct) perception of prog being a refuge for stuffy, joyless souls with no sense of humour. It's an interesting analysis if you do happen to be that way inclined, but more something you'd source in the bibliography of your weird essay than something you'd read for pleasure.
Read 2020
***
The juxtaposition of Swinging London and gangster slags didn't do it for me, but the story of its scandalous semi-improvised pisstake production is more interesting than most.
Read 2020
**
I didn't realise how lucky I was to grow up in a village, surrounded by the stench of cow pats. This book is for urban kids who only know the countryside from books... so doesn't really help there. The audiobook presentation has a nice birdsong backing that's better than the poetry.
Read 2017
***
Even if you picked this up randomly without looking at the number, MacGregor firmly establishes it as the beginning of the intermediary canon by presenting Henry Jr's graduation and first age-appropriate Young Adult adventure between the grizzled films and whatever The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles was like.
The author knows his Indy (he wrote the well-received Last Crusade novelisation) and his history (his bio says he organises adventure tours of lost cities for travel writers), so the historical backdrops of 1920s Chicago, Paris and Greece are all very impressive. it's consequently much too wordy to be a real candidate for a potential Indiana Jones film, though there's still some rope-swinging and car chases in there.
Obviously these events are all as canonical or apocryphal as the reader prefers, but young Indy having the hots for his mature, adventurous professor is a nice complement to the films. If only George Lucas had taken notes about what makes a good prequel.
The author knows his Indy (he wrote the well-received Last Crusade novelisation) and his history (his bio says he organises adventure tours of lost cities for travel writers), so the historical backdrops of 1920s Chicago, Paris and Greece are all very impressive. it's consequently much too wordy to be a real candidate for a potential Indiana Jones film, though there's still some rope-swinging and car chases in there.
Obviously these events are all as canonical or apocryphal as the reader prefers, but young Indy having the hots for his mature, adventurous professor is a nice complement to the films. If only George Lucas had taken notes about what makes a good prequel.
Read 2017
***
Now that MacGregor's B-canon is established, we can spend less time on introductions and only a little time advertising the previous book. We've also mercifully skipped right over Indy's PhD, so he's now a fully-fledged professor teaching archaeology to admiring students and you don't have to fight the Harrison Ford mental images any more. Even if those covers are still prematurely grizzled.
Now that MacGregor's B-canon is established, we can spend less time on introductions and only a little time advertising the previous book. We've also mercifully skipped right over Indy's PhD, so he's now a fully-fledged professor teaching archaeology to admiring students and you don't have to fight the Harrison Ford mental images any more. Even if those covers are still prematurely grizzled.
The action's still unreasonably stalled by weighty historical exposition just like in the first book, but I liked it more this time. Maybe it was just the quaint British scenery, but I even enjoyed sitting through Dr. Jones' lectures and real-time research.
If you were in charge of abridging the C60 audiobook, you could safely chop out most of the first half and keep the dumb action finale. MacGregor has to write for the target audience occasionally. I have the feeling I'm going to miss his unnecessary enthusiasm when the series passes into the less calloused hands it deserves.
If you were in charge of abridging the C60 audiobook, you could safely chop out most of the first half and keep the dumb action finale. MacGregor has to write for the target audience occasionally. I have the feeling I'm going to miss his unnecessary enthusiasm when the series passes into the less calloused hands it deserves.
Rob MacGregor, Indiana Jones and the Seven Veils
Read 2017
Third time's the charm. If this doesn't end up being the best of the bunch, then they're really spoiling us beyond contractual obligations.
MacGregor's done a skillful job gradually sculpting the young student into the dour adventurer, but it's inevitably been lacking so far. From the booby trap packed opening to various death-defying dangles, we're in familiar territory now. You can practically see the red trails left by cruise ships and seaplanes and hear the Raiders March even if you aren't listening to the soundtracks already like you know you are. Lucasfilm even relaxes its inexplicable moratorium on established characters and lets Marcus Brody show up.
Best of all, MacGregor actually does go down the pulp tribute route I naively longed for at the start of this, fusing his trademark archaeological zeal with a zany jungle mystery that's like something from Edgar Rice Burroughs (I imagine). This is much better than it's required to be. I wish I could say that for most of them.
Read 2017
***
MacGregor weirdly tears down the scaffolding he'd built up in the previous three books of Twentysomething Indiana Jones Chronicles, taking us back to Chicago, terminating Jones' promising career and killing off the inconvenient wife (she died at the end of the previous book, but I thought that was part of the whole deception/illusion. Nah).
MacGregor weirdly tears down the scaffolding he'd built up in the previous three books of Twentysomething Indiana Jones Chronicles, taking us back to Chicago, terminating Jones' promising career and killing off the inconvenient wife (she died at the end of the previous book, but I thought that was part of the whole deception/illusion. Nah).
Maybe this return to an episodic approach was a mandate from Lucasbooks (as I assume the subsidiary's called), as the death-defying adventure to recover a Biblical relic (Noah's Ark this time) tries its best to imitate the two films people liked best, rather than daring to do its own thing. Though it really ends up making Indy's sceptical attitude in those latter day adventures more problematic. He'd already raided one lost ark.
A booby trapped maze saved it towards the end. I'm easy to please sometimes.
A booby trapped maze saved it towards the end. I'm easy to please sometimes.
Read 2017
***
The first Indy film features a scene in which angel/demon entities fly out of a magic box and melt Nazis, so I'm not one of those people who find it hard to swallow aliens, unicorns and the like showing up in their ultra-realistic Indiana Jones adventures.
But if you picked this one up expecting a lighter fantasy-tinged yarn, the excessive cowboys-n-injuns violence you'd find in its place could made you feel a bit unwell. You should also be prepared to deal with a strong and independent female lead, rather than the swooning damsel the cover promises. Avoid basing your expectations of the content of a publication on the often misleading artwork that adorns it, that's what I always say.
The weirdest executive decision about this series continues to be the the denial of familiar character reprises. Here, we're witness to the seeds of a classic hero/villain dynamic as a rival archaeologist quests for fortune over fame, but it inexplicably isn't the same bad guy from the start of Raiders.
The first Indy film features a scene in which angel/demon entities fly out of a magic box and melt Nazis, so I'm not one of those people who find it hard to swallow aliens, unicorns and the like showing up in their ultra-realistic Indiana Jones adventures.
But if you picked this one up expecting a lighter fantasy-tinged yarn, the excessive cowboys-n-injuns violence you'd find in its place could made you feel a bit unwell. You should also be prepared to deal with a strong and independent female lead, rather than the swooning damsel the cover promises. Avoid basing your expectations of the content of a publication on the often misleading artwork that adorns it, that's what I always say.
The weirdest executive decision about this series continues to be the the denial of familiar character reprises. Here, we're witness to the seeds of a classic hero/villain dynamic as a rival archaeologist quests for fortune over fame, but it inexplicably isn't the same bad guy from the start of Raiders.
Read 2017
**
I was looking forward to this one. The hollow Earth is one of my favourite outlandish (inlandish?) "theories," though it doesn't exactly feel like the right fit for the world of Indiana Jones. Indy can dig up all the holy artifacts and historical unicorn horns he wants, but my suspension of disbelief has its limits. They'll be doing aliens next.
I was looking forward to this one. The hollow Earth is one of my favourite outlandish (inlandish?) "theories," though it doesn't exactly feel like the right fit for the world of Indiana Jones. Indy can dig up all the holy artifacts and historical unicorn horns he wants, but my suspension of disbelief has its limits. They'll be doing aliens next.
But it's Rob MacGregor's last book, and he's clearly exhausted his viable concepts by now, so let's cut him some slack and try to appreciate this fantasy tale of magic portals, shapeshifters and mythical creatures as he weakly connects a few dots across his era (ignoring other loose ends completely). If it's too much to handle, Brody offers up some desperate rationalisations in the epilogue that sound just reasonable enough to excuse it all.
Arthur Machen, The Great God Pan and The Inmost Light
Read 2015, re-read 2021
****
I preferred The Hill of Dreams, even if it loses disastrously in the title stakes, but it's easy to understand what Pan's people see in this one. Reckless brain surgery, infernal metamorphosis, tactfully alluded rape and orgies, this must have blown those Victorians' hosiery off. The lesser-read second story continues the themes of possession and misogyny, but it does feel tacked on just so he can charge for the full L.P. All modern editions just go with the E.P.
Fave: The Great God Pan
Worstie: The Inmost Light
Arthur Machen, The Three Impostors
***
When I read The Hill of Dreams, Machen was instantly catapulted to the forefront of classic authors I was excited to read more from, and the roll has all been downhill since. This one occupies an unsatisfying middle ground between proper novel and collection of tangentially related occult tales, and while it's always nice to spend more time wandering sinister gas-lit 1890s London streets, I was hoping there'd be a destination at the end of it.
Read 2022
****
The same story he always writes, this time via Edwardian soap opera.
Read 2015, re-read 2021
*****
Lucian Taylor is one of those rare literary characters I can actually relate to and empathise with along his inevitable downhill slide. This is another book that has all the right ingredients, but this time – no doubt due to arcane sorcery on the author's part, cunningly paralleled in the story itself – the alchemy works and it's one of my new favourite novels. There's a perfect split between the spooky Welsh countryside and gloomy Victorian London; perfect magical/mental ambiguity; a barely camouflaged bisexual orgy that I'm not sure how he got away with; philosophising on the power of the written word that's thought-provoking rather than masturbatory; and for once a turn-of-the-century book isn't even racist. Maybe I can finally draw a line under this occult fixation now, before you start to worry about me. You should see my music folder.
Read 2020
***
A decent weird rural psychological sci-fi horror murder mystery, mainly interesting for being written and set during wartime, rather than weirdly ignoring it like most stay-at-home literature of the period.
Read 2015
***
Machen's last novel is basically a lesser rewrite of The Hill of Dreams. Where that doomed city dweller was haunted by the intangible essence of the countryside, his counterpart in The Green Round is shadowed by a more substantial dwarf poltergeist thing.
Read 2020
***
A nice little phantasmagoric walking tour of Londons, though I don't see the point of extracting a story from readily-available collections, beyond helping out readers with their alphabetical odysseys. (Did he write X at any point?)
Read 2022
***
A more intimate acquaintance with the artist than I'm usually comfortable considering when enjoying nice sounds.
Read 2020
***
Presumably a best-of of topics covered on the long-running podcast, that means most of them will already be familiar to anyone who's spent any amount of time with similarly-named podcasts or YouTube channels that all cover exactly the same things. The presentation's more tolerable than most of those, since each X-file is appended with possible rational explanations or philosophical musings about the limits of knowledge, but he's still indulging the suggestion that there might be something otherworldly in blatant mental illness and helping to ensure these tragic victims' meme legacies, so it still belongs with the Top 5 Bizarre Unexplained Mysteries videos with a red arrow in the thumbnail reposting blurry Photoshopped clips that were debunked in 2011. I should really stop watching those.
Read 2023
***
Descend through the murky underwater rainbow. I think you're supposed to retrace their steps back to the start, unless you prefer to consign them to the cold, dark depths.
Read 2015
**
I don't even care about Madonna, but even I was aware of this infamous and surprising release. Despite its devastating lack of artistic value, it is an admirably audacious stunt (I said stunt), and it's impressive that she's actually, properly naked in it.
Jimmy Maher, The Future Was Here: The Commodore Amiga
Read 2015
***
Sticking stubbornly with your dinosaur bands is one thing, but primitive computer nostalgia? This Amiga historian doesn't romanticise the ramshackle machine too much, but he does make an adorably passionate argument for why the modern world would be an ever-so-slightly different place if it wasn't for those bouncing balls, obnoxious demos and Deluxe Paint.
Our A1200 was a massive part of my childhood, but I was never as interested or capable of understanding the technical side of things as my dad and brother (claimed to be). This book hasn't really helped with that, but it was enjoyable to see those classic defence cards still being played 20 years down the line:
"Did you know that some of the background dinosaurs on Jurassic Park might have been done on an Amiga? And the unconvincing space scenes in the first few seasons of Babylon 5? SeaQuest DSV, people!"
Read 2021
***
A couple of imaginative juvenile fantasies and one incongruous juvenile gross-out. You're not always in the same mode, after all.
Fave: 'The Midnight Story on Griffon Hill'
Read 2015
***
"Discordianism is not just a religion; it is a mental illness."
The counter-culture/flower-power era must have spawned plenty of attractive new religions in retaliation against the stuffy establishment, but Discordianism takes the space cake as the most effective rebellion of them all. I'd seen extracts from this shambolically xeroxed core text quoted by like-minded authors over the years, but this is the first time I've read the thing. It's as funny, sharp, immature and pointless as I'd hoped. I felt like I'd wasted my time just reading it – how about the people who actually live by it? They know it's a joke, but that doesn't dampen their enthusiasm. That's to be commended. Is it?
The counter-culture/flower-power era must have spawned plenty of attractive new religions in retaliation against the stuffy establishment, but Discordianism takes the space cake as the most effective rebellion of them all. I'd seen extracts from this shambolically xeroxed core text quoted by like-minded authors over the years, but this is the first time I've read the thing. It's as funny, sharp, immature and pointless as I'd hoped. I felt like I'd wasted my time just reading it – how about the people who actually live by it? They know it's a joke, but that doesn't dampen their enthusiasm. That's to be commended. Is it?
Read 2014
**
A noble effort to impose non-canonical order on a fictional universe that's doomed to create more problems than it solves, I'd always been curious to check this out and eventually caved. It's all nicely laid out and colourful, but it didn't make me feel anything. They're just making it up.
Read 2024
****
Gory Quatermassian sci-fi horror. Another gem hidden by a generic title.
Read 2014
***
Usurping Paul McGann as the underdog Doctor, the John Hurt incarnation is the easiest to comprehensively collect, if you have a completist personality but want to keep things manageable. This novel was better than expected, and despite being based in the comprehensible fringes of the Time War out of sane necessity, it added to rather than diminished that arch part of the continuity. Much better than Big Finish's bland take.
Read 2021, re-read 2022
***
Her funnest counting book so far. Minimalist with character. I don't know how much she grasped the dark humour of it all, but she wanted a second round anyway.
Read 2015, re-read 2020
I often come across books I wish I'd owned as a child, but this one takes the biscuit. If I ever have a child of my own, I'll make a point of locking them in a room with just this sinister book, a torch, a pen and paper for company, and only let them out when they slide the correct 16-step route under the door. They'll get all the chances I never had. The perfect desert island book to keep you occupied, even if it would fail spectacularly at keeping you sane.
Christopher Manson, The Practical Alchemist: Showing the Way an Ordinary House-Cat May Be Transformed into True Gold
Read 2019***
Not the engulfing enigma that Maze was, this elaborate word and picture puzzle with cryptic clues probably goes on a bit too long for most people's attention spans, but the answers are in the back if you're getting frustrated. Full of Manson's distinctive crosshatching, this time more quirky than sinister, I have the feeling he was more into it than anyone else was.
Read 2023
***
For future reference, I imagine.
Read 2010
**
After he stopped writing for Alan Partridge and the like, Patrick Marber became one of them serious and edgy playwrights. These apathetic dialogues came across like an even smugger Coupling.
Read 2024
***
Pictures and quizzes with wordy bits to variably skim, the best trivia is that the book was published on her birth date.
Read 2023
***
Be careful what you wish for. Sitting through a whole book of this joke is quite the ordeal.
Read 2019*
Read-along Christmas stories were one of my favourite parts of the festive season as a child. I also liked science fiction and comics. So there's a slim chance I might actually have enjoyed this, though even if I didn't, I would have contentedly gone through the ritual repeatedly regardless. I haven't watched the legendarily crap film, but the story isn't any worse than your standard contrived festive comic tie-in, which is to say abominable. The lavish full-cast audio production is better than it deserves.
Read 2011
*
Considering it's written by an advertising exec, it could have been clearer that this "quirky" self-help book is primarily aimed at businesspeople. But I still downloaded it, didn't I, so he got me. He evidently didn't pay much attention to the franchise's anti-capitalist stance.
Read 2020
***
I haven't reached that stage yet (you can't be mad at a baby), but this was a useful preemptive primer for how to manipulate my child into a better-rounded human being than I am, when it wasn't being overly fearmongering in its manipulation of readers.
Read 2022
****
Bought more for myself at this stage, with the optimistic aim of secretly teaching myself during childcare so I can end up not looking completely inept by the time she may want to learn herself. Its Key Stage 1 presentation is frankly as patronising as I need.
Read 1992**
The weird prehistoric sitcom was all downhill after the opening titles, but we were bigger fans than I remember, having toys and almost a video if our Nana hadn't got confused. I was shaken when I realised this picture book was novelising the most distressing episode where the little critters get eaten, I might have abandoned it before that ending.
Read 2021
**
Distastefully convincing historie of an absolute rotter. I bought the Complete Plays and Poems by accident when temporarily forgetting I already had Dr Faustus in an anthology, so I'll donate it before I waste more precious reading time trying to get my money's worth.
Read 2003
****
I eventually got around to reading the more acclaimed German one, but the English one with less romance and more tomfoolery is my preferred version (after Švankmajer's, anyway). Easily my favourite thing we studied at A-level, I was always content with a bit of fire and brimstone.
Read 2020
**
Inconsistent and repetitive at the same time, Dark Horse Indy isn't the satisfying supplement that the novels were. But since Hergé died, I guess there was a market for sub-par Tintin.
Lee Marrs and Leo Durañona, based on the story by Joe Pinney, Hal Barwood, Bill Stoneham and Aric Wilmunder, Indiana Jones and the Iron Phoenix
Read 2020***
Another game adaptation – which means it's as poorly paced as any action film's economic comic conversion – this one's more interesting than Fate of Atlantis, since this Temple of Doom-style horror sequel was never made in the end. But that didn't stop me mentally animating its elder gods, tree women and Nazi zombies in hyperactive retro pixels. I never would have made it that far anyway.
Read 2020
***
A colonial parable for kids to grow up with and gradually lose their innocence to, provided they don't find it as off-puttingly grim and ugly as I did and would actually want to read through it again for reasons other than vague ancestral penitence.
Charles Marshall, Jerry Bingham, Leonard Kirk and Tim Eldred, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Dax's Comet
Read 2018**
Mainly notable for being accidentally a bit similar to upcoming episodes and developments (I read recently that '90s print 'Trek was about 18 months behind, which explains so much), but worse. It's comforting that the series has climbed back to sub-par standard you'd expect from a Star Trek comic after the complete dregs of the previous couple of issues. Though the art seems to be deteriorating.
Read 2023
*
After pretending to read a Pony chapter book she's too young for, she likes to unwind with a 3D baby book.
Read 2020
***
I would have written this off as a calculated Beethoven rip-off. Finding out that that's basically what it is doesn't make me appreciate it any more, but good effort at a defence.
Read 2011
****
Sometimes, the limited, populist selections of makeshift tourist bookshops yield gems. I was resistant to what seemed to be a kids' book, but it turned out to be a meaningful and highly distinctive story. Unless it turns out it's based on an old Indian folk tale like these experimental postmodern works often are.
Read 2021, re-read 2022
**
It teaches colours and animals, but not in ways ground-breaking enough to make sense of its reputation. I forgot we'd even read it before, unless that was one of the sequels/remakes.
Read 2022
***
I read Dick's novel before I saw the film, but this middling photonovel would have been helpful for older kids, shelving the symbolism to clarify implied background and character details.
Read 1997***
Every inconsistent episode of The X-Files' nostalgic first season was treated to a non-judgemental video release and junior novelisation before the bastards stopped bothering outside of the 'important' episodes. This was the only one I happened to read, but I reminded me of an archetypal episode I'd liked and would be otherwise unable to see again before they got around to releasing DVDs. You kids today with your digital boxsets on tap don't know you're born. Appreciate it.
Michael A. Martin & Andy Mangels, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Mission Gamma #3 – Cathedral
Read 2016
***
Louis Marvick, The Madman of Tosterglope
Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels, The Communist Manifesto
Read 2015
**
Jean and Claudio Marzollo and R. J. Blake, The Baby Unicorn
David Masciotra, Metallica's Metallica
Frans Masereel, Le Soleil: 63 images dessinées et gravées sur bois
Read 2020
***
Andy Maslen, 100 Great Copywriting Ideas: From Leading Companies Around the World
Read 2015
***
Andy Maslen, Persuasive Copywriting: Using Psychology to Influence, Engage and Sell
Read 2016
****
Cristina Massaccesi, Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror
Read 2020
****
David Massey, Kathy Dickinson, Ian Bell and David Braben, Frontier: Elite II – Gazetteer
Read 2020
*
David Massey, Moira Sheehan and Kathy Dickinson, Frontier: Elite II – Stories of Life on the Frontier
Read 2020
**
Fave: David Massey's 'All That Glisters...' [sic]
Arthur Mathews and Graham Linehan, Father Ted: The Craggy Island Parish Magazines
Michaelangelo Matos, Prince's Sign o' the Times
Read 2020
***
Daniel C. Matt, The Essential Kabbalah: The Heart of Jewish Mysticism
Read 2015
***
Steve Matteo, The Beatles' Let It Be
Read 2020
**
Menton J. Matthews III, Kasra Ghanbari and collaborators, Monocyte: In the Land of the Blind the One Eyed Is King
Read 2015
**
Rupert Matthews, Haunted York
Lorenzo Mattotti and Jerry Kramsky, Fires & Murmur
W. Somerset Maugham, The Magician
Read 2015
***
The Rik Mayall, Bigger Than Hitler – Better Than Christ
Read 2015
*
Christopher Maynard, Dinosaurs
Margaret Mayo, Emergency!
Ewa Mazierska and Mariusz Gradowski, Czeslaw Niemen's Niemen Enigmatic
Danny McAleese and David Kristoph, Treasures of the Forgotten City
Read 2017
***
Sam McBratney and Anita Jeram, Here I Am!: A Finger Puppet Book
David McCandless, The Trekmaster: Trek Trivia Quiz
Read 1998
**
I can't remember a single question from this presumably budget buy, preferring to test my trivia on that multiple-choice Amiga game I played so often that I memorised all the answers through process of elimination. I mainly remember how pathetically unauthorised this was, from its non-canon cover to the section on some series called 'Deep Space.'
Brendan McCarthy and Al Ewing, The Zaucer of Zilk
Cormac McCarthy, Child of God
Read 2014
***
Cormac McCarthy, The Road
Read 2014
****
Bill McCay, Stargate: Rebellion
Read 2017
Bill McCay, Stargate: Retaliation
Read 2017
Bill McCay, Stargate: Retribution
Read 2017
***
Bill McCay, Stargate: Reconnaissance
Read 2017
**
Bill McCay, Stargate: Resistance
Read 2017
**
John McClelland, FunFax: Survive At School – English & Science
Read 1996
*
Una McCormack, Doctor Who: The King's Dragon
Una McCormack, Doctor Who: The Way Through the Woods
Max McCoy, Indiana Jones and the Philosopher's Stone
Read 2017
Michael A. Martin & Andy Mangels, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Mission Gamma #3 – Cathedral
Read 2016
Turns out it wasn't the divided action that was the problem last time, it was just a really boring story. This one's only half-boring as the Bajoran religion continues to drag things down station-side, while over in the Gamma Quadrant an ancient, multidimensional space enigma keeps things more interesting. It helps a great deal that this was written by a couple of prolific DS9 veterans. Okay, they only wrote the comics and not any of the actual episodes, but they understand these characters and know exactly how to put them through heck for the printed equivalent of 45 minutes.
Read 2023
**
As deliberately ugly and unsatisfying as the creations it describes, or it can at least pretend that was the point.
Read 2015
**
It makes a sort of sense, but I wouldn't really want to live in that world, and not only because I'm a tax dodger who's just bought property. You didn't happen to bring a Plan B or...? Okay, thanks anyway.
Read 2023
****
The subject matter kept her engaged through this wordy picture book, featuring commendable old-school weirdness and grit.
Read 2024
**
Chunky promotional pamphlet with some worthwhile interview snippets amid the error-riddled sales copy.
Frans Masereel, Le Soleil: 63 images dessinées et gravées sur boisRead 2020
***
I've always liked medieval woodcuts, and the sharp, jagged form made a perfect fit for expressionism, or whatever you'd call this. Not many of these wordless tableux are wall-worthy artworks on their own, but together they make a pleasing flipbook.
Andy Maslen, 100 Great Copywriting Ideas: From Leading Companies Around the World
Read 2015***
Since there were no examples in the last writing guide I read, this helped to balance things out. Some good tips, mostly refreshers or N/A. I usually avoid these books if they're more than a couple of years old, but the author claims that his timeless techniques haven't changed much since he started out in 1986. I'd be a bit worried about that, if I were him. But who am I to argue with someone who's written more than 3,000 pieces of copy in 23 years? I think I passed that in year one.
Read 2016
****
I got some valuable pointers and reminders from this one about how to be manipulative, even if I knowingly disregard them often in an attempt to retain at least a portion of soul.
Read 2020
****
Enthusiastic reading and formal analysis that also explores some of the nuttier interpretations and conspiracy theories surrounding the timeless terror.
Read 2020
*
This unnecessary supplement fills in the lore (if you really needed to know who Grant of Grant's Claim fame was), but won't be of any practical help for making those few transactions before you get blasted out of the sky (maybe some people got further than I did).
David Massey, Moira Sheehan and Kathy Dickinson, Frontier: Elite II – Stories of Life on the Frontier
**
A world-building story cycle of standard sci-fi tropes to help you pass the tedious autopilot time or escape to the polygon universe during silent reading sessions at school. I never took it up on either of those options while this sat in the box of Amiga manuals for years, but better never than late.
Fave: David Massey's 'All That Glisters...' [sic]
Read 2022
***
It's nice to see more of Father Crilly's day job, and his fleeting interests, grudges and other distractions. Less so the overwrought island-building and expanded ecclesiastical universe.
Read 2020
***
I related to the tales of the junior critic ranking and rating to bring order to the world, and this has a sense of closure about it as a lifelong Prince fan celebrates his favourite release without being fawning, certainly less than it would be today.
Daniel C. Matt, The Essential Kabbalah: The Heart of Jewish Mysticism
Read 2015
***
The mystical powers of Hebrew letters and numbers crop up from time to time in the weird TV shows I like, and this is a concise introduction to the slightly out-there ideas of the Kabbalah – a school of thought that a bunch of Jewish people came up with in the 13th century that mixes creative Bible interpretation with standard philosophical ideas about being excellent to each other and hopefully being born male. While it isn't the Bumper Book of Hebrew Spells I was naively hoping for, it did clear up a few long-standing concerns I've had, such as: how long is God's beard? (A: 34,500 miles). And why keep esoteric wisdom so secret if you think we could all benefit? It's for our own protection apparently, and has nothing at all to do with insecure religious leaders' power trips.
Read 2020
**
I've never got the Beatles obsession, but I like their later albums well enough and could do with knowing them better. This wasn't very illuminating, focusing more on the artists' personal lives and the context than digging into the music like I like. Maybe there's not that much to it.
Menton J. Matthews III, Kasra Ghanbari and collaborators, Monocyte: In the Land of the Blind the One Eyed Is King
Read 2015
As a child, after I'd finished reading the latest Segatastic issue of Sonic the Comic aloud to my youngest brother, I'd go through it again improvising hilarious new captions for the action. I recommend making up your own "Stupid Story" for Monocyte, or seeking out an edition in a foreign language that bears no relation to yours. This has the dual benefit of encouraging you to analyse the excellent painted artwork in detail and not having to read the tedious theolocalyptical narrative that tries and fails so hard at being intellectual that it should be funny. But it's not, it's just irritating. And the text's too small. And seemingly in the Harry Potter font.
Read 2020
**
It's only a slim souvenir, but no unverified anecdote is too meagre for this credulous chronicle, whether they're well thought through, like the famous wading Romans, or they're confusing rust with blood. It's funny now, but the ghost tour was a highlight of our school trips. My brother bought this when it was his go, it beat another keyring.
Read 2021
***
Daumal meets Seuss in cubist colonial horror and introspective wank.
Fave: Fires
Worstie: Murmur
Read 2015
***
I know a little about the life of Aleister Crowley, but enough to know that his unambiguous fictional counterpart in Oliver Haddo is largely farcical. Maugham's presentation of the Great Beast himself and assorted occult tropes are all well and good until about half way through, when the plot starts happening and the satisfying magic/science debate is abandoned in favour of a fairy tale. The conventional romance plot is the least interesting aspect by far – I was more fascinated by the lingering influence of the real Crowley over the whole thing. The author claims he found the magician an absurd figure, ripe for parody, but would you base a whole novel around some weirdo you'd only bumped into a couple of times? So all writers are in love with their villains now, are they? Is it because the author's gay, Dave? Go back to your ninja turtles.
The Rik Mayall, Bigger Than Hitler – Better Than Christ
*
If I was serious about paying tribute to the sadly departed The Rik Mayall, I would have abandoned this mock semi-autobiography very early on when it became clear it wasn't exactly going to be a belter. But like a complete bastard, I had to keep reading on disappointedly, knowing I was just going to have to slag it off. Well, no one's making me. The title's funny, isn't it? Now go and watch Kevin Turvey.
Read 1993
****
The first, briefest and best of my dino books, these illustrations with their unforgettable grimaces are still my mental images of many prehistoric creatures today. The glossy DK references were stuffy in comparison.
Read 2023
***
Back when picture books made an impression with writing rather than wheels and flaps.
Read 2022
***
A reverential study of Poland's prog-pop prophet befitting a nationalist composer, at least before the final section archiving random YouTube approval.
Read 2017
***
It’s heartening to see the multiple-choice adventure gamebook still going strong 30 years on from the genre's retro heyday.
This first adventure in the Ultimate Ending series by old-school Dungeons & Dragons veteran Danny McAleese and David Kristoph was written specifically for the ebook format, but time-saving hyperlinks replacing dog-eared page-flicking is its only concession to modernity. It's otherwise a completely authentic retro throwback in the Stranger Things mould; not trying to outdo its forebears, just doing its best to earn a place alongside Fighting Fantasy and GrailQuest on the shelves of an anachronistic 1985 bookshop.
This first adventure in the Ultimate Ending series by old-school Dungeons & Dragons veteran Danny McAleese and David Kristoph was written specifically for the ebook format, but time-saving hyperlinks replacing dog-eared page-flicking is its only concession to modernity. It's otherwise a completely authentic retro throwback in the Stranger Things mould; not trying to outdo its forebears, just doing its best to earn a place alongside Fighting Fantasy and GrailQuest on the shelves of an anachronistic 1985 bookshop.
Read 2021
*
An entirely gimmicky spin-off starring popular breakout characters we don't know, I couldn't be bothered to do it properly through every repetitive page and she didn't seem interested either.
Read 1998
**
I can't remember a single question from this presumably budget buy, preferring to test my trivia on that multiple-choice Amiga game I played so often that I memorised all the answers through process of elimination. I mainly remember how pathetically unauthorised this was, from its non-canon cover to the section on some series called 'Deep Space.'
Read 2023
****
I'n't Zilk zany?
Read 2014
***
When you enjoy Gothic trappings so much, you have to put up with some visceral unpleasantness every now and then. The literary wanker in me appreciated this story of dark corruption personified, but shame about the necrophilia. I'll stick with coy Victorian horror if it's alright with you.
Read 2014
****
This apocalyptic ambience is nonish by nature, so I can't remember any differences between the book and the film. It's one of those films I mainly think of for its nice soundtrack anyway, so the film wins.
Bill McCay, Stargate: Rebellion
Read 2017
***
McCay's first book is partly the Stargate II you'd expect, replacing the defeated Ra with another false Egyptian deity who shows up in a bigger ship for an action-packed ending that's pretty much the same as the film. Except that Hathor survives for a vengeful rematch (Update: x2).
