The cusp of high school is as far back as I can reasonably* go while still trusting my memory and juvenile judgement. Accidentally getting into Star Trek at eleven was the end of childish pursuits and the beginning of one-note obsessive fandom for a few years (which was obviously totally grown-up and stuff).
No, that's not fair; I liked Red Dwarf as well.
School books are yellow. You'll also recognise them for not being about Star Trek or aliens generally.
* You passed that point of no return a long time ago, mate.
1997
Read 1996-97
****
A strong anthology of atmospheric creepers. I got the other two books in the series a few months later, which statistically must surely have been around the same level of quality, but I couldn't get into them. All my attention suddenly being diverted to a particular science fiction franchise won't have helped.
John Vornholt based on the story by Ronald D. Moore and Brannon Braga, Star Trek: First Contact – A Special Young Adult Novelization
Read 1997***
Seeing First Contact in the cinema is probably the closest thing I've had to a religious epiphany, and boy, did it radicalise me. This "young adult" (precocious child's) novelisation was probably the first Trek book I bought. While I mainly gazed at the photos in the long wait for the film to come out on video, the book captured the brisk pace of the film well, even if it amusingly sanitised the bullshits and hells ("I believe I speak for everyone here, sir, when I say... forget our orders.")
Read 1997
***
It was a nice enough quest story, but I wasn't enough of a military history buff or Warhammer guy to really get into the series.
Read 1997-2000
****
I know it's not a book, but collecting this seemingly endless weekly series for some 200-odd issues (thanks, Mum), it has to be the most extensive work I've read. Shame I didn't find practical information about the real world as interesting as pretend stuff, but you never know when knowledge about self-sealing stem bolts and reverse-ratcheting routers will come in handy.
James Blish, Star Trek: The Classic Episodes 2 & 3
****
Blish's very readable novelisations of the classic series must have been indispensable back in the 70s before videos came along. They were still useful in the 90s for this new fan who didn't want to wait through years of inconsistent BBC scheduling before he could get to see 'The Tholian Web' et al. I dipped in and out.
Read 1997
***
Even at eleven, I was sceptical about whether the famously flippant actor really wrote this lore-heavy Generations sequel (he obviously didn't). I remember being gobsmacked at the time by its logical leap of connecting V'ger and the Borg, later learning that that was entry-level fanon. I didn't bother reading the rest of "Shatner's" books.
Michael Carlin and Pablo Marcos, Star Trek: The Next Generation – Beginnings
Read 1997***
Like most people, I expect, I was a bit disappointed that DC's first volume of TNG comics bore little relation to my new favourite TV series, having been rushed into production before any of the episodes were even ready. When this became clear (probably around the time Data started crying), disappointment gave way to ironic appreciation. They're probably among the worst Trek comics ever made, but also the only ones I've read multiple times.
Read 1997
**
David Gerrold wrote one of the most fun Star Trek episodes, but his history of the series (up to Search for Spock) is pretty dry. This was the first book where I saw "†" used for footnotes. That's the most interesting thing about it.
Grant Naylor's Red Dwarf novels
Read 1997-98 etc, re-read 2018****
I'd seen the series before I read the books (that's why I was reading the books), but I hadn't seen the early years yet, so my mental images weren't hindered by a BBC Manchester budget. I still think the first book stands up as one of the best comedy novels generally, and I don't plan to shut up about that until it gets the recognition it deserves.
Read 1997
***
I'd seen the other three Python films, but hadn't seen or heard of this one when I saw this book in the library, so this was how I experienced it for the first time. I found it more disconcerting than hilarious, but I appreciated the tits.
Read 1997
***
Before I started secondary school, my mum got this out of the library for me and told me to read it for my own good. Naturally, I got started devouring this useful and exciting information straight away, even if I pretended not to be every time she checked up.
Read 1997
***
I was always more interested in the stories than the imaginary technicalities behind the plot conveniences, but I appreciated that they put in the effort all the same.
