Ranking Star Trek: The Next Generation season five

A season of median familiarity, I feel like I've seen the big hits enough times already, while some may be less familiar for good reason. But what else am I going to do, watch new Star Trek? Engage!

Alrightreads: Further adventures in the futile Rhys Hughes completism odyssey

Rhys Hughes, The Postmodern Mariner

2008 / Ebook/audiobook / 160 pages

****

A thoughtful centrepiece adrift in a sea of daftness.

 

Rhys Hughes, Bone Idle in the Charnel House: A Collection of Weird Stories

2001–14 (collected 2014) / Ebook/audiobook / 245 pages

****

At this point, it's rare to find one of his collections that I haven't mostly read in other forms, but many of these were entombed in solitude and hit the sweet spot of absurd strangeness.

Rhys Hughes, Thirty Tributes to Calvino

1995-2015 (collected 2015) / Ebook / 202 pages

*****

Like a naive fool, I'd expected an expansion on the earlier Ten Tributes to the tune of 20 additional tales, but that would be too normal. There's minimal overlap for those who want to explore both, though admittedly I had read nearly all of them in other collections. It's a fine set.

Rhys Hughes, Cloud Farming in Wales

2017 / Ebook / 160 pages

****

A confidently insecure novel, or thematic pun scrapbook.

Rhys Hughes, Crepuscularks and Phantomimes: Gothic, Ghostly & Lovecraftian Tales in the Ironic Mode

2002–20 (collected 2020) / Ebook / 119 pages

****

Nearly all new tales, the Lovecraftian elements mainly amount to puns, which is sure to delight any die hard acolytes checking it out on that basis.

Alrightreads: TV XX

Nick Brown, The Red Dwarf Quiz Book: Written for Smegheads by Smegheads and Definitely No Aliens

2018 / Ebook / 49 pages

***

Straight-up trivia questions without the visual puzzles of its more official and dated namesake, I was doing respectably before it got on to the later series.

Keith Topping, The Complete Slayer: An Unofficial and Unauthorized Guide to Every Episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

2004 / Ebook / 702 pages

****

A comprehensive, no-chaff episode guide from a '90s British male perspective, for better and worse. My friend was watching the series for the first time and I didn't feel like another rewatch just yet, but this kept me up to speed for vicarious thrills and trivia.

Jonathan Blum and Kate Orman, Doctor Who: Vampire Science

1997 / Audiobook / 288 pages

***

Doctor Who's weirdly off-brand yet surprisingly significant vampire arch fiends should be a natural match for the new Byronic incarnation, but it's all too cynically 90s to fully embrace that.

Kevin J. Anderson, The X-Files: Antibodies

1997 / Audiobook / 276 pages

***

A smart sci-fiey episode, certainly better than some of those.

Joe Haldeman, Star Trek: Planet of Judgment

1977 / Audiobook / 151 pages

***

An early 'Trek book written by a bona fide sci-fi author seemed like a frontier worth exploring. It's as subtly off-brand as I'd hoped, subjecting Kirk and his redshirts to gory survival horror inside an impossible anomaly, unfortunately padded out by a tedious clip show to seemingly prove that the author has actually seen the show.

Junior Gamesmaster: Tails of Equestria – Run Away Danger (DIY)

My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria – Run Away Danger

DIY roleplaying game adventure

The longest meandering adventure in our relatively short roleplaying history, this epic Dantean trek through the multiverse spanned most of the school summer holiday, like the 90s Spider Man cartoon in cardboard standees, and about as coherent.

The young Game Master didn't waste any time on gradual escalation, plotting or other boring storytelling conventions, instead launching us straight into boss rush mode using all the biggest figures from the box to devastate the players (including herselves) and their supply of emergency tokens. After that onslaught, things got more cerebrally bleak as we travelled to the future and found it naught but a black void ("because it hasn't happened yet"), but still filled with more monsters down its multiple-choice paths that ate one of us.