The universe-building is the most interesting angle, as we shake off the human-centric narrative every couple of chapters to get a detailed overview of how Space Egypt works. It's not exactly Dune, but these power struggles between god pretender contenders should see us through a few books without things having to get silly and desperate. Let's see how that goes. (Update: cat people).
The most substantial chunk of the story is less predictable, as McCay pulls on the film's uncomfortable colonial parallels until they unravel into a full-on condemnation of American foreign policy and the exploitation of the developing world under the friendly guise of universalisation.
It's a surprisingly mature and interesting approach that treats the Stargate premise more seriously than it really deserves. Nude combat and explosions aside, it would have made a boring movie.
McCay's first book is partly the Stargate II you'd expect, replacing the defeated Ra with another false Egyptian deity who shows up in a bigger ship for an action-packed ending that's pretty much the same as the film. Except that Hathor survives for a vengeful rematch (Update: x2).
The universe-building is the most interesting angle, as we shake off the human-centric narrative every couple of chapters to get a detailed overview of how Space Egypt works. It's not exactly Dune, but these power struggles between god pretender contenders should see us through a few books without things having to get silly and desperate. Let's see how that goes. (Update: cat people).
The most substantial chunk of the story is less predictable, as McCay pulls on the film's uncomfortable colonial parallels until they unravel into a full-on condemnation of American foreign policy and the exploitation of the developing world under the friendly guise of universalisation.
It's a surprisingly mature and interesting approach that treats the Stargate premise more seriously than it really deserves. Nude combat and explosions aside, it would have made a boring movie.
Bill McCay, Stargate: Retaliation
Read 2017
**
McCay's self-sequel exaggerates the imbalance of its predecessor, spending almost the entire first half on dull domestic disputes that threaten to tear the recently liberated Abydos apart before Hathor returns in the second half in an even bigger spaceship and does that more literally.
It's such a jarring shift from boring politics and romantic angst back to dumb action movie mode that it feels like it was written by two different people, or by the same author whose first 100 pages weren't well received and was told to sort it out.
A couple of forgotten characters from the film return for the sake of it and McCay has fun retconning sci-fi explanations onto more Egyptian myths, which is always the best thing about these. The abrupt climax changes the narrative considerably and moves things along, which can only be a good thing. Surely.
McCay's self-sequel exaggerates the imbalance of its predecessor, spending almost the entire first half on dull domestic disputes that threaten to tear the recently liberated Abydos apart before Hathor returns in the second half in an even bigger spaceship and does that more literally.
It's such a jarring shift from boring politics and romantic angst back to dumb action movie mode that it feels like it was written by two different people, or by the same author whose first 100 pages weren't well received and was told to sort it out.
A couple of forgotten characters from the film return for the sake of it and McCay has fun retconning sci-fi explanations onto more Egyptian myths, which is always the best thing about these. The abrupt climax changes the narrative considerably and moves things along, which can only be a good thing. Surely.
Bill McCay, Stargate: Retribution
***
With Abydos destroyed and the even-more-vengeful Hathor setting her sights on Earth, this closing installment of the original book trilogy probably isn't far off what a genuine Stargate sequel would have been. Basically Independence Day with a giant flying tetrahedron instead of circles. If you'd seen that film but hadn't seen Stargate (yet were still inexplicably reading this book), you'd be excused for mentally casting Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith as the leads. And wondering where the humour went.
There's more to it than that, as McCay customarily explores the realistic political ramifications of the nonsense with an Abydan refugee crisis, squabbling over budgets and international agreements and everyday Islamic terrorism. On a brighter note, the series returns to its roots as we dig up more forgotten alien artifacts on Earth, so that was nice.
After being royally screwed over in the previous book, Daniel Jackson is redeemed here as Earth's level-headed saviour, even if it was his genius that caused this whole mess, twice over now. Jack O'Neil's still around too, for contractual reasons, but he's irrelevant.
There's more to it than that, as McCay customarily explores the realistic political ramifications of the nonsense with an Abydan refugee crisis, squabbling over budgets and international agreements and everyday Islamic terrorism. On a brighter note, the series returns to its roots as we dig up more forgotten alien artifacts on Earth, so that was nice.
After being royally screwed over in the previous book, Daniel Jackson is redeemed here as Earth's level-headed saviour, even if it was his genius that caused this whole mess, twice over now. Jack O'Neil's still around too, for contractual reasons, but he's irrelevant.
Bill McCay, Stargate: Reconnaissance
Read 2017
Unexciting title and palette swap cover art that no longer bears any relation to the actual Stargate colour? Welcome to the supplemental years of an already supplementary series.
TV spin-off SG-1 was on the air by this point, a connection the book is visibly keen to capitalise on, despite the discordant continuity. So with McCay's Hathor/Abydos arc tied up, he was presumably instructed to shift the focus to exploring new horizons through random Stargates, and just keep on doing that until the phone stops ringing.
But because he's Bill McCay, he has to go and dampen the adventurous spirit with depressing politics and in-fighting among the increasingly annoying Abydos refugees. As always, this is abandoned on cue around the half-way mark to focus on the new external threat of cyborg leopards or something. So he set up all those other Egyptian gods and power struggles in the first book for nothing.
TV spin-off SG-1 was on the air by this point, a connection the book is visibly keen to capitalise on, despite the discordant continuity. So with McCay's Hathor/Abydos arc tied up, he was presumably instructed to shift the focus to exploring new horizons through random Stargates, and just keep on doing that until the phone stops ringing.
But because he's Bill McCay, he has to go and dampen the adventurous spirit with depressing politics and in-fighting among the increasingly annoying Abydos refugees. As always, this is abandoned on cue around the half-way mark to focus on the new external threat of cyborg leopards or something. So he set up all those other Egyptian gods and power struggles in the first book for nothing.
Read 2017
**
The fifth and arbitrarily final book (they basically kept getting worse, apart from the third being better than the second to add some variety) fortunately doesn't end on an eternally unresolved cliffhanger, not that I would have lost sleep over it. It's the only totally clean ending in the series, finally resolving the arc of the Abydos refugees that had troubled McCay so, so it's safe to assume he knew his talents were no longer required. We want SG-1 novels now, granddad.
Picking up directly where the previous book left off, there's no time for faffing around with debates and politics as the battle with the cat people is still raging. Bill clarifies a few final universe jigsaw pieces along the way, but learning more about the race that he reckons built the StarGates (sic) hardly matters at this point in the terminated continuity. It's mostly occupied with forest combat and killing little children. Someone didn't take his firing well.
Picking up directly where the previous book left off, there's no time for faffing around with debates and politics as the battle with the cat people is still raging. Bill clarifies a few final universe jigsaw pieces along the way, but learning more about the race that he reckons built the StarGates (sic) hardly matters at this point in the terminated continuity. It's mostly occupied with forest combat and killing little children. Someone didn't take his firing well.
John McClelland, FunFax: Survive At School – English & Science
Read 1996*
I bought these for myself in year six. I don't know why I didn't really get bullied, they were letting me get away with murder. One of these books taught me the supposed longest word in English, which – as someone who bought school-themed FunFax for himself – I naturally learned. There were also some dead fun games, like reading a story and answering questions to show you'd been paying attention.
Read 2024
****
Space fantasy escapism with friends that then gets all serious. I should just read these from now on.
Read 2024
***
Retro folk-horror sci-fi that doesn't do anything new, but at least incorporates time travel.
Read 2017
****
To be fair, Max McCoy did draw the long straw. While MacGregor did a decent job with the formative adventures (still not sure what was up with Caidin's weird secret agent interval), we're almost on top of the film chronology now and Indy is Indy. Nine books in, they're finally giving us what we really wanted all along.
I'm not normally a fan of books that aspire to be adapted to the screen. I prefer those that embrace the potential of the written medium and remain stubbornly unfilmable. But when it comes to novels based on an '80s adventure film franchise, the closer the better. This gets it spot on.
The beginning and the ending are the best bits, and the stuff in-between isn't bad either. And look: Sallah's in it.
Max McCoy, Indiana Jones and the Dinosaur Eggs
Read 2017
Max McCoy, Indiana Jones and the Hollow Earth
Read 2017
***
Max McCoy, Indiana Jones and the Secret of the Sphinx
Read 2017
Jake McDonald, Priddy Learning: My First Colours
Jason McDonald, SEO Fitness Workbook, 2016 Edition: The Seven Steps to Search Engine Optimization Success on Google
Read 2016
****
Most of this is other people's problem and not my responsibility, but since many SEO account managers are so bad at it, it was handy to brush up so I can do their job for them from time to time.
Heather McElhatton, Pretty Little Mistakes: A Do-Over Novel
Read 2014
**
J.P. McEvoy and Oscar Zarate, Introducing Quantum Theory: A Graphic Guide to Science's Most Puzzling Discovery
Read 2015
***
The Introducing Time book in this series was one of my favourite pocket books ever, so I hoped this patronisingly illustrated guide to another complex topic would be similarly illuminating. There were considerably more diagrams and equations this time around. This isn't the first time I've struggled through an introductory course to quantum theory, and it won't be the last unless I finally learn to relax and decide I don't have a duty to try to understand what the hell is going as best we currently understand it, in spite of the major obstacle that I don't understand it. In true quantum spirit, it's simultaneously comforting and frustrating when the book has to conclude that "quantum theory cannot be explained" and "doesn't make sense." Cheers.
Paul McEwan, The Birth of a Nation
Read 2020
**
Todd McFarlane and Greg Capullo, Spawn: Transformation
Read 1999
***
Mike McGonigal, My Bloody Valentine's Loveless
Read 2020
**
Patrick McGrath, The Grotesque
Read 2020
**
Pat McGreal and Dave Rawson, Indiana Jones and the Golden Fleece
Read 2020
**
Jane McGuinness, Say Hi to Hedgehogs!
Richard McGuire, Here
Read 2019
*****
Richard McGuire, Sequential Drawings: The New Yorker Series
John McIlwain, Chester City Break: More Than a Guide
David A. McIntee, Delta Quadrant: The Unofficial Guide to Voyager
Sarah McIntyre, Grumpycorn
Dave McKean and Neil Gaiman, Dust Covers: The Collected Sandman Covers 1989-1997
David McKee, Not Now, Bernard
Read 1991, re-read 1996, 2022
***
David McKee, Elmer series
Anne and Ken McKie, 500 Questions and Answers
Read 1996
***
Eoin McLaughlin and Polly Dunbar, The Hug
Eoin McLaughlin and Rob Starling, This Book Is Not a Bedtime Story
Dena McMurdie, 101 Story Starters for Kids: One-Page Prompts to Kick Your Imagination into High Gear
Michelle McNamara, Paul Haynes and Billy Jensen, I'll Be Gone in the Dark: One Woman's Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer
Read 2019
***
Daisy Meadows, Unicorn Magic: Spiritmane and the Hidden Magic
Wendy Meddour and Cindy Wume, Not in That Dress, Princess!
John Medina, Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five
Read 2020
****
Joan Mellen, Seven Samurai
Read 2020
**
Joan Mellen, Modern Times
Carlton Mellick III, The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment +2: An Adventure for 3-6 Players, Levels 2-5
David Melling, Once Upon a Bedtime
David Melling, Smile with Splosh!
Mike Melman and Bill Holm, The Quiet Hours: City Photographs
Read 2020
**
Colin Meloy, The Replacements' Let It Be
Read 2020
**
Ric Menck, The Byrds' The Notorious Byrd Brothers
Read 2020
***
Sue Meredith, Usborne: Understanding the Facts of Life
Read 1997
***
Before I started secondary school, my mum got this out of the library for me and told me to read it for my own good. Naturally, I got started devouring this useful and exciting information straight away, even if I pretended not to be every time she checked up.
William Messner-Loebs, Dan Barry and Mike Richardson, from a story by Hal Barwood and Noah Falstein, Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis
Read 2020
**
John Metcalfe, The Feasting Dead
Read 2018
***
Steve Metzger and Miki Sakamoto, We're Going on a Leaf Hunt
China Miéville, King Rat
Read 2015
***
China Miéville, Perdido Street Station
Read 2015
***
China Miéville, Emma Bircham and Max Schaefer, Looking for Jake and Other Stories
Read 2020
****
China Miéville, The City & the City
Read 2015
*****
I've just discovered a new favourite author, which means I currently lack the burden of experience needed to be ruthlessly critical and you get a rare glimpse of me just enjoying myself. This unnervingly skewed police procedural is set more or less in the world we're used to, with a couple of major differences. I've been so corrupted by fantastical fiction that it took me an embarrassingly long time to realise these two contrasting cities occupying the same geographic space aren't separated by glowing portals or frays in the fabric of space-time, but by an exaggerated form of the same cultural conditioning that makes beggars, garbage and other undesirable sights invisible in our day-to-day lives – feel-bad sci-fi at its best! So far, so great short story, but then political complications and whispers of a third city lurking somewhere in the cracks help to convince me of the value of the long-form tale.
China Miéville, Kraken
Read 2016
*****
China Miéville, Three Moments of an Explosion: Stories
Read 2015
****
John Migliore and Bill Maus, Stargate: The New Adventures Collection
Mike Mignola and Pat McEown, ZombieWorld: Champion of the Worms
Read 2015
**
Mike Mignola, The Amazing Screw-on Head and Other Curious Objects
Read 2015
***
Anna Milbourne, Rosie Dickens and John Joven, How the Elephant Got His Trunk / How the Whale Got His Throat / How the Rhino Got His Skin
Read 2022
Anna Milbourne and Jessica Knight, Usborne Peep Inside a Fairy Tale: The Elves and the Shoemaker
David W. Miles and Hollie Mengert, Unicorn (and Horse)
Mark Millar, Nigel Kitching and Daniel Vallely, Saviour, Book One
Andy Miller, The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society
Read 2019
***
Frank Miller, Ronin
Read 2020
***
Frank Miller, Batman: The Dark Knight (a.k.a. The Dark Knight Returns)
Read 2014, re-read 2019
*****
Frank Miller and David Mazzucchelli, Batman: Year One
Read 2019
****
M. T. Miller, Risen
Read 2016
***
Risen, the first book of MT Miller's Nameless Chronicle, is a bloody appetiser that will convince you pretty quickly whether you have the stomach for further courses. If you make it through the opening chapter unscathed, in which our nameless "hero" is birthed from the soil and immediately sets about defending himself against a horde of literally faceless adversaries in unflinching graphic detail, you can handle anything.
This is straight-up dystopian fantasy, not a cautionary tale or serious literature to unpick. More Mad Max than The Road, with a comedy amputee sidekick, cyberpunk nun and hillbilly cannibals thrown in for good measure. What it resembles most is a video game, as our stock warrior character tears through legions of identical enemies and picks up advice from NPCs before taking on this book's boss: the big, bad Boneslinger.
Mark Alan Miller, Hellraiser: The Toll
Read 2019
**
Melanie Miller and Tom Golden, Blackadder 5: The Village Years
Sharon Miller, Thomas & Friends: Misty Island Rescue
Spike Milligan, Adolf Hitler: My Part in His Downfall
Read 2020
****
Pat Mills and Kevin O'Neill, Nemesis the Warlock: Book One
Read 2020
***
A. A. Milne and E. H. Shepard, When We Were Very Young
A. A. Milne and E. H. Shepard, Winnie-the-Pooh
A. A. Milne and E. H. Shepard, Now We Are Six
A. A. Milne and E. H. Shepard, The House at Pooh Corner
A. A. Milne, My First Winnie-the-Pooh Jigsaw Book
John Milton, Paradise Lost
Read 2005, re-read 2006, 2012, 2021
*****
John Milton, Paradise Regain'd
Read 2005, re-read 2021
**
John Milton, Samson Agonistes
Read 2012
**
Brian Minchin, Doctor Who: The Forgotten Army
Hope Mirrlees, Paris: A Poem
Read 2019
***
An over-educated flâneuse has a day out in Paris and thinks way too much. The Waste Land Lite, it's a great introduction to this smart-arse movement, its undeserved obscurity in the canon doubtless due to a limited print run from Virginia Woolf's Hogarth Press. Well, you wouldn't want everyone knowing where you get your crazy ideas from.
David Mitchell, Ghostwritten
Read 2019
****
David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas
Read 2019
*****
David Mitchell, Black Swan Green
Read 2020
***
"Books are gay."
David Mitchell, The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet
Read 2020
**
David Mitchell, The Bone Clocks
Read 2020
***
David Mitchell, Slade House
Read 2020
****
David Mitchell, Back Story: A Memoir
Read 2013
***
Tony Mitton and Alison Brown, Snow Penguin
Hayao Miyazaki and artists, Kiki's Delivery Service Film Comic, Vol. 1
Hayao Miyazaki, Nobuhiro Watsuki and artists, The Art of My Neighbor Totoro
Hayao Miyazaki and artists, The Art of Kiki's Delivery Service
Steven Moffat, Doctor Who: The Day of the Doctor
Read 2018
****
A. R. Hope Moncrieff, The Illustrated Guide to Classical Mythology
L. M. Montgomery, Anne at Green Gables
Monty Python, The Brand New Monty Python Bok
Monty Python, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book)
Read 2020
****
"Found them? The cocoanut is a tropical fruit. It's not indigenous to these temperate areas."
This mandatory tie-in book turned out to be surprisingly candid, even throwing in receipts at the end to show off what they achieved on a shoestring. An incomplete and quite insane early draft script is presented for our consideration (all mentions of horses scribbled out as they realised their limitations) along with a later shooting script (still with handwritten improvements and entire scenes excised). It would've blown my mind if I hadn't known about most of this already, but there were plenty of unseen gags and alternate dialogue to enjoy. They actually find the Grail for one, appropriately anticlimactically.
Monty Python, The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus: All the Words
Read 1998, re-read 2003
*****
Monty Python, Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Read 1997
***
Jo Moon, My Fun Learning: First Words
Michael Moorcock, The Eternal Champion
Michael Moorcock, Doctor Who: The Coming of the Terraphiles, or Pirates of the Second Aether
Read 2018
**
Read 2007, re-read 2022
Read 2007, re-read 2022
Alan Moore, Garry Leach and Alan Davis, Miracleman, Vol. 1: A Dream of Flying
Read 2015
****
Alan Moore and David Lloyd, V for Vendetta
Read 2007
****
Alan Moore and Alan Davis, Captain Britain
Read 2020
***
Alan Moore and Jim Baikie, Skizz
Read 2007
***
Alan Moore and artists, Miracleman, Book Two: The Red King Syndrome
Read 2019
****
Alan Moore and Alan Davis, The Complete D.R. & Quinch
Read 2008
**
Alan Moore and Steve Parkhouse, The Complete Bojeffries Saga
Read 2018
***
Alan Moore, Steve Bissette and Rick Veitch, Swamp Thing, Vol. 1: Saga of the Swamp Thing
Read 2007, re-read 2014, 2017
****
Alan Moore and Ian Gibson, The Ballad of Halo Jones, Book One
Read 2007
****
Alan Moore, Stephen Bissette, John Totleben and Shawn McManus, Swamp Thing, Vol. 2: Love and Death
Read 2007, re-read 2014, 2017
****
Alan Moore and Ian Gibson, The Ballad of Halo Jones, Book Two
Read 2007
***
Alan Moore, Stephen Bissette, Rick Veitch and Stan Woch, Swamp Thing, Vol. 3: The Curse
Read 2007, re-read 2014, 2017
*****
Alan Moore and artists, DC Universe: The Stories of Alan Moore
Read 2007
****
Max McCoy, Indiana Jones and the Dinosaur Eggs
Read 2017
***
Now fickle moviegoers are starting to forget about Indiana Jones, and the books are trickling out at one per year, they've finally relaxed the rule about returning characters. Both Belloq and Lao Che make their prequel debuts in this one. No Short Round, alas, but there's a different comedy Chinese sidekick who mixes up his English idioms. LOL!
So what do the kids like these days? Jurassic Park? Yes, write that, McCoy! Surviving dinosaurs is actually one of the less far-fetched things they've asked us to swallow, and the Wild East setting of Outer Mongolia keeps things grittier than the title and cover suggest.
(They do have a dog buddy though).
(They do have a dog buddy though).
Read 2017
***
Last Crusade was basically the same story as Raiders after all. so why not return to the interior world five books after another author did it? Especially since the earlier one was such a muddle. Now the timeline's reached the era of occult Nazi polar expeditions, McCoy can do the Hollow Earth properly, even if that means following established Verne/Bulwer-Lytton tropes rather than doing something new. We saw how that turned out.
Though it would have been nice to at least mention that Indy's had a vaguely similar experience before. And better without the distracting B-plot that keeps awkwardly interrupting the main story because that was low on pages. McCoy's Crystal Skull arc (no relation) isn't the compelling hook he thinks it is.
Max McCoy, Indiana Jones and the Secret of the Sphinx
Read 2017
***
With clunky foreshadowing of Temple of Doom (itself a prequel to Raiders, bizarrely), the original book series comes to a close in another rip-roaring, globe-trotting adventure with punctual peril in every chapter. Apart from some mandatory flogging of his dead Crystal Skull arc, the author keeps things light on continuity to avoid upsetting the casual film fan. To the extent that this book is best enjoyed if it's the only one you happened to pick up.
It's annoying to make it through a 12-book series and realise you know more about this character's history than the person writing him, as McCoy carelessly tramples on the work of his predecessors in exchanges that see the reset Indy explaining that he's never been married and scoffing at the foolish notion of magic despite encountering it all the time (except in Sky Pirates, but that one's even harder to reconcile).
It's annoying to make it through a 12-book series and realise you know more about this character's history than the person writing him, as McCoy carelessly tramples on the work of his predecessors in exchanges that see the reset Indy explaining that he's never been married and scoffing at the foolish notion of magic despite encountering it all the time (except in Sky Pirates, but that one's even harder to reconcile).
But these are only minor niggles and they don't spoil the fun too much. Same for the trifling historical nitpicks, like Pakistan being a country 13 years early. This never happened on MacGregor's watch.
Read 2023
**
If you really didn't teach your child about colours before the age of three, they're going to be blown away. Otherwise, a spinner and dull flaps may not offer much excitement.
Read 2016
****
Most of this is other people's problem and not my responsibility, but since many SEO account managers are so bad at it, it was handy to brush up so I can do their job for them from time to time.
Read 2014
**
You'd be forgiven for thinking the author invented the idea of adult choose-your-own-adventures, based on the hyperbolic blurb she wrote for herself. Maybe she was the first to combine it with vapid chick lit though.
J.P. McEvoy and Oscar Zarate, Introducing Quantum Theory: A Graphic Guide to Science's Most Puzzling Discovery
Read 2015
***
Read 2020
**
Mainly a recap of the pioneering racist classic that clarifies who the heroes and villains are supposed to be for the benefit of modern audiences, since it's often confusing.
Read 1999
***
Daring to browse the library bookshelves outside of tie-ins to television programmes I liked, I might have had more success with this violent supernatural crime caper if they'd had a collection earlier than Vol. 7 so I could get my bearings. But maybe it still wouldn't have been my thing.
Read 2020
**
It always feels a bit like a cheat, not to mention intrusive, when these writers pester the musicians themselves to give the inside story in their own words and make their lightweight book more authoritative. But considering the poor show when he tries to describe the wall of sound himself, it was probably for the best.
Read 2020
**
A fitting title for such an ugly tale. It would have at least got clever points if the author had been able to resist explaining his own symbolism towards the end.
Read 2020
**
Half the length of the standard Dark Horse serial, the clockwork plotting shows through more when it's compressed. Our hero getting emasculated by a spunky, pregnant dame is at least something different before the customary astounding supernatural denouement, brushed off like he sees that sort of thing every day, since he does.
Read 2023
***
Genuinely informative, I don't know whether it's a coincidence that she just started playing Sonic games.
Read 2019*****
Like H. G. Wells' time traveller, if his machine glitched, sit comfortably and observe the same patch of ground fourth-dimensionally at various points from 3,000,500,000 BCE to 22,175 CE (with disproportionate stops in the 20th and early 21st centuries, as is often the way with random time travel). Marvel at the coincidences and contrasts and wonder what it could all mean, or just flip through to enjoy the colours.
Read 2021
**
I felt I had what it takes to give each stick drawing the attention it deserves if they were simply printed in sequence on the same page, but the shockingly wasteful design at least makes it a functional if cumbersome short story flipbook.
Faves: 'Three Friends,' 'Knife Fork Spoon Love Triangle,' 'Mountain, Cloud, Tree, Flag, Man, Sun.'
Read 2021
****
I'm not sure how this transcends the horizons of a guide, unless it's by comparison to the 12-page Pitkin guide you'd get for the same price, but there's enough timeless information outside of the inevitably hopelessly obsolete business directory to make this indispensable on our first family outing to the nearest city worth visiting. When we're actually allowed.
Read 2020
****
The kind of flawed series that's best served by an unauthorised, opinionated guide (or maybe a blog if you're not stuck in your '90s childhood), this was a trip down the memory wormhole that gives credit where due, but doesn't have to pretend to find Neelix tolerable. As is customary for unofficial guides, it's missing the final year. This is fine with me, since I'd abandoned ship by that point too.
Read 2024
***
Nice colours. Was Moodycorn™ taken or something?
Read 2021
****
I'd never thought to bother with what seemed like a reasonable cash-in, but the inclusion of another short Gaiman/McKean tale and running commentary from the author make it a valuable appendix to the greatest story ever told.
Read 1991, re-read 1996, 2022
***
I always felt this was the lesser counterpart of the dragon book, its own heavyhanded message not having the same eloquence and banking on notoriety with an edgy ending, but there's an imaginative roleplay alternative that didn't occur to me at five.
Read 2023–24
***
An iconic standalone story of individuality and diversity, inevitably stretched to diminishing returns.
Read 1996
***
Not the most engaging trivia compendium, but I probably picked up some bits and pieces when going through improvising a "silly story" based on the drawings and getting in trouble with my Nana when I let a swear slip out.
Read 2021
***
I hadn't checked the back of the book to discover that it was another upside-down front, so meeting in the middle was a nice surprise that probably impressed me more than it did her. A cute one, but didn't stay in her thoughts like Bobo.
Read 2022
***
An unconvincing fluffy monster tries his best to scare, despite unsupportive mates. She got the joke, maybe she's ready for Garth Marenghi.
Read 2024
***
A nice idea for future activities, if a bit homeworky. Help them out with some RPG random dice tables if they get stuck.
Read 2019***
I don't normally read true crime – the world's bleak enough generally without making myself paranoid – but reading that the self-described obessed amateur sleuth died so close to the finish line was the extra context that nudged me (even if her death wasn't related to the case, because real life isn't as good as stories). It doesn't glamourise the prolific rotter as much as I imagine these things normally do, but it all gets a bit technical and boring after a while.
Read 2024
**
Cracking open another completely different series about girls riding magical talking unicorns at book 12, because she judges them by the cover. There isn't a great deal of continuity baggage to worry about.
Read 2022
*
God, it sounds hard to be a princess. You have my sympathy.
Read 2020
****
Smarter than the average baby book, this is the usual 21st-century advice backed up by reliable studies and evolutionary biology. We'll see how things turn out.
Read 2020
**
There aren't many layers to this simple story, and the themes and compositions aren't so subtle that they need pointing out, but providing the historical and cultural context probably helps if you're on the fence about its classic status. I found it quite a chore to sit through, but it's stayed in the memory.
Read 2021
***
The tramp and his most serious silliness are examined in their crazy context. The standard scene by scene breakdown is more justified when they're near-silent vignettes. Complete with deleted scenes and archive talking heads, this is all you could ask from a worthwhile documentary.
Read 2024
***
Standard metafiction given a horny juvenile nipple twist.
Read 2023
***
Did the trick as a recap at the end of her own bedtime routine, though she did have to go downstairs to retrieve a cuddly.
Read 2022
**
A sensitive duck and his colour-coded mates go for an emotional picnic. It probably takes the familiarity of re-reading to empathise.
Read 2020
**
The outdoor shots of doomed architecture are peaceful in their gloomy industrial oppression, but the vacant interiors have a misanthropic sense of rapture about them.
Read 2020
**
Likely the 33⅓ book that has the least to do with the featured album (though there are other contenders), it's instead a Decemberist's photographic nostalgia about growing up as a teenage rock fan in the '80s. He could've claimed any number of albums under this vague umbrella, so bad luck for Replacements fans, I guess.
Read 2020
***
The author admits his anxiety about writing a whole (quite short) book about one album, then realises he can use half of it on the band biography before unleashing the lifelong fan's obsessive analysis.
Read 1997
***
Before I started secondary school, my mum got this out of the library for me and told me to read it for my own good. Naturally, I got started devouring this useful and exciting information straight away, even if I pretended not to be every time she checked up.
William Messner-Loebs, Dan Barry and Mike Richardson, from a story by Hal Barwood and Noah Falstein, Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis
**
I'm not a fan of adaptations generally, whether it's a book being filmed or a point-and-click adventure game converted into a linear comic strip. The breakneck seaplaning of this efficient graphic walkthrough shows why the latter doesn't really work. Looks like I got almost half way back in the day.
John Metcalfe, The Feasting Dead
***
Exhumed from the Arkham House archive, this vampiric ghost story is billed as a criminally overlooked horror classic. That's going a bit far.
If it was bundled with other novellas and short stories in an anthology of obscurities, there's a good chance it'd be one of the stand-outs. If it had been adapted for a murky seventies TV anthology, it'd be fondly remembered. But as a stand-alone volume, it doesn't do much to justify a place on your classics shelf.
Read 2022
**
Bear Hunt turns out to be more public domain than I thought. It was an autumn book.
Read 2015
When an author, band or other artist you want to like makes you feel inadequate with their dense, intimidating works, it can be therapeutic to track down their obscure early stuff and pretend to scoff at its derivative amateurishness. There are a lot of similarities to Gaiman's (and Henry's) Neverwhere here, and it is excessively mired in poo, wee and bin bags like he's trying to weed out the pussies, but the author's distinctive style is all there. Personally, as someone who repeatedly watched that Ninja Turtles episode with the Rat King on video, it's nice to have a British version.
China Miéville, Perdido Street StationRead 2015
***
Maybe Gene Wolfe had the right idea after all, splitting his epic novel into more easily digested chunks. This is supposedly Miéville's masterpiece, but it's heavy-going. I'm more at home outside the borders of his prime mythology, the page counts are friendlier there.
China Miéville, Emma Bircham and Max Schaefer, Looking for Jake and Other Stories
Read 2020****
Not as many stand-outs as his next collection, but still an engaging mix of moderately weird tales and successful and failed experiments.
Faves: 'Entry Taken from a Medical Encyclopaedia,' 'Different Skies,' The Tain.
Worsties: 'An End to Hunger,' ''Tis the Season,' 'On The Way to the Front.'
Faves: 'Entry Taken from a Medical Encyclopaedia,' 'Different Skies,' The Tain.
Worsties: 'An End to Hunger,' ''Tis the Season,' 'On The Way to the Front.'
China Miéville, The City & the City
Read 2015
*****
Read 2016
*****
Miéville foregoes ingenious sideways worlds to tell this tentacular tale. It's Lovecraft done as a Dan Brown 'parody' that has its giant squid and eats it. I expect Hollywood will make an exciting movie out of it some day that completely misses the humour.
China Miéville, Three Moments of an Explosion: Stories
****
I think this is his second bag of bite-size fictions (28 pcs approx), so the focus is on completist quantity rather than optimised quality. A couple of them are incredible, but only a couple. Most of them are memorable. A few of them are needlessly cruel. Some of them even have an actual message behind them, beyond being unsettling for the fun of it. I don't understand all of them, but that's my problem.
Faves: 'Polynia' (especially), 'The Dowager of Bees,' 'The Rabbet.'
