Creepy guy at the zoo

I can't say I've ever given too much thought to managing my online profile, beyond making it difficult for people to get in touch with me. So recently I was both horrified and strangely delighted to discover that searching Google Images for 'creepy guy at the zoo' brings up my face in third position, after I noticed I was getting a few search hits for that term.

What's most distressing is that I know this isn't even the creepiest photo of me innocently enjoying myself at a zoo. I think you'll agree, this one is much unintentionally creepier:

Hopefully this post will help to remedy the results, I'd hate searchers to be disappointed. And, being me, I couldn't resist the opportunity to try more dodgy/unusual search terms to find out what else Google thinks of me. These are all my own fault.

I like how I'm not the first result for this

Leave Pat alone

Thank god for Safe Search.
Ming the Merciless deserves pole position, he really is a massive green cock