The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind – Game of the Year Edition
2003 / PC game / 1 player
*****
But when I recently replaced my laptop with one that could handle early-21st century graphics, it seemed like something my daughter might enjoy messing around on during half-term break, and it only needs to be as complex as we want it to be. Discovering that the character speech is all stored in folders as replaceable files also introduced her to the joy of hacking.
2007 / PC game / 1-2 players
*
A horrendous minigames compendium designed to disappoint little girls, but at least you don't have to pay for it any more. It's got nothing on the Game Boy Advance Barbie games and their dependable generic 90s platforming.
1992 / Sega Mega Drive emulator game / 1-2 players
****
I remember when I first played the Amiga version of this pocket money/vandalism simulator – what couldn't have been any more than three years after its release – that it seemed a prematurely dated relic with its blocky graphics, limited movement and abominable looping soundtrack. My 2020s daughter didn't have these same hang-ups when enjoying the mildly anarchic classic, though we did play the Sega version that improves in some areas – mainly in the character's Bart Simpson-style wisecracks adding insult to injuries.
2012 / Tile placement board game mini expansion / 2-6 players
***
It wasn't one of my more sought-after mini expansions from the range, but it's another fiddly distraction to add in for frequent rewards and a good bit of maths practice to help with our education and cognitive decline, respectively, and another chance to rescue wasted followers that doesn't involve getting gobbled by a dragon.
2018 / Deckbuilding card game supplement / 2-4 players / USA
**
Not really worth buying without the extra goodies of the first set, but worth trying out for free with a handwritten list and a D12. There are fewer overpowered power-ups than in the first round, but only the Black Market and Hidden Base are really inspired concepts. But having to keep these in mind also means I invariably forget about something else, like the Scenario, so my star realm can do without more overcomplications.
One Page Adventures: Nexus of the Four Seasons, Arctic & Fort
2022 / Roleplaying game adventures / 2+ players
***
A multiseasonal sandbox centred on a neat little gimmick that the six-year-old had no trouble getting her head around with the aid of descriptive hints. We saved a stranded giraffe kid, rescued the wizard, got moderately scorched by dragons and ate a load of burritos. Most of this wasn't in the prompts.
One Page Adventures: Desert, Desert II, Pyramid & Mausoleum
2022 / Roleplaying game adventures / 2+ players
****
A desolate change of scenery from generic forests and plains, I was able to adapt most the physical, mental and mystical challenges from these D&D prompts to our kids' game, but swapped out the angry kobolds for an animated pharaoh mask and combined the two tombs into a parody of The Crystal Maze. I was especially pleased with myself when I noticed the Mumm-sey potential.
2018 / Card game expansion deck / 3-6 players
***
Dixit and Stella are our favourite family games for evenings when both parents are around, so more variety is always welcome, but this ended up being our default Muse set when we discovered that.
We chose this as our next card supplement (after Memories and Journey) after checking out several flip-throughs on YouTube. There didn't seem to be as many creepy ones on the screen as in the flesh.
***
Enhancing basic set collection with educational scatological realism, this was a no-brainer birthday present when I saw it on sale.
The rules are a bit fiddly, but the six-year-old got it, even if she's squarely focused on the kawaii foreverhome building so far and not the more diabolical side where kitties are weaponised in neighbourhood feuds. Enacting the rule that whoever most recently scooped poop goes first could get me out of that chore in the future.
2011 / Truth or dare game / 2-6 players
**
The usual crude pasting of franchise over stock game, with many questions and challenges either inappropriate or physically impossible for the minimum age recommendation, but with enough paraphernalia and poorly-proofread variations on the same tasks to keep it endlessly entertaining if they're into it. It was her favourite of her birthday games, unfortunately.
2025 / Card game expansion pack / 2-4 players
***
Randomised rule changes dished out as bonuses for losers and penalties for winners adds intrigue and balance to the game, and could even help me to win against the six year old sometimes. She'd already suggested similar house rules, so they should help to keep things interesting, even if they're as variable in interest as the cards of the first expansion.
Since the cards don't need to be mixed into the deck and printable images are widely available online, I thought I'd make do with those, but it didn't take long for the Chinese pirates to come through, 谢谢.
2017 / Roleplaying game mini-adventure / 2+ players
**
A sequence of flying challenges that amounted to chucking a few different dice several times in a row and pretending different things were happening, as is the simplistic beauty and limitation of the system. It was at least a reminder to follow up on neglected character development for Bubblegum from a whole year ago, who fortune favoured despite her slight handicap in stats.
2016 / Tile placement board game / 2-4 players
****
Only one step up from Monster Dominoes, et al, so it doesn't have a lot to offer for a grown-up who's been spoiled by the likes of the Oniverse series, but the young player took to the recreational maths more enthusiastically than expected, always followed up with some storytime in the combined kingdoms. It's sort of serving as a superior junior Carcassonne to the one they actually sell, though she probably prefers the regular one.
Do any of them live up to the original? Are they all too different, or not different enough? Shouldn't I have waited until Ultimion was out to do this? Yes.
Tile Tetris has a tactile advantage, but it didn't worm its way into my mind or heart like most of the others did, as well as having the measliest serving of expansion (singular) in the whole series. I enjoyed the learning curve, as always (hang on... this 'bad' tile is just what I need!), and my five-year-old took a particular shine to it, so it's sticking around.