Worsties: 'The Crawl,' 'Escapee,' 'Listen the Birds' (brief and comparatively pointless).
Faves: 'Polynia' (especially), 'The Dowager of Bees,' 'The Rabbet.'
Worsties: 'The Crawl,' 'Escapee,' 'Listen the Birds' (brief and comparatively pointless).
Read 2022
**
An interesting but trite curio, the brief comics continuity between the film and the TV franchise takes some inspiration from Bill McCay's thoughtful literary sequels, when it's not content to be a kids' dumb action comic.
Read 2015
**
I didn't expect much from a series called ZombieWorld, of which this might be the first part (I'm not going to delve any deeper). But even what we do get in a stingy 60-something comic pages between introductions and concept sketches could have been more impressive. It's really Pat McEown's book – Mike Mignola only did the cover and vague plotting – and for some reason he opted to draw the whole thing in a faux-naïve Tin Tin style that the story isn't light or self-parodying enough to suit. An indulgent Mignola solo treatment doubtless would have been more interesting, but he couldn't be bothered.
Mike Mignola, The Amazing Screw-on Head and Other Curious Objects
***
A short feature presentation and five further vignettes from the man behind Hellboy, which I'd never spared a thought for before but will now have to give a try. If I was already into this guy, I probably would have had more fun with this strange side project of steampunk indulgence, but the tales are all too short and sometimes pointless. One of them was seemingly written by his seven-year-old daughter, which is cute.
Anna Milbourne, John Butler and Brian Voakes, Baby Animals Jigsaw Book
Read 2020
***
I'd been wondering how these worked: extra thick pages. After reading descriptions of different Usborne jigsaw books having puzzles with a whopping two pieces, I figured this would be the same, only to be presented with a slightly more complex puzzle with unreliable guide art that even took me a while. And second-hand, so an inevitable missing piece.
Read 2023
**
I felt these required more of a disclaimer than her usual fantasy reading. At least they have samey puzzles at the end.
Anna Milbourne, Simona Dimitri and Stephanie Fizer Coleman, Peep Inside the Forest / A Bird's Nest
***
Getting a bit more advanced with ecology than what animal's hiding in the tree, but the education bored her. Inception-style layered flaps haven't been a novelty since Oh Dear!
Read 2023
***
A nice new old story for her, now she's finally sick of Rapunzel.
Read 2023
**
Explores the racial superiority of pink equines over brown.
Read 2023
**
The incomplete, derivative saga of tramp Jesus and His inexplicably Jonathan Ross-faced adversary.
Read 2019
***
Song-by-song analysis seems to be regarded as uncouth by hipper music chroniclers, but it's handy for listening along and increasing your appreciation of underappreciated, oft-plagiarised and subtly satirical works.
Read 2020
***
Most notable as the progenitor of The Dark Knight and Ninja Turtles, Miller's cross-cultural cyberpunk revenge fable was excessively violent and weird for this wuss.
Frank Miller, Batman: The Dark Knight (a.k.a. The Dark Knight Returns)
Read 2014, re-read 2019*****
Like many people, this gritty repilot–finale almost half a century on is the earliest Batman I've read, so I don't know if Miller was the first to shine a Bat Signal on the unhealthy psychology of the character and his rotten domain, but it would take some topping. This solo album may have been safely quarantined to a separate continuity to avoid upsetting the regulars, but the well was irrevocably poisoned. A vicariously exciting event for mainstream 80s comics and a masterpiece of the form.
Frank Miller and David Mazzucchelli, Batman: Year One
Read 2019****
Having impressed with his apocalyptic finale, Miller's permitted to corrupt the proper continuity with a grim-80s retcon of Batman's beginning, mercifully skipping over the boring bildungsroman to get straight to the action. A super-serious treatment of costumed children's characters risks self-parodying as much as the 60s Batman in its own way, but the parallel focus on Jim Gordon fighting corruption keeps things respectably mature.
M. T. Miller, Risen
Read 2016
***
This is straight-up dystopian fantasy, not a cautionary tale or serious literature to unpick. More Mad Max than The Road, with a comedy amputee sidekick, cyberpunk nun and hillbilly cannibals thrown in for good measure. What it resembles most is a video game, as our stock warrior character tears through legions of identical enemies and picks up advice from NPCs before taking on this book's boss: the big, bad Boneslinger.
Mark Alan Miller, Hellraiser: The Toll
**
I knew I was in store for mediocrity when padding out this month's page count with an insubstantial interquel. Written by Clive's frequent collaborator, who writes the stories he can't be arsed to, this would have made more sense as a comic miniseries than a novella. But if sense has prevailed, an extracurricular bridge between The Hellbound Heart and The Scarlet Gospels needn't have existed at all.
Read 2024
**
Not terrible, until it sputters and dies along with the enthusiasm. Could even have made a viable charity special, back when its specific parody was a bit less niche.
Read 2022
*
21st-century Thomas has usurped Peppa as the current breakfast favourite. At least you can't hear him on the page, though I confess I caught myself doing the voice.
Read 2020
****
Finding the humour in bloody awful times, or when too elusive, making it up. I need to get around to The Goon Show one of these decades.
Read 2020
***
This Gothic dystopian sci-fantasy saga of an ambiguously benevolent omnipotent armoured goat mage and his space speedboat was eerily familiar. Possibly a preincarnation memory from towards the end of my previous life, or I could just be thinking of Warhammer 40,000, which is a complete rip-off.
Read 2022
***
More autobiographical sketches from Christopher Robin's upbringing, in and out of imagined imaginings. Pretty adorable for parents, but not really ones to read aloud, except very selectively. Nowadays, I suppose his childhood would be invasively streamed on YouTube.
Faves: Lines and Squares, Halfway Down
Read 2021
****
Private stories from father to son, made public to shame other parents into raising our game. Properly funny too, I should have been reading these instead of Noddy.
Read 2022
**
Either the magic wore out or my patience did.
Faves: The Charcoal Burner, Waiting at the Window
Read 2022
***
Duller than the first book, largely for its determination to establish a new breakout character, though this seems to be where most references and adaptations come from, so maybe people like it for the memes.
Read 2022
****
She likes flicking through the classics for the illustrations, so here you go. A stage too advanced for a 'My First' label, especially the ones that are mostly background, but that should give it some longevity.
Read 2005, re-read 2006, 2012, 2021
*****
One of the greatest things in the English language (I don't speak other languages), even if I need annotations to make it through Milton's epic "poem" (the lines don't go all the way to the end, but it's not stifled by rhyme). I was so chuffed to find something I liked so much in the syllabus that I ended up writing three essays on it for different modules over the couse of a year. Saved having to read other stuff.
Read 2005, re-read 2021
**
Rather than the university-recommended edition of Paradise Lost, I upgraded to one (Christopher Ricks ed.) that attached Milton's short sequel and retained the original, archaic spelling, which as you can imagine made me look very clever when quoting in essays. I read the disappointing sequel out of interest, since it didn't come up academically. There's not that much to it.
Read 2012
**
My travel Paradise Lost/Regain'd included this supplementary material, so I gave it a read on a flight once. I was pretty lost without the benefit of a lecture or Wikipedia to hand, but the language was very nice.
Read 2023
**
Frivolous, sizeist filler.
Read 2019
***
An over-educated flâneuse has a day out in Paris and thinks way too much. The Waste Land Lite, it's a great introduction to this smart-arse movement, its undeserved obscurity in the canon doubtless due to a limited print run from Virginia Woolf's Hogarth Press. Well, you wouldn't want everyone knowing where you get your crazy ideas from.
David Mitchell, Ghostwritten
Read 2019****
If I was reading the David Mitchell (Not That One) bibliography in the correct order, and not backtracking from the bestseller like some sort of mainstream pleb, you'd be spared the belittling comparison to a less majestic Cloud Atlas. But that was my main takeaway from this similarly themed anthology cunningly disguised as a novel, connecting disparate people, places and times with the ricketiest of bridges. Maybe he'll eventually have the attention span to write a novel that follows a single coherent narrative. That'd be a shame.
David Mitchell, Cloud AtlasRead 2019
*****
The brilliance of this novel is in the structure. What might otherwise have been a bizarre fix-up anthology contrasting historical pastiches and farce with earnest sci-fi instead becomes a compelling chain letter across ages with thoughtful parallels and multiple climaxes. I didn't love all the parts, but I loved the whole. Give me a playful structure and I'm anyone's.
Read 2020
***
"Books are gay."
While neon American teenagers were getting up to Stranger Things-style sci-fi adventures, their English counterparts were watching telly and failing to get off with girls. I don't know how much of this is fiction or memoir. I can't even remember which are my own memories any more.
Read 2020
**
David Mitchell has certainly done his research into Japan and the Dutch East India Company at the turn of the 19th century. Well done. I'll stick to his supernatural works over his grim realist horrors.
Read 2020
***
I'd been disappointed that Mitchell's novels post Cloud Atlas weren't the lesser retreads of that style I'd been expecting, but he got there in the end. Omitting the pastiche aspect, and taking place over a less impressive timeline with more explicit connections, this ends up being the more coherent novel. Never mind.
Read 2020
****
The Bone Clocks didn't do much for me, partly for being so long-winded. Its more concise sequel/reworking is a much better version of the same thing, told as a haunted house horror anthology over five decades.
Read 2013
***
I got off to a bad start with David Mitchell, unreasonably holding it against the Bruiser performer that he happened to have the same face as someone I didn't really like at school. After I left school, and saw him in better things, I grew to appreciate him as a national treasure. This book was fine, I guess, but he's not as good when there aren't other people around to incredulously react to.
Read 2021
**
A young penguin goes on a dangerous Antarctic tour by mistake. All the animals were familiar from our Attenborough books she likes to flick through, but an illustrated elephant seal yawn is never going to be as hilarious as a photo.
Read 2024
****
The movie she has on tap and can watch any time, now partially in screencap comic form. She enjoyed reading along anyway, once I remembered that manga reads from right to left.
Read 2021
****
There's enough background, extracurricular detail and technical commentary to make this more than a load of pretty pastoral-fantastical art, but it's got that going for it too.
Read 2021
***
Chronological concepts and cels to compare and contrast with commentary, but there's nothing too enlightening this time around. The surrounding chapters are dull technical affairs that might be useful if your dream is to be an animator 30 years ago.
Read 2018
****
I've always liked the episode, which is just as entertainingly over-complicated as a non-linear time travel story with three protagonists who are all the same person interacting with himselves should be (not counting his further guest roles and cameos). The book doesn't tamper much, but it's all a bit slower so you can really take it in. Of course, it does have the additional comical complication that you can't see or hear the actors to distinguish between Doctors, but it's a safe bet that anyone reading this has watched it enough times to know who's Who. And if not, the blurring together is sort of the whole point.
Steven, bless him, clearly has anxiety that he's gone too far, writing explanatory in-character introductions to every single chapter that are unnecessary and slightly patronising, but he makes up for it with some nicely pretentious literary wank and cheeky gags that are only as canonical as you want irascible fans to be forced to accept them to be.
Steven, bless him, clearly has anxiety that he's gone too far, writing explanatory in-character introductions to every single chapter that are unnecessary and slightly patronising, but he makes up for it with some nicely pretentious literary wank and cheeky gags that are only as canonical as you want irascible fans to be forced to accept them to be.
Read 2021
**
I had years to find the D'aulaires' book for a good price, but decided to save myself the effort and go with a cheaper and inevitably duller substitute, thriftily combining archaic public domain text with public domain art. It's not child-friendly, but I can get the gist and spin some bedtime stories.
Lydia Monks, Mouse's Big Day / Frog Hops Off! / Rabbit Races Ahead
Read 2022
***
A cute cast, useful messages and simple stories she unfailingly wants to play herself immediately after.
Read 2021
*
Selected sequence of splendid schooldays. Was this supposed to be the good bit? I'll read her some chick books, but I have my limits.
Read 2021
**
Pisses about with the format as successfully as they did on TV (personal favourite being the blood-stained Teach Yourself Surgery page), with commendably little rehashing, it's just a shame that the actual content is so unreadable. Notably ruder than they could get away with on telly, but I prefer them reined in and cheeky.
Read 2020
****
"Found them? The cocoanut is a tropical fruit. It's not indigenous to these temperate areas."This mandatory tie-in book turned out to be surprisingly candid, even throwing in receipts at the end to show off what they achieved on a shoestring. An incomplete and quite insane early draft script is presented for our consideration (all mentions of horses scribbled out as they realised their limitations) along with a later shooting script (still with handwritten improvements and entire scenes excised). It would've blown my mind if I hadn't known about most of this already, but there were plenty of unseen gags and alternate dialogue to enjoy. They actually find the Grail for one, appropriately anticlimactically.
Monty Python, The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus: All the Words
*****
Silly as it is by design, I seriously put this Bible-sized scriptbook up there with the finest works in literature. Or failing that, at least one of the best desert island books. I'd only seen a single episode of Flying Circus when I dipped in and out as a teenager, and lots of sketches turned out to be funnier in print and imagination than on the screen. Reading and visualising 'Confuse-a-Cat,' in particular, almost made me wet myself, but on TV it just looks amateurish.
Read 1997
***
I'd seen the other three Python films, but hadn't seen or heard of this one when I saw this book in the library, so this was how I experienced it for the first time. I found it more disconcerting than hilarious, but I appreciated the tits.
Read 2022
***
She's already got a few of these, but I liked its categorisation now that we're starting Daddy School.
Read 2021
**
A favourite writer of my favourite writers, I've wanted to crack open Moorcock for a while, but bloodthirsty sci-fantasy just isn't my thing, as my lack of Warhammer probably attests. Maybe he wrote some funny ones?
Read 2018**
After experimental, eccentric is one of my favourite flavours of Who, but it's a tricky tightrope. I enjoyed it when Douglas Adams wrote silly space pirates in the seventies (complete with robot parrot and LEGO® Technic eyepatch), but Moorcock's takes on anachronistic buccaneers and Wodehousian toffs come off like weak homages and don't give me much of an idea of what his own style might be like. I don't imagine many young readers made it through too many chapters, I would have called it a day too if it hadn't been in low-effort audiobook form.
This was written with the then-current stars Matt Smith & Karen Gillan in mind, but if the author didn't repeatedly perv over Amy Pond's beauty every time she stepped onto the page, you wouldn't know which iteration of the stock characters he was doing. When he even remembers that they're there.
This was written with the then-current stars Matt Smith & Karen Gillan in mind, but if the author didn't repeatedly perv over Amy Pond's beauty every time she stepped onto the page, you wouldn't know which iteration of the stock characters he was doing. When he even remembers that they're there.
Alan Moore and artists, Alan Moore's Shocking Futures
***
A non-comprehensive curation of fun primordial shorts, advance self-parodies and more dubious works. I sometimes think I missed out on 2000 AD as a kid, but I was content with anthropomorphic cartoon heroes.
Faves: 'They Sweep the Spaceways,' 'The Hyper-Historic Headbang'
Alan Moore and artists, Alan Moore's Twisted Times
****
Much stronger and more ambitious outings than the miscellaneous Future Shocks, the brief saga of Abelard Snazz and comically convoluted Time Twisters hint at greatness to come. It's a shame he didn't write more for kids, it makes for a refreshing reprieve from all the rape.
Faves: Time Twisters
Alan Moore, Garry Leach and Alan Davis, Miracleman, Vol. 1: A Dream of Flying
Read 2015****
It's no Swamp Thing, but Alan Moore's low-profile British breakthrough made for a freestyle proving ground for his subsequent American success, as he updated a different ridiculous superhero from the naive '50s to the miserable '80s and actually made it worth reading. True, it relies on the world-wise modern characters scoffing at the lame premise of the original to get us on board, but beyond the ribbing, it honours the stupid legacy without getting bogged down in vintage parodies as he would later.
Alan Moore and David Lloyd, V for Vendetta
****
I don't know if I made an unconscious decision to delay falling down the mature comics rabbit hole until the moment my literature degree finished, but that's what happened. I'd read praise of Alan Moore for years from people I admired, and probably chose this one to start because it was the earliest certified classic. It didn't make the glowing impression that the likes of Watchmen, Swamp Thing and From Hell did subsequently. It even mildly annoyed me at times. But I kept going.
Read 2020
***
Fresh from reimagining Marvelman, Alan Moore had his wicked way with another obscure and rather ridiculous hero, with less gusto. It's got the epic classical aspiration, sci-fi/magic dichotomy, madness and satire of his masterpieces, but turns out more a spattered mess. Its saving grace is a relentless killing machine that's properly chilling and makes the Terminator look like C-3PO.
Read 2007
***
Told to basically just do E.T., the young Alan Moore didn't characteristically turn this mediocre brief into an unexpected modern classic, he just set it in Birmingham and had unemployed punks gripe about Thatcher.
Alan Moore and artists, Miracleman, Book Two: The Red King Syndrome
****
This second chapter in the increasingly dark Übermensch saga continues to blend gritty and sometimes shocking realism with high-octane escapism like a proto-Watchmen, but it's mainly interesting to see The Original Writer pushing things to see how much he can get away with. Rather a lot, it turns out, especially after it moved to an independent American publisher.
Read 2008
**
This bloodthirsty duo gets a lot of love from readers of a specific demographic. Maybe you need to have been raised on 2000 AD to feel it.
Alan Moore and Steve Parkhouse, The Complete Bojeffries Saga
Read 2018
***
Moore's miscellany will keep me going for a few decades yet. This is one of the odder odds and sods, his take on an Addams/Munsters macabre sitcom that starts out brilliantly but runs out of ideas after the introductory tale. The remainder is mostly stock gags and a weird musical, padded out with mock activity pages to justify releasing the paperback.
It's a shame Alan's enthusiasm fizzled out, but it's not like he wasn't busy revolutionising the medium and churning out loads of classics at the time, so it's forgiven.
It's a shame Alan's enthusiasm fizzled out, but it's not like he wasn't busy revolutionising the medium and churning out loads of classics at the time, so it's forgiven.
Alan Moore, Steve Bissette and Rick Veitch, Swamp Thing, Vol. 1: Saga of the Swamp Thing
****
Early editions smartly skipped Moore's actual lacklustre debut so we could start strong out of the gate with one of the defining examples of how to reboot an ailing property in your image. Alternating between signature tales of occult horror with unconventional eroticism and more conventional superhero fights that insist on drafting from the obscure recesses of the DC canon, the transitional series is mainly notable at this point for being so massively influential.
Alan Moore and Ian Gibson, The Ballad of Halo Jones, Book One
Read 2007****
Alan Moore's feminist future fable was an antidote to the testosterone-fuelled violence that filled most of 2000 AD's pages. This first of three collections published by Titan reprints the first ten-part story that introduces Halo’s origins, fittingly in a floating district shaped like a hoop, and provides her motivations for leaving the Earth behind and heading out to space as a lowly stewardess to face whatever the rest of the stories will throw at her..
Alan Moore, Stephen Bissette, John Totleben and Shawn McManus, Swamp Thing, Vol. 2: Love and Death
Read 2007, re-read 2014, 2017****
Swamp Thing's journey of self-discovery and acceptance parallels the comic's own mossy growth, which is either ingenious metafiction or just how the writing process works. The final issue and annual are among the best of the series, but the middle sags as Moore falls into repetition already and arguably goes too dark. There's also 'Pog,' whatever you make of that.
Alan Moore and Ian Gibson, The Ballad of Halo Jones, Book Two
Read 2007***
Moore concedes to add more action to his satire and to tone down the strangeness somewhat. That fortunatrly doesn't mean transforming the protagonist into Judy Dredd: Space Warrior Whore, but I didn't enjoy the odd clashing of action with tedium in Book 2 as much as the more focused non-events of its predecessor.
Read 2007, re-read 2014, 2017
*****
Swamp Thing's death and rebirth and the arrival of enigmatic pimp John Constantine herald the golden era of the comic, swapping cackling supervillains for aquatic punk vampires, menstrual werewolves and vengeful slave zombies in a classic gothic eco horror rom com run.
Read 2007
****
Killing Joke alone gets full marks. The other two thirds drag the overall quality down, but upgrading to the expanded anthology won't hurt. His Superman stories are fun.
Alan Moore, Stephen Bissette, John Totleben and Stan Woch, Swamp Thing, Vol. 4: A Murder of Crows
Read 2007, re-read 2014, 2017
****
Alan Moore and Ian Gibson, The Ballad of Halo Jones, Book Three
Read 2007
****
Alan Moore, Rick Veitch, John Totleben and Alfredo Alcala, Swamp Thing, Vol. 5: Earth to Earth
Read 2007, re-read 2014, 2017
*****
Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, Watchmen
Read 2007, re-read 2014
*****
Read 2007, re-read 2021
Alan Moore, Rick Veitch, John Totleben, Tom Yeats and Alfredo Alcala, Swamp Thing, Vol. 6: Reunion
Read 2007, re-read 2014, 2017
****
Alan Moore and John Totleben, Miracleman Book Three: Olympus
Read 2019
***
Alan Moore and Brian Bolland, Batman: The Killing Joke
Read 2007, re-read 2014, 2019
*****
Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell, From Hell
Read 2007
*****
Alan Moore and Melinda Gebbie, Lost Girls
Read 2007
*
Alan Moore and Oscar Zárate, A Small Killing
Alan Moore and a galaxy of greats, The Worm: The Longest Comic Strip in the World
Alan Moore, Rick Veitch, Steve Bissette and Jimmy Valentino, 1963
Read 2015
****
Faves: 'It Came from... Higher Space!', 'Flipsville.'
Worsties: 'When Wakes the War-Beast!', 'Double-Deal in Dallas!'
Alan Moore and artists, Supreme: The Story of the Year
Read 2008
*****
Alan Moore, Voice of the Fire
Alan Moore and artists, Judgment Day
Read 2020
***
Alan Moore, Michael Lopez and Al Rio, Voodoo: Dancing in the Dark
Alan Moore and artists, Supreme: The Return
Read 2008
***
Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 1
Read 2008
***
Alan Moore, Chris Sprouse, Art Adams, Jerry Ordway, Dave Gibbons and Gary Frank, Tom Strong: Collected Edition, Book 1
Alan Moore, Gene Ha and Zander Cannon, Top 10
Read 2019
****
Alan Moore, Kevin Nowlan, Rick Veitch, Jim Baikie, Melinda Gebbie and Hilary Barta, Tomorrow Stories, Vol. 1
Read 2015
***
Faves: Jack B. Quick: Boy Inventor.
Worsties: The rest.
Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 2
Read 2008
****
Alan Moore, Antony Johnston and Jacen Burrows, Alan Moore's The Courtyard
Read 2016
****
Providence renewed my faith in Alan Moore's magic powers, and I was surprised that his Cthulhu canon stretched back more than 20 years. A nice, self-contained sinister short, in prose or comic as per your poison, this congealed over time into the prologue to something greater.
Alan Moore, Zander Cannon and Andrew Currie, Smax
Read 2015
****
Alan Moore and Gene Ha, Top 10: The Forty-Niners
Read 2019
***
I've not read Top 10 and don't really know what it is, but I'm going to assume this sepia prequel has more in common with the series proper than the barmy Pratchettesque fairy tale spin-off I read earlier. It doubtless would have been less confusing if I'd read things in the right order, but the deep-end discombobulation turned out to be the best part.
Once that entertaining shock wore off and I got comfortable in the purpose-built city for science heroes, robots, mad scientists, miscellaneous supernatural creatures and other embarrassing war veterans America no longer has any use for, the sombre and meaningful story underneath the pulp silliness was less interesting.
Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Black Dossier
Read 2019
****
Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 3: Century
Read 2015
****
Alan Moore and Jacen Burrows, Neonomicon
Read 2016
****
I preferred the historical preenactments of Providence to this modern-day twist on the Mythos, which I treated more as supplementary background reading, but it's all inextricably tangled up in the same tentacles. One scene goes too far even for Alan Moore. You'll know the one if you've read it.
Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Nemo
Read 2019
***
The League is the cleverest pop culture mash-up there is, pulling together characters, settings and gadgets from the obscure recesses of the public domain and cautiously alluding to those still under copyright in adventures that capture the simple enjoyment of the styles it's pastiching. There was no creative decline, I just got a bit weary of it by the end.
Alan Moore and Jacen Burrows, Providence
Read 2016
*****
I'd got used to the idea that Alan Moore's comics heyday was behind him and that there wouldn't be a serious contender for his all-time best released in my reading lifetime, since I didn't have the good sense to be born a decade or so sooner. That's why I didn't even bother checking out his latest smart-arse literary/magickal indulgence when it began its eldritch trickle last year, having not made it very far into his previous Lovecraft riffs (clearly because they were epilogues to a main feature that hadn't been written yet).
But part way through the first issue (every panel dense with symbolism and references that I was confident I was only picking up on 20% of at most – fortunately, there's an OCD guide), I knew I was on to something special.
When the back pages offered a second, more intimate take on events via our closeted hero's journal, I felt the stirrings of an addiction that's normally reserved for the season finale of an ace TV show, however much I try to pretend I'm literary. After all, there were 11 more issues where that came from, and things had barely even started to take their inevitable plunge to the Weird. Just how good was this going to get?
It was threatening to topple From Hell from its perch as Moore's finest until the Neonomicon reprise let it down, so it's still among my favourite graphic novels. I suppose most of the credit should really go to Lovecraft, since he originally wrote the stories this is based around, but he was just laying the groundwork for this definitive mash-up cover version.
Alan Moore, Jerusalem
Read 2018
*****
Goes on a bit.
Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 4: The Tempest
Read 2019
***
Allan Moore, The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
Read 2020
****
Allan F. Moore, Jethro Tull's Aqualung
Read 2020
***
Clement Clarke Moore and Miriam Bos, First Stories: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas
Inga Moore, Moose's Book Bus
Marianne Moore, Observations
Read 2019
***
Moore observed more of the world than her more bookish peers, turning to the animal kingdom over mythology most of the time when she wants an enigmatic metaphor, but she still peppers her aesthetically-sculpted stanzas with quotes as mysterious as the rest of this deceptively stream-of-consciousness topiary. I didn't give it the time and attention it deserved, but I like her way with words.
Natalia Moore, Stephanie Drake and Jenny Cox, Preschool Shapes Sticker Book
Paul Moran, Jonny Marx and Sophie Shrey, Where's the Unicorn?: A Magical Search-and-Find Book
Read 2022
Richard K. Morgan, Altered Carbon
Read 2020
**
Sally Morgan, Pets Plus: Gerbils and Hamsters
****
Dave Morris, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles: Red Herrings & Sky High
Read 1991
**
Dave Morris, Knightmare: Fortress of Assassins
Read 2018
****
Dave Morris, Knightmare: The Sorcerer's Isle
Read 2020
***
Dave Morris, Knightmare: The Forbidden Gate
Read 2020
****
Dave Morris, Knightmare: The Dragon's Lair
Read 1994, re-read 2014
***
Heart of Ice was one of my best gamebook experiences (fittingly in digital form), so it was about time I got around to another in the self-important series, determined by eBay value. This would be my first of many poor choices.
Dave Morris, Virtual Reality Adventure: Heart of Ice
Read 2019
*****
Dave Morris and Jamie Thomson, The Crystal Maze Adventure Gamebook
Read 2015
****
Johnny Morris, The Animal Roundabout
Jonathan Morris, Doctor Who: Touched by an Angel
Grant Morrison and Steve Yeowell, Zenith Book One: Tygers
Read 2020
****
Grant Morrison, Chas Truog, Doug Hazlewood and Tom Grummett, Animal Man, Vol. 1
Read 2008
***
Grant Morrison and Dave McKean, Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth
Read 2019
***
Grant Morrison and Klaus Janson, Batman: Gothic (a.k.a. Gothic: A Romance)
Read 2019
****
Grant Morrison, Steve Yeowell, Jill Thompson and Dennis Cramer, The Invisibles, Vol. 1: Say You Want a Revolution
Read 2016
****
Grant Morrison, Jill Thompson, Chris Weston, John Ridgway, Steve Parkhouse and Paul Johnson, The Invisibles, Vol. 2: Apocalipstick
Read 2016
***
Grant Morrison, Steve Yeowell, Jill Thompson and Dennis Cramer, The Invisibles, Vol. 3: Entropy in the U.K.
Read 2016
****
Grant Morrison, Phil Jimenez and John Stokes, The Invisibles, Vol. 4: Bloody Hell in America
Read 2016
**
Grant Morrison, Phil Jimenez and John Stokes, The Invisibles, Vol. 5: Counting to None
Read 2016
***
Grant Morrison, Chris Weston and Ivan Reis, The Invisibles, Vol. 6: Kissing Mister Quimper
Read 2016
***
Grant Morrison, Philip Bond, Warren Pleece, Sean Phillips, Jay Stephens, Frank Quitely and Steve Yeowell, The Invisibles, Vol. 7: The Invisible Kingdom
Read 2016
***
"This started out as a simple investigation into a haunted toilet and now we're knee-deep in royal scandal and five-hundred-year-old conspiracies."
Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely, We3
Read 2022
Simon A. Morrison, Roxy Music's Avalon
Bob Mortimer, And Away...
Bob Mortimer, The Satsuma Complex
Ian Mortimer, The Time Traveller's Guide to Medieval England: A Handbook for Visitors to the Fourteenth Century
Read 2019
****
Ian Mortimer, The Time Traveller's Guide to Elizabethan England: A Handbook for Visitors to the Sixteenth Century
Read 2019
****
Ian Mortimer, The Time Traveller's Guide to Restoration Britain: Life in the Age of Samuel Pepys, Isaac Newton and The Great Fire of London
Read 2019
****
Ian Mortimer, The Time Traveller's Guide to Regency Britain
Dean Motter and Mark Askwith, The Prisoner: Shattered Visage
Read 2020
**
Diane Muldrow, Teletubbies: Who Spilled the Tubby Custard?
Joseph-Emile Muller and Hieronymus Bosch, Bosch
Martha Mumford and Laura Hughes, We're Going on a Treasure Hunt: A Lift-the-Flap Adventure
Jim Munroe, Angry Young Spaceman
Read 2007
**
Robert Munsch and Sheila McGraw, Love You Forever
Victoria Munson, My First Book of Nature: Mammals / Minibeasts
Haruki Murakami, Hear the Wind Sing
Read 2015
**
Haruki Murakami, Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World
Read 2015
***
Haruki Murakami, The Elephant Vanishes
Read 2020
***
Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
Read 2015
****
Haruki Murakami and Chip Kidd, The Strange Library
Read 2020
***
Haruki Murakami, 1Q84
Read 2020
****
Haruki Murakami, Colourless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage
Read 2015
***
Heidi Murkoff with Sharon Mazel, What to Expect the First Year: 3rd Edition
Read 2019
*****
Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel, What to Expect the Second Year: From 12 to 24 Months
Read 2020
*****
Jill Murphy, Peace at Last
Read 1990, re-read 2020, 2021
****
Jill Murphy, On the Way Home
Jill Murphy, Whatever Next
Jill Murphy, The Large Family: Five Stories in One
Jill Murphy, Meltdown!
