They love performing for your amusement too

It's pretty clear that the animals at Sentosa's Dolphinarium are treated better than the wrestled crocodiles of Bangkok's Samphran Elephant Ground and the seals of Dusit Zoo.

But did they really need to make it so goddamn mawkish? Check out this nauseating spectacle of a girl meeting a pink dolphin (I didn't add the soppy soundtrack - they actually played this). You'd think some rich people got married or something.

Sentosa? No thanks, she already has a full complement of toes

These hopelessly oblique pun titles have been scraping the barrel for a while, but now I've dug through into a deeper barrel I didn't even know existed. It's a barrel of laughs!

Sentosa is Singapore's purpose-built leisure resort. It's as pristine, tedious and needlessly expensive as you'd expect.