Thursday, April 5, 2012

Macaques all, folks!

Bereaved macaque

One of the advantages of keeping up this travelling and OCD blogging well beyond most people's attention spans and memory capacities is that I can pass off re-contextualised pictures from older blogs as new material. Like one of those budget-saving episodes of American TV shows where the characters get trapped in a lift and reminisce about their antics back when they had funding.

My own funding situation should soon improve, so I'll be able to hire back the green screen technology, guest actors and CGI artists needed to keep up the sophisticated illusion that I'm travelling all over Asia, when in reality I never left Scotland. It probably would have been cheaper to actually go to these countries and do these things for real, now I think about it. But I can't eat that foreign muck.

Anyway, better get on with fabricating a tenuous segue to introduce these old monkey photos. Hey, do you remember when I was in those other Asian countries where they had macaques roaming around all over the place? What was all that about? I'd love to go back and revisit some of those adven... oh dear, the lift seems to have broken down. Well, we might as well pass the time remembering some of those kerrazy monkeys and their wacky antics. Do you remember... remember... remember... (Overlay warbling sound effect)

Just the monkeys
(apes aren't monkeys, idiot)

This guy matter-of-factly did a poo...

...which this guy then ate (Kaohsiung)

Langur tries to escape Bangkok's animal concentration camp (a.k.a. Dusit Zoo)

Dave helps to fund more animal exploitation in Thailand (Koh Samui)

Malaysia's macaques don't take that sort of crap, and are free to steal food from tourists and make obscene hand gestures (Monkey Beach)

Some take it further than a gesture (Batu Caves)

Apparently we share around 93 per cent of our DNA with these critters (Krabi)
(That's 98 per cent for viewers in Scotland)

Spectacular baboon arse (Singapore Zoo)

Oh honey, you know I like your anus too (Sacred Monkey Forest)

Just go to the Monkey Forest blog, there's lots of good macaqction there

Here are some monkeys with hilarious noses. And he's humping her. Brilliant!
(Labuk Bay Proboscis Monkey Sanctuary)

And all the men have constant, bright red erections.
The more you learn about proboscis monkeys, the funnier they get

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