Jill Murphy, Just One of Those Days
Alison Murray, The Little Green Hen
Diana Murray and Luke Flowers, Unicorn Day
Tara Murtha, Bobbie Gentry's Ode to Billie Joe
Read 2020
**
Jon J. Muth, Zen Shorts
Read 2020
***
Mike Myers and Robin Ruzan, Wayne's World: Extreme Close-Up
Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
Read 2016
****
Vladimir Nabokov, Pale Fire
Read 2015
***
Angela Nagle, Kill All Normies: Online Culture Wars from 4chan and Tumblr to Trump and the Alt-Right
Read 2019
***
Doug Naylor, Last Human
Read 1998, re-read 2018
Doug Naylor, Red Dwarf VIII: The Official Book
Read 2000
***
Chris Naylor-Ballesteros, Bella the Storyteller
Adam Nayman, It Doesn't Suck: Showgirls
Read 2020
***
Joe Nazzaro, The Making of Red Dwarf
Wilson Neate, Wire's Pink Flag
Read 2020
***
Jan Needle, The War of the Worms
Read 1996
**
Michael Alan Nelson, Greg Scott, Patrick McEvoy and Pablo Quiligotti, Fall of Cthulhu Omnibus
Read 2015
**
Sean Nelson, Joni Mitchell's Court and Spark
Read 2020
***
Larry Nemecek, Star Trek: The Next Generation Companion – Second Edition
Read 1997
***
Alex Niven, Oasis' Definitely Maybe
Read 2020
***
Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle, Inferno
Read 2019
**
Larry Niven, The Draco Tavern
Read 2018
**
David Nobbs, The Death of Reginald Perrin (a.k.a. The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin)
Read 2018
***
Reading the actual story and Reggie's selfish and thoughtless thought process, he comes off less favourably and it's a bit like being stuck with the unpleasant narrators of Lolita or American Psycho again. But funnier.
Susan Nobel and Diana Goldsborough, The Prisoner Puzzle
Read 2019
***
Kate Nolan and Violeta Dabija, Santa and the Elves
Clare Nina Norelli, Angelo Badalamenti's Soundtrack from Twin Peaks
Read 2019
***
Claire North, The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August
Read 2019
***
Ryan North and George Gipe, B^F: The Novelization of the Feature Film
Read 2015
*****
James G. Nourse, The Simple Solution to Rubik's Cube
Read 2014
****
The best selling of the various Rubik's rubrics published in 1981, to the point of being the best selling book generally that year, this is kindly aimed at non-mathematicians who are still prepared to learn some algebra. Features bonus puzzles that would impress your friends if they didn't likely have this book too.
B. J. Novak, The Book with No Pictures
Laura Numeroff and Felicia Bond, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie
***
Michael Nyman, Experimental Music: Cage and Beyond – Second Edition
Read 2016
**
Rockne S. O'Bannon, Farscape: Horizons
Dara O'Briain, Tickling the English
Read 2011
**
Flann O'Brien, The Third Policeman
Read 2018
****
Nicola O'Byrne, Bad Cat!
Colin Odell and Michelle Le Blanc, Studio Ghibli: The Films of Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata
Read 2020
***
Michael Okuda and Rick Sternbach, Star Trek: The Next Generation Technical Manual
Read 1997
***
Michael Okuda and Denise Okuda with Debbie Mirek and illustrators, The Star Trek Encyclopedia – A Reference Guide to the Future
Read 1998
***
Pete Olafson, The Morrowind Prophecies: Official Guide to the Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
Read 2015
**
Reggie Oliver, The Dreams of Cardinal Vittorini & Other Strange Stories
Read 2020
***
Fave: 'In Arcadia'
Reggie Oliver, Masques of Satan: Twelve Tales and a Novella
Kathleen Olmstead, The Untold History of Television: The X-Files
Read 2020
**
Jerry Oltion, Star Trek: The Captain's Table – Where Sea Meets Sky
Read 2018
****
Pocket Books' Star Trek paperback crossover event for 1998 involved sending each series' captain to the pub to relate a space shanty. I only read the Picard trezer-hunting one at the time, which was one of the few Trek novels on my bookshelf that I actually made it all the way through. This one appealed to me too, since I've always been fascinated by what might have been if the series' (great) original pilot had been better received and we'd got more of the dour and introspective Captain Pike.
It's probably the best Trek lit I've ever read, not that the bar's set particularly high there. This grim tale of cyborg space whale carnage would be out of place in any of the proper series (pre-Discovery, anyway), but it fits in nicely with this hypothetically darker lost era. Pike > Kirk
Uwe Ommer, Black Ladies
Read 2020
***
Art.
Uwe Ommer, Asian Ladies
Read 2020
***
Cosmopolitan sequel.
John J. Ordover, David Mack, Andrew Currie and Michael Collins, Star Trek: Divided We Fall
Read 2018
**
The third DS9/TNG crossover comic isn't a huge step above the other two, especially since it's all about the Trill. It's odd that one of Star Trek's most interesting species rarely made for good stories. The only thing that's even slightly interesting about it is that it's part of the Relaunch continuity, so a chance to see some characters who originated in the novels rendered as drawings. It was probably a big deal to some people.
Juan Ortiz, Star Trek: The Art of Juan Ortiz
Juan Ortiz, Star Trek: The Next Generation – The Art of Juan Ortiz
George Orwell, Animal Farm: A Fairy Story
Read 1998
***
George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-four
Read 2006
****
Will Osborne, 13 Ghosts: Strange But True Ghost Stories
Read 2019
***
Faves: 'The Ghost Who Carried a Coffin,' 'The Phantom of the German Submarine,' 'The Ghost in the Rattling Chains.'
Worsties: Most of them.
Ozzy Osbourne and Chris Ayres, I Am Ozzy
Read 2013
***
Katsuhiro Otomo, Akira: Book 1
Read 2014, re-read 2020
***
Chris Ott, Joy Division's Unknown Pleasures
Read 2020
***
Isabel Otter and Sophie Ledesma, Slide and Seek: Splish, Splash!
Isabel Otter and Sophie Ledesma, Touch, Feel and Reveal: Hello, Bee
Ovid, Metamorphoses
Read 2016
****
Yei Theodora Ozaki ed, Japanese Fairy Tales
Read 2015
***
Edward Packard, Choose Your Own Adventure #45: You Are a Shark
Read 2015
****
Read 2005
***
Terry Pratchett, Mort
Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
Read 2021
Terry Pratchett, Eric
Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
Read 2015
***
Terry Pratchett, Soul Music
Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times
Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
Terry Pratchett, A Slip of the Keyboard: Collected Non-Fiction
Read 2015
****
S. S. Prawer, Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht
Frann Preston-Gannon, Sloth Slept On
Roger Priddy, I Love Kittens
Roger Priddy, Baby's Treasure Hunt
Roger Priddy, My First Words
Bob Proehl, Flying Burrito Brothers' The Gilded Palace of Sin
Read 2020
**
Alf Prøysen, Mrs Pepperpot Turns Detective
Joe Pulizzi and Robert Rose, Killing Marketing: How Innovative Businesses Are Turning Marketing Cost Into Profit
Read 2020
***
Philip Pullman, Northern Lights
Read 2008, re-read 2012, 2019
*****
Philip Pullman, The Subtle Knife
Read 2008, re-read 2012, 2019
*****
Philip Pullman, The Amber Spyglass
Read 2009, re-read 2012, 2019
*****
Philip Pullman, Lyra's Oxford
Read 2019
***
Philip Pullman, Once Upon a Time in the North
Read 2019
****
Philip Pullman, The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ
Read 2015
**
Philip Pullman, The Collectors
Philip Pullman, La Belle Sauvage
Read 2019
***
I didn't get to experience His Dark Materials when I was the target age for it, growing up with the more blandly ecclesiastical Narnia books instead. But even having to read from outside the magic bubble, I found it a special and admirable series that I'll be sure to pass on.
This new trilogy was apparently long-awaited by people who think that expanding on completed works is a good idea, and it's as comparable to the beloved originals as prequel afterthoughts tend to be. It's nice to spend more time in the world of dæmons, but this new volume doesn't pull its considerable weight with fresh ideas of its own beyond lessons on indoctrination and thoughtcrime that would be more valuable if the main audience this time around wasn't the grown-up fan base.
Philip Pullman, The Secret Commonwealth
Read 2019
****
Philip Pullman, Serpentine
Philip Pullman, The Imagination Chamber: Cosmic Rays from Lyra's Universe
Russell Punter and Ag Jatkowska, Noah's Ark
Russell Punter and David Semple, Usborne Sound Books: Bug in a Rug
Russell Punter and David Semple, Usborne Phonics Readers: Unicorns in Uniforms
Russell Punter and Siân Roberts, Usborne Bug Tales: The Bug Who Wanted a Hug
Steve Purcell, The Collected Sam & Max: Surfin' the Highway
Howard Pyle, Pepper & Salt, or Seasoning for Young Folk
Thomas Pynchon, The Crying of Lot 49
Read 2007, re-read 2015, 2016
*****
Thomas Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow
Read 2015
****
Quark as told to Ira Stephen Behr and Robert Hewitt Wolfe, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Legends of the Ferengi
Read 1997-98
***
Tom Quinn and Ricky Leaver, Eccentric London
Read 2005
**
Bali Rai, Doctor Who: Rebellion on Treasure Island
Shubhra Ramineni, Entice With Spice: Easy Indian Recipes for Busy People
Read 2015
***
Lucian Randall, Disgusting Bliss: The Brass Eye of Chris Morris
Read 2015
***
Read 2022
Ian Rankin, Knots & Crosses
Read 2018
***
If the postgraduate Rankin had a premonition of how long his John Rebus series was going to last, he probably wouldn't have mined seemingly the whole backstory of the brooding inspector in his first outing. Those subsequent ones are also presumably less directly linked to the detective solving them, or he'd become a liability. And Edinburgh presumably calms down from its sensational spell as Europe's murder capital so readers don't feel increasingly alienated by the alternate reality setting.
I'm not the biggest fan of mudder mysteries, but it was alright. Though totally unsolvable until Rankin decides you can have the essential missing pieces now in that Agatha Christie way.
Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse
Read 2010
***
Robert Rankin, The Toyminator
Read 2014
**
Read 2023
Catherine Rayner, Iris and Isaac
Catherine Rayner, Mini and Hardly and the Big Adventure
Jacqueline Rayner, Doctor Who: Magic of the Angels
Tony Rayns, In the Mood for Love
Read 2020
**
Norman Redfern, Bugs Bunny in Broomstick Bunny
Read 1992
**
Norman Redfern and Arkadia, Biker Mice from Mars: Noisy Book
Read 1994
**
Janice G. Redish, Letting Go of the Words: Writing Web Content that Works, Second Edition
Read 2015
****
S. Alexander Reed and Philip Sandifer, They Might Be Giants' Flood
Read 2020
**
Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, Shooting Stars with Reeves and Mortimer
Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens with artists, The Art of Star Trek
Read 1999
*****
Judith & Garfield Reeves-Stevens, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Millennium, Book I – The Fall of Terok Nor
Read 2003
***
Camilla Reid and Ingela P. Arrhenius, Peekaboo Apple / Sun / Moon / Love / Chick / Etc.
Erich Maria Remarque, All Quiet on the Western Front
Read 2003
***
Gordon Rennie and Mark Harrison, Glimmer Rats
Sharon Rentta, Dogs Go Shopping
**
David Renwick, One Foot in the Grave
Read 2018
****
It's been a few years since I rediscovered and thoroughly loved this series, long enough that most of the contrived crescendos and exasperated exclamations were new to me again. It may be a sequence of episodes knitted together by flimsy segues, but so are most novels. This has the distinct advantage of knowing which episodes work in advance.
If the cover and blurbs hadn't given its origins away, the snappy dialogue might, which is much too vigorous to be bound up in a book. But then there's the world-weary narration that paints each scene in such rich sardonic tones, you wonder how they'd get by without it. And as if the stuff with dead animals would have been allowed on a television "comedy" anyway! I don't believe it.
Lukas Resheske, The Copywriting Business Formula: How to Build a $250,000/year Freelance Copywriting Business from Scratch, Volume One
Read 2020
**
Leah Rewolinski and Harry Trumbore, Star Wreck: The Generation Gap
Read 1998
*
Alan Moore, Stephen Bissette, John Totleben and Stan Woch, Swamp Thing, Vol. 4: A Murder of Crows
****
Some of the creepiest stories I've ever read are annoyingly interrupted by DC's continuity apocalypse, which Alan Moore pulls off well, but not as well as we know he's capable of. He was probably more annoyed about it than anyone. Elsewhere, the negative consequences of Swamp Thing's existence on those around him are brilliantly explored in mature stories that were presumably boring for any kids inappropriately reading this.
Alan Moore and Ian Gibson, The Ballad of Halo Jones, Book Three
Read 2007****
The war-torn third story in the saga of 'ordinary' 50th century space adventurer Halo Jones was never intended to be the last, but its open ending feels like a satisfying conclusion of the character's early life that really could go anywhere, though Alan Moore has failed to betray his principles and write a sequel for over twenty years. To be fair, he has been concentrating on a couple of projects in the meantime.
Alan Moore, Rick Veitch, John Totleben and Alfredo Alcala, Swamp Thing, Vol. 5: Earth to Earth
*****
When vegetablist social workers questioned Swamp Thing's loyalties and Olympian superheroes expressed concerns over his growing power, we laughed in their conservative faces. This gripping saga awkwardly proves them right as the elemental's unleashed and reconsiders who he's been fighting, with a titillating if futile showdown with Batman along the way. The final issue is the best of the series, even if it really belongs in the next book thematically.
Read 2007, re-read 2014
*****
The second Alan Moore I read (after V for Vendetta) and the first to blow my socks off, this is one of his best, which by extension means it's among the finest things ever written (with loads of great art as a bonus). There's a lot going on in these 12 meticulous issues, whether you're a fan of traditional superheroes and prepared to have your world torn apart or you're here for the literary wank.
Alan Moore and Curt Swan, Superman: Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?
****
"It was him all the time! He just combed his hair and stuck on a pair of glasses!"
The pesky postmodern writer who made it impossible for classic comics to continue literally ends its most famous line with a winking celebration of an era and ensemble whose sillier members – like Elastic Lad, the Super dog, and a villain who name is an unpronouncable string of consonants – are indistinguishable from his later parodies. He had a point.
Read 2007, re-read 2014, 2017****
Having explored what he wanted to with the character, it seems Alan Moore didn't really want to write Swamp Thing any more. Even when he's not skiving issues, he's writing some bizarre experimental sci-fi comic instead. All of these voyages are memorable, but some experiments are more successful than others, before things are neatly tidied ready for the next guy.
Alan Moore and John Totleben, Miracleman Book Three: Olympus
***
As happened with late Swamp Thing around the same time, Moore's Miracleman swan song goes off the rails as he turns it into the sci-fi pet project he wants to write instead, narrated in that same highfalutin voice all his pompous supermen have. It was a struggle to get through, except when it briefly becomes action-packed in his most unflinchingly violent comic issue outside of From Hell. John Totleben admirably keeps up.
Alan Moore and Brian Bolland, Batman: The Killing Joke
Read 2007, re-read 2014, 2019*****
I first approached this as an Alan Moore fan rather than a Batfan, and found it a bit pedestrian and reigned-in compared to his more independent projects, mainly enjoying seeing the influence on the Burton film. Still, coming from the golden era of the world's best writer, it's basically flawless, even if publishers have tried to ruin that in the years since by putting out a bland decoloured version that ruins the atmosphere, presumably concerned about medicated Gen Z kids having seizures if they see something colourful.
Read 2007
*****
I think this is still my favourite Alan Moore work, even if I chicken out every time I consider reading it again to check. It's one of the most disturbing books I've read, which is a tribute to his writing prowess, magic powers or both, and its landmark psychogeography chapter revealed a new way of looking at places.
Read 2007
*
Sex has an important role in many of Alan Moore's works, when he's allowed to get away with it. This was his first dallying with upfront (and other positions) pornography. It doesn't have much to offer if you're not turned on by drawings of underage girls having it away.
Read 2007, re-read 2023
****
Still not sure what his point is, but it's a good story.
Read 2021
***
Appropriately insular indulgence about cartoonists by cartoonists for cartoonists. If it feels lacking as a graphic novel, that's because it belongs with the souvenir programmes.
Read 2015
****
The tidy paperback collecting this six-issue run doesn't actually exist, due to some boring contractual dispute or other. But since it should, I'll pretend it does. This isn't the first or the last time that Moore et al would replicate the style of vintage comics, but it's probably the only time you could pick one up and mistake it for the real deal. That's both impressive and unfortunate, as having recently read/endured some of the specific "classics" they're paying tribute to, it wasn't the best time to indulge in some alternate universe false nostalgia of basically the same thing. I like his Supreme better, it's much more sarcastic.
Faves: 'It Came from... Higher Space!', 'Flipsville.'
Worsties: 'When Wakes the War-Beast!', 'Double-Deal in Dallas!'
Alan Moore and artists, Supreme: The Story of the Year
Read 2008*****
I don't read these series before Alan Moore comes storming in to tear down the establishment and remould things in his image, so I don't know if Supreme was always lampooned as a crude pound-shop Superman or if they actually tried to get away with it before in the hope that no one would notice. One of my favourites of Moore's 90s work and one of his funniest, before his vintage parodies got overdone in later years.
Read 2023
***
Borderline incomprehensible, barely worth the effort, but I had to get around to it eventually.
Read 2020
***
The gimmick of doing Law & Order with superheroes is an excuse for more lightly sarcastic false nostalgia from Moore as he populates the non-existent heritage of Image Comics (founded 1992). Supreme did it funnier.
Read 2021
**
Scraping out the Moore miscellany, this spin-off from a series I have no interest in is sort of a lightweight precursor to his Lovecraft works. Evidently, From Hell didn't give him his fill of dead prostitutes.
Read 2008
***
The jokes have worn a little thin by the second round, which also has less of the vintage pastiches and is more grounded in sincere 90s art, which totally won't look similarly dated in the future. It doesn't help that the story leaves us hanging, apparently because the publisher went bust. Never mind.
Read 2008
***
I don't know if the first outing is actually weaker than the rest, or if I just needed time to warm up. I wasn't an especially well-read literature graduate back then, so most of it went over my head without annotations.
Read 2022-23
***
Moore's pulp parodies are some of the funniest things I've ever read, so it's a shame when he calibrates to affectionate pastiche.
Read 2019
****
I'm normally strict on publication order over chronology, but reading The Forty-Niners first set me up to enjoy Alan Moore's superpowered cop show without being too distracted by trying to work out was going on. As a more general sentimental pisstake of comic heroes and villains, it's an easier ride than the League, but also less rewarding.
Alan Moore, Kevin Nowlan, Rick Veitch, Jim Baikie, Melinda Gebbie and Hilary Barta, Tomorrow Stories, Vol. 1
Read 2015
***
After reinventing comics in the '80s, Moore spent much of the '90s taking the piss out of the old guard. His Tomorrow Stories are less reverential than 1963 and less wacky than Supreme, but most of these parodies of stock characters are just uninspired. The notable exception is the plucky boy genius who turns a quiet farming town upside-down with black holes, mini solar systems, flying felines and time warps on a weekly basis.
Faves: Jack B. Quick: Boy Inventor.
Worsties: The rest.
Read 2008
****
Second time around, I got it (with some help from Wikipedia, admittedly). Mashing up the early science fiction worlds of H. G. Wells, Edgar Rice Burroughs and Margaret Cavendish (hey, I know that obscure writer from university! So that's what that feels like!), it's more in my ballpark and the hilarious Rupert cameo sealed the deal.
Alan Moore, Antony Johnston and Jacen Burrows, Alan Moore's The CourtyardRead 2016
****
Providence renewed my faith in Alan Moore's magic powers, and I was surprised that his Cthulhu canon stretched back more than 20 years. A nice, self-contained sinister short, in prose or comic as per your poison, this congealed over time into the prologue to something greater.
Alan Moore, Zander Cannon and Andrew Currie, Smax
Read 2015
There's still a lot from Alan Moore that I haven't got round to reading yet. I can't explain what makes some of his middle-tier stuff less enticing than the rest (Supreme > Tom Strong; D.R. and Quinch > Skizz), but for whatever reason I never bothered to check out Top 10 or even find out what it's about. But then I read that this spin-off miniseries was funny, so I dived in. Heading from wacky sci-fi city Neopolis to a sarcastic fantasy kingdom, it starts out like a more comprehensible Transmetropolitan and becomes a slightly ruder Discworld. I enjoyed it, and especially appreciated the dense visual gags as an apology for the page count.
Alan Moore and Gene Ha, Top 10: The Forty-Niners
Read 2019
***
I've not read Top 10 and don't really know what it is, but I'm going to assume this sepia prequel has more in common with the series proper than the barmy Pratchettesque fairy tale spin-off I read earlier. It doubtless would have been less confusing if I'd read things in the right order, but the deep-end discombobulation turned out to be the best part.Once that entertaining shock wore off and I got comfortable in the purpose-built city for science heroes, robots, mad scientists, miscellaneous supernatural creatures and other embarrassing war veterans America no longer has any use for, the sombre and meaningful story underneath the pulp silliness was less interesting.
Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Black Dossier
Read 2019
****
I'm not sure why I skipped over this integral installment in the League timeline before. Maybe I took a peek and was intimidated. Taking its cues from vintage annuals, this patchwork of comic, prose, play and metatextual miscellany is overwhelming dense even by Alan Moore standards, catching up on half a century's worth of literary and pop culture references and cameos and reverentially adopting styles from Shakespeare to Wodehouse to porn with much more attention to detail than was strictly necessary. It's extremely heavy-going, but you're allowed to skip bits.
Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 3: Century
Read 2015
****
It's so gratifying that Alan Moore is still at the top of his game, having put out these blinders since before I was even alive. It does take some wading through all the absolute pap he writes for the money to find the stuff he actually cares about, but give him a break – those drugs don't pay for themselves (though I'd argue he should be able to claim them as expenses). Bringing his Victorian characters up to the present day, he couldn't resist a stopover in the 60s where things have the excuse of going properly psychedelic, but even that doesn't top the madness of Volume II when Rupert Bear went on a killing spree. If you aren't deciphering the nicknames and googling the origins of every obscure literary character who pops up, you're not doing it properly.
Read 2016
****
I preferred the historical preenactments of Providence to this modern-day twist on the Mythos, which I treated more as supplementary background reading, but it's all inextricably tangled up in the same tentacles. One scene goes too far even for Alan Moore. You'll know the one if you've read it.
Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Nemo
Read 2019***
The League is the cleverest pop culture mash-up there is, pulling together characters, settings and gadgets from the obscure recesses of the public domain and cautiously alluding to those still under copyright in adventures that capture the simple enjoyment of the styles it's pastiching. There was no creative decline, I just got a bit weary of it by the end.
Alan Moore and Jacen Burrows, Providence
Read 2016
*****
But part way through the first issue (every panel dense with symbolism and references that I was confident I was only picking up on 20% of at most – fortunately, there's an OCD guide), I knew I was on to something special.
When the back pages offered a second, more intimate take on events via our closeted hero's journal, I felt the stirrings of an addiction that's normally reserved for the season finale of an ace TV show, however much I try to pretend I'm literary. After all, there were 11 more issues where that came from, and things had barely even started to take their inevitable plunge to the Weird. Just how good was this going to get?
It was threatening to topple From Hell from its perch as Moore's finest until the Neonomicon reprise let it down, so it's still among my favourite graphic novels. I suppose most of the credit should really go to Lovecraft, since he originally wrote the stories this is based around, but he was just laying the groundwork for this definitive mash-up cover version.
Read 2018
*****
Goes on a bit.
Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Vol. 4: The Tempest
***
The conclusion to this drawn-out, self-satisfied series was Alan Moore's retirement from comics (so he says), and it's a fitting finale as the pop-culture omnipastiche catches up to the comics of the writer's own upbringing and early career. Bitter and twisted to the end, he also takes the opportunity for some parting pot shots at the state of the industry and culture generally. He was the best.
Read 2020
****
It's not my favourite album from a band that wouldn't crack my top 10 1960s artists, but this is a good analysis of why it's such a big deal, even if the potted socioeconomic British history proved more interesting than the song breakdowns. 'A Day in the Life' is good though.
Read 2020
***
Leaving the background reading to Wikipedia, an unabashed fanboy goes all-in on a track-by-track analysis and personal interpretation, and helped me to appreciate an album I hadn't given much time to before. Result.
Read 2022
**
A strange combination of the full poem in tiny text to fit on the cardboard pages and tabs for toddlers too young to understand it. Still, merry Christmas.
Read 2023
***
Reading is fun! It's nice that some people are still drawing properly.
Marianne Moore, ObservationsRead 2019
***
Moore observed more of the world than her more bookish peers, turning to the animal kingdom over mythology most of the time when she wants an enigmatic metaphor, but she still peppers her aesthetically-sculpted stanzas with quotes as mysterious as the rest of this deceptively stream-of-consciousness topiary. I didn't give it the time and attention it deserved, but I like her way with words.
Read 2022
**
The sticker part didn't last long. The shape templates will stubbornly hang around in the school supplies, whether they really get use or not.
Read 2022
****
A bit hard right now, but maybe she won't grow out of unicorns. If not, I'll happily do it myself. Clop, clop.
Paul Moran, Gergely Forizs, John Batten, Adam Linley and Jorge Santillan, Where's the Llama?: A Whole Llotta Llamas to Search and Find
****
A rare Wally rip-off that maintains the challenge aspect for older players, possibly to the extreme as we're tasked with finding 10 llamas in each spread. That's just good value though, as was drawing more scenes than strictly necessary.
Read 2020
**
I keep persevering with cyberpunk, since I enjoy the synthwave background mixes. With thought-provoking transhuman concepts demonstrated through a rote hardboiled plot, this is like an updated Philip K. Dick novel, but longer and less knowingly funny.
Read 2023
***
No scary teeth in this one.
Dave Morris, Knightmare: The Labyrinths of Fear
Read 2021
Read at the right point in a comprehensive rewatch for maximum immersion, the best of the Knightmare gamebooks is authentic to the series (albeit harder, since you have the benefit of replays). All the familiar characters are there, and some even make cameos in the novel portion, which customarily takes Treguard out of his sedentary lifestyle.
More than the other books, trivia from the novel is essential for various gamebook riddles, so fortunately it's worth reading. Remarkably, it's probably better than the game.
Read 1991**
I didn't notice at the time that these were penned by the adventure gamebook legend. That makes the mediocre Turtles novels even more disappointing when I consider what might have been. Like the Ghostbusters Annual, I coloured in the black and white drawings that they forgot to, you're welcome.
Dave Morris, Knightmare: Fortress of Assassins
Read 2018
****
"The wight seizes you and proceeds to tear you limb from limb. A very disarming chap, as I'm sure you would agree if you were still alive."
I had one of these Knightmare books as a child, and won't have been alone in hugely preferring the interactive gamebook half to the opening novella, which barely has anything to do with the series. At least Treguard's in this one, albeit in name only. Its bloody tale of crusades, decapitation, dismemberment, disembowelling and child death is oddly targeted at slightly more mature readers than the usual Children's ITV demographic, but they probably tuned in for Knightmare anyway.
The gamebook part is fairly brief and repetitive, but still brilliant. Featuring familiar characters and scenarios and smart riddles that I didn't always crack even as someone way too old to be playing, it's just what the fans would have wanted and a perfect introduction to the gamebook format too. Much better than those rubbish Sonic the Hedgehog gamebooks I moved on to next.
I had one of these Knightmare books as a child, and won't have been alone in hugely preferring the interactive gamebook half to the opening novella, which barely has anything to do with the series. At least Treguard's in this one, albeit in name only. Its bloody tale of crusades, decapitation, dismemberment, disembowelling and child death is oddly targeted at slightly more mature readers than the usual Children's ITV demographic, but they probably tuned in for Knightmare anyway.
The gamebook part is fairly brief and repetitive, but still brilliant. Featuring familiar characters and scenarios and smart riddles that I didn't always crack even as someone way too old to be playing, it's just what the fans would have wanted and a perfect introduction to the gamebook format too. Much better than those rubbish Sonic the Hedgehog gamebooks I moved on to next.
Read 2020
***
Not as good as Fortress of Assassins in either of its awkwardly bisected, thematically related halves, though it's only the interactive Grail quest that's of any interest, you might as well rip the other half out. It's pretty annoying and repetitive, in the classic arcade game tradition, but it creates the illusion of freedom well for the sort of inexperienced young readers this is actually aimed at. I enjoyed pretending to be one again.
Dave Morris, Knightmare: The Forbidden Gate
Read 2020****
The weird, bloodthirsty YA fantasy is toned down as the Knightmare novellas become more appropriately kid-friendly and on brand. For once, I would have actually enjoyed this one as a child, but I went for the worse one with Hugo Myatt staring ominously out of the cover; a poor decision that didn't bode well for my gamebook prospects. The gamebook part was always the main appeal of these, and I was content to ride that economised loop of trial, error and junior riddles as many times as it took to get there.
Read 1994, re-read 2014
***
Lone Wolf got me seeking out this nostalgic favourite, which was my introduction to adventure gamebooks when I bought it from a book fair at primary school. It's beginner stuff with maybe an error or two, but the game portion stands up. It's let down by the boring prose half that I didn't bother to read for 20 years. It wasn't worth the wait.
Dave Morris and Mark Smith, Virtual Reality Adventure: Green Blood
Read 2021
***
For a series that fancies itself as a next-level solo RPG experience, this is still hampered by arbitrary deaths and illogical time loops when you abuse your freedom of choice and don't follow the author's preferred text. And while I was looking forward to some eco warrior cheese, being subjected to a primary school quiz was too patronising.
After a few annoying deaths I got into the groove and things were going well, until I turned out to be stuck there. I'll finish it some time, but I'd sooner pick up a Fighting Fantasy, Knightmare or other inferior progenitor.
Read 2019
*****
Dave Morris wrote the Knightmare gamebooks that introduced me to the eternally satisfying genre as a kid. With customisable characters, flexible morality, untrustworthy NPCs, multiple choice endings and weird developments hidden down obscure paths, this apocalyptic eco cyberpunk adventure is a tad more complex. It's tied with the Lone Wolves as the best gamebook I've played, even if I never did end up flying that bloody shuttle.
Dave Morris and Jamie Thomson, The Crystal Maze Adventure Gamebook
Read 2015
This is just about as authentic a meeting between the TV series and the 'turn to 187' gamebook format as you could get. Impressive, nostalgic and fiendish, things were looking pretty bleak for a while there in the Aztec Zone, but my fictional team pulled it together and made it all the way to a disappointing finish in the Crystal Dome. I failed at all the maths, but the logic puzzles were old chestnuts. There's a degree of flexibility that means you could play it twice before you'd be forced to repeat and coast through on memory. I assume it's for kids, but there's at least one naughty word.
Read 2020
**
I thought a wheel book would be an appealing new genre, but she's not really fussed about that feature, with its slavish commitment to four life stages that doesn't even apply to most of them. So for now, just another book to make animal noises to, but with real pics this time.
Read 2024
*****
The consensus best 'Blink' sequel, at least among we discerning fans who get around to reading it at some point within the decade or so.
Read 2020
****
Pre-Animal Man, post-Watchmen, this saga of postmodern superheroes, occult Nazis, the Cthulhu Mythos, '80s British politics and wacky geometry will be more of the same by the time smart-arse comic nerds dig it out of the archives, but there's only a finite amount of the authentic stuff out there, so we should savour it.
Read 2008
***
This usually shows up in features on smart-arse literary comics you should read, if you scroll through a couple of pages. That's all down to the fourth-wall-breaking second issue, which was apparently pretty mind-blowing stuff in the 1980s, and which I predictably like. The rest is so mired in DC continuity that I don't know or care about that I don't care.
Grant Morrison and Dave McKean, Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth
***
Even when he's paired with the best writers, Dave McKean always steals the show. His macabre abstractions are the main motivation to struggle through this ornamental ordeal, which has doubtless fucked up a few young Batfans over the years when purchased by non-discerning parents. I'll have to recuperate by reading something fun, like a Batman comic.
Grant Morrison and Klaus Janson, Batman: Gothic (a.k.a. Gothic: A Romance)
****
After the disturbing Arkham Asylum, Morrison's back with another mature and literary Batman that's impressively horrific. Mashing up more sources than I can spot, this dark tale of a Faustian bargain, perverse monks and occult architecture could be getting held back by its famous lead. Strip it down to prose and recast a generic supernatural detective and it might show up on more favourites lists.