I passed on the advice from the rulebook that GMs should be fans of the players who actually want them to enjoy themselves, and she reined it in to be about 20% less nihilistic after that.

Alrightgames: One Page Adventures – Coast, Pirate Ship, Underwater & Church

One Page Adventures: Coast, Pirate Ship, Underwater & Church

2022 / Roleplaying game adventures / 2+ players

****

Four pages of starting notes plus my own extensive improv to fit our theme, actually, but who's counting? There were enough ideas across these spreads to inspire a kid-friendly adventure above and below sea level while leaving out the nastier stuff. I thought I'd plotted a wide enough sandbox, but more improvisation was required when the player pursued an unexpectedly self-destructive path. She's keeping me on my toes.

Alrightgames: Tails of Equestria – Tabletop Weekly Playthrough

My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria – Tabletop Weekly Playthrough

2017 / Roleplaying game adventure / 2+ players

***

I dipped into this YouTube series last year to get an idea of how to start a roleplaying game in the first place, and used the example of the Bubblegum character to help my then-four-year-old understand the process of creating her own unique character. She liked it and decided she would just do that one.

More recently, we ran out of official adventures for the game and I decided we would just do this one. It got a bit creepy in the middle (I didn't have to play that haunted mansion backing music, to be fair), and more fighty at the end than we can be bothered with (I haven't really tracked stamina since 2024), but the writer's probably correct that it feels more like the show than the published adventures do. Their playthrough would have been a whole episode shorter if their team had decided to run straight upstairs like ours did.

Gamesmaster: Tails of Equestria – Castle Karaoke (DIY)

My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria – Castle Karaoke

DIY roleplaying adventure

The name and prompt came from kids' RPG No Thank You, Evil!, but I made up the rest, Taylored to her tastes and fun for me to plot out. It ended up being a whodunnit in a similar vein to a previous pony case that she wanted to play again, but can't, since she remembers the culprit. She seemed to dig it, since she immediately followed up with her customary "I can do that" improv remix.

Junior Gamesmaster: Tails of Equestria – The Glitter Fight (DIY)

My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria – The Glitter Fight

DIY roleplaying game adventure

After a thorough retreading of the official Ogres & Oubliettes adventure that saw the young player opting to exhaust all 10 random encounters, she still wasn't full on D&D Lite, so improvised her own sequel on the fly, and I got to experience being a clueless player under her tyranny again. I think I was doing okay until the final boss, when it stopped making any semblance of sense, but we were having foolish fun without screens, and that's what it's all about.

Alrightgames: Adventures on a Single Page – The Heist (Adapted)

Adventures on a Single Page: The Heist (Adapted)

2020 / Roleplaying game adventure / 2+ players

***

A bit lightweight on its own, this became one section of a larger story after more thematic meddling than usual to fit it into My Little Pony (changing the stolen painting to Rarity's gem; making the thieves' guild a dragon embassy because we have abundant dragon standees we've never used; losing the feral cats; challenging prejudices by making it all the doings of a troubled foal, after all). The framework was still standing after that adaptation inferno, even if we didn't trigger the creative alarm system in the end, or I just forgot.

We've probably run out of compatible modules from this set now, so I'll have to find flexible inspiration elsewhere to spare us from more of my own creations.

Alrightgames: Adventures on a Single Page – Magus Moreau's Island (Adapted)

Adventures on a Single Page: Magus Moreau's Island (Adapted)

2020 / Roleplaying game adventure / 2+ players

****

A nice little conversion of vintage sci-fi horror to junior RPG scenario that adapted smoothly to the My Little Pony setting with its pre-existing chimeras and Discord lore. A Fisher Price pirate ship and Catan board representing the island enhanced the thematic hodge-podge further.

Alrightgames: Tails of Equestria – The Curious Case of the Malfunctioning P.R.A.N.C.E.R.

