Thursday, November 3, 2011

Cruise for a conk

Not my photo.
We'll get to my disappointing photos in a minute

Borneo might be best known for its orangutans, but it's also home to a more hilarious primate that I felt it was more pressing to see first - the big-nosed, preggers-bellied proboscis monkey.

Like the solitary tarsier, I feel affinity with this distant evolutionary cousin, as we're both blighted by enormous hooters. Though these monkeys also have humongous bellies, while I seem to be wasting away.

Monkeys can generally be relied on to be funny, so add a massive conk and you've got a winner in the comedy animal stakes. But if you feel a pang of guilt when guffawing at these sideshow freaks in places like Singapore Zoo, you can go down the responsible tourism route and see them hanging out in their native habitat on a cruise down Klias River.

Klias Wetlands,

Apart from the more amusing wildlife, this was similar to my trip down the throatwobbler mangrove river in Cherating, even down to the presence of similarly over-excitable Chinese girls whose shrieking tended to scare away critters and make my photos even more disappointing than they would have been anyway. 謝謝, 鳥人!

Time for some real-life Where's Wally.

But if you can't be bothered:

There s/he is

A couple more

Today's quiz: fat or preggers?

That answers that question.
(We're not in Thailand any more - girls don't have those)

I also later learned that it's the guys who have the big conks, and their bellies are so impressive because their diet consists almost entirely of mangrove leaves, which need to be eaten in massive quantities to be of any nutritional value. They are also one of the only species found to throw up their meals in order to enjoy a second serving. They just get funnier, don't they?

Regular monkey. YEAH, WHATEVER

Tree-hugging monitor lizard (if you look hard).
I've missed these guys - last time I was in Malaysia, they were everywhere

Firefly watching

After Apep ate the sun, we went out firefly watching, which was more passive and less exciting than the interactive fairy-handling in Cherating (though probably more responsible), so I spent most of the time looking up at the stars. Astronomy will definitely be my mid-life crisis hobby, I'm looking forward to it.

Once again I didn't even bother to use my camera, as I might as well just have drawn some white dots on Paint and showed you that instead. But as that would be boring, here's the Orion Nebula:

And here's a sexy teacher:


  1. "They are also one of the only species found to throw up their meals in order to enjoy a second serving."

    Did I ever tell you about the time at New Year, when I'd eaten loads of chocolate cake but then I wanted more so I made myself sick and went back for another few slices?

    Good times.

    Also I ate so much food on Friday night that I was physically sick. Like my stomach actually overflowed.

    I think I need help.

  2. Isn't that the sort of decadent behaviour they get up to at the Bullingdon Club? I never guessed that you and David Cameron would have so much to talk about.

  3. Well I've always wondered what I'd say to him if I met him. I suppose now I have my conversation opener!