Grant Morrison, Steve Yeowell, Jill Thompson and Dennis Cramer, The Invisibles, Vol. 1: Say You Want a Revolution
Read 2016
It doesn't matter how much background reading you've done in esoteric comics and hippie philosophy, you're still not going to get all that much out of this if you refuse to mess yourself up with hallucinogens. I've never listened to Pink Floyd "correctly" either.
The best parts are where Morrison seems to be faithfully transcribing his "visions" (dreams), which are a bit more mystical, spiritually liberating and psychedelically technicolor than mine tend to be. Then it goes downhill with time travel and historical cameos.
Grant Morrison, Jill Thompson, Chris Weston, John Ridgway, Steve Parkhouse and Paul Johnson, The Invisibles, Vol. 2: Apocalipstick
***
Our sweary hero's journey is interrupted for myriad misadventures in multicultural mysticism. These are doubtless trippy enough to be off-putting to the despised "casual reader," but for me, they were precious light relief from the unflinching real-world grimness. Morrison isn't pulling any punches, this is the freedom you can earn after proving yourself with superheroes.
Grant Morrison, Steve Yeowell, Jill Thompson and Dennis Cramer, The Invisibles, Vol. 3: Entropy in the U.K.
Read 2016
****
Either I'm being slow and stupid (implausible) or Morrison's being far too cryptic, as I only grasped the big picture of what's been going on when the catch-up introduction explained it to me. It's more or less David Icke with interdimensional insects instead of reptiles, and as it proceeds to introduce other familiar trappings of the omniconspiracy, there's cause to wonder how much of this the author really believes. He's playing the long game with these characters' backstories, writing with a view to the trade paperback omnibus rather than the frustrated monthly reader, this time striking a more pleasing balance between the gritty and the groovy. Feasting your visual cortex on the crazy parts shortly before going to sleep is wholly recommended.
Grant Morrison, Phil Jimenez and John Stokes, The Invisibles, Vol. 4: Bloody Hell in America
**
The Invisibles goes to America and becomes The X-Files. That franchise can't take all the credit for classic conspiracy concepts like mind-control vaccines and human/alien hybrids, but when you're treading that same ground in the 1990s you need to bring more to the table than excessive violence. And what's with this collection being only half the usual length?
Grant Morrison, Phil Jimenez and John Stokes, The Invisibles, Vol. 5: Counting to None
***
Turns out it wasn't just me who was turned off by the excessive violence of the last one, and this time King Mob tries to make amends by only shooting a few people in the jaws and brains when it's absolutely necessary. We get more substantial insights into the 2012 apocalypse that are as perplexing as they are revealing, as Morrison espouses his creative time travel theories that are no more barmy than anyone else's.
Grant Morrison, Chris Weston and Ivan Reis, The Invisibles, Vol. 6: Kissing Mister Quimper
Read 2016
Six volumes into Sandman, Hellblazer, Preacher and other series that held my interest for that long, I felt comfortable enough in the material to compare collections and exaggerate my preferences for the sake of a bit of variety in the star ratings. But this has lost me now. Time, reality and identity are fracturing all over the place and characters barely react to the news that they might just be a story. Maybe I'm too corrupted by the Matrix and this is one of those things like trance music that you need to be in an altered state of mind to get. There's lots of comic book sex if that's the sort of thing you like, only some of the non-consensual gang variety.
Grant Morrison, Philip Bond, Warren Pleece, Sean Phillips, Jay Stephens, Frank Quitely and Steve Yeowell, The Invisibles, Vol. 7: The Invisible Kingdom
Read 2016
***
"This started out as a simple investigation into a haunted toilet and now we're knee-deep in royal scandal and five-hundred-year-old conspiracies."
I needn't have worried about this month being light reading. There's a good chance this saga will end up being the smartest, densest, most thought-provoking thing I read all year. Either that, or Morrison's doing an Emperor's new clothes by filling his panels with philosophical quotes and mythical symbolism to convince us we're inadequate if we're struggling to follow the flimsy plot beneath. I wasn't naive enough to expect a clear and satisfying ending, but with a 12-issue countdown I was expecting some kind of building momentum rather than all these weird diversions and pointless yesteryear cameos at the expense of entirely absent main characters. They can't even decide who's drawing which pages by the end. Under-appreciated game-changer or over-lauded vanity project? Probably both.
Read 2021
****
Black Mirror doing Homeward Bound. The most affecting thing I've read in a while, a shame it's so short.
Robbie Morrison, George Mann, Brian Williamson and Dave Taylor, Doctor Who: The Twelfth Doctor – The Complete Year One
***
Not the substitute for the long-postponed Capaldi-era rewatch I'd foolish hoped, and some distance didn't even help to paper over the inevitable cracks that show when writing for work-in-progress versions of characters. They were adequate as generic Doctor Who stories with no specific nostalgia.
Read 2022
**
A fittingly dull look at a boring album.
Read 2023
****
Unfathomable anecdotes become borderline believable when given context.
Read 2023
***
An odd blend of formulaic surrealism, the bits he wrote have that distinctive charm.
Read 2019
****
An immersive and exhaustive guide to everyday life across the social strata that busts some myths along the way, since the author's actually been there and everything.
Ian Mortimer, The Time Traveller's Guide to Elizabethan England: A Handbook for Visitors to the Sixteenth CenturyRead 2019
****
Even more detailed and immersive than the medieval one, thanks to the richer sources available (less pissy overall). Invaluable if this situation ever comes up, but a comprehensive overview of humdrum life is going to drag from time to time.
Ian Mortimer, The Time Traveller's Guide to Restoration Britain: Life in the Age of Samuel Pepys, Isaac Newton and The Great Fire of London
Read 2019
****
More first-hand accounts and informed speculations about life in an age of upheaval (when isn't it?), we've moved on from the unrelatably antiquated to borderline almost modern in a sort of way. The dawn of diarists makes this the most fleshed-out chronicle so far, without just lazily regurgitating Pepys all the way.
Some of the more subtle changes and lack thereof mean it gets repetitive at times – and all the lists that would be invaluable for someone's coursework are tedious to sit through, even when the audiobook narrator sounds like Patrick Stewart – but on the whole, I found it more engrossing than its predecessors. I don't know if he's planning a Victorian volume, but there are some thought-provoking questions raised at the end that wrap up the whole journey satisfyingly.
Some of the more subtle changes and lack thereof mean it gets repetitive at times – and all the lists that would be invaluable for someone's coursework are tedious to sit through, even when the audiobook narrator sounds like Patrick Stewart – but on the whole, I found it more engrossing than its predecessors. I don't know if he's planning a Victorian volume, but there are some thought-provoking questions raised at the end that wrap up the whole journey satisfyingly.
Read 2023
****
Incrementally more relatable, I'm looking forward to these catching up and overtaking the present so we can start getting slices of life from the future.
Read 2020
**
The 'authorised sequel' to the philosophical series, for whatever that's worth, this feels more like a failed next-generation pilot until we're back in the Village, then the record gets stuck in a meaningless catchphrase groove. The art was nice, anyway.
Read 2022
***
The ebook uploader thoughtfully included both the open and closed flaps so we could pretend we were in the library.
Read 2020
***
A brief biography and insubstantial analysis to read once, before most of the book is rightly given over to repetitive, mad dioramas. Turns out I don't like Bosch as much as I used to, but I still want that jigsaw.
Read 2023
***
Good flap book, we added interactivity with wooden draughts.
Read 2007
**
Partly a throwback sci-fi satire of American imperialism in outer space, but mainly a soap opera about a guy in love with a squid woman. The Canadian author self-publishes his books, I don't know whether that's out of necessity.
Read 2014, re-read 2022
***
I found this adult picture book more creepy than sweet, so I enjoyed it.
Read 2023-24
***
She liked the weasels particularly.
Read 2015
No one ever talks about Murakami's (or is it Haruki's?) first amateur novel. Even the author seems to have semi-disowned it, letting it drift out of print for many years out of mild embarrassment. So I wasn't expecting it to be good or anything, but I was at least hoping for a failed experiment, something off-puttingly weird and non-commercial before he learned to tame his style with realism. But it turns out he went in the other direction – the alienation, romantic failures and Western cultural fixation are all there, but the quirkiness would have to wait until later.
Haruki Murakami, Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World
***
Two entirely different novels mashed into the same spine, again, the major difference here from its more refined and esteemed successors like Kafka on the Shore is there's no realist coming-of-age tale to keep the weirdness grounded. Both stories are surreal and ridiculous, but one slightly more so than the other.
Haruki Murakami, The Elephant Vanishes
Read 2020***
Mostly everyday tales with a sprinkling of the fantastic, ranging from romantic to pervy. Some nice episodes, but his novels are better.
Faves: 'The Second Bakery Attack,' 'Sleep' (best), 'Barn Burning.'
Worsties: 'The Fall of the Roman Empire, the 1881 Indian Uprising, Hitler's Invasion of Poland, and the Realm of Raging Winds,' 'Lederhosen,' 'The Silence.'
Faves: 'The Second Bakery Attack,' 'Sleep' (best), 'Barn Burning.'
Worsties: 'The Fall of the Roman Empire, the 1881 Indian Uprising, Hitler's Invasion of Poland, and the Realm of Raging Winds,' 'Lederhosen,' 'The Silence.'
Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
Read 2015
****
"You have to anticipate a few problems when cats and humans try to speak to each other."
His last one I read was pretty underwhelming, but this one was pretty great. Pompous and needlessly cryptic at times, but I have a lot of time for that. It's another case of two completely different stories running in parallel that presumably share more connections the more intelligent you are, and I generally preferred the weird old man with his cats and quest to the deeper coming-of-age Oedipal drama. Probably because I'm getting old. Further evidence that it's worth committing to slightly longer books, but it'll only take another Ilium to put me off again.
Read 2020
***
Relatably nightmarish in its labyrinthine setting and academic slavery, it's a shame it's so short (originally a short story) and a shame it was the version with unimaginative '90s album booklet "art direction."
Read 2020
****
The magic realism plot could be wrapped up in a short story or Twilight Zone, but Murakami decides we should really get to know these characters. He provides regular 'previously-on' reminders in dialogue, in case this boxset's taking you a while.
Haruki Murakami, Colourless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage
Read 2015
I've seen this author's name come up often in relation to pleasing oddness, and was waiting for the inspiration/excuse to bother cracking open a proper novel. This accidental Japanese theme I've got going on was the ticket. This wasn't the best place to get started though, as outside of a few vivid dream sequences and half-hearted musings on demons, it's the most normal thing I've read since... I just scrolled up and it's probably some of those Russian short stories. But proportionally, that's ages. It still kept my interest, and I can't fault it beyond being a bit too humdrum and real, but I was really hoping for some flying cats. I'll try again.
Heidi Murkoff with Sharon Mazel, What to Expect the First Year: 3rd EditionRead 2019
*****
This quick-reference owner's manual avoids doctrine and paranoia for the most part, packing in as much practical information as possible into 700 double-column pages without padding it with someone else's baby pics. A lot of the advice is irrelevantly American-centric (e.g. gun risks), but I don't expect everything to be tailored for me.
Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel, What to Expect the Second Year: From 12 to 24 MonthsRead 2020
*****
Trustworthy and reassuring guidance to keep parents on the ball, setting realistic expectations of what we can look forward to and less so. The gun safety interruption was no less chilling the second time around.
Read 1990, re-read 2020, 2021
****
I enjoyed Mr Bear's sleepless suffering as a child, but it makes a better book for adults who can relate more to the insomniac patriarch and speculate about the sort of stresses he's dealing with and how he's going to cope with the day ahead. I hope Mrs Bear did the driving.
Read 2022
***
I don't remember if I was read this one, but it had the general nostalgic context. She reckoned the wolf yarn was the most plausible by the end, not the mundane playground confession. Her imagination has been remarked on.
Read 2021
****
Less relatable, rereadable and helpfully-titled for recognition than Peace at Last, but still a nice companion. It's no A Grand Day Out, but better than Meg on the Moon.
Read 2021
*
Peace At Last is a classic, so this cheap jumbo (do you see what I did there) collection seemed worth a try. Unfortunately, it's not very interesting to any of us, and its attention-seeking widescreen format is just taking up space. It even made formatting this annoying.
Read 2021
**
Rabbits make a cosmetic change from elephants, but they're no more entertaining. No one comes out of the mundane ordeal looking good, which would be fine if it was funny. Daughter was more interested in pretending to read a novel than listening.
Read 2021
***
The bears were always better than the elephants, and this is more relatable anguish, divided across the whole family this time to cut the dad some slack.
Read 2024
**
Palette-swapped fable of friendship, forgiveness and flooding that bizarrely forgets to end on a rainbow.
Read 2023
**
Inspirational slogans with a semblance of story.
Read 2020
**
Decrying tabloid fixations while simultaneously obsessing over the idolised recluse who just wants to be left alone, maybe because the story's not all that interesting without the mythmaking.
Read 2020
***
The first tale made me harrumph in indoctrinated pessimism, the second I've forgotten already, the third was a rejuvenating splash of cold water. It's a shame my school assemblies didn't branch out more from that Jesus feller, but at least I had Master Splinter.
Read 2021
**
Occasionally amusing and mildly interesting as a tie-in to the elusive TV forebear of the film. That gives it a rich seam of material to draw from, yet it's still repetitive and padded to hell. At least it clarifies how to spell 'shyeah.'
N
Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
Read 2016
****
Half of these "erotic" books are already obsessed with underage girls, so if I'm going to read something perverted, I might as well tick off a literary classic. It's sometimes worth choosing an audiobook based on the narrator alone, and Jeremy Irons might almost manage to convince you of the validity of the fictional author's self-serving arguments that pre-teen nymphettes are all gagging for some statutory. Despite being one of the most controversial books ever, it's one of the least graphic so far, which is a definite plus. Page 61 is supposed to be particularly titillating according to Red Dwarf, but I can't say I noticed. Somehow I doubt a scene like that would make it past BBC compliance today.
Vladimir Nabokov, Pale Fire
***
An overlong, inept line-by-line commentary of a fictional, impossibly cryptic poem that gets frequently distracted by three seemingly unconnected biographies, this is potentially one of the greatest things ever written if you have the time and patience. If you're whizzing through the audiobook on x2.00 speed while puzzling over fan-made Dizzy games, you're not really getting the most out of it.
Angela Nagle, Kill All Normies: Online Culture Wars from 4chan and Tumblr to Trump and the Alt-Right
***
I don't know whether the online era in question had reached peak insanity by the time this immersive historical document was rushed to print, since I'd largely stopped paying morbid attention to that whole misanthropic battleground by then and returned to comforting escapism. I'll assume everyone agreed to live and let live, had a good think about what they'd done and the digital utopia arrived. Give it a rest, twats.
Doug Naylor, Last Human
Read 1998, re-read 2018
**
In hindsight that was only postponed by a couple of years, it's clear that Doug Naylor was brainstorming possibilities for a new and "improved" Red Dwarf series (and the long-gestating film) in his first and only solo novel. I wonder if fans who read this at the time had a good idea how the next series was going to go down. The plot itself may be unique, but there's still a lot that made it.
Rooted in an alternate take on the then-recent sixth series, it isn't concerned with restoring default settings by resolving the search for the missing Red Dwarf, reintroducing Holly and doing other things the fans would have liked. Naylor admirably (if disappointingly) runs with his own ideas by reintroducing former lost love idyll Kochanski in a substantial role and prophetically (MCMXCV spoiler) killing off Rimmer(you know; again).
I enjoyed the planet-hopping GELF action and unabashed sex scenes as a teenager, which is the right time to read this book. It all comes off a little immature now. This is also where the Red Dwarf universe (some of the universes, anyway) starts to feel over-crowded, something that's continued to irk me in Doug Naylor Dwarf to this day. It's supposed to be cold outside.
Rooted in an alternate take on the then-recent sixth series, it isn't concerned with restoring default settings by resolving the search for the missing Red Dwarf, reintroducing Holly and doing other things the fans would have liked. Naylor admirably (if disappointingly) runs with his own ideas by reintroducing former lost love idyll Kochanski in a substantial role and prophetically (MCMXCV spoiler) killing off Rimmer(you know; again).
I enjoyed the planet-hopping GELF action and unabashed sex scenes as a teenager, which is the right time to read this book. It all comes off a little immature now. This is also where the Red Dwarf universe (some of the universes, anyway) starts to feel over-crowded, something that's continued to irk me in Doug Naylor Dwarf to this day. It's supposed to be cold outside.
Doug Naylor, Red Dwarf VIII: The Official Book
Read 2000***
It's a shame that the most lavishly presented and comprehensively detailed Red Dwarf book is dedicated to arguably the worst Red Dwarf there is ("'Cassandra' was good though" – mandatory). Having watched those episodes taped off TV endlessly in the year or so after broadcast, and then mostly never again because I got hold of better Red Dwarf, it was interesting to see all the deleted dialogue and to read about what might have been. There was no salvaging VIII though.
Read 2024
***
Another self-aware book, she'll be so over metafiction by the time she starts primary school.
Read 2020
***
It does, but top marks for effort. If he had to write this because he lost a bet, or to prove the pointless pretension of formulaic film studies, he really threw himself into it, he almost had me.
Read 2021
****
I didn't really know about this nicely specific tie-in to the most nostalgic era of my favourite TV series until I was living outside of British eBay range, so it was a treat to finally get around to it. The daily fly-on-the-wall approach is nicely intimate, and while something more definitively exhaustive would have been preferable, padding out the page count with exclusive photos is a fair exchange.
Read 2020
***
A decent overview of the minimalist art punk suite, interspersed with repetitive quotes from other notable musicians giving exactly the same take about how this band was different.
Read 1996
**
Why was I reading 'A Young Puffin' in year six? Since I only remember this because I drew the cover to accompany a school book review, maybe I chose the shortest thing on the shelf to get it over with faster? Yeah, nice try.
Michael Alan Nelson, Greg Scott, Patrick McEvoy and Pablo Quiligotti, Fall of Cthulhu Omnibus
Read 2015
**
It wasn't going to stay high-brow forever. But look, at least it's got a decent page count (collecting 27 comics, or 'graphic chapters' for the ashamed), even if the main impression I had when reading was of a Saturday morning cartoon laced with gratuitous gore. It's the first post-Lovecraft Cthulhu story I've read (not counting Metallica or that episode of The Real Ghostbusters) and I wasn't impressed – it's all gritty action rather than suspense, and fails to understand that these "unspeakable" horrors lose their weight when you actually draw them going RARRGHHH! and stuff. Didn't your creative writing tutor teach you to tell, not show? I was going to say "at least the art's nice," but even that deteriorated as it went along.
Read 2020
***
A personal interpretation of lyrics and themes that tries not to speculate on what the artist meant, but can't help retrospectively ascribing specific spacetime context that's likely imaginary, like how I imagined this was written by a chick until I just clocked the name.
Read 1997
***
A useful resource for episode summaries before the internet. The behind-the-scenes info wasn't particularly insightful though, especially compared to the peerless Deep Space Nine Companion that came a few years later.
E. Nesbit, Five Children and It
Read 1996
***
E. Nesbit, The Phoenix and the Carpet
Read 2015
**
E. Nesbit, The Railway Children
E. Nesbit, The Story of the Amulet
Daniel Nettle, Personality: What Makes You the Way You Are
Read 2009
***
Robert Newman, Dependence Day
Read 2007
***
Karl Newson and Ross Collins, I Am a Tiger
Karl Newson and Duncan Beedie, I Really, Really Need a Wee!
Karl Newson and Duncan Beedie, I Really, Really Need a Poo
Helen Nicoll and Jan Pieńkowski, Meg & Mog
Read 1997, re-read 2020, 2021
****
Read 2020
Joseph Niezgoda, The Lennon Prophecy: A New Examination of the Death Clues of the Beatles
Read 2020
***
J. Niimi, R.E.M.'s Murmur
Read 2019
***
Leonard Nimoy, I Am Not Spock
Read 2015
***
Anaïs Nin, Delta of Venus
Read 2016
**
Faves: 'Artists and Models,' 'Elena,' 'Pierre.'
Worsties: 'The Boarding School,' 'The Ring,' 'The Veiled Woman.'
Read 1996
***
I was probably a bit too old to be reading a fairy story about a goblin genie at eleven, but the outmoded prose and vintage illustrations gave me pleasant Narnia flashbacks, even if the story wasn't as convincingly magical.
E. Nesbit, The Phoenix and the Carpet
Read 2015
I enjoyed the book and BBC version of Five Children and It as a child, but never read/saw this sequel, something I thought I should remedy. Not sure why. I can't remember what happened in the previous book, but I'm sure it was better than this. It starts out well enough with exotic adventures, mild peril and compulsory mild racism, but then the kids with a magic, wish-granting carpet choose to spend the rest of the story being boring around London and relying entirely on wishes to get them out of scrapes rather than showing any resourcefulness. Spoiled, unimaginative, helpless brats. Hope you're looking forward to the war.
Read 2022
****
With its distinct lack of paranormal cryptids, I probably wouldn't have been caught up in these grounded moral japes back in the day, but now I can appreciate it as a classic I'm looking forward to failing to pass down. Mature, sombre and slow without being dull, it clearly set the template for so many lesser children's novels read throughout school.
Read 2022
****
The generic gang supplement their sand fairy with a time-travelling Stargate and struggle with the laws of time, magic and Edwardian etiquette in the admirably complex sci-fantasy finale to what I remembered being a considerably more lightweight series previously. Most triumphant!
Read 2009
***
Not having studied psychology, this layman's guide was the first place I learned that I was an introvert. It was comforting to know I wasn't alone, even if that's how I prefer to be. It broke things down a bit further, but no need to complicate things when you've already got your category.
Robert Newman, Dependence Day
Read 2007***
Capturing the end of the comedian's bohemian phase, after he decided to leave the establishment behind but before he got his hair cut and went all political, this demi-autobiographical first novel is an experimental affair that can clearly be traced to the frustrated, world-weary romantic of his on-stage persona, even if none of the characters points to a dog turd on the pavement and explains "you see that? That's you, that is."
Read 2023
**
I dont really get this book for preschoolers.
Read 2024
**
Scatalogical picture rhyme with an Inside No. 9-level twist.
Read 2024
*
The eagerly-awaited number two.
Helen Nicoll and Jan Pieńkowski, Meg & MogRead 1997, re-read 2020, 2021
****
These books were knocking around my Christian primary school, so they can't have stirred up too much of an occult panic, but I wasn't interested in reading any until my youngest brother got this one in an audiobook pack. Lasting all of several minutes, the production was legendary for its solution to the sound effect of bread.
Helen Nicoll and Jan Pieńkowski, Meg and Mog Treasury
***
Six books in one robust binding seemed like good value at the time, until I saw my toddler struggling to lug this around the kitchen, and before all the unfamiliar sequels to the decent original turned out to be a load of random, wacky shit with barely any relation to the Halloween theme of the pilot. Just space out and enjoy those saturated colours.
Read 2020***
"Dialing the name “John Lennon” on a telephone key pad produces the number string “5646536666,” which contains six sixes (inverted nines)."
Overly literal Christian analysis, backmasking, mirror writing, anagrams, numerology and citing fictional plays as historical sources, this has everything I hoped for and more. His sensationalised reconstruction of the murder was pretty chilling too, I'll give him that, the nutter.
Overly literal Christian analysis, backmasking, mirror writing, anagrams, numerology and citing fictional plays as historical sources, this has everything I hoped for and more. His sensationalised reconstruction of the murder was pretty chilling too, I'll give him that, the nutter.
Read 2019
***
Atypically in-depth for a flimsy 33⅓ book, this goes beyond the usual biographical context, studio anecdotes and equipment technicalities into the realm of scholarly speculation invited by Michael Stipe's cryptic mumbles. I don't know whether it was actually J. Niimi's master's thesis, but that's the vibe. I probably learned a lot, but nothing I'll take away.
Leonard Nimoy, I Am Not Spock
***
It turns out that this legendary ungrateful memoir is actually nothing of the sort, though there were evidently enough people like me who judged it on the title alone that Nimoy had to write a follow-up, I Am Spock, to clarify that he doesn't begrudge his most famous character's popularity. He comes across as a nice and thoughtful guy, and his schizophrenic dialogues with the Vulcan in his head are pretty cute. RIP/LLAP.
Anaïs Nin, Delta of Venus
Read 2016
**
I don't know what Anaïs Nin's more heartfelt work was like, but there's no trace of genuine passion in these sell-out porn tales tailored to the predictable tastes of an anonymous aficionado who advised her to ditch the distracting "poetry" and cut to the action. Child abuse is sadly as prevalent as ever, but other taboos are used more sparingly, with only a dash of zoo and necro to whet his whistle. Dirty get.
Faves: 'Artists and Models,' 'Elena,' 'Pierre.'
Worsties: 'The Boarding School,' 'The Ring,' 'The Veiled Woman.'
Read 2020
***
You can stand against the anti-populist snobs without being a tedious snob yourself, but I guess it's a defensive reflex. It's a shame, because I enjoyed his pretentious elemental framework otherwise.
Read 2019
**
I was hoping this would be a light and quirky alternative to the duo's more heavygoing collaborations, but once we're past the good gag of a sceptical SF writer stubbornly trying to rationalise his paranormal experiences in terms he understands, the extended, cliquey homage begins and it's a wearying road.
Larry Niven, The Draco Tavern
Read 2018
**
Larry's been doing these as long as Spider, but his tales from the watering hole tend to be more abrupt, less congenial and more straight-up SF: all presumably reasons why they didn't build the same following or inspire real-life imitations and a graphic adventure game.
Most of these are just a few pages long and can't help feeling like filler as the bartender and his exotic patrons briefly discuss some aspect of alien culture. The better ones are when then go outside.
Faves: 'Smut Talk,' 'The Slow Ones,' 'Playhouse.'
Worsties: 'Grammar Lesson,' 'One Night at the Draco Tavern,' 'The Missing Mass.'
David Nobbs, The Death of Reginald Perrin (a.k.a. The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin)
Read 2018***
I haven't seen the TV adaptation that followed the novel, but picked up the idea that the frustrated bloke abandoning his obligations and walking naked into the sea was regarded as something of a nonconformist hero. A middle-aged Neo for the 1970s.
Reading the actual story and Reggie's selfish and thoughtless thought process, he comes off less favourably and it's a bit like being stuck with the unpleasant narrators of Lolita or American Psycho again. But funnier.
Read 2019
***
This companion book to a Canadian broadcaster's companion special to the TV series is adorably infuated with the material and encourages active viewership, posing thought-provoking questions with extensive background reading for every episode. It's only brief, but so was the series.
Read 2022
*
I hope they didn't have the cheek to release this separately from the jigsaw set, because it's hardly even added value there.
Read 2019
***
Stretching its remit to cover non-album material, alternate versions and other projects, this would have made more sense as a stand-alone book on the music of Twin Peaks or Lynch/Badalamenti collaborations generally rather than as part of this album-focused series, but sticking rigidly to the limited commercial release of pilot cues would have been limited too. The music theory and notation went over my head, but it was nice to learn what instruments the synthesisers are pretending to be and the cultural associations everyone supposedly has except for me.
Claire North, The First Fifteen Lives of Harry AugustRead 2019
***
Do you ever catch yourself daydreaming that you've been reincarnated back at the start of your life with your current knowledge and experience, wondering how you'd do things differently from this unfairly privileged starting point? This is that, stretched out to a novel.
Ryan North and George Gipe, B^F: The Novelization of the Feature Film
Read 2015
*****
The only time I've ever spent any considerable time on Tumblr, I remembered being tickled by what little I read at the time of this in-depth commentary on the frankly barmy novelisation of an inferior early draft of one of the objectively greatest films ever made. I wanted to track down George Gipe's original, but fortunately for humanity, that doesn't seem to exist in e-book form. It turned out that North's (longer-than-the-novel) commentary does though, meaning I got to convert pithy internet time into valuable book points (I just read e-books on the desktop anyway, so I stuck with Tumblr). While reading the novel would have had its interesting and funny moments, I wouldn't have extracted as much joy without having every instance of archaic vocabulary, creepy characterisation, inept foreshadowing and obsession with brand names highlighted for my convenience.
Read 2014
****
The best selling of the various Rubik's rubrics published in 1981, to the point of being the best selling book generally that year, this is kindly aimed at non-mathematicians who are still prepared to learn some algebra. Features bonus puzzles that would impress your friends if they didn't likely have this book too.
Read 2024
***
Enjoyable, but nothing we don't do already when I pretend to be shocked reading aloud her gibberish stories I transcribe for her.
Read 2022
**
Best you don't help anyone.
Colin Nutt, Callum Cochrane and photographers, Picturing Scotland: Edinburgh
Read 2021
Lots of nice pictures of familiar places and attractions I never bothered to visit in three years, unfortunately annotated with self-described "fascinating insights" into Scotland's "multi-faceted" capital, with all the "hidden depths," "elegant vistas" and "stark contrasts" that make it "truly a capital city." The sort of generic travel copy I vomit up when I can't be arsed, that was all in the opening paragraph.
Read 2016
It's not the easiest task to analyse willfully undefinable "compositions," the most extreme of which can only be described as "music" sarcastically (does an orchestra playing 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence or a performance artist crawling up the vagina of a live whale really count as music? Of course not, what's wrong with you?) Either the task was too monumental or I need a new brain, as I couldn't understand much of what he was going on about and I was listening along. You know, when there was actually sound.
O
Read 2024
**
Skips over any aborted/truncated fifth season plans and goes straight to the Babylon 5 ending, with a liberal dollop of spiritual schmaltz to make the bereaved fans feel better.
Read 2011
**
I don't like that programme he does, but don't hold it against him. This comedy memoir wasn't especially rib-tickling though, but it passed a bit of the time when I was stranded in Malaysia.
Flann O'Brien, The Third PolicemanRead 2018
****
This isn't the most poignant eschatological voyage in literature, but it is notable for devoting a substantial chunk of its page count to surreal comedy sketches. It's a shame no publisher would touch it in the author's lifetime, or we could have got more.
Read 2022
***
Less fun than naughty cat videos, better than Garfield.
Read 2020***
Choreographing my child's magical childhood entertainment a bit far in advance (I'll probably let her play outside sometimes), these have always seemed promising as Disney alternatives and I dig the hippie values. Some extracurricular viewing didn't really live up to the gushing praise, but they're not aimed at me. Includes analysis of themes for your GCSE essay.
Read 1997
***
I was always more interested in the stories than the imaginary technicalities behind the plot conveniences, but I appreciated that they put in the effort all the same.
Michael Okuda and Denise Okuda with Debbie Mirek and illustrators, The Star Trek Encyclopedia – A Reference Guide to the Future
***
The A-Z index was the most boring part of the Star Trek Fact Files, and this didn't compare favourably to that publication with its black and white photos and instantly outdated cut-off point in the franchise's most prolific decade. Still, as a necessary reference work, it did its job adequately. Doggedly in-universe reference books are pretty tedious though.
Pete Olafson, The Morrowind Prophecies: Official Guide to the Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
**
The last game I really sank my teeth into (before this year's Dizzy revival anyway), I always suspected I was barely scratching the surface, and this tediously thorough book confirms it. I never realised how boring and repetitive it all was. I felt no nostalgic itch to play this time, games should have stayed 2D.
Reggie Oliver, The Dreams of Cardinal Vittorini & Other Strange Stories
***
I was expecting a bit of a joker, based on some later titles, but in this debut at least he doesn't stray far outside the comfort zones of hauntings, theatre and academia, occasionally overcompensating by going hi-tech. His strength is in lingering on paintings, old photographs and other images so their subjects are burned into your imagination. I'll read more.