My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria – The Curious Case of the Malfunctioning P.R.A.N.C.E.R.

2021 / Roleplaying game adventure / 2+ players

***

Intended as a lesson in the scientific method for slightly older kids, concern about its difficulty and the young player's attention span for a neverending time loop meant I probably gave a bit too much assistance, or she just lucked out in resolving the problems on the first do-over without even going out of town to get distracted by a red herring. A Carcassonne tile map helped with visualisation and saved on drawing.

Alrightgames: Carcassonne – Count, King & Robber

Carcassonne: Count, King & Robber

2007 / Tile placement board game expansions / 2-6 players

****

We'd already been playing with some of these components in DIY or counterfeit forms, but a nicely-priced bundle was a chance to do them properly – along with lots of extra tiles to extend the map even further beyond breaking point. We play on the floor.

The Count of Carcassonne ***

The Count's convoluted rules are interesting, but hard to keep in mind even when you're not five years old. So for now, this mainly provides some extra optional fiddly setup and a nice centrepiece when we can be bothered, while the vampiric figure himself could get some roleplaying mileage.

King and Robber Baron ****

I love these incentives to build big and long, since we play more collaboratively than competitively anyway. Tile tokens are a simple way to represent the figures, though keeping score is fiddlier than their Catan equivalents – I repurposed the figures I was using for these before as markers on the features. They throw in a few random landscape tiles too, which is always appreciated.

Heretics and Shrines ****

Another compulsory complication as far as I'm concerned, the shrines add some cultural diversity and make for fun one-on-one minigames when taking on neighbouring cloisters. The only problem is there aren't many of them for balance, but keeping the old knock-offs around helps with that.

River II ***

Sneaking in to add value to the compilation, it's the sequel to the original expansion that was so beloved, it was permanently integrated with the base game thereafter. Combining both rivers is arguably too much of a good thing, so we might convert the old tiles into something else. If you're using the dragon expansion, the volcano on the lake can also set you up for a devastating early rampage to reset all progress or finally remind you to use the fairy.

Alrightgames: Carcassonne – The Tower

Carcassonne: The Tower

2006 / Tile placement board game expansion / 2-6 players

**

Resold

I swore off buying even more Carcassonne expansions, but then my daughter stuck it through a whole game for the first time, using all the tiles we had, and I don't want to limit her horizons. They have to run out at some point, surely?

This is possibly the most gimmicky expansion of them all (which is saying something), and was never on my personal list until I saw it going cheap in a bundle, but since she enjoys the divisive Princess & the Dragon, I figured she might appreciate this similarly cut-throat one too. It turned out to require considerably more strategic thinking than a five year old can muster though, and I can see the captures causing more arguments and frustration than wicked glee down the line, so I passed it on.

The storage tower was also a less convenient solution to a problem that was already solved by the bag.

Alrightgames: CATS

CATS

2024 / Micro roleplaying game / 2-6 players

***

The furry sitcom gets repetitive before long if you're relying on the dice-rolled prompts, but then the kitten got carried away and the roleplay expanded into the real world. She arguably took it too far when she demanded to try one of Wilbur's biscuits, which spent as little time in her mouth as predicted. We've all done it.

Alrightgames: Adventures on a Single Page – Lost in the Marshes (Adapted)

Adventures on a Single Page: Lost in the Marshes (Adapted)

2020 / Roleplaying game adventure / 2+ players

***

Never a viable option for our regular characters who could fly, its time came when the player felt like catching up with our old, grounded ponies Angel and Firebrand, and it was generic enough that excessively high levels and insufficiently developed skills didn't matter as we paddled between encounters, fortunately in the order that made the most sense. I got turned into a frog for a while, she ate a lot of cakes and did a big poo. Some of it was off script.