Read 1997
**
Doing a sequel to the famous mirror universe episode from the 60s wasn't necessary, but it was inevitable. So much so that Deep Space Nine would do it for real not long after, trampling over Diane Duane's continuity here. Unless they're two different alternate universes? Now you're just getting silly.
Les Martin based on the story by Chris Carter, The X-Files: Darkness Falls
Read 1997***
Every inconsistent episode of The X-Files' nostalgic first season was treated to a non-judgemental video release and junior novelisation before the bastards stopped bothering outside of the 'important' episodes. This was the only one I happened to read, but I reminded me of an archetypal episode I'd liked and would be otherwise unable to see again before they got around to releasing DVDs. You kids today with your digital boxsets on tap don't know you're born. Appreciate it.
Allan Asherman, The Star Trek Compendium – Second Edition
Diane Carey based on stories by David Gerrold, Ronald D. Moore and Rene Echevarria, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Trials and Tribble-ations
Read 1997
****
When I picked up this appealingly slim and cheap paperback in Ottakar's for a holiday read, I didn't twig at first that it was the novelisation of an actual episode that apparently existed. It was the syndicated 90s, that kind of indulgent fanwank didn't happen outside of novels – unless you were around for an anniversary. It took a year or so for the lax BBC schedule to get around to airing the episode, but the version I read and visualised was more exciting.
Read 1997****
Maybe TOS just summarises better than TNG? Whatever the reason, I found this much more readable than the dry TNG companion, getting through it on a family holiday because I'm just that fun. This edition was especially noteworthy for covering the obscure animated series that nearly all reference works avoided out of embarrassment. When they're not ruined by lazy animation, they really don't sound so bad.
Read 1997
**
This looked fun in the shop, but then we didn't have much use for it. It also relies on the out-of-character premise of Bart Simpson being really into crafts.
Read 1997
***
A useful resource for episode summaries before the internet. The behind-the-scenes info wasn't particularly insightful though, especially compared to the peerless Deep Space Nine Companion that came a few years later.
Craig Charles and Russell Bell, The Log: A Dwarfer's Guide to EverythingRead 1997–98
**
Craig Charles poses for photos in biker gear, coincidentally looking almost like that character he plays in that sitcom he isn't legally allowed to name, while someone else writes vaguely sci-fi-themed observational comedy that gives way to traditional crude humour when he runs out of ideas. It's quite a mess, occasionally funny when I was twelve.
Quark as told to Ira Stephen Behr and Robert Hewitt Wolfe, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Legends of the Ferengi
Read 1997-98***
Desperate and not entirely convincing justifications for 'rules' originally tossed out as situation-specific one-liners by the series' comic relief character, this was probably a fun writing exercise for DS9's head writers. It might also have helped to reign in some of the silliness of the already indulgent Ferengi episodes to spare us, before it bubbled up again in later seasons when book concepts like Slug-O-Cola would be canonised.
1998
Read 1998
****
This pleasant and atmospheric ghost story for kids was below my I'm-so-smart reading level when I let myself get roped into reading and discussing all the books that were up for the Carnegie medal that year. This was my favourite and it won, beating the pre-hype Harry Potter in a victory that must be eternally satisfying for the author.
Read 1998
***
A rustic dog's-eye view of bleak English history, I think you need to know more about the context than I did for the pragmatic perspective to be effective. I was basically on the same page as the dog, no idea why the humans were behaving like that.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's StoneRead 1998
**
No one had heard of the boy wizard when I was asked to read this for school, because it was one of many books up for the Carnegie medal which it hilariously lost. I didn't have to start skim-reading like I did with some of the drearier contenders, but there wasn't much to it. Maybe I would have been into it when I was nine?
Read 1998
***
Another Carnegie finalist, spending most of a Sunday forcing my way through this book aimed at younger children was voluntary homework I regretted signing up for, but it's a decent kids' story about dehumanising tabloids and accepting life's thankless struggle.
Read 1998
*
The author is down with his fellow kids in this urban tale of radical vandals that even features a rap. I think this was where I started skimming these prescribed reads to get them over with.