Fave: 'In Arcadia'
Read 2020
***
More resolutely traditional, ornamental ghost stories with a somewhat tonally misleading contents page.
Fave: 'Mr Poo-Poo'
Read 2020
**
More a chapter than a book, and not so much 'untold' as widely published in the readily available reference works summarised. The observation of how the world changed around and influenced the series during its run was the only worthwhile contribution. The synopsis reads like a child's book report.
Jerry Oltion, Star Trek: The Captain's Table – Where Sea Meets Sky
Read 2018
****
It's probably the best Trek lit I've ever read, not that the bar's set particularly high there. This grim tale of cyborg space whale carnage would be out of place in any of the proper series (pre-Discovery, anyway), but it fits in nicely with this hypothetically darker lost era. Pike > Kirk
Read 2020
***
Art.
Read 2020
***
Cosmopolitan sequel.
John J. Ordover, David Mack, Andrew Currie and Michael Collins, Star Trek: Divided We Fall
**
The third DS9/TNG crossover comic isn't a huge step above the other two, especially since it's all about the Trill. It's odd that one of Star Trek's most interesting species rarely made for good stories. The only thing that's even slightly interesting about it is that it's part of the Relaunch continuity, so a chance to see some characters who originated in the novels rendered as drawings. It was probably a big deal to some people.
Read 2024
**
Variably creative, consistently unattractive episode posters. I'll never get used to production order.
Read 2023
**
A good effort to graphically interpret every damned episode, but I didn't feel it.
Read 1998***
Not read for school, but unusually forced on me by my dad, who'd found a budget paperback and probably decided it would be a more worthwhile use of my time than reading endless Star Trek books. It's fair to say I didn't understand the historical and political context behind the allegory at twelve (I didn't get Star Trek VI back then either), but there were obviously lessons going on. It's a fable about animals though, what am I, seven?
George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-four
Read 2006****
Like most people who quote 1984, I didn't bother to actually read it when I wrote an essay comparing it to other dystopias at high school. It was only a high school essay and we had Google by then. Instead, I curiously read it for leisure in the middle of my university course when I could have been reading other dreary things that would have been more beneficial. Maybe I felt guilty.
It's 1984, you know what it's about. Even if you haven't read it. Who actually reads it?
It's 1984, you know what it's about. Even if you haven't read it. Who actually reads it?
Will Osborne, 13 Ghosts: Strange But True Ghost Stories
***
I lapped up these "true" "ghost" stories as a kid, before joining a sceptical paranormal group with the objective of busting ghost nonsense to ruin it for everyone. Now I'm back gathering fake news to pass down to the younger generation and continue the cycle, because it's fun while it lasts.
Faves: 'The Ghost Who Carried a Coffin,' 'The Phantom of the German Submarine,' 'The Ghost in the Rattling Chains.'
Worsties: Most of them.
Read 2013
***
Black Sabbath have always been one of my faves, but while I was never interested in watching a staged reality show chronicling the hilarious deterioration of their former singer, this autobiography of his crazier days was a laugh. The audiobook being read in the first person by Frank Skinner was a bit confusing though.
Read 2014, re-read 2020
***
I'm not its angsty teen audience, but I still appreciate the dramatic movie storyboard action and its psychic sci-fi plot made me nostalgic for Final Fantasy games, such is my limited exposure to Japanese media. I've never met anyone who made it past book one.
Read 2020
***
A general biography of the band through regrettable Nazi edginess to dramatic finale, it emphasises the debut album in the middle to gain entry to this album-focused series, but could've been extended to the second without much trouble. It can't help being hogged by Ian Curtis, but the other whatsisnames get fair representation too.
Read 2022
**
She likes a good story, but flaps and sliders are the next most appealing things to grab after noisy books when she's filling time.
Read 2022
**
More library filler. Literal fluff.
Read 2016
This seemed to get referenced more than any other text whenever I've read anything classical-themed from A-level onwards, so it was about time I got around to it. I would have done that a lot sooner if I'd known it was basically a Roman/Greek mythology anthology. The theme is transformation, which barely narrows the field at all since that happens absolutely all the time, and the segues between otherwise unrelated stories are as amusingly flimsy as those in an Amicus horror film.
Yei Theodora Ozaki ed, Japanese Fairy Tales
Read 2015
***
"You are right, wife, for once."
A second outing for exotic fairy tales this month, and disappointingly another collection that the curator admits having selected to best suit Edwardian British tastes. Whatever zany stuff he left out, I wish he'd left it in, as some of these are basically Japanese whispers of familiar tales, but they do point out when they're being stubbornly foreign, providing explanations about the importance of respecting one's parents and what rice is. I found it a lot easier on the conscience than the Arabian Nights, as these bad people typically get their just desserts rather than being rewarded with a princess and slaves. Plus, all the animals talk.
Faves: Time-twisting coral caves psychedelia in 'The Story of Urashima Taro, The Fisher Lad.'
Worsties: 'The "Shinansha," or The South Pointing Carriage' and other war-themed ones that don't even feature talking animals.
A second outing for exotic fairy tales this month, and disappointingly another collection that the curator admits having selected to best suit Edwardian British tastes. Whatever zany stuff he left out, I wish he'd left it in, as some of these are basically Japanese whispers of familiar tales, but they do point out when they're being stubbornly foreign, providing explanations about the importance of respecting one's parents and what rice is. I found it a lot easier on the conscience than the Arabian Nights, as these bad people typically get their just desserts rather than being rewarded with a princess and slaves. Plus, all the animals talk.
Faves: Time-twisting coral caves psychedelia in 'The Story of Urashima Taro, The Fisher Lad.'
Worsties: 'The "Shinansha," or The South Pointing Carriage' and other war-themed ones that don't even feature talking animals.
P
Edward Packard, Choose Your Own Adventure #45: You Are a Shark
Read 2015
****
"You have not been asleep," the monk replies. "You've been a tree."
I loved multiple choice gamebooks when I was a kid (and again for a brief spell at 28), but I never crossed paths with the big name brand, and this seemed like a suitably mad place to start.
It's almost absolutely amazing, making inspired use of the format to teach some entry level Buddhism and conservation messages that hit home when you're the whale being harpooned or lion being caged, but each scenario is far too rushed to fully immerse yourself before moving on. I played through a few times to try out the various combinations of beasts of the land, air and sea, but never did end up as that shark.
Mary Packard, Mickey Mouse and the Pet Shop
Camille Paglia, The Birds
Read 2020
***
Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
Read 2006
**
Rob Palmer, Dad Hacks: 101 Easy Tips to Save Families Time and Money
Read 2020
***
Elizabeth Pantley, The No-Cry Nap Solution: Guaranteed Gentle Ways to Solve All Your Naptime Problems
Read 2020
***
Blaine Pardoe and artists, Star Trek: The Next Generation – First Year Sourcebook
Rosalie Parker, The Old Knowledge & Other Strange Tales
Read 2020
***
Fave: 'Chanctonbury Ring'
David Partington, Hello Dinosaur: Triceratops
Alan Partridge with Rob Gibbons, Neil Gibbons, Armando Iannucci and Steve Coogan, I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan
Read 2011, re-read 2013, 2019
*****
Alan Partridge with Rob Gibbons, Neil Gibbons and Steve Coogan, Nomad
Read 2016, re-read 2019
****
Alan Partridge with Neil Gibbons, Rob Gibbons and Steve Coogan, Big Beacon
Marie Paruit, Little Big Feelings: When I Am Happy
Stella Paskins and Rod Vass, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles: Attack of the Time Spiders
Read 1992
***
Sujan Patel and Rob Wormley, Content Marketing Playbook: Master the Art of Content Marketing
Read 2016
**
No notes taken from this one, so my bitchy low rating might just be that it was too much of a beginner text, not necessarily unhelpful.
Leslie Patricelli, No No Yes Yes
Read 2019, re-read 2022
**
Leslie Patricelli, Baby Happy Baby Sad
Mike Pattenden, James Wallis and Tony Takoushi, Stay Sonic: The Ultimate Guide to the World of Sonic the Hedgehog
Read 2020
*
Gudrun Pausewang, Die Letzten Kinder von Schewenborn
Read 2003
***
Mervyn Peake, Titus Groan
Read 2010
***
Mervyn Peake, Gormenghast
Read 2015
***
Mervyn Peake, Titus Alone
Read 2015
**
Philippa Pearce, At the River-Gates and Other Supernatural Stories
John Peel, The Star Trek That Almost Was
John Peel, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Objective: Bajor
Nicholas Pegg, The Complete David Bowie: Expanded and Updated Sixth Edition
Read 2016
*****
Victor Pemberton, Doctor Who: Fury from the Deep
Read 2016
***
I couldn't be bothered sitting through another full six-part telesnap reconstruction. I was hoping that my imagination might result in a better looking episode too, but that faculty has evidently been destroyed by watching too much '60s Doctor Who - my mental base-under-siege was still claustrophobic and the weed creatures didn't amount to more than a bit of bubblebath and someone shaking some foliage from (mainly) out of shot.
We're back to the conventional Second Doctor formula again, but the seaside and industrial scenery help to make it superficially different. What most struck me - from the novel at least - was how grim and horrific it all is. Until the silly and soppy finale, it's practically Quatermass.
Lydia Pender, Sharpur, the Carpet Snake
Read 1992
***
Tom Percival, Ruby's Worry
Graham Percy (illustrator), The Three Billy Goats Gruff & The Three Little Pigs
Read 1989
****
*****
Arturo Pérez-Reverte, The Club Dumas
Read 2019
****
Joe Pernice, The Smiths' Meat is Murder
Read 2020
*
Charles Perrault, Histories or Tales from Past Times, with Morals or Mother Goose Tales
Read 2012
***
Emma Perry and Claire Alexander, Puddling
John M. Perry, The Jimi Hendrix Experience's Electric Ladyland
Read 2020
***
S. D. Perry, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Avatar, Book One
Read 2016
***
S. D. Perry, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Avatar, Book Two
Read 2016
***
S. D. Perry, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Rising Son
Read 2016
***
Steve Perry, Indiana Jones and the Army of the Dead
Read 2017
**
Neil and Sue Perryman, The Wife in Space, Volumes 1-8
Read 2015-16
****
Neil and Sue Perryman, Adventures with the Wife and Blake, Books 1 & 2
Read 2019
****
Neil and Sue Perryman, The Wife Has Been Assigned: Sapphire & Steel
Read 2020
***
Ellis Peters, A Morbid Taste for Bones
Read 2020
***
Ellis Peters, The Leper of Saint Giles
Read 2015
**
Stefan Petrucha and Charles Adlard, The X-Files: Firebird
Read 2019
****
Stefan Petrucha and Charles Adlard, The X-Files: Project Aquarius
Read 2020
****
Stefan Petrucha and Charles Adlard, The X-Files: The Haunting
Read 2020
***
Stefan Petrucha, John Rozum and Charles Adlard, The X-Files: Dead to the World
Stefan Petrucha, Jill Thompson and Alexander Saviuk, The X-Files: AfterFlight
Amanda Petrusich, Nick Drake's Pink Moon
Read 2020
**
Allan Rune Pettersson, Frankenstein's Aunt
Read 1998
**
Marcus Pfister, The Rainbow Fish
Simon Philip and Ella Bailey, I Don't Know What to Call My Cat
Simon Philip and Lucia Gaggiotti, I Really Want to Shout!
Alastair Phillips, Tokyo Story
Read 2022
Tamsin Pickeral and artists, Turner, Whistler, Monet
Tamsin Pickeral and Vincent van Gogh, Van Gogh
Jan Pieńkowski, Numbers
Jan Pieńkowski, Haunted House
Jan Pieńkowski, Wheels
Jan Pieńkowski, Yes No
Cameron Pierce, Lost in Cat Brain Land
Read 2015
**
Faves: 'Embryo Tree for Android,' 'Drain Angel.'
Worsties: 'Death of a Dog Eater,' 'Lazy Fascist.'
Bill Piggins, Ginn New Reading 360 Readers: Level 1 – Here / Help
Michael Piller, Fade In: The Making of Star Trek Insurrection – A Textbook on Screenwriting from Within the Star Trek Universe
Read 2020
****
Heather Pindar and Barbara Bakos, Froggy Day
Andrea Pinnington and Melanie Williamson, Pirate Polly: Potty
Pablo Pintachan, Changing Faces: Wake Up, Santa!
Luigi Pirandello, Six Characters in Search of an Author
Read 2015
**
Sorrel Pitts, Peppa Pig Ladybird Readers: In a Plane
Sorrel Pitts, My Little Pony Ladybird Readers: Pinkie's Pies / The Camping Holiday / A Great Night! / The Pony School News
Sorrel Pitts, My Little Pony Ladybird Readers: The Storm / Izzy's Presents / Where Is Sunny's Lantern? / Hitch Stops the Magic / Hitch Finds an Egg / Sparky, Where Are You?
Philip Plait, Bad Astronomy: Misconceptions and Misuses Revealed, from Astrology to the Moon Landing "Hoax"
Read 2011
****
Amanda H. Podany, The Ancient Near East: A Very Short Introduction
Read 2015
**
Edgar Allan Poe, The Complete Stories
Read 2017
*****
Ranking the Edgar Allan Poe stories
Edgar Allan Poe and Richard Corben, Edgar Allan Poe's Spirits of the Dead
Read 2015
***
Faves: 'The Fall of the House of Usher,' 'The Conqueror Worm.'
Worsties: 'The Assignation,' 'The Raven.'
Frederik Pohl, Gateway
Read 2020
***
Mark Polizzotti, Bob Dylan's Highway 61 Revisited
Read 2020
***
Paul Pope, 100%
Read 2007
**
Rob Pope, The English Studies Book: An Introduction to Language, Literature and Culture: Second Edition
Read 2004-07
***
Anthony Pople, Berg: Violin Concerto
Read 2020
***
Anthony Pople, Messiaen: Quatuor pour la fin du temps
Read 2020
****
Martin Popoff, Rush: The Illustrated History
Read 2015
***
A band I quite like, but knew very little about. This chronological sweep doesn't linger as long as I would have liked on detailed analysis of side-long concept suites, just the basics. Still, it's nice that it's so comprehensive and undeservedly balanced, giving all those post-1981 albums the same breathing room as the good ones. That's the spirit.
Martin Popoff and guests, Pink Floyd: Album by Album
Read 2020
****
Martin Popoff and guests, Iron Maiden: Album by Album
Read 2020
****
Jane Porter and Carolina Rabei, Let's Get Ready for School
Kjartan Poskitt and Alex Willmore, The Runaway Pea
Molly Potter and Sarah Jennings, How Are You Feeling Today?
Ezra Pound and T. E. Hulme, Ripostes of Ezra Pound; Whereto Are Appended the Complete Poetical Works of T. E. Hulme, With Prefatory Note
Read 2019
**
Supposedly the latent fascist's first exemplary collection before he became increasingly incomprehensible, most of this is disappointingly twee throwback full of lisping suffixes and only occasional economised cynicism.
The best part's the strange 'Adventures of Ned Flanders'-style appendix that pads out the page count with a handful of poems from someone more interesting.
Ezra Pound, Hugh Selwyn Mauberley
Read 2020
**
Fave: Mauberley IV.
Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic: A Sequel to The Colour of Magic
It's almost absolutely amazing, making inspired use of the format to teach some entry level Buddhism and conservation messages that hit home when you're the whale being harpooned or lion being caged, but each scenario is far too rushed to fully immerse yourself before moving on. I played through a few times to try out the various combinations of beasts of the land, air and sea, but never did end up as that shark.
Read 2022
**
Maybe her first prequel twist, I could see it coming from the start, but I was thirty-seven years old.
Read 2020
***
This wasn't one of my favourite Hitchcocks, but this enthusiastic making-of and close viewing makes me think it's probably one of the best and that the director was all he's built up to be after all. The suggestion that the head-pecking gulls predicted the Kennedy assassination is academic madness at its finest.
Read 2006
**
Someone's misguided recommendation, if I wasn't trying to get in her pants I wouldn't have persevered through a book I found so relentlessly annoying in its mass-market edginess.
Read 2020
***
Useful and less useful tips, some more patronising than others, some such as the reverse hoodie food trough presumably jokes, though it's not clear whether the credited "researcher" realised this when sourcing tips from reddit via Buzzfeed.
Read 2020
***
Useful tables of stats and troubleshooting Q&As bulked out with testimonials, explanations of why sleep is important and other blog posts. It might prove helpful. I should probably apply it to myself.
Read 2024
**
No productive excuses this time, just drawn by trashy nostalgia. A charming time capsule of retconned references and false assumptions in places, less so when singling out Geordi as "racially black" and thirsting over Tasha Yar.
***
Inconclusive supernatural teases seeking refuge from the confusing modern world in haunted(?) country manors, cursed(?) paintings and the bones of ancestors. The co-founder of Tartarus Press, the author wears her influences on her book sleeves.
Fave: 'Chanctonbury Ring'
Read 2023
**
More educational than I was expecting from a paleontological push, pull 'n' slide text.
Read 2011, re-read 2013, 2019*****
Re-re-read as part of a full 2010s Partridge revival rewatch(/read), this AGP sourcebook novelising familiar events from a warped or revisionist perspective and filling in the missing but perfectly-fitting pieces is the definitive Alan statement. It's also probably the funniest fictional book I've ever read. Not in the mood for maintaining the illusion, sorry. Maybe next time I'll finally get around to actually reading it with my eyes, but in-character audiobook narration is impossible to resist.
Alan Partridge with Rob Gibbons, Neil Gibbons and Steve Coogan, Nomad
Read 2016, re-read 2019****
More Alan in print was unlikely to be as good as his definitive second autobiography was, but I'm still delighted that they bothered. Like the near-contemporaneous Scissored Isle "documentary," it's a passionate Partridge inflamed by the delusion that he's got something worthwhile and challenging to say, while being ultimately opportunistic and self-absorbed. Diminishing returns or not, please keep them coming.
Read 2023-24
*****
With an innovative, experimental structure and supernatural leanings, Partridge soars to literary heights in what's either the second, third or fourth round of autobiography, it's a bit confusing and borderline incoherent at this point.
Read 2023
**
DIY child therapy, even includes a happiness meter.
***
Even at seven, I'd had enough disappointments with licensed franchise originals to lower my standards, so this one impressed me in its competence. So much that I decided it deserved an audiobook, so set about recording one on our Fisherprice junior tape deck. I then wanted to share this enthusiasm with my school chums, so brought the cassette in for Mrs Jones to play in our reading session. I realised within seconds that I'd made a huge mistake.
Read 2016
**
No notes taken from this one, so my bitchy low rating might just be that it was too much of a beginner text, not necessarily unhelpful.
Read 2019, re-read 2022
**
I'm approaching this modern-day board book without the nostalgia of having growing up cheering on its cheeky hero, but since it can't be bothered with the most basic plot segues to connect these vignettes, it's just a colourful attempt at a training aid. (I'll up the rating if it turns out to be a godsend).
Read 2022
**
It probably is for babies. She preferred Inside Out.
Read 2020
*
The Sonic writer's bible, spruced up with the bare minimum effort (variations on the same black-and-white sketches, boss tips and 1993 minor celebrity cameos) and sold to well-meaning parents. Sonic the Comic would retell these origin stories in more palatable comic form.
Read 2003
***
Still the only book I've read (collaboratively) in German, this falls into the same jolly category as When the Wind Blows and Threads, with the distinction that it's deliberately aimed at scaring the shit out of teenagers. It was a fitting choice for how I felt throughout A-level German.
Read 2010
***
I longed to get hopelessly lost in the castle, but it wasn't gripping me and my visits became less frequent. I picked up the trilogy where I left off after half a decade, having forgotten that it wasn't really my thing. Nice illustrations.
Mervyn Peake, Gormenghast
***
I can't remember exactly how deep I waded into this trilogy a few years back, but I don't think I graduated past Titus Groan, so I skipped to book two. The diminutive Earl is still only a small child at the start, so I probably didn't miss much. It's not the ravaging fires, floods and villainous plots I'm here for anyway, I'd be content just roaming the endless chambers and corridors of this expansive castle. I just hang around the main players so I don't get lost.
Mervyn Peake, Titus Alone
Read 2015
**
How's that for going out on a whimper? I don't even know why he bothered to put out this final volume, especially since trilogies weren't a contractual/social obligation yet, as he doesn't seem to have relished writing it. Apparently the author was dealing with a distressing mental condition at the time or something like that, so if it helped him to feel better or to raise vital capital by churning out further uninspired adventures of Titus Groan, I can forgive it. Though it would have been preferable if he hadn't completely abandoned what I liked about the series – the atmospheric castle setting – by sending Titus into the real, normal, 20th-century, boring world for awkward fish-out-of-water humour and humdrum peril.
Read 2021
****
Atmospheric, variably ambiguous and at one point downright creepy. One of the best in the boxset, but destined to be overlooked for its vagueness. Apparently, that's daddy on the cover.
Fave: 'Her Father's Attic'
Read 2022
**
Non-comprehensive synopses and assessments of adventures that were too silly or too serious to see the light of day in this reality. Expand it with further failures and you'd really have something.
Faves: 'Rockabye Baby, or Die,' 'He Walked Among Us.'
Read 2022
****
Supposedly conceived as a Borg story, publisher pusillanimity meant we had to settle for a more interesting, well-realised alien society instead. Suspend your disbelief that nothing of consequence is allowed to happen in print and there's a nice sense of doom that captures mid-period DS9 very well, as well as good sci-fi generally.
Read 2016
*****
I'm sure there are plenty of books out there if I wanted to read about David Bowie the man/androgyn/alien, but I'd rather read about the music in far too much detail thanks. There won't be a more exhaustive breakdown than this, which tackles the songography alphabetically for simplicity's sake. It's as good an arbitrary rule as any for skipping around the decades, and you can finally make use of that bewildering option on your music player to sort tracks by A-Z as you listen along... pausing and heading back to YouTube every other song to track down things too obscure even by your standards. It was close to a perfect score already, then I noticed it is the same Nicholas Pegg whose day job is rolling around as a Dalek. I'm not sure who's more the legend here.
Victor Pemberton, Doctor Who: Fury from the Deep
Read 2016
***
We're back to the conventional Second Doctor formula again, but the seaside and industrial scenery help to make it superficially different. What most struck me - from the novel at least - was how grim and horrific it all is. Until the silly and soppy finale, it's practically Quatermass.
Lydia Pender, Sharpur, the Carpet Snake
Read 1992***
The only one of the Ginn Reading 360 books that stood out as being worth reading on my own time (even if it was just to keep me busy when waiting for a belated pickup from school), it was noteworthy for its more substantial length (adapted from a proper book), comparative difficulty (I had to ask about "drawer"), and most of all the art, with its interrupted outlines, like they'd used the default brush on Deluxe Paint because they didn't know about the continuous one.
Read 2023
***
She got the emotion personification, but refused to see the monobrow as anything but an upside-down mouth.
Read 1989
****
These mildly unnerving takes on the repetitive classics are as definitive for me as whatever versions of fairy tales you happened to read or see by chance as a child, even if Graham's intepretation of the troll was a bit odd. They read the goat one on You and Me one time, which was obviously satisfying validation if I can still remember that detail despite not remembering what You and Me even was.
Andrew Peregrine and artists, My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria – The Haunting of Equestria
Read 2024
This adjustably spooky instalment is the best one we've played so far. Its higher level requirement for the characters also gives GMs a chance to gain enough experience to not be terrified by its more flexible approach, rather than jumping straight into the one with the exciting cover.
The writer has professionally penned RPG modules for decades, so I tried not to feel too intimidated that some people can turn the blank document into all this. But we're nearly out of adventures, and the next saga may be all random tables and Story Cubes.
Read 2019
****
A contrived literary indulgence about stuffy book lovers for stuffy book lovers, with a bonus Satanic edge for goths. He's no Umberto Eco, but if you sometimes miss being forced to read things academically, it scratches that same itch.
Read 2020
*
I never got into this particular Smiths album, for whatever reason, so hoped this appraisal might help me to remember and appreciate it. Unfortunately, the writer fancied himself a wild card and wrote an irrelevant fictional novella that gave him an excuse to perv over Lolitas instead. A waste of time, but at least not too much time.
Charles Perrault, Histories or Tales from Past Times, with Morals or Mother Goose TalesRead 2012
***
I was never aware of who wrote/curated public domain fairy tales as a child, nor that Perrault's were more than a century before the Grimms, but there are plenty of big names here (Puss, Red, 'Rella) and a fair distribution of boys' and girls' stories. Less sanitised than Disney, but he still leaves out some of the needlessly gory/rapey source details out of politeness.
Read 2022
****
We can't normally enjoy lovely pictures like these without them being captioned by too many words, but this kept things basic with plenty of room for discussion.
Read 2020
***
A short but interesting summary of the baggy, premature swan song. With chapters devoted to specific aspects of production, performance and reception before the track-by-track listen-along, it's everything I want from these books structurally, but so brief that it felt like I was only getting the preview.
S. D. Perry, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Avatar, Book One
Read 2016
I was hoping for an authentic season eight premiere, and apart from a gratuitous Next Gen interlude (like they'd get those actors back), they've delivered. This pops the cap off the loosely sealed finale and ploughs further along familiar furrows of mystical woo-woo, post-war blues and unwise romance. It's a shame that most of the good characters left in the finale, but Quark's still around, reliably free from character growth as ever, and his parts are predictably the most enjoyable. There are several uninspiring new characters I have eight more books to start caring about.
S. D. Perry, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Avatar, Book Two
Read 2016
Stories heavily focused on the Bajoran religion could be deadly dreary at times, but Ro's presence adds a refreshing secular twist, mm-mm! Considering Kira was originally created as a Ro substitute when Michelle Forbes declined to be involved in the series (try getting out of the books when Paramount owns your likeness), putting the two of them together works surprisingly well. S. D. Perry's trying her hardest to make us like these new multicultural cast replacements, but it's only the Jem'Hadar-out-of-water that's got me intrigued. For the least gripping story thread, I'll go with Ezri taking a long hard look at all nine of herselves and deciding her uniform should be a different colour.
S. D. Perry, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Rising Son
Read 2016
***
This is as clean a place to quit as any, as S. D. Perry returns to clear up what the pesky, meddling kid has been up to during the past seven books while everyone else was occupied with crossovers and bipolar quartets.
After all that overcrowding, stripping back to a single character's adventure was a relief, and I'm glad it was Jake's. He rarely got anything of substance to do on the series, probably due to real-life hindrances like child actor restrictions and education, but I always liked that they steered clear of the obvious Wesley Crusher/Mary Sue route by making the captain's son an aspiring writer rather than a hero. Here, he takes a gap year and tries his hand at being a criminal.
After all that overcrowding, stripping back to a single character's adventure was a relief, and I'm glad it was Jake's. He rarely got anything of substance to do on the series, probably due to real-life hindrances like child actor restrictions and education, but I always liked that they steered clear of the obvious Wesley Crusher/Mary Sue route by making the captain's son an aspiring writer rather than a hero. Here, he takes a gap year and tries his hand at being a criminal.
After so many pointless TNG callbacks in the previous books, it's also satisfying to see the nostalgia shift to the actual series they're supposed to be doing, with an abundance of references to the early years and the return of many old, familiar, differently-foreheaded faces. Things are finally heading in the right direction, but I'm only contracted for nine installments and I can only handle so much fan fic, officially licensed and dubiously canonical or otherwise.
Steve Perry, Indiana Jones and the Army of the Dead
Read 2017
Crystal Skull might have offended you, but the sole novel of the modern era (thus far) is much truer to the spirit of the original films. Like two thirds of those, it's about Indiana Jones racing Nazis to find a supernatural artifact in exotic climes.
The fact that the paranormal activity involves zombies may be too much for some readers to handle, presumably having forgotten all the weird shit that happens in the films (not to mention the earlier books). Personally, I appreciated the period-specific Voodoo zombis [sic], which are perfectly in tune with the horror literature of the time. I only rated it so low because it's not very good.
Did they plan to fill out the midquel canon with 11 more books like last time? Did Steve Perry's zombie outrage kill those plans dead, or do people just not pay to read licensed fan fiction any more now we have slash? It was probably for the best.
The fact that the paranormal activity involves zombies may be too much for some readers to handle, presumably having forgotten all the weird shit that happens in the films (not to mention the earlier books). Personally, I appreciated the period-specific Voodoo zombis [sic], which are perfectly in tune with the horror literature of the time. I only rated it so low because it's not very good.
Did they plan to fill out the midquel canon with 11 more books like last time? Did Steve Perry's zombie outrage kill those plans dead, or do people just not pay to read licensed fan fiction any more now we have slash? It was probably for the best.
Neil and Sue Perryman, The Wife in Space, Volumes 1-8
Read 2015-16
****
I still probably would have made it through classic Doctor Who solo, but watching along with someone who was finding it even more of a chore (and someone else providing interesting trivia) turned it into a treat. Especially the really shit ones.
Neil and Sue Perryman, Adventures with the Wife and Blake, Books 1 & 2Read 2019
****
When this series was good, it was great. The rest of the time, I could look forward to the colourful postmortem and imagining I was alive in the '70s.
Read 2020
***
These retro TV historians helped to make the difficult majority of Doctor Who and Blake's 7 more entertaining, so it was disappointing to only find out about this other sequel after I'd already struggled through the nonsensically drawn-out boring landmark show alone. Turns out I wouldn't have got much more out of it though, least of all clarifications.
Read 2020
***
The monastic double-act prefigures The Name of the Rose, but this mystery is less compelling. Like all good historical fiction, you laugh at the characters' zany obsessions, then realise it's just a variation on more familiar nonsense. It was mainly worth sitting through for Stephen Thorne's narration, the comforting voice of childhood audiobooks.
Ellis Peters, The Leper of Saint Giles
Read 2015
I feel the need to point out that 'Ellis Peters' is a pen name for Edith Pargeter, just because the gender imbalance of authors I'm reading is a bit embarrassing. Now that's out of the way, I didn't get a lot out of this book. I enjoyed the historical setting, which is familiar from The Pillars of the Earth – one of the only other historical novels I've read – and while I guess it was refreshing that a simple murder mystery in these circumstances didn't have to involve the clandestine scheming of royalty and clergy, the consequence is that it's pretty dull. There's been about one book per month that I listen to attentively but can barely remember immediately afterwards, and this can be April's.
Stefan Petrucha and Charles Adlard, The X-Files: Firebird
Read 2019
****
Stefan Petrucha's X-Files balances fan-appeasing authenticity and creative licence more successfully than your average tie-in comic. As a time capsule of the show's early years (produced during season two), there's some interesting incongruence, strange synchronicity and arguable foreshadowing, mainly because the writer knows his paranormal onions and these themes were bound to crop up sooner or later. The one-off stories are too short to really get going, but the three-parter's a fun alt-mythology romp, warped for the budget-free comics realm. Shame they don't look all that much like Mulder and Scully, but you can't have everything.
Read 2020
****
Petrucha's run of the classic comic is still probably the best of this franchise's expanded universes, but he doesn't half masturbate over his own conspiracy here (once again preempting the TV series by a year or two). The stand-alone story with its trepanning serial killer is the best of the bunch and would have made a legendary episode.
Stefan Petrucha and Charles Adlard, The X-Files: The Haunting
Read 2020***
It's a shame Stefan Petrucha's X-Files run had to end so soon, since he had a great handle on tone and character and could knock out some classic monsters-of-the-month (sometimes the humans are the real monsters, ahhh), once he got the conspiracy twaddle out of his system. Admittedly, his sentient video game story is down there at the bottom of the burning bin with similarly-themed TV episodes.
Read 2022
***
Three unsubtle creature features, some of which would almost make credible episodes.
Read 2022
***
This elusive straggler from Stefan Petrucha's worthwhile X-Files run was inevitably a bit of an anticlimax, riffing on over-familiar themes with a sentimental message, but it's been a while.