Alrightgames: Dixit – Journey

Dixit: Journey

2012 / Card game / 3-6 players

****

I already rated the pretty cards when buying those knock-offs separately, but buying a spare scoreboard from this edition off eBay meant we could  switch up our family favourite Stella for original Dixit slightly more legitimately than scoring on a whiteboard, along with having a handy reference for the rules that it turns out we were doing quite wrong. We use Stella voting tokens and supply our own pawns. It's a nice game.

Alrightgames: Stellarion expansions

Stellarion expansions

2022 / Solo/cooperative card/board game expansions / 1-2 players

The base game hinted at Onirim in Space and the expansions are less shy about that, while exploring some new frontiers.

Black Holes and Revelations **

Eating up valuable resources for the promise of tempting rewards, this mini expansion is thematically on point, but it's more annoying than helpful. I did say the base game was too easy though, so I should probably stick with it.

Theories and Breakthroughs ***

A handy power-up for an extra obligation is worth it, and the astronomy duty mostly takes care of itself, as long as you actually remember to look.

Mirrors and Orbits ****

If the multicolour card backs and observatory setting weren't already clues, the Onirim comparison becomes clear with the return of the first ever expansion task: having to complete the sets in order! It's just as intimidating and ultimately satisfying here. Going back to freedom of choice would feel like cheating now.

The Glaucous Sun ****

Combining the eponymous baddie figurine, tokens, an extra card and a bloody board, this makes the biggest statement of any Oniverse expansion. That statement being, "why isn't this the regular game?"

Installing: Cyberion >

Alrightgames: Stellarion

Stellarion

2022 / Solo/cooperative card game / 1-2 players

***

Onirim, but Aerion. I keep thinking I've found the Oniverse game that's the most lacking without its expansions, only to uncover hidden depths the more I play. Then I encountered this exercise in cosmic micro-management, which is stripped down almost to the point of pointlessness at the base level. Expanding the universe with the bundled add-ons sorts that out, but it still feels more like going through the celestial motions than having fun.

Alrightgames: Catan

Catan (a.k.a. Settlers of Catan)

1995 (2025 edition) / Strategy board game / 3-4 players

****

Although firmly on Team Carcassonne, I was curious about this other cornerstone of modern board gaming, but figured I'd wait until my daughter was old enough to comprehend or care. Then I spotted it at a bargain price that I wasn't likely to again, so snapped it up. The trading aspect lends it less well to disassociative solo playing than Carcassonne, but a mandatory 2-for-1 rule makes it workable in the meantime. At least it should be easier to resist expansion fever this time.

Alrightgames: I Doubt It

I Doubt It (a.k.a. Cheat, Bullshit)

Card game / 3+ players (or 2 players with a spare pile)

****

This exercise in sequential deception was a big hit with the five-year-old, especially when mixing two decks (including jokers) to stretch credibility further.

Babyliography CCXXI

Nick Butterworth, One Springy Day

2019 / School book / 32 pages

**

Percy the parkkeeper seems vaguely familiar. She'll be in for a shock when she gets to Farthing Wood.

Joseph Coelho and artists, Ten-Word Tiny Tales

2023 / Library book / 56 pages

***

An exercise I've tried myself, it wasn't surprising that most tended towards the creepy, sometimes too much for a for a five-year-old whose limit is Monster High. I read her a few choice morsels and enjoyed the rest myself.

Sorrel Pitts, My Little Pony Ladybird Readers Beginner: Izzy's Presents / Hitch Finds an Egg / Sparky, Where Are You? / Where Is Sunny's Lantern? / The Storm

2023 / Library books / 120 pages

**

Before she could read, these were just overly simplified storybooks, but now they're filling in as more appealing school books to keep her practising over the summer holidays. More appealing for her, at least.

Unknown, Step Into Reading: Frozen Story Collection

2015 / Paperback / 160 pages

**

Not new, but she fortunately remembered she had this on the shelf when she'd reached its reading level and it had a purpose, before it was rendered unreadable again.

