Alrightlistens: These AudioGO to Eleven

Oli Smith, Doctor Who: The Runaway Train

2010 / Audiobook

**

Wild West tropes crowd aboard this creaky locomotive that's mainly noteworthy for being driven by Matt Smith himself, complete with an awkward co-star impersonation and one American accent.

Stephen Cole, Doctor Who: The Ring of Steel

2010 / Audiobook

***

The right balance of sincere cheese. It doesn't really suit this era, but it couldn't have known that yet.

Martin Day, Doctor Who: The Jade Pyramid

2011 / Audiobook

***

Ninjas and samurai are a glaring oversight of the TV adventures, now that you mention it, and that's enough novelty to see it through. Matt doesn't do the accents this time, for some reason.

James Goss, Doctor Who: The Hounds of Artemis

2011 / Audiobook

**

Stock horror made less appealing by the strange split narration. Maybe Matt was too busy to read the whole thing, and it wasn't just that he couldn't be arsed.

Jason Arnopp, Doctor Who: The Gemini Contagion

2011 / Audiobook

**

Black Mirror, Jr.

Alrightreads: Eleven³

George Mann, Doctor Who: Paradox Lost

2011 / Ebook / 238 pages

****

Gory Quatermassian sci-fi horror. Another gem hidden by a generic title.

Naomi A. Alderman, Doctor Who: Borrowed Time

2011 / Ebook / 255 pages

****

Smart and funny sci-fi corporate satire, like a time-travel Severance.

Dan Abnett, Doctor Who: The Silent Stars Go By

2011 / Audiobook / 320 pages

***

Not the most festive Christmas special, but some cracking carol puns.

Jacqueline Rayner, Doctor Who: Magic of the Angels

2012 / Ebook / 110 pages

**

I didn't know 'Quick Reads' was a synonym for 'Early Readers,' but probably should have guessed. Quite the letdown after Touched by an Angel.

J. T. Colgan, Doctor Who: Dark Horizons

2012 / Audiobook / 320 pages

***

Long-winded, sanitised Viking shenanigans. The absence of regular companions in this post-Ponds stretch is good for continuity, but I missed having them around, almost like they exist for a reason.

Alrightreads: Books One to Five, But They're from Unrelated Series

Ben Aaronovitch, Rivers of London

2011 / Audiobook / 392 pages

****

Neverwhere with cops. There was enough humour to get me through, but too much going on for my distracted listening to take in. Maybe I'll find my book series one day.

Rhys Hughes, Dabbler in Drabbles, Volume Two: 200 Short Stories

2024 / Ebook / 214 pages

***

Recurring characters and themes accumulate to several-hundred-word epics amid the briefer studies, which can be quite thoughtful when they're not being silly, though all the filler doesn't bode well for the incrementally longer sequels.

Faves: 'History and Time,' 'The Check-up'/'Pulled Muscle,' 'Drawing Straws'

James Acaster, James Acaster's Guide to Quitting Social Media

2022 / Audiobook / 304 pages

**

Switching from confessional memoir to fiction and persona in his third literary outing, I guess this makes it a debut novel. Shame it's on a subject I have no interest in and can't really relate to, and he's funnier when he's being himself.

Robin Ince, Bibliomaniac: An Obsessive's Tour of the Bookshops of Britain

2022 / Audiobook / 320 pages

***

These indie bookshop reviews and eccentric tome recommendations aren't much use to me, but I enjoyed the sedentary tour all the same.

David Masciotra, Metallica's Metallica

2015 / Ebook / 128 pages

**

Chunky promotional pamphlet with some worthwhile interview snippets amid the error-riddled sales copy.

Alrightgames: Monopoly Junior – Frozen

Monopoly Junior: Frozen / La Reine des neiges

2014 / Trading board game / 2-3 players

**

A totally unnecessary purchase for a household that already owns the My Little Pony cash-in of the same property, but I wanted to make her feel better when another girl beat her to a 49p unicorn book. It's inferior to the Pony version in needlessly reduced player count (there are more than three characters in the film) and random, illogical locations (not enough places in the film to fill the squares), but also more curious for being a bilingual hybrid. I probably should have separated the English and French Chance decks before rather than after playing, but since these are all the same putain de merde game, I could usually work it out.

Alrightgames: Robot Turtles

Robot Turtles

2013 / Programming board game / 1-4 players

***

As effective as a conversion of a 50-year-old programming language to a board game can reasonably be, it promises edutainment and she seems to somehow enjoy it, even if she was slightly disappointed that they don't make a unicorn version.

Alrightgames: Earthworm Jim

Earthworm Jim

1994 / Sega Mega Drive emulator game / 1 player

*****

I knew it'd be a bit hard and fiddly, but thought she might find all the random cows, flushing bogs and things as funny as we did in the 90s. Instead, she proved surprisingly capable and didn't seem to find the offbeat zaniness especially amusing, though she enjoyed the developer guy calling us a "chayter" on the level select screen.

Alrightgames: Crash Bandicoot – The Huge Adventure

Crash Bandicoot: The Huge Adventure

2002 / Game Boy Advance emulator game / 1 player

***

Run, jump, spin and die a lot. Hugely innovative.