Read 1998
***
I only ever read two Goosebumps books and this was one of them, if gazing at vibrant paintings counts as 'reading.' I make the rules here. Look, it says 'book' in the title.
Read 1998
***
Having started and abandoned a fair few grown-up Star Trek novels, I tried out this patronising one for kids, starring the two slightly annoying teenage characters from DS9, and found it much more readable. This was book 9; I went back to the beginning with The Star Ghost but couldn't get through it. Too childish.
Chris Howarth and Steve Lyons, Red Dwarf Programme Guide: Second Revised Edition
Read 1998–2000****
No doubt my most dog-eared and well-thumbed book, this was the first Red Dwarf reference I had, at a time when I'd seen less than half of the episodes, and was how I first "watched" the rest – marvelling at the complexity of 'The Inquisitor' and 'Stasis Leak' and finding the episodes slightly disappointing compared to my imagined hype when I finally saw them a year or two later. Absolutely indispensable for a while, the A-Z section was a waste of paper though.
Edward Gross and Mark A. Altman, Captains' Logs Supplemental: The Unauthorized Guide to the New Trek Voyages
***
If you can get past the cheap and nasty presentation that avoids mentioning the name of the franchise and can only use photos of the actors and not their characters, this is a decent exploration of the then-ongoing Deep Space Nine and Voyager that was more up-to-date and insightful than any official guides at the time. Obsolete now, of course, unless you happen to be specifically interested in the 90s spin-offs as far as 1996.
Michael Okuda and Denise Okuda with Debbie Mirek and illustrators, The Star Trek Encyclopedia – A Reference Guide to the Future
***
The A-Z index was the most boring part of the Star Trek Fact Files, and this didn't compare favourably to that publication with its black and white photos and instantly outdated cut-off point in the franchise's most prolific decade. Still, as a necessary reference work, it did its job adequately. Doggedly in-universe reference books are pretty tedious though.
Read 1997
***
Great episode. Also one of the first Trek vids I bought, so I didn't need a mildly differentiated stopgap novelisation, but I picked it up cheap and read it at my dad's over the weekend, presumably wishing I'd brought the video over.
*****
Yes, it's just moviemistakes.com, but as my introduction to recreational cynicism it was a revelation. BBC repeats and video releases were stuck in the shoddy early seasons at the time, which was a drag, but this made those bad episodes fun. I regretted not buying the Deep Space Nine one that time I saw it.
Leah Rewolinski and Harry Trumbore, Star Wreck: The Generation GapRead 1998
*
Regrettably, I actually found this lowest-common-denominator parody funny at twelve, where gags are on the level of renaming 'Scotty' to 'Snotty' (LOL!) and having the tractor beam come out of an actual farm tractor (LMFAO!!!). It wasn't funny, I just felt comforted that I was in on a shared joke. A really shit joke (that apparently spawned six sequels).
Michael Jan Friedman based on the story by Jeri Taylor, Star Trek: Voyager – Day of Honor – The Television Episode
Michael Jan Friedman based on the story by Jeri Taylor, Star Trek: Voyager – Day of Honor – The Television Episode
Read 1998
**
Likely the most random episode to be credited with a novelisation (usually reserved for two-parters and other special events), this snuck through because a line of dialogue or two legitimised Pocket Books' Klingon crossover event. Or maybe no one could be arsed to write a unique Voyager story for that theme, so they wrote up what they had. Still, it was the chance to "see" a new Voyager episode that the BBC wouldn't broadcast for ages, so I took it.
Read 1998
**
I can't remember a single question from this presumably budget buy, preferring to test my trivia on that multiple-choice Amiga game I played so often that I memorised all the answers through process of elimination. I mainly remember how pathetically unauthorised this was, from its non-canon cover to the section on some series called 'Deep Space.'
Read 1998
***
I'd only seen one of these episodes at the time, such is the tragedy of pre-internet fandom. To make up for that, I recorded myself on cassette doing a one-man show of 'Marooned' that included narrating all the scene descriptions and stage directions. Unlike Dave Lister, I certainly did not lose my virginity at twelve.
