For a different perspective on these events (usually about two metres behind and to the left or right), see Oliver's exclusive behind-the-scenes report.
I can't tell you how Newcastle, New South Wales compares to its near-antipodean namesake because I never actually visited Newcastle upon Tyne. I never lived in North East England and never had any special reason to go there, so I felt no pressing need to make the 104-mile trip from Edinburgh or 185-mile trip from Crewe.
I never visited Newcastle under Lyme either, which was actually quite close to where I grew up. Assuming it to be just another boring market town like everything else around those parts, I never made the 14-mile trip from Crewe.
Come to think of it, I don't think I ever visited Old South Wales either.
However, I can confirm that the Newcastle of Australia is quite nice for a day out - just 10,462 miles from Crewe as the immortal crow that doesn't need to eat or rest flies.
Newcastle
(the Australian one)
There's nothing remotely amusing about the design of Queen's Wharf Tower.
So stop sniggering at the back, Timkins
So stop sniggering at the back, Timkins
Or Nobby's Head for that matter.
Last warning, Timkins!
Vast Lake Macquarie. That's a relief, I thought it was going to be another smutty name,
but it's no Lake Titiwangsa
More crumbling WWII fortifications at Shepherds Hill. I guess these were a little far from Sydney for the Farscape production crew to make use of for their lazy alien worlds
There may have been other reasons they didn't use them
Blackbutt Reserve
A childish day out again again again again again again again again again again again again.
This indigenous wildlife sanctuary gets away with its racist name by offering free entry
I guess that also excuses all the non-active marsupials being boring in the summer heat. Still, at least I've seen kangaroos, koalas and wallabies in their native Australia now.
It may be exactly the same as seeing them in a zoo in any other country, but it counts
At least the emus were awake and funny
I'm a big fan of interracial relationships, but what this duck and turkey get up to is against nature
Creepy owl
Eclectus parrot. That's right, someone started taking note of the informative wall charts at this point before immediately giving up
More technicolor interspecies love
Why's this peacock wasting time in the shade when there's all these loose, open-minded birds around? He could get all the cloaca he wants
Slightly unpleasant toad/frog. I don't know do I? But call an ape a monkey in my presence and watch the indignant rage bubble, you uneducated fool
This is as close as I got to a koala (not close at all), missing the last opportunity for a vain photo opportunity by a few minutes. Still, tick.
This post is sentimentally dedicated to
Shana & Oliver
for making my dreams come true
(not the one about the tiny Darth Vader)