Alrightgames: Rory's Story Cubes

Rory's Story Cubes: Original / Voyages

2005/2011 / Dice activity / 1+ players

****

Fun to mess around with, their simplified icons proved appealing for drawing practice too. They might also help with roleplaying roadblocks one day, if she ever lets us play.

Alrightgames: My Little Pony – Tails of Equestria – The Storytelling Game

My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria – The Storytelling Game

2016 / Roleplaying game rulebook / 2+ players

*****

I always wondered whether I'd end up owning one of those chunky RPG rulebooks. I didn't expect it would be for My Little Pony, but I couldn't have asked for a clearer introduction. It's a shame the young pony fan I bought it for wasn't similarly interested in playing, and would rather run around being characters in her own improvised scenarios without having to roll dice or listen to long-winded descriptions, but it's there if she changes her mind.

Babyliography CLXXII

Unknown, Gabby's Dollhouse: The Sparkliest Day of the Year

2023 / Library book / 32 pages

**

A new one. No dumber than the things I used to watch, I have some perspective.

Pat Jacobs, Pet Pals: Cats

2017 / Library book / 32 pages

***

Only made me feel mildly neglectful.

Sarah Coyle and Adam Walker-Parker, Pick a Story: A Monster Princess Shark Adventure

2024 / Library book / 32 pages

***

Not even close to exhausting the canon, though monsters and sharks makes it quite a toothy instalment.

Karl Newson and Duncan Beedie, I Really, Really Need a Wee!

2020 / Library book / 32 pages

**

Scatalogical picture rhyme with an Inside No. 9-level twist.

Sarah McIntyre, Grumpycorn

2019 / Library book / 32 pages

***

Nice colours. Was Moodycorn™ taken or something?

Babyliography CLXXI

Jessica Spanyol, Rosa's Big Shadow Puppet Experiment

2022 / Library book / 20 pages

***

She was too preoccupied with getting the characters' unimportant names right to be fascinated by the science. I liked the thick paper.

Unknown, Step Into Reading: Frozen Story Collection

2015 / Paperback / 160 pages

**

She has a Frozen week every now and then, and it's some variety from unicorns, even if we're both perplexed about "Anna is in FRONT, Elsa is in BACK."

Dana Simpson, Phoebe and Her Unicorn

2012 (collected 2014) / Paperback / 222 pages

****

She's found her Garfield, and probably this year's collectable series unless we slow down to real-time dailies.

Zanna Davidson and Nuno Alexandre Vieira, Fairy Unicorns: Enchanted River

2017 / Library book / 112 pages

***

The library's collection is incomplete or variably borrowed. A birthday boxset will take care of it eventually, but they catch you up on any minimal continuity between missed episodes.

Craig Gerber, Catherine Hapka and Grace Lee, Sofia the First: The Secret Library

2015 / Library book / 40 pages

**

Some nice drawings anyway.

Babyliography CLXX

Unknown, Harold's Worst Nightmare

2020 / Library book / 32 pages 

**

Not the lad with the purple crayon, but a normal cat who promptly learns his friendship lesson so we don't have to waste too much time on fun conflict. Mog for oversensitive kids.

Katie Cook and Andy Price, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Volume 1

2012-13 (collected 2013) / Ebook / 104 pages

****

Truer to form than the crazy Turtles comics I had at a similar age, though still with nicely distinctive art. I wouldn't mind getting through the whole run if she's game.

Various, Read with Oxford: Stage 1 – Biff, Chip and Kipper – Silly Races and Other Stories

2018 / Library book / 96 pages

**

'Stories' is giving them a bit too much credit.

Russell Punter and David Semple, Usborne Phonics Readers: Unicorns in Uniforms

2019 / Library book / 24 pages

*

Slap some horns on and she'll read anything.

David Conway and Charles Fuge, Who Woke the Animals?

2015 / Preschool book / 32 pages

**

Even the book gets bored of listing them after a while and skips to the end.

Songs by Aimee

How Do We Swim

How do we swim

Under there

See what I can see

What is the water like

Is it the swimming

How do I swim

Real in true life

You can never guess

What happens

There was a mermaid

Under the sea

And I really underwater

Want to see

To see a mermaid in the sea

Deep and dark, shadowy

I really wonder

What underwater could be

Rainbow Dash Does a Sonic Rainboom

Rainbow Dash dashing through the clouds

Making the Sonic Rainboom really high

We love Rainbow Dash so much

Rainbow Dash dashing through the clouds

Rainbow Dash flies through the sweets

Rainbow Dash loves to make a Sonic Rainboom

Yeah, you gotta street

Rainbow Dash is dashing through the clouds

Very neat

Where you gonna eat?

Rainbow Dash is drowning through the clouds

Rainbow Dash hugs Twilight on the street

Rainbow Dash loves dashing the sweets

Dance! Dancing through the street

Rainbow Dash is coming...

Oh Dear, Tinky Winky by Aimee

When I was a (considerably older) child, I wrote a story on the Amiga about Tinky Winky being constipated and ultimately pooing everywhere. It's a great comfort to see my legacy continued.