Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Sentosa? No thanks, she already has a full complement of toes

These hopelessly oblique pun titles have been scraping the barrel for a while, but now I've dug through into a deeper barrel I didn't even know existed. It's a barrel of laughs!

Sentosa is Singapore's purpose-built leisure resort. It's as pristine, tedious and needlessly expensive as you'd expect.

Sentosa Island,

I admit it, the fact that there's a ride based on Battlestar Galactica was the main reason I wanted to visit this gods-forsaken place. But we all need our stupid reasons, right?

This larger Merlion is somehow even more disappointing than the one in Singapore harbour.
It doesn't even vomit water

Then again, this one does come with its own in-built title sequence.
Why not have fun coming up with your own Merlion theme song? Please keep it to yourself

Palawan Beach

Even if I hadn't been spoiled and desensitised by Thai and Malaysian beaches, this would still be disappointing

Heading to the southest I've ever been (one degree north of the equator)

Q: How can this possibly mark 'The Southern Most Point of Continental Asia' when there's clearly more beach going off in all compass directions?

Move the sign!

Q: Why?

Underwaterworld Singapore

A childish day out again again again again.
I am twenty-five years old

Touching isn't just allowed, it's encouraged!
I met one of these guys when snorkelling on Tioman - a shame to find out they aren't lethal

They all look slightly less impressive behind glass after you've swum amongst them

One of our Lord's beautiful creatures.
It's enough to make you reconsider your direct debit to the World Wildlife Fund

Some dead sharks

Some radioactive jellyfish

Some massive crab

Some absolute tat

Songs of the Sea

Calm down mate, she's only a projection

It's like a Pink Floyd show. But with worse music (shut up, I am right)

Yeah, screw the water show - gimme fire!


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