Read 2020
**
I was pleased that romanticising the artist's death didn't overshadow the music discussion as much as might be expected. I was less pleased by the final third being an extended car advert.
Read 1998
**
Since it was on the curriculum, this must have had more substance than your average genre parody, or we might as well have studied Star Wreck.
Read 2022
*
Lacking the pretty sparkles in ebook form, it's just a horrible fable of conformity for kids making their first fickle friendships. She likes fishies though, so we'll probably have to read it again.
Read 2024
*
Not much of a point or throughline, but maybe you like cats.
Read 2022
**
Overlong for its point. She's still a bit literal-minded for the symbolism.
Read 2024
***
Developers' guide for the painstaking mundanity simulation.
Maddox Philpot, Alice-May Bermingham, Kylie Hamley, Emily Bornoff and Lindsey Sagar, See, Touch, Feel ABC
**
I was curious about the gimmick and we haven't practised for a while. The inconsistent hand and foot art and even less frequent tableware crafts at least gave us something to talk about.
Read 2020
****
An insightful and inspirational tour with a trinity I hadn't thought to group, travelling the impressionistic purgatory between serene romanticism and grim modernism with ace light effects.
Read 2021
***
Impressive multi-angle obsessing, even if I would've preferred another contrived comparison of similar artists to explore the connections and vex the snobs.
Read 2021
**
I was supposed to curb the spending this year, but then I got tempted by another bulk buying offer and wasted the coveted final seat on yet another 1–10 counting book, because I thought it would pair nicely with the Wheels book. The sacrifices we make for OCD.
Read 2021, re-read 2022
*****
The pop-up book perfected, around the level of WereBears on the list of things I wish I'd had as a child. Sadly too irresponsibly disturbing to add to the family library just yet, but bookmarked for future corruption.
Read 2021
*
The better half of the Meg and Mog partnership also drew some books about things. This is one of those. I was expecting a bit more than an illustrated vocab list, though I'm not sure why.
Read 2021
***
I assume it was retitled from the more fitting Opposites when all young readers obsessed over the yes/no page. More worthwhile than another colours or shapes book, even if some of the comparisons are a bit strange and some images not especially helpful.
Read 2015
**
Enough mucking around in the past, let's see what today's alternative short story writers are up to. Oh, grisly deaths, mutilations and generally fucked-up nightmarescapes, is it? That's nice. I should cut the writer some slack for barely being in his 20s when he unleashed this mingin opus on the world, but if you're not totally on the guy's wavelength, there isn't much on offer. If you've ever been part of a creative writing class/group, you might have had a Cameron Pierce. My groups usually did, and it wasn't even me.
Faves: 'Embryo Tree for Android,' 'Drain Angel.'
Worsties: 'Death of a Dog Eater,' 'Lazy Fascist.'
Read 2024
*
She was naughty, so I made her read vintage Dingle School reading books as punishment. We're sadly missing the infamous Look, but you can just read the first page of Here eight times for the same effect. I also regrettably wasn't able to find ones with the original art to make reading even more off-putting for life.
Read 2020
****
I don't know whether this is the most comprehensively documented 'Trek film, but between this introspective writer's journey, the general making-of book, covering the directing in Star Trek: Action!, the souvenir magazine and following the production in real time, it's the one I'm the most disproportionately familiar with behind the scenes. Piller intended this more as a guide for fellow writers than a 'Trek reference book, but it ended up being among the most interesting of the latter, from its insider insights (too honest for publication in his lifetime) to how much llama rental would cost you in 1998.
Read 2022
**
Some familiarity with weather reports and the surrealist movement might have seen her at least crack a smile.
Read 2022
***
More well-received potty propaganda, but being in public meant there was no interactive benefit, and by the time we got home, any enthusiasm had trickled away. A shame, as the aesthetic choices and indoctrinating cheers might have helped.
Read 2023
*
Nice gimmick, shame about the content.
**
Well then, that just about covers the whole world, so time to stop pulling my hair out trying to find literary classics from countries that are more concerned with where the next meal's coming from than innovating a poncy art movement, and to take another cultural tour of Europe. This one here is some pretty nice, influential, self-aware playwright masturbation, it's just a shame it's so boring.
Read 2022
**
I thought I'd struck a limited vein of gold when I spotted these easy-reading TV tie-ins with engaging quizzes at the back, but the plots lose something in the simplification, along with some inexplicable Americanizations.
Read 2022-23
**
Changing established names in pursuit of readability is just weird. The quizzes add value, but they're always the same.
Read 2023
**
The adaptations lack some nuance when simplified almost to haikus, but this is more precocious preschool reading practice, teasing her with interactive elements I can't access because I'm not school.
Philip Plait, Bad Astronomy: Misconceptions and Misuses Revealed, from Astrology to the Moon Landing "Hoax"Read 2011
****
I was following the Bad Astronomer's blog at the time, and was happy to find one of his books at Singapore Library for more structured myth-busting and Hollywood griping in that same conversational vein. Some of his bugbears are important, some don't really matter much at all, but it would be better if people could stop being idiots generally.
Amanda H. Podany, The Ancient Near East: A Very Short Introduction
**
The Very Short Introduction. The refuge of the unimaginative. Are you saying there are no writers worth your time in any of these several countries? Why not brush up on some of the huge, significant things happening in these places right now, rather than retreating to the safety of history? 'Near East' in relation to the important places, I take it? No doubt written by... oh, it's a woman. You're off the hook this time. At least it's not the comic version.
Read 2017
*****
Ranking the Edgar Allan Poe stories
Edgar Allan Poe and Richard Corben, Edgar Allan Poe's Spirits of the Dead
Read 2015
***
Since I'm not as familiar with Poe as I should be, it can be hard to tell where the faithful adaptation ends and the fanciful extrapolation begins. Except when it's really obvious and dumb. Richard Corben's characters are still amusingly grotesque, but his line art is less enthralling than his weird watercolours, and if you're going to use a computer to colour it in, I'd rather you left it black and white. It seems that most of the pleasure of Poe lies in the flowery style rather than the not-particularly-shocking-any-more substance, so I should have just read that.
Faves: 'The Fall of the House of Usher,' 'The Conqueror Worm.'
Worsties: 'The Assignation,' 'The Raven.'
Read 2020
***
I loved the mysterious premise and the journeys into the unknown, but wasn't so hot on the angsty, horny travel companion we were burdened with, who was determined to make it all about them. Give me a dry astro any day.
Read 2020
***
Biographical background and speculations about a bunch of songs. It's not something you really need a guide to help you appreciate, but they even have ones for Andrew W.K. and New Kids on the Block, so it'd be weird to skip him.
Read 2007
**
Insisting that his pet project isn't a graphic novel but a 'graphic movie' reveals not only a lack of awareness for tautologies, but also an inflated ego that puts even more pressure on the story to impress. It didn't.
Read 2004-07
***
This is still recommended on my university course today. It never felt that indispensible to me, just a useful source of definitions and introductory quotes for essays when I couldn't be arsed to dig up sources myself.
Read 2020
***
I'm grateful to now be less clueless about the transition from tradition to vague modernity in this branch of the arts, but I'm still too much of a novice to get Berg, even with a companion guiding me through the tangled forest.
Anthony Pople, Messiaen: Quatuor pour la fin du temps
Read 2020****
Streamlining the compulsory context to spend more time on the movement-by-movement breakdown is how these companions should all go about it, though some works just don't have as much going on to get eleven pages out of a 2:44 intro. Building on the composer's own brief descriptions, each chapter mixes things up a little to cover the symbolic, literal, Biblical, mathematical, autobiographical and synaesthetic significance. Much of it's over my head, but I admired the view.
Martin Popoff, Rush: The Illustrated History
***
A band I quite like, but knew very little about. This chronological sweep doesn't linger as long as I would have liked on detailed analysis of side-long concept suites, just the basics. Still, it's nice that it's so comprehensive and undeservedly balanced, giving all those post-1981 albums the same breathing room as the good ones. That's the spirit.
Read 2020
****
A pleasing package of communal contemplations. No earth-shattering revelations, but a great excuse to indulge in a marathon. Here's hoping Popoff's reliable formula is eventually extended to every band out there.
Martin Popoff and guests, Iron Maiden: Album by Album
Read 2020****
A bunch of Iron Maiden fans, some more famous than others, one of whom was actually in Iron Maiden, natter away through the comprehensive discography. There's some interesting trivia and streamlined band history along the way, like you'd find in other books, but it's mainly just people's worthless, enjoyable opinions about stuff. Even the bad albums get their fair shake.
Read 2022
***
Extremely carefully worded and practical advice, most of it relevant to preschool too. Off she goes.
Read 2022
**
You don't really need me to explain.
Read 2023
***
Surprisingly helpful defuser, so much that we reborrowed.
**
Supposedly the latent fascist's first exemplary collection before he became increasingly incomprehensible, most of this is disappointingly twee throwback full of lisping suffixes and only occasional economised cynicism.
The best part's the strange 'Adventures of Ned Flanders'-style appendix that pads out the page count with a handful of poems from someone more interesting.
Read 2020
**
Only notable for making Eliot's epic look a little less inventive, this less quotable, more self-absorbed, insufferably élite epitaph for the cultural wasteland didn't work for me. I only liked the bit at the end where he dies and we get some peace. I don't think he's showing off, just refusing to dumb down. It's elaborate old-school Twitter.
Fave: Mauberley IV.
Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic: A Sequel to The Colour of Magic
Read 2005
***
My brother and various other people I came across had assorted Discworld books between them, and I eventually caved and bought a few from a charity shop. This was the only one I read at the time, which isn't the smartest thing to do if you haven't read the book it's a direct sequel to and that the characters you're suddenly expected to be familiar with keep referring to. I like his way with words, but it didn't do much for me. Even as someone who'd recently re-read all of Narnia, I felt I was a bit old for it.
Read 2021
****
As a young fan of the morbid personification, I was aware of this book seemingly forever before getting around to it, and it pulls off the theological comic fantasy drama very well. The series has a shallow well of stock characters, even when they're not officially recurring, but the eponymous apprentice is one of their better incarnations.
Read 2021
**
I couldn't resist the price per story of this seemingly arbitrary and incomplete omnibus, but hadn't been looking forward to further Rincewind tales after the first one put me off reading a second Discworld book for a decade or so. After reading some (slightly) later books, this seemed disappointingly light on the trademark wit and not entertaining generally, unless you're actually into the story. It would probably be more palatable as animation.
Terry Pratchett, Pyramids
***
My infrequent visits to the Discworld had never been as rewarding as the brochure hyped. I enjoy the writing style, it's just all the events and people it's describing that I don't really care about. This one wasn't doing much better in the first half until the mystical sci-fi came out in full force and threatened to convert me, to the point that I invested in several more discount omnibi for the overflowing shelves. Better not be a fluke.
Read 2021
**
I didn't read the original illustrated version, which is surely more worthwhile. Along with the brevity, that would've been a more fitting format for these generally. A shame the story itself was just a straightforward literary parody sequence, though the bit about eternity was clever.
Read 2021
***
The low-key pastoral pottering of Discworld's breakout personification will doubtless be one of the series' highlights, but the juxtaposed ensemble mayhem was typically tedious.
Read 2021
****
Daft philosophy and elementary scepticism for kids that doesn't rain on your prayed, since being stubbornly rational in an unambiguously supernatural world would look as foolish as a late period Dana Scully. It'd make a nice overture to the series if you read it first, though also setting a benchmark of maturity that follow-ups would be statistically unlikely to meet.
Read 2015
***
Discworld #14, Witches #4, this selection was as arbitrary as can be (first one I came across), so presumably a fair representation of the series in general. Parachuting newcomers are helped out with plenty of backstory along the way, but this would obviously work best when read in its proper sequence, by which time you also wouldn't be discombobulated by all the jumping around between various plots concerning witches, wizards, toffs, trolls and elves. I wasn't really into these stories or their characters, but it was all well worth reading for the narrator/author's ingenious way with words. Not a million light years away from Hitchhiker's Guide then, I should have read these when I was a teenager too.
Read 2021
**
I was enjoying these until now, but with Death largely in the shadows, it was just another run-of-the-mill thematic Discworld book, and I'm not really into those.
Read 2021
****
The first Rincewind book I've really enjoyed, and one of the better Discworlds generally, this might be down to Terry P's writing maturing, its take on Chinese alt-history and notions of civilisation and revolution being more interesting than the customary stock fantasy adventures, or even just the glut of puns.
Read 2021
**
A fortuitously-timed festive special at the chronological climax of my trilogy of trilogies, this was a thoughtful exploration of its theme as ever, once again let down by the need for actual plot. I'm even bored of the good characters now.
Read 2015
Succinct and amusing musings on writing, fantasy, rationalism, hats and death. I always admired Terry Pratchett, but also felt guilty that I didn't enjoy his stuff as much as I should, and not only because I wanted one of those colourful Discworld bookshelves. It could just be that I didn't give it enough of a chance, or try the best – apart from the Good Omens collaboration, I've only read a couple of the early Discworlds that the author specifically encourages new readers to skip so they can get to the good ones. I'll make sure to remedy that soon, but I'm going to feel pretty lousy if it isn't my cup of tea. Still, when has that ever stopped me from persevering?
Read 2022
***
Like a fool, I'd watched the arty vampire remake without contemplating its basis in Silent Generation trauma and cosmopolitan psychogeography. Whether insightful or over-the-top, it was nice to revisit futile academia without the pressure.
Read 2022
***
Lessons in paying attention, the value of book learning and sloths.
Read 2020, re-read 2020, 2021
**
Exploding the sensory boundaries of literature with our first textured book, it runs out of ideas surprisingly quickly, considering they only had to come up with four. I wouldn't have gone with milk, personally. She likes displaying it around the place like it's a birthday card.
Read 2020, re-read 2020, 2021
**
Baby's Sight Test is more rewarding for the proud observer than the participant, but she seemed pleased with herself. Like Where's Wally, it only has a limited lifespan before they've committed the solutions to memory, but you can improvise.
Read 2021
*
She's got enough of these already (and better illustrated), but this one was advertised as coming with matching cards. As expected and hoped for, the eBay used book giant refunded rather than going through the hassle of a return, so I can't complain. I just drew the cards myself.
Read 2020
**
There's little substance to the pioneering country rock album itself, so we all but ignore that for a selective history of all the extracurricular decadence that was going on when they weren't making it, unhelpfully organised into themed chapters to appear more interesting.
Read 2021
***
This Norwegian franchise had passed me by before now. I can't tell whether I would have really been into it back when I was reading Narnia and the like, but I found its quirky rural reluctant-magical escapism quite lovely.
Read 2020***
Revealing insights on how big brands have been reaping the long-term rewards of content marketing while you've managed the occasional reluctant blog post and wondered why no one's reading your plagiarised crap. If these predictions are right, it's comforting to know that my job's probably relatively safe, even if I need to up my game sometimes.
Philip Pullman, Northern Lights
Read 2008, re-read 2012, 2019*****
This appeared in bookshops in the summer of '95, when I was nine years old, fresh from the Narnia books and perfectly poised for a more mature, complex and sinister fairy story. It's a shame it'd take me over a decade to get around to it then, but I'm not so irredeemably lost to the adult world to not find it blissfully enchanting. I can't say I got anything more out of it after reading its dreary prequel, except that it made me appreciate this book's perfect pacing even more.
Philip Pullman, The Subtle Knife
Read 2008, re-read 2012, 2019*****
The first time through, this was the book I enjoyed the most, its real-world urban fantasy giving off nostalgic CBBC drama vibes. Since then, those humdrum sections have been the least interesting part of the saga by far, and along with its disparate plots, some patronising exposition monologues and preoccupation with setting up the end, there's no doubt it's the weakest of the trilogy. But still a compelling expansion that never loses momentum and has plenty of memorable moments and subtle life lessons along the way.
Philip Pullman, The Amber Spyglass
Read 2009, re-read 2012, 2019
*****
Arguably too dark and complex for kids, nine-year-old me who didn't read the first book when it came out would have suitably grown into this one in real time. It became my favourite of the series the last time around, but now I prefer the innocent wonder of the first book. I'll keep cycling.
The common criticism is that Pullman goes full evangelical atheist in this one, from those who somehow missed that the Church was the antagonist all along and who are too indoctrinated in their specific establishment's trappings to entertain a different point of view. There's more to appreciate than God-botherer-bothering though, with an exotic bestiary making up for the comparatively drab setting of the previous book and literary and mythological allusions out in full force. There's also the romance angle for chicks, I guess.
The common criticism is that Pullman goes full evangelical atheist in this one, from those who somehow missed that the Church was the antagonist all along and who are too indoctrinated in their specific establishment's trappings to entertain a different point of view. There's more to appreciate than God-botherer-bothering though, with an exotic bestiary making up for the comparatively drab setting of the previous book and literary and mythological allusions out in full force. There's also the romance angle for chicks, I guess.
Read 2019
***
Inessential but nice to have, this is a stand-alone episode rather than a detached epilogue, but the consequences of those events are still catching up with our maturing hero. I didn't bother reading it until now. Assorted scrapbook pieces help to justify its existence.
Read 2019
****
Wholesome Texan aëronaut Lee Scoresby and his bear buddy were the breakout double-act of Pullman's epic, and here's where it began. A more entertaining prequel than La Belle Sauvage, this time the adult undercurrent concerns corrupt politicians stoking anti-immigrant sentiment. It may be a slim children's book about a balloonist, but it's not all light reading. Bonus star for including a board game.
Philip Pullman, The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ
Read 2015
**
His Dark Materials took some excellent, Hollywood-franchise-squashing stabs at organised religion, but this plainer re-imagining of the story of Jesus and his twin brother Christ (neither, one or both of whom may be fictitious) doesn't fire the imagination in the same way. It's all downhill from the provocative title, with most of it being slightly skewed or even verbatim scenes from the gospels before these accounts were exaggerated by their chroniclers, featuring opportunistic scheming and 'miracles' that are at best ambiguous placebos and at other times outright fabricated as a means to an end. It's academically interesting, but as far as making the subject entertaining, it's no 'Sunday Heroes.'
Read 2021
****
The best and most tangential entry in the His Dark Materials miscellany, which turns out to be ripe for freeform expansion after all, as long as he's the one doing it.
Read 2019
***
This new trilogy was apparently long-awaited by people who think that expanding on completed works is a good idea, and it's as comparable to the beloved originals as prequel afterthoughts tend to be. It's nice to spend more time in the world of dæmons, but this new volume doesn't pull its considerable weight with fresh ideas of its own beyond lessons on indoctrination and thoughtcrime that would be more valuable if the main audience this time around wasn't the grown-up fan base.
Philip Pullman, The Secret Commonwealth
Read 2019
****
I re-read Pullman's classic trilogy in-between the prequel and this sequel, so got more out of the continuing story of the almost-grown-up Lyra and Pantalaimon, respectively, than I did its scene-setting predecessor. It's similarly slow and ponderous, and the unambiguously magical setting feels considerably more humdrum and non-escapist than it did in Lyra's dimension-hopping youth. This is, of course, Pullman's heavy-handed point, and although it makes for a much duller and disposable trilogy, I'm still on board and the finale's likely going to be my most eagerly-awaited book of the next few years, credulous fanboy that I evidently am.
Read 2021
***
An insubstantial interlude to perk us up between publications or if you're just desperate for more. I'll read them all.
Read 2023
**
Deleted snippets and unwritten sketches jazzed up for desperate completists.
Read 2022
**
She liked the animal cover. I may have skipped over the paranormal and apocalyptic stuff and made it a pleasant zoological cruise instead. She's two.
Read 2023
**
Why is Bug's species so vague?
Read 2024
*
Slap some horns on and she'll read anything.
Read 2023
**
Replaces the customary activities with more story, as if the activities aren't the main attraction.
Read 2023
****
Like The Young Ones, if they were vague justice-dispensing animal things.
Read 2022
**
Original fairy tales and crap verse with old-timey morals and some satisfying strangeness.
Faves: 'The Skillful Huntsman,' 'Clever Peter and the Two Bottles,' 'Hans Hecklemann's Luck'
Read 2007, re-read 2015, 2016
*****
This was probably my favourite book I pretended to read at university. The entry representing postmodernism in American literature, it naturally came towards the end of my final year, by which point the prospect of sitting down to read less than 200 pages over a week was evidently too daunting. It sounded good in the online notes and blagged seminar discussion though, and I planned to get around to it eventually. Dealing with overwhelming paranoia in a funny rather than harrowing way, it's like a saner Illuminatus! that doesn't leave me worrying why I can never get past the first third of something that ought to be right up my street. I especially liked how every other character has an unrealistically symbolic surname, like its universe is shared with that other postmodern masterpiece, Bottom.
Thomas Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow
****
The spiritual successor to Ulysses, I spared myself the effort of trying to follow the various side quests of the gargantuan ensemble and just let the soothing paranoia wash over me during nocturnal listens. I can tell you the basic plot, but only because Wikipedia's summary was filling me in along the way. Maybe one to read again when I'm older and have more time on my... when I'm older.
Q
Quark as told to Ira Stephen Behr and Robert Hewitt Wolfe, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Legends of the Ferengi
Read 1997-98***
Desperate and not entirely convincing justifications for 'rules' originally tossed out as situation-specific one-liners by the series' comic relief character, this was probably a fun writing exercise for DS9's head writers. It might also have helped to reign in some of the silliness of the already indulgent Ferengi episodes to spare us, before it bubbled up again in later seasons when book concepts like Slug-O-Cola would be canonised.
Read 2005
**
Someone bought me this for my birthday when I was visiting London, but there wasn't enough time left to go and see anything. Never mind, it didn't last anyway. eBayed.
R
Read 2024
**
Patronising edutainment crossover. I was debating whether I needed to struggle through the more squarely kid-oriented book ranges to complete this era, but I'll let myself off the hook.
Read 2015
***
It's not my wife's fault that she was born in the Asian country with the worst food. But if she was Indian, I'd have the postcolonial guilt to deal with, so it's probably for the best, he tries to convince himself. We don't exactly have loads of Indian immigrants over here either, stealing menial jobs that pay as badly as their own country and opening up heavenly restaurants for our pleasure, but this DIY guide is handily American-centric, and that's the country the Philippines improbably aspires to be, so we should be fine.
Faves: Samosa, pakora, naan, all the curries.
Worsties: The boiled milk 'n' lime "cheese" looks completely mingin'.
Faves: Samosa, pakora, naan, all the curries.
Worsties: The boiled milk 'n' lime "cheese" looks completely mingin'.
Lucian Randall, Disgusting Bliss: The Brass Eye of Chris Morris
Read 2015
Chris Morris gave reluctant permission for this awestruck biography to be produced, but thankfully declined to be interviewed himself – so if you do feel let down by its portrait of a reasonably grounded and polite family man where there was previously a cultivated enigma, there's still a chance that none of it's true. For fans of The Day Today, Brass Eye and the rest, there's a wealth of behind-the-scenes insights and only a little bit of fanboy quoting (mercifully, the chronicler doesn't ruin things by trying be funny himself), and all but the most obsessive disciples are bound to come away with a list of obscure gems to google.
Ronne Randall and Richard Merritt, My Very First Storytime: The Three Billy Goats Gruff
***
You'd be a pretty lax parent if you waited until they were able to grasp some of this vocabulary and do the finger maze before you read them any other stories, but this is a nice addition to her fairy tale canon, especially with the annual-style puzzles at the end. The memory of my own childhood version adds bonus nostalgia, though this troll is less nightmare-inducing.
Read 2018
***
I'm not the biggest fan of mudder mysteries, but it was alright. Though totally unsolvable until Rankin decides you can have the essential missing pieces now in that Agatha Christie way.
Read 2010
***
I have a literature degree, for god's sake. Rankin was on the list of supposedly funny authors I had to get around to eventually, and this story of a twisted toytown was weird enough to keep me going to the end, but I was occasionally ashamed.
Read 2014
**
Remember before you got comfortable with ebooks, when you had to settle for what was on the shelf? I take issue with my defence at the time that "it was the least unappealing thing I could identify in the only bookshop on the island," but maybe things really were that dire. More tragically, this was the sequel to a mediocre juvenile fantasy I'd already read a few years earlier. I came back for more! I am the problem.
Alex Raymond, Flash Gordon, Volume One: "Mongo, the Planet of Doom"
****
Reading this serialised stream-of-consciousness out of context and seeing our tireless hero vanquish monsters, racist stereotypes and other relentless perils in his pants was hilarious, then eventually tedious.
Read 2024
**
Polar bear friendship lesson. Her school books are a bit less adventurous than her usual stuff.
Read 2022
**
Lovely art, let's focus on the positives.
Read 2024
**
I didn't know 'Quick Reads' was a synonym for 'Early Readers,' but probably should have guessed. Quite the letdown after Touched by an Angel.
Read 2020**
Like a procrastinating student seeking escape in displacement activities as the deadline looms, a Wong Kar-wai superfan and insider is seemingly so troubled by the short page count he's allocated to fit everything in that he wastes almost half of it on completely pointless synopsis to spite himself. The rest briefly covers the aesthetic and production and dabbles in symbolism, but much of that didn't exactly need pointing out either.
Read 1992
**
Presumably an adaptation, I think this was the book I had on the London museum trip when there was a lunar eclipse, so it's one of the few childhood reads I can date precisely outside of Christmas annuals. It kept me occupied for all of a few minutes, I was more engaged with my Bugs colouring book story, whatever that was. Having a bit of a Bugs day.
Norman Redfern and Arkadia, Biker Mice from Mars: Noisy Book
Read 1994
**
Either I'd become a little more discerning in my viewing habits by this point or I was just distracted by computer games, but I wasn't familiar with the Biker Mice. Nor was my three-year-old brother, I suspect, when he requested this as a Christmas gift so he could enjoy pressing the buttons at home rather than in the shop every fortnight. I read it through properly at least once, pressing the correct buttons when instructed to hear the appropriate sounds, as if I even needed to with repetition already having drilled "brrm, brrm, brrm, brrm," "screech," "ploo-plip-plip, ploo-plip-plip" and the rest into my bloody mind forever.
Janice G. Redish, Letting Go of the Words: Writing Web Content that Works, Second Edition
Read 2015
****
I've been a professional web content writer of some description for almost six years, so I thought it might be about time I did some extracurricular reading and actually try to improve my skills like those other, proper professionals do. I can't tell if it's a good thing that I didn't really learn anything new that hasn't already been drilled in and generally osmosed. This guide is basically definitive, packed with useful examples, and follows its own advice by presenting everything simply, succinctly and with absolutely no off-putting paragraphs. You'll learn everything you needed to know about writing engaging, modern copy for 2012... come to think of it, the workload has been on a bit of a decline since then. Any time you want to release that third edition then. Please.
Read 2020
**
These children's songs aren't really begging for analysis, so the duo take turns on chapters covering the post-cool band's history and random tangents. Their enthusiasm's cute, at least.
Read 2023
**
The game was the least interesting aspect of the show, and this DIY dilution seems awkward and fiddly, but their Viz-style top tips elsewhere gave some chuckles.
Read 1999
*****
One of the best Star Trek reference works, I would have exchanged all the technical manuals and other superfluous publications for another volume or two of insightful concept sketches, adorably recycled props and gorgeously unconvincing matte paintings.
Judith & Garfield Reeves-Stevens, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Millennium, Book I – The Fall of Terok Nor
***
After a few years cavorting with other wormholes, I got back into Deep Space Nine when they started releasing the DVDs. As a prelude to the 'season eight' novels (that I wouldn't get around to for a long time), I invested in this giant paperback trilogy of what sounded like an epic plot... then was dismayed to get bored after book one. The Reeves-Stevenses are dab hands at writing servicable Trek, but not entertaining Trek.
Read 2021–22
***
Interactive rhymes, cameos from less celebrated critters and a surprise ending made this an early favourite library book. The many variations are better than reading literally the same one every time, I suppose.
Read 2003***
When my German (not actually German) teacher found out I was studying First World War literature in another subject, he encouraged me to read this to get the German perspective (in English, I wasn't that dedicated). It wasn't any different, which was maybe the point he was making. Could have saved me the time, but it probably helped me to look clever and proactive on an exam. I made it all the way through, which is more than I can say for Birdsong.
Read 2022
***
Juvenile gore porn? Self-aware satire? Slap on some death metal and take what you want. It briefly became deliriously funny with the introduction of the Gimp and the turn-of-the-millennium CG art was specialised nostalgia.
Read 2024
Ideas for a distant birthday.
Read 2018
****
It's been a few years since I rediscovered and thoroughly loved this series, long enough that most of the contrived crescendos and exasperated exclamations were new to me again. It may be a sequence of episodes knitted together by flimsy segues, but so are most novels. This has the distinct advantage of knowing which episodes work in advance.If the cover and blurbs hadn't given its origins away, the snappy dialogue might, which is much too vigorous to be bound up in a book. But then there's the world-weary narration that paints each scene in such rich sardonic tones, you wonder how they'd get by without it. And as if the stuff with dead animals would have been allowed on a television "comedy" anyway! I don't believe it.
Lukas Resheske, The Copywriting Business Formula: How to Build a $250,000/year Freelance Copywriting Business from Scratch, Volume One
Read 2020**
In a freelance business, time you don't spend earning is time you're spending. Don't I know it. There are lots of valid points here about taking control, focusing on your strengths and going niche that I've worked out over my decade as a freelance writer, but I prefer my laid-back, low-budget approach over aggressively pursuing the big bucks. It's a shame this guy's so dedicated to efficiency that he didn't bother to turn these transcribed chapter summaries into a proper book.
Leah Rewolinski and Harry Trumbore, Star Wreck: The Generation GapRead 1998
*
Regrettably, I actually found this lowest-common-denominator parody funny at twelve, where gags are on the level of renaming 'Scotty' to 'Snotty' (LOL!) and having the tractor beam come out of an actual farm tractor (LMFAO!!!). It wasn't funny, I just felt comforted that I was in on a shared joke. A really shit joke (that apparently spawned six sequels).
Michael Reynier, Five Degrees of Latitude
Read 2020
****
Fave: 'Sika Tarn'
Michael Reynier, Horthólary: Tales from Montagascony
Alastair Reynolds, Revelation Space
Read 2019
***
Alastair Reynolds, Doctor Who: Harvest of Time
Read 2018
****
Graham Reynolds, Constable's England
Read 2020
****
Mack Reynolds, Star Trek: Mission to Horatius
Read 1999
*
Anne Rice, Interview with the Vampire
Read 2016
***
Morgan Robertson, Futility (a.k.a. The Wreck of the Titan)
Read 2020
***
M. P. Robertson, The Egg
Alexandra Robinson, I'm a Reader!: Mermaid School
Andrew J. Robinson, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – A Stitch in Time
Read 2015
***
Hilary Robinson and Nick Sharratt, Mixed Up Fairy Tales
Michelle Robinson and Tom Knight, When Jelly Had a Wobble
Spider Robinson, Callahan's Crosstime Saloon
Read 2018
***
Alfredo and Grace Roces, Culture Shock! Philippines: A Survival Guide to Customs and Etiquette (Eighth Edition)
Read 2015
**
"When you are offered a boiled duck's egg with a half-incubated chick inside, you will not offend if you decline gently and politely."
Gene Roddenberry, Star Trek is...
Read 2020
****
"She is very female, disturbingly so."