Preferred setup: Custom mish-mash for a child
After so many diverse and inventive variations on stock games, basically combining Onirim and Aerion was a bit disappointing (even considering how highly I rank those), making this the first game to feel a little superfluous in the line since Urbion. The add-ons are more essential than ever for expanding the limited universe of the base game, though the decks still feel a bit too tight, and with less randomness than some of the other titles, it can feel more like going through the celestial motions than having fun.
Preferred setup: Everything
This OCD balancing act was a step lower when I'd only played the more limited first edition, but extra expansions and other small but substantial tweaks enhanced what was already an addictive challenge. It's still one of the less distinctive and immersive titles, but the quick setup means I feel like playing and losing to it more often than some of those higher up.
Preferred setup: All but the last two expansions
Another ingenious challenge with adorable characters and perhaps the most impeccable design of the series with all the different layouts, but I was disappointed that I didn't love this twist on the traditional board game more, having hyped it up in my mind the most. It almost got there once the expansions rounded it out, added the essential battle scene and saw all crew members pulling double shifts, but it's all a bit too fiddly to bother with often.
Preferred setup: Level 2 or 3 sub with three or four expansions
I was surprised at how much I loved this one, which seems to show up in auctions the most frequently and I'd hesitated over buying due to it looking a bit limited and repetitive. It is, but the theme's so well done that I'm fully involved in the struggle with my woodland comrades (and whales, for some reason) and don't mind doing the same thing most of the time. It's not the most replayable title though, and they could have piled more expansions on and not made us buy Below Ground separately.
Preferred setup: Everything
The race to the top is a close one from here. This weird dice game quickly proved to be one of the most addictive in the series, with a smorgasbord of modular expansions bringing back the adventurous exploration of Onirim and creating a megagame that's similarly satisfying to beat. It's just a shame those expansions don't have more varied art. I'm reaching for superficial quibbles at this point.
Preferred setup: Everything
Not the most welcoming theme, but the first glimpse of the mechanical minions turned that around, even before the delights of the Babybots and Gigantobots. This feels like a late series entry in the best way, taking cues from its predecessors (the many decisions of Aerion, the battles from Nautilion, the cuddly critters from Sylvion after Doctor Robotnik's had his way with them) and putting them through its own rusty grinder. It's just a shame that some random permutations make it literally unplayable from the start.
Preferred setup: Everything except The Microbots, which are too annoying
It was hyped as a modern classic solo card game before I even played it, but I was sold on the theme and artwork even before that, so the game being incredibly satisfying was a nice bonus. Working through all of the expansions and promos and mixing them together, it became cumulatively spectacular. Returning after playing all of its spin-offs, it still reigns supreme, though how much that's primacy bias, I can't say.
Preferred setup: Everything, though Happy Dreams and Dark Premonitions is a bitch
Now for the wait to discover whether the mysterious finale lives up to its arrogant title:
2014 / Solo/cooperative card game mini expansion / 1-2 players
***
Rare, precious and almost completely unnecessary, this reserve Dream team showed up on eBay eventually (along with a legit copy of The Mirrors), allowing me to put the final toppings on an already overbaked cake.
I was going to review them individually, but there's not much to say, all being minor variations on existing Nightmare or Denizen cards with the customary give and take. This variety is nice for its own sake, but I wouldn't miss them.
2024 / Solo/cooperative card game expansions / 1-2 players
I dismissed the idea that more expansions could sweeten this game substantially over the first edition, ignoring how much the expansions make other games in the series bloom. It succeeded, but this isn't one where I feel up to playing with everything all the time, or even more than once in some cases.
Arch-Squares & Metas ****
Versatile new cards freeing up more choices with the catch of more obligations. I can't tell how painstakingly balanced these are, but as in the first edition, it seems to make the game slightly harder, balanced out by some other expansions.
The Chromatic Chaos ***
These "baddie" cards are much better behaved than their monochrome cousins and are often quite handy, until they start ganging up. So much chaos gets a bit overwhelming when you're only adding these in, but they're better diluted in the mix.
Temples & Concords ***
Minimalist Arch-Squares & Metas, if you particularly want a harder version of those, or more likely just want the game to last longer.
Hanging Gardens & Wizards ****
Adds powerful residents and less accessible locations. Finally, I'm feeling some immersion.
The Books of Powers ***
I've warmed to these since the first edition, though bad luck investments in powers I probably won't use can sour the mood.
Postcards to the Oniverse **
Thematically, another module referencing all the other games in the series to this point is a delight, and the rotating hourglass card is inspired. Gameplay-wise, it's insanely demanding, with so many different goals to keep track of each turn and cards moving all over your precisely balanced metro area to ruin everything. The first expansion in the whole series that I've found unplayable, I've not managed more than a few rounds before giving up out of frustration and bewilderment. Still, I'm glad it's there.
The Emptiness **
On top of everything else, this feels like one of those late additions that's just to put the figurine to use and to ramp up the difficulty that was already well balanced. Maybe one day I'll have mastered the game enough to appreciate it, though having to remember to keep moving it is a challenge in itself.
End of the Line: Ultimion! But it's not out yet, so the grand finale will have to be an inevitable incomplete Oniverse ranking instead.
Urbion (Second Edition)
2012 (updated 2024) / Solo/cooperative card game / 1-2 players****