Chris Van Allsburg, Jumanji

1981 / Library book / 32 pages

****

An eager re-read of the classic picture book after watching the scariest film of her young life.

Babyliography CCXX

Suzy Senior and Patrick Corrigan, How to Spot a Mermaid

2025 / Library book / 32 pages

**

Same thing as the unicorn one, choose your favourite elusive magical creature.

Alice Hemming and Mike Byrne, Collins Big Cat Phonics for Letters and Sounds: Tickets

2021 / School book / 16 pages

**

I'll be surprised if Trish isn't the most annoying character in the range.

Unknown, The Children's Encyclopedia of Animals

2015 / Paperback / 224 pages

***

A decent find in Morrisons' book exchange that should be handy for future screen-free homework, even if it was mainly appealing for the lenticular mandrill.

Dawn McMillan and Ross Kinnaird, I Need a New Bum!

2018 / Library book / 32 pages

*

She was more amused by the concept than the execution. Being sexist, I was surprised that a lady wrote it.

Clare Helen Welsh and Irene Montano, Collins Big Cat Phonics for Letters and Sounds: Scrap Rat

2020 / School book / 16 pages

**

If some plot details don't fit your rigid vocabulary scheme, just leave them unexplained, that's right.

Ranking Star Trek: The Next Generation season four

I've been hanging off that cliff for a while now, so it's probably time to treat myself / waste more precious time watching and rating another classic run of episodes, probably. I hope Jean-Luc's okay.

Alrightreads: Ghoulies

Rupert Matthews, Haunted Chester

1992 / Ebook / 24 pages

***

Studying up on atmospheric bullshit to mix up our next visit.

Alvin Schwartz and Victoria Chess, Ghosts!: Ghostly Tales from Folklore

1991 / Ebook / 64 pages

**

It's no In a Dark, Dark Room, but at least I found one safe scare to pass on.

Various, A Glitch in the Matrix: Tales of the Unexplainable Unreal

2024 / Ebook / 256 pages

****

I don't know who the TikTok-based curator is, as I'm nearly 40, but unsubstantiated accounts of weird experiences/dreams are basically my favourite things to read on the internet.

Tom Slemen, Haunted Cheshire

2004 / Paperback / 208 pages

***

More tall tales from an incredulous curator boosted by the gimmick of being set in places I've seen on road signs.

Danny Robins, Into the Uncanny

2023 / Audiobook / 315 pages

***

The author-presenter's personal experiences are the main draw, but since they're so fleeting, most of the book is just the novelisation of more engaging podcasts.

Alrightreads: Small press curios

A. E. van Vogt, Slan

1940 / Audiobook / 124 pages

***

Vintage action psi-fi, if you don't get enough xenophobic politics in your 21st-century utopia.

Michael Griffin, Armageddon House

2020 / Audiobook / 124 pages

***

Lostlike amnesiac odyssey.

Richard Herring, Emergency Questions

2017 / Ebook / 128 pages

***

In case you didn't hear them repeated often enough on his podcast, or mistakenly think half a decade is enough of a gap, why not try this relentless litany of random inquisitiveness and other familiar observations going back to the 1990s.

Berit Ellingsen, Vessel and Solsvart

2013-17 (collected 2017) / Ebook / 104 pages

***

Parables of decrepitude and painful living death. Maybe I should read cheerier things?

Faves: 'Among the Living and the Dead,' 'Summer Dusk, Winter Moon'

R. B. Russell, Putting the Pieces in Place

2009 / Ebook / 128 pages

**

Trad and subverted ghost stories in the non-atmospheric present.

Alrightgames: Chess

Chess

~600 AD / Abstract strategy game / 2 players

****

My five-year-old's never been very enthusiastic about draughts, which I thought was the junior stage she should get to grips with before introducing the more confusing characters to the board, but she found this diverse cast much more appealing and picked up the movements quickly, if not the strategy and general arseholery as of yet. I'll enjoy this brief time where I look comparatively competent.