Gene Roddenberry, Star Trek: The Next Generation Writer/Director's Guide
Read 2020
***
Robyn Magalit Rodriguez, Migrants for Export: How the Philippine State Brokers Labor to the World
Read 2015
***
Jeffrey T. Roesgen, The Pogues' Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash
Read 2020
**
Sax Rohmer, The Mystery of Dr. Fu Manchu
Read 2016
**
Nicholas Rombes, Ramones
Read 2020
**
Jon Ronson, Them: Adventures with Extremists
Read 2014, re-read 2023
*****
Jon Ronson, The Men Who Stare at Goats
Read 2014
****
Jon Ronson, Out of the Ordinary: True Tales of Everyday Craziness
Read 2020
***
Jon Ronson, What I Do: More True Tales of Everyday Craziness
Read 2020
***
Jon Ronson, The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry
Read 2015
*****
Jon Ronson, Lost At Sea: The Jon Ronson Mysteries
Read 2015
****
Jon Ronson, So You've Been Publicly Shamed
Read 2015
***
Jon Ronson, The Elephant in the Room
Read 2016
****
Even rushed out as a Kindle Single, Ronson's inside perspective on the way the 2016 US election was blowing via crackpot swing voters came too late and was too insubstantial to make a difference, but it's still reliably entertaining.
Claire Philip and Jessica Rose, Unicorn Stories: The Unicorn and the Lost Cat / And the Wild Horses
Phil Rose, Roger Waters and Pink Floyd: The Concept Albums
Read 2020
****
David Rosen, Verdi: Requiem
Read 2020
***
Michael Rosen, Smacking My Lips
Michael Rosen and Bob Graham, I'm Number One!
Michael Rosen and Kevin Waldron, Chocolate Cake
Michael Rosen and Robert Starling, I Am Hungry
Richard Rosenbaum, Raise Some Shell: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Read 2020
****
Amy Krouse Rosenthal and Brigette Barrager, Uni the Unicorn
Tony Ross, The Little Princess series
Rose Rossner and Morgan Huff, I Love You, My Little Unicorn
Megan Roth and Agnes Garbowska, My Little Pony: Sunny's Day / Izzy Comes Home
William Rotsler, Star Trek II: Distress Call!
Read 2020
*
William Rotsler, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock – Short Stories
Read 2020
**
Lucy Rowland and Mark Byrne, Unicorns Don't Love Sparkles
Lucy Rowland and Mike Byrne, Who Did a Wee? Wait and See!
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Read 1998
**
John Rozum, Kevin J. Anderson, Gordon Purcell and Charles Adlard, The X-Files: Night Lights
Read 2020
***
John Rozum, Charles Adlard and Gordon Purcell, The X-Files: Internal Affairs
Read 2020
**
John Rozum and Charles Adlard, The X-Files: Remote Control
Read 1998, re-read 2020
**
John Rozum and Alex Saviuk, The X-Files: Skin Deep
Read 2020
**
Jacqueline Rubin, Naturally Healthy First Foods for Baby: The Best Nutrition for the First Year and Beyond
Read 2020
****
Rudy Rucker, The 4th Dimension: Toward a Geometry of Higher Reality
Read 2019
****
Andy Runton, Owly: The Way Home & The Bittersweet Summer / Just a Little Blue
Salman Rushdie, The Satanic Verses
Read 2015
***
Salman Rushdie, The Wizard of Oz
Julian Rushton, Berlioz: Roméo et Juliette
Read 2020
***
Julian Rushton, Elgar: Enigma Variations
Read 2020
****
Gary Russell, Doctor Who: The Glamour Chase
Mary Doria Russell, Doc
Read 2016
*****
R. B. Russell, Bloody Baudelaire
Ray Russell, Haunted Castles: The Complete Gothic Tales of Ray Russell
Richard Paul Russo, Ship of Fools
Read 2019
***
Tom Ryall, Blackmail
Arthur W. Ryder (trans), Twenty-Two Goblins
Read 2019
**
Michael Reynier, Five Degrees of LatitudeRead 2020
****
Slow-burning investigations into the supernatural across time, space and mind that take the time to smell the ectoplasm.
Fave: 'Sika Tarn'
Read 2023
***
Historical petropunk sci-fi and more conventional sorcery recounted in faux-encyclopaedic detail, complete with maps and teabagged journals.
Fave: 'The Angel of Pessane'
Alastair Reynolds, Revelation SpaceRead 2019
***
Technically brilliant, well-written and relentlessly sinister modern sci-fi, in a really long and overbearing way that I found a slog. I would have found it easier to get through and paid more attention if it had been arbitrarily broken down into a series, like Gene Wolfe's novels. I could have just pretended it was, but it's a bit late for that revelation [space].
Alastair Reynolds, Doctor Who: Harvest of Time
Read 2018****
The very best Who stories are format-breaking. This isn't one of those, as Reynolds rebuilds the structure of the highly distinctive early-70s iteration of the series to an impeccable tee, basically giving us the best Pertwee serial never made. If you're a fan of the UNIT ensemble era, this is as good as Who lit gets. If you're an Alistair Reynolds fan, you'll presumably find it a bit confounding and embarrassing.
My only issue is that it's a bit hard to take seriously with that phallic spaceship cover and enemies called Sild.
My only issue is that it's a bit hard to take seriously with that phallic spaceship cover and enemies called Sild.
Read 2020
****
The armchair exhibition couldn't get its hands on the famous ones, but the rest are conveniently organised by location, tracking down specific vantage points 150 years later for inevitably depressing art tours.
Faves: 'Branch Hill Pond, Hampstead Heath' (1825), 'Hadleigh Castle,' 'Helmingham Dell' (1830).
Faves: 'Branch Hill Pond, Hampstead Heath' (1825), 'Hadleigh Castle,' 'Helmingham Dell' (1830).
Read 1999
*
A 'classic' Trek novel on the basis of it being the first one, and for no other reason, this was re-released to celebrate 30 years of the franchise in print and given away free with Star Trek magazine, so the next generation didn't have to miss out on its out-of-character and racist depictions of their favourite space heroes.
Anne Rice, Interview with the Vampire
Read 2016
***
I was expecting a reasonable level of schlock and lots of desperately perverse proto-slash titillation, but I wasn't prepared for it to be so ponderously dull too. Presumably massively influential in the genre, but I'm sure we still would have got Buffy without it. I can't speak for Twilight because even if I ever had been a teenage girl, I would have considered that beneath me.
It does have one saving grace in the form of its disturbing child vampire, especially when you learn that that was the author's way of dealing with the tragic loss of her own young daughter. With extratextual darkness like that, I couldn't really dislike it.
Christine Rice, Freelance Writing Guide: What to Expect in Your First Year as a Freelance Writer
Read 2015
**
Justin Richards, Doctor Who: Apollo 23
Justin Richards, Doctor Who: Plague of the Cybermen
Justin Richards, Mark Morris, George Mann and Paul Finch, Doctor Who: Tales of Trenzalore – The Eleventh Doctor's Last Stand
Read 2016
***
Matt Smith's slightly shambolic last episode felt about half the length it needed to be, so I gave licensed fan fic the chance to expand on those skipped centuries a little more, on the remote chance it might be worthwhile.
It was acceptable.
Justin Richards, Doctor Who: Silhouette
Read 2014
*
Mark Richardson, The Flaming Lips' Zaireeka
Read 2020
***
Maurice Richardson, The Exploits of Engelbrecht: Abstracted from the Chronicles of the Surrealist Sportsman's Club
Read 2020
****
Fave: 'A Quiet Game of Chess'
Read 2021
Philip Ridley, The Hooligan's Shampoo
Philip Ridley, Scribbleboy
Read 1998
*
Adrian Rigelsford, Classic Who: The Hinchcliffe Years – Seasons 12–14
Read 2020
***
John Rink, Chopin: The Piano Concertos
Read 2020
***
Elle D. Risco, Disney Frozen: Anna in Charge
Jean Ritchie, Big Brother: The Official Unseen Story
Read 2000
***
José Rizal, Noli me tangere
Read 2015
***
José Rizal, On the Indolence of the Filipinos
Read 2015
***
Rose Robbins, Talking Is Not My Thing
Read 2021
James Roberts, Alex Milne and Nick Roche, The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye, Volume 2
J. F. Roberts, The True History of the Black Adder: The Unadulterated Tale of the Creation of a Comedy Legend
Read 2019
*****
Jem Roberts, Soupy Twists!: The Full Official Story of the Sophisticated Silliness of Fry and Laurie
Robin Roberts, Sexual Generations: Star Trek: The Next Generation and Gender
Read 2006
***
James Robertson, To Be Continued or, Conversations with a Toad
Read 2018
***
James Robertson has written some acclaimed and very serious-sounding novels about Scotland. He also wrote this stream-of-consciousness ramble about a man's low-stakes midlife crisis odyssey across Scotland with a talking toad, which naturally struck me as more appealing. Having doggedly stuck with it through to its conclusion, I can certainly say it is one of the books I have read.
It does have one saving grace in the form of its disturbing child vampire, especially when you learn that that was the author's way of dealing with the tragic loss of her own young daughter. With extratextual darkness like that, I couldn't really dislike it.
Christine Rice, Freelance Writing Guide: What to Expect in Your First Year as a Freelance Writer
Read 2015
**
Having researched which freelance writing guides are the most admired a few months back, it's not surprising that they've been getting steadily less useful as I go along. This is a beginner's guide written by a beginner, and while it touches on various ways to make money and things that need to be considered, it isn't of much practical use. It isn't even especially inspiring, as Rice's dedication to gritty honesty sets the bar way too low for anyone seriously considering a career change – "500 words for $5.00"; "$1.50 for 1,000 page views"; "from 0.7 cents a word." Bloody hell, if I was on the fence and looking for advice, that might just cause me to climb back down and stop being so silly. Maybe by December.
Read 2023
***
Good moralising sci-fi, some prescient imagery and convincing characterisation, especially considering its prematurity. It does drag out, which is probably going to be an ongoing issue. We were around the same age back then, but now they look about fifteen.
Read 2024
**
This novel run was gratifyingly free from tedious stock baddies until their triumphant return at the end for the same story again again.
***
Matt Smith's slightly shambolic last episode felt about half the length it needed to be, so I gave licensed fan fic the chance to expand on those skipped centuries a little more, on the remote chance it might be worthwhile.
It was acceptable.
Read 2014
*
I was excited by the potential of new era of Doctor Who, and decided I might as well follow along with the book releases this time around, since I wasn't doing much else. I made it through two books before giving up on a third out of apathy. Expanded universes are a mug's game.
Read 2020
***
It was good to learn about this band and their inconvenient album that I'll probably never get around to listening to in its intended DIY manner. Introductions aside, the book wasn't all that interesting, but maybe you're supposed to read all four chapters simultaneously to get the full impact.
Maurice Richardson, The Exploits of Engelbrecht: Abstracted from the Chronicles of the Surrealist Sportsman's Club
****
When tepid vintage comedies from the likes of Wodehouse remain so lauded, it's a shame that more imaginative works like Richardson's surrealist gothic sports horror comedy classic fell through the canonical cracks. Each account of witch shooting, clock boxing and more laid-back leisure pursuits such as plant drama (not for the impatient) serves to prise open the reader's awareness a little more, so that when the full-scale chess apocalypse arrives, it's almost comprehensible.
Fave: 'A Quiet Game of Chess'
Ray Richmond and Antonia Coffman, The Simpsons: A Complete Guide to Our Favorite Family
**
This was one of my most desired books around the time it appeared in shops, but was always slightly out of my budget or usurped by more bloody Star Trek. It's so cheap on eBay now that I picked it up for family viewing in the future, but while I appreciate its arbitrarily correct golden-age cut-off point, its bland, official gloss is less interesting than a tatty and opinionated programme guide would be. Or, you know, a blog.
Read 2021
***
I wasn't looking forward to this one, having reluctantly skimmed one of his novels at school, but its brief length (written to spec?) and rapid-fire chapters chasing the young millennial attention span made the eccentric magical sitcom fly by.
Read 1998
*
The author is down with his fellow kids in this urban tale of radical vandals that even features a rap. I think this was where I started skimming these prescribed reads to get them over with.
Adrian Rigelsford, Classic Who: The Hinchcliffe Years – Seasons 12–14
Read 2020***
I'm picky when it comes to 'Who, old and new, so I enjoyed this celebration of the only stretch of the 20th century series that I really dig. A laid-back chat with the producer – his late script editor occasionally chipping in from beyond the grave – it's a very narrow peek through the studio keyhole, more interesting for the retrospective musings on what worked, what didn't and what might have been.
Read 2020
***
Flowery analysis of two precocious teenage concertos and speculations on the mysterious third, contrasted with resentful reactions from triggered peers.
Read 2022
*
Quite long-winded for an easy reader. I know from experience that young fans don't really mind almost unrecognisably generic characterisation when it's got the faces slapped on.
Read 2000***
A family holiday made me a captive audience to the gripping mundane drama and I enjoyed watching the rest of the interesting social experiment play out, accepting that this made me culpable in the decline of civilisation. This combination behind-the-scenes novelisation was a wise alternative to a twelvety-tape boxset and filled in the dull developments I'd missed, along with saucy extras like erections that were too hot for TV but fine to print in a best-selling paperback.
José Rizal, Noli me tangere
Read 2015
***
I would like to fit in here and understand the people more (so, more than complete bewilderment and frustration then). If I'm not going to start singing bad karaoke or watching vapid teleseryes, I can at least subject myself to the ordeal every Filipino teenager must go through by law – reading the infamously subversive novels of their national hero. I was really hoping I wouldn't hate this, but while the style is ponderous and archaic even for the time, and its gender politics laughable or depressing depending on your mood, the important parts that earned its infamy and secured its place on the curriculum are still valid. Those nasty Spaniards are gone, so that worked out, but Rizal's criticisms of his countryfolk and the Catholic church that are just as relevant today don't really seem to have sunk in. You all just skimmed the SparkNotes, didn't you?
José Rizal, On the Indolence of the Filipinos
Read 2015
***
I wanted to read El filibusterismo, but without an English audiobook version out there I had to settle for this pathetically short alternative. Hey, Pinoy Pride crusaders, why not stop rising to racist bait in comment sections and actually contribute something positive over at LibriVox so us lazier foreigners can find out what your national hero has to say? Otherwise we might discover this one instead, which admits that the failings of the Philippines can't be entirely blamed on the elite and foreign interference after all (even if it can be partly blamed on the heat). You've been proudly independent for nearly 70 years, so why does the society Rizal despairs at seem so familiar? I guess you guys didn't read this one.
Read 2023
**
A nice introduction to speech difficulties that she could relate to her own nurserymates, so it's a shame I primarily rate these on entertainment value.
James Roberts, John Barber, Nick Roche and Alex Milne, The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye
***
Fortunately for my parents' bank account, I was born slightly too late for the most egregious toy advert cartoon of them all to really be part of my nostalgia (or I was just watching the wrong channel). Not really knowing what the hell was going on didn't hinder my enjoyment of this subversive mutilation of the premise into downbeat space survival sitcom, but it does mean there isn't sufficient motivation to continue, even with the side quest of spotting all the Red Dwarf references.
Read 2021
***
Further heartfelt subversion of other people's childhoods, it's generally good, but still fundamentally confusing without a foundation course in the mythos or a child's ability to meaningfully distinguish identical characters.
*****
You couldn't ask for a more in-depth oral history of a classic sitcom, exploring every branch of the comic royalty's family tree before, during and after their memorable reign, cunningly getting in there before they started dying. Elsewhere, the chronicler's in-character alt-history postulations are brief enough to be fun rather than annoying interludes and it's padded out at the back with photos and thankfully-unproduced scripts, which is just showing off, really.
Read 2021
****
As comprehensive as ever, though insufficient obsession on my part meant it was mainly a primer for notable sketches and curios.
Read 2006
***
Narrowing its focus to a single series, there's still 178 episodes to pick and choose from to present a complex study of a 1990s TV show not being quite as good as it could have been for women and frankly appalling for the gays. Most of it's reasonable, some of it's really stretching, but that's the fun of overanalysis.
James Robertson, To Be Continued or, Conversations with a Toad
Read 2018***
James Robertson has written some acclaimed and very serious-sounding novels about Scotland. He also wrote this stream-of-consciousness ramble about a man's low-stakes midlife crisis odyssey across Scotland with a talking toad, which naturally struck me as more appealing. Having doggedly stuck with it through to its conclusion, I can certainly say it is one of the books I have read.
Read 2020
***
The short novel that James Cameron filmed as Titanic a century later, though he took a lot of liberties and they're not all that similar. He should've kept the polar bear and the drug trip.
Read 2023
***
A nice, old-school picture book I could have related to as a speccy kid.
Read 2024
**
Mermaids playing football turned out to be a joke rather than a gaffe. I won't underestimate a Reception reader again.
Read 2015
***
Unlike the hallowed Star Wars novels of yesteryear, 90s Star Trek novels never had the same cult significance. That was mainly because even the most obsessive fans (does Star Trek have those?) weren't exactly going to feel starved for new material when the franchise was so oversaturated back then. But it was also thanks to the castrating restrictions placed by the powers above on character and plot development of any kind, pretty much dooming every tale to be inconsequential filler. (Thirdly, most of them were just shit stories).
But that changed when Deep Space Nine ended and authors were given unprecedented freedom to continue the story however the hell they wanted. This was extremely exciting for DS9 fans like me, and it would only take me 15 years to bother checking them out.
This first entry non-canonically fills in the many gaps in the personal history of enigmatic character Garak (my best), and was actually written by Garak actor Andrew J. Robinson himself, not just ghostwritten by one of the Pocket Books regulars and credited to the actor to sell more copies. Come on, you'll be telling me William Shatner didn't write all those Kirk novels and Tekwar next! Don't spoil the magical illusion. I would go into more detail about the actual book, but I spent so long on that introduction that there isn't time.
But that changed when Deep Space Nine ended and authors were given unprecedented freedom to continue the story however the hell they wanted. This was extremely exciting for DS9 fans like me, and it would only take me 15 years to bother checking them out.
This first entry non-canonically fills in the many gaps in the personal history of enigmatic character Garak (my best), and was actually written by Garak actor Andrew J. Robinson himself, not just ghostwritten by one of the Pocket Books regulars and credited to the actor to sell more copies. Come on, you'll be telling me William Shatner didn't write all those Kirk novels and Tekwar next! Don't spoil the magical illusion. I would go into more detail about the actual book, but I spent so long on that introduction that there isn't time.
Read 2024
****
The comedy potential of treating the Enormous Turnip as if it's a person still hasn't run out.
Read 2024
**
Feel-good gelatinous fable.
Read 2018
***
Callahan's can (allegedly) be found on Long Island, not Alpha Centauri, but it still attracts the occasional introspective extraterrestrial among the reluctant psychics and real-time time travellers. I'd listened to some of these tales before, and while they hadn't stayed with me, the congenial atmosphere had. These character-driven narratives must have been a bit jarring for Analog readers between the space battles and robots, especially as they don't always feel obliged to include sci-fi staples to stay on brand.
Faves: 'The Time-Traveler,' 'The Law of Conservation of Pain,' 'A Voice is Heard in Ramah...'
Worsties: 'The Centipede's Dilemma,' 'Just Dessert,' 'The Wonderful Conspiracy.'
Faves: 'The Time-Traveler,' 'The Law of Conservation of Pain,' 'A Voice is Heard in Ramah...'
Worsties: 'The Centipede's Dilemma,' 'Just Dessert,' 'The Wonderful Conspiracy.'
Alfredo and Grace Roces, Culture Shock! Philippines: A Survival Guide to Customs and Etiquette (Eighth Edition)
Read 2015
**
"When you are offered a boiled duck's egg with a half-incubated chick inside, you will not offend if you decline gently and politely."
I don't enjoy being the moody foreigner. Life would be a lot less stressful if I could acclimatise to this culture that doesn't suit my personality or values at all, but that's not going to happen. It's always useful to know what you're dealing with and how to avoid dealing with it though, but this guide could potentially do more harm than good. I queried my wife on the parts that struck me as especially ridiculous, and she confirmed that, no, of course that doesn't happen. At least, not any more. It seems the multiple revisions only involved adding email addresses. It's mostly Manila-centric too, which isn't very useful to anyone travelling or living in the rest of this ahomogenous country, and its middle-class authors' sneering tone towards domestic helpers should hopefully be appalling to international readers. If not – mabuhay ang Pilipinas! You'll fit in here just fine.
Gene Roddenberry, Star Trek is...
****
"She is very female, disturbingly so."
Roddenberry's legendary pitch for a cerebral yet titillating space western is obviously fascinating for nerds in its cosmetic differences on the way to the first pilot, but it's also an entertaining balancing act as the experienced showrunner pitches to execs in language they understand to slip through the more progressive casting (we didn't get the Space Jesus and Commie-baiting episodes in the end).
Gene Roddenberry, Star Trek: The Next Generation Writer/Director's Guide
***
Gene's enthusiasm for his fresh start in the drama-free 24th century is inspiring, and despite all the changes and improvements they'd make along the way, the series stayed true to his concise mission summary over seven years (even if they broke some of these rules big time). This was cobbled together late enough in development for the ship to have a design and Wesley to be male, but still early enough for some fun oddities and vague casting speculations.
Robyn Magalit Rodriguez, Migrants for Export: How the Philippine State Brokers Labor to the World
***
I also thought I should use some of these enforced reading opportunities to learn more about this fucking awful country and some of the reasons it got this way, but that ended up being just as depressing as those websites I read when I get distracted from novels.
From now on, it's escapism all the way.
From now on, it's escapism all the way.
Read 2020
**
There's only so much you can say about a collection of stripped-down cover songs, so the writer fluffs out his magazine review with a sea shanty that I can't imagine being of much interest to anyone.
Sax Rohmer, The Mystery of Dr. Fu Manchu
Read 2016
This classic pulp villain seems to have been intentionally forgotten in recent decades for understandable reasons, but while Sax's perspective on the inscrutable devilry of the East is obviously pretty racist, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. When characters are voicing their concerns about the rise of China threatening to reduce their own disproportionately greedy, unearned piece of the economic pie, you can't even call it dated. And at least in the book version you don't have British actors yellowing up. Where's his moustache?
Read 2020
**
If you're in the mood for [the] Ramones, you might not appreciate being lumbered with someone's dreary dissertation on the history of punk. It gets around to the songs near the end, for the level of analysis those require. Well, he had to fill up the rest of the book somehow, didn't he?
Read 2014, re-read 2023
*****
Probably my favourite Ronson book, because he's drawn to some of the same kooks I was fascinated by as a nipper, back before I realised the ramifications of angry delusion. Grouping Islamic extremists with conspiracy shock jocks is way ahead of its time.
Read 2014
****
I haven't watched the accompanying documentaty Ronson made, but maybe I should, since I can't fully get past his jovial journalism to accept that these are real words spoken by adults at high levels of the world's most powerful military. Then it gets darker and sadly easier to believe.
Read 2020
***
There's supposed to be a theme of eccentric mundanity connecting these reprinted newspaper columns, but when he runs out of those, he fills it out with his write-ups on Stanley Kubrick, cults and paedophilia rings that he couldn't find a place for in the main books. I'd heard him tell most of these stories before.
Read 2020
***
Further collected columns chronicling trivial occurrences from his week contrasted with a few in-depth investigations I'd read before elsewhere. He does tend to repeat himself.
Jon Ronson, The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry
*****
This is probably his most famous book, but was at the bottom of my Ronson reading pile. The specific focus on the type of people I wouldn't want to spend time with made it less appealing than his miscellanies, where terrifying crackpots are balanced out by harmless loonies. I needn't have worried, as the balance is still largely intact, and he always manages to make the terrifying funny anyway.
Jon Ronson, Lost At Sea: The Jon Ronson Mysteries
****
There's supposedly some sort of theme connecting these miscellaneous investigations of mad celebrities, Indigo children, robots and suicides, but it mainly seems to be an excuse for Ronson to get double bubble by reprinting old Guardian articles in paperback. I don't mind, I didn't read them the first time around and the meandering topics are refreshing. As ever, I just had to trust this is all non-fiction. Don't want Google to go ruining things.
Jon Ronson, So You've Been Publicly Shamed
Read 2015
After the fascinating Them and The Men Who Stare at Goats, this is the first of Ronson's books I've read that doesn't deal primarily with complete whackos, and its assortment of sympathetic and/or deserving victims isn't quite so entertaining – even if it's always a pleasure to hear both sides of their unrealistic conversations with the author narrated in Jon Ronson's amiable voice. More thought-provoking and relevant, sure, but if I check his Twitter in a year or two and see that he's become preoccupied with harmless kooks again, I'd look forward to that next book more.
Read 2016
****
Even rushed out as a Kindle Single, Ronson's inside perspective on the way the 2016 US election was blowing via crackpot swing voters came too late and was too insubstantial to make a difference, but it's still reliably entertaining.
Read 2023
**
You can never have enough unicorn churn, I have learned.
Read 2020
****
Pink Floyd albums (+ Amused to Death) as English literature set to clever music. I enjoyed the chapters in proportion to how much I like the albums. The author's literal interpretations range from intriguingly dubious to banal, depending on the subject matter he's working with.
Read 2020
***
I always enjoy it when they incorporate enthusiastic historical reactions to liven up to the music commentary. Elsewhere, you'll find the answers or debates to FAQs such as whether it's appropriate to play this in church and what genre is it anyway?
Read 2021
**
He's no David Horner.
Fave: 'The Watch'
Read 2024
**
What a dick.
Read 2023
**
Made me feel more sick than peckish.
Read 2022
**
It probably worked better as a poem. Padded out with variably-literal illustrations, it comes off as a weak Hungry Caterpillar.
Read 2020
****
A nostalgic celebration and brief history of a Frank Miller parody that got a bit out of hand, with thoughtful analysis of why the Heroes in a Half Shell™ were a cultural force for good. Donatello's his favourite, so you know he's talking sense.
Read 2022
**
I don't know if she really appreciated the ironic twist, she just digs unicorns.
Read 2021-22
**
The Little Princess finds endless things to enthusiastically like or dislike, like she's getting royalties from these books.
Read 2023
*
Soppy even for a unicorn book.
Read 2022
**
Getting a headstart on teaching her to read these things so I don't have to.
Read 2020*
Curious residue from the parallel universe where the second Star Trek film wasn't the acclaimed Wrath of Khan, but a non-ish rescue mission with multiple abrupt endings. Even as gimmicky Star Trek II merchandise, this is terrible, not having anything in common with that cinematic outing and evidently backtracking an era or two. As an interactive gamebook, it's an embarrassment. Apparently, the author wrote a Saturday Night Fever gamebook too, so there's a chance this isn't the absolute nadir of the art form and Western culture in general.
William Rotsler, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock – Short Stories
**
Forcing further adventures into the loosely-sealed middle of a serial was a strange decision (one they repeated from the previous film), but an interesting alternative to a straight novelisation. The author gets what he can out of the restrictive setting and explores the characters' feelings at this specific point in time before he runs out of ideas and segues into flashbacks to tell slavishly traditional 'Trek tales.
Read 2022
**
It's almost as if you can apply an irrelevant unicorn theme to absolutely anything. She had no social context for the non-conformist manifesto, so this wasn't a hit.
Read 2024
*
A companion to the equally unicorn-baiting poo book. One day she'll have taste.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's StoneRead 1998
**
No one had heard of the boy wizard when I was asked to read this for school, because it was one of many books up for the Carnegie medal, which it hilariously lost. I didn't have to start skim-reading like I did with some of the drearier contenders, but there wasn't much to it. Maybe I would have been into it when I was nine?
John Rozum, Kevin J. Anderson, Gordon Purcell and Charles Adlard, The X-Files: Night Lights
Read 2020***
Rozum's X-Files is less convoluted than Petrucha's (almost like it was on request) and conservatively truer to the series and the characters, the eponymous two-parter making a decent run-of-the-mill not-episode. Which is more than can be said for X-Files novelist Kevin J. Anderson's cheesetastic guest spot where some people cosplaying as Mulder and Scully mumble unconvincing external monologues.
John Rozum, Charles Adlard and Gordon Purcell, The X-Files: Internal AffairsRead 2020
**
With fewer stories than average and quality below average, the comics cleverly foreshadowed the decline of the TV show. Titan Books' pun title summing up these domestic cases of madness and live organ transplant reimbursement is better than the contents.
Read 1998, re-read 2020
**
The daft tale of a vampiric coat lining is the only one of these I remember reading at the time. Alongside bogstandard multi-parters about forest creatures and shady cover-ups, it turned out to be the highlight of the collection.
Read 2020
**
These increasingly daft cases of carnivorous dust mites, mischievous gremlins and confused ghosts were the last to be collected by Titan Books in the UK. They could've got another volume or two out of John Rozum's X-Files before the series was cancelled, but I guess we'd seen enough.
Read 2020
****
Good if obvious advice, handy reference tables and plenty of home recipes broken down by month if you have the patience and morals to make everything yourself and not rely on Nestlé.
Read 2019
****
From vintage fantasy and Chinese woo to wormholes and block universes, this brain-expanding maths-fi classic has puzzles the reader can engage with as they go along to get the most out of the experience. If you're a more active reader than I am, anyway.
Read 2023
***
Wholesome silent, static cartoon, provide your own saccharine soundtrack. It also doubles up as a samey colouring book.
Read 2015
He's hardly even in it! And it's not even technically him, except it is, because otherwise it would be a satire of nothing. It's only a small sub-story or dream sequence or something anyway (I drifted in and out). Absolute pricks. As for the actual novel, it's the type of urban fantasy, magic realism or whatever you call it when mythical beings start showing up in the humdrum world and things keep threatening to get interesting but are then interrupted to see how people's affairs and media careers are getting on, all marinated in a sensitive post-colonial/immigration theme. It's a bit dense, and in hindsight, probably not the best book to listen to while playing Pokémon.
Read 2020
****
It's always more interesting to get a proper writer's take on a film than a jobbing critic's, along with their personal insights that invite you to consider different interpretations and audiences. I wasn't so interested in the bit of fiction at the end, but the essay was coming up a bit short.
Read 2020
***
One of my favourite types of idiotic knowitall YouTube comments is those proclaiming Bach or whoever to be Metal AF. Rushton's analysis of this operatic symphony similarly led me to foolishly conclude that Berlioz is the progenitor of the modern rock opera. Only without the rock, obviously. And apparently not really opera, what do I know?
Read 2020
****
Half forensic analysis of the musical portraits, half conspiracy theorist dot-connecting and album syncing in a futile bid to finally crack the (possibly non-existent) Elgar Code on its centennial. That Nimrod sounds like a swell guy.
Read 2024
***
Thoughtful character moments and aliens made from wool treated with deadly seriousness. Classic 'Who.
Read 2016
I'm not the biggest fan of Westerns – presumably because I'm British rather than American, I find gas-lit, smoke-choked London and Edinburgh cobbles a more comforting alternative for the period. But like those weirdos who claim to enjoy the best of every music genre, I do enjoy making the trip every now and again. By stripping away the sensationalism surrounding a tertiary historical figure (if not the romance), this was the most authentic frontier immersion since Deadwood. It helped that I scored most of it with Western soundtracks too.
Read 2022
***
Decadent revivalist soap opera in an atmospheric setting, shame about the ponces, and the inadequate proofreading baiting a supernatural red herring.
Read 2023
***
A couple of sadistic gems.
Faves: 'Sardonicus,' 'The Runaway Lovers'
Read 2019
***
This hits all the right notes of suspenseful space Gothic – sometimes amusingly so, with its deformed Frankingstein orphan, corrupt clergy and literal cathedral – but it's not very well written or original. That's what will happen when you set out to find a book that might remind you of a film.
Read 2022
***
Primarily the historical context for the early British talkie before the customary linear commentary on every choice made. It repeats the same points over and over, film criticism is a piece of piss.
Read 2019
**
A pesky goblin relentlesly bullies a king into settling the moral of twenty-two tales, through the warped prism of his particular time, culture and status. Less offensive than the One Thousand and One Nights, but also less memorable, hence the obscurity.