Monty Python, The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus: All the Words
*****
Silly as it is by design, I seriously put this Bible-sized scriptbook up there with the finest works in literature. Or failing that, at least one of the best desert island books. I'd only seen a single episode of Flying Circus when I dipped in and out as a teenager, and lots of sketches turned out to be funnier in print and imagination than on the screen. Reading and visualising 'Confuse-a-Cat,' in particular, almost made me wet myself, but on TV it just looks amateurish.
Read 1998
***
Not one of the classic comedy books, but if the endless repetition of The Fast Show somehow left you wanting more, here is some more.
Michael Jan Friedman, John de Lancie and artists, The Best of Star Trek: The Next GenerationRead 1998
***
Written and drawn while the series was actually on the air this time, DC's authentic TNG Vol. 2 isn't as much fun as the ridiculous Vol. 1, but it passes the time. I read most or all of the collections they put out, if the library had them, but I preferred this random assortment over the longer arcs – though it's not the highest water mark for 'best' I've ever seen.
Read 1998
**
Supposedly, the old X-Files comics started out pretty good by TV tie-in standards. Unfortunately, I only dipped in at Vol. 6, by which time the main writer had left and his replacement was doing stories about soul-devouring trenchcoats.
Brian Lowry and Sarah Stegall, Trust No One: The Official Third Season Guide to The X-Files
***
I watched The X-Files from the start, when I was arguably too young, but I wasn't obsessive enough to collect in-depth guides to each respective season. This was the only one I flicked through back then, which was when I first realised how dense the mythology had become even at this early stage. I hadn't really been paying attention, I preferred the less complicated beastie episodes.
Nigel Blundell and Roger Boar, The World's Greatest UFO MysteriesRead 1998
**
I was never a UFO nut, I just liked The X-Files. This was a decent collection of alt-tabloid nonsense picked up for a pound, but the least dipped into of my modest childhood paranormal library. Most of the photo reproductions were too poor quality to be of any use, but I guess that makes them more credible than the foolishly clear one they used for the cover.
Read 1998
***
There were some genuinely spooky tales in there ('The Faces in the Floor' particularly), but not enough photos of alleged apparitions. The cover image, from a film adaptation of a debunked case, gives you an idea of the calibre of evidence you're dealing with.
Anonymous, Aliens
Read 1998****
One of those books you see for a quid or two in The Works repeatedly before caving in and buying it, this was impressively in-depth, glossy and full-colour for the budget price (that drawing of Antonio Villas Boas' naked alien lady was especially glossy by the time I finished with it). Digging into the psychology of racism, repressed sexuality and abduction experiences as birth trauma, the authors put in more effort than they were contractually required to, whoever they were, and this was a formative text for my scepticism generally.
George Orwell, Animal Farm: A Fairy Story
Read 1998***
Not read for school, but unusually forced on me by my dad, who'd found a budget paperback and probably decided it would be a more worthwhile use of my time than reading endless Star Trek books. It's fair to say I didn't understand the historical and political context behind the allegory at twelve (I didn't get Star Trek VI back then either), but there were obviously lessons going on. It's a fable about animals though, what am I, seven?
Read 1998
***
A completely arbitrary selection for the only TOS novel I read all the way through, that's because it was arbitrarily given away free with Star Trek magazine one time. It turned out to be more interesting than the ones I'd deliberately selected from bookshop or library shelves and given up on after a chapter (Sarek, Crossover, et al.), so maybe there's a lesson there. Read what you're given?
Michael Jan Friedman, Star Trek: The Next Generation – The Captain's Table – Dujonian's Hoard
Read 1998****
'The Captain's Table' was the only one of Pocket Books' otherwise unimaginative crossover events that I found appealing, and Picard going on a treasure hunt sounded more fun than the other entries. It's still probably the most entertaining Star Trek novel I've read, so I probably should have taken the hint and switched to sea shanties rather than struggling stubbornly through licensed mediocrity.
1999
Howard Weinstein, Rod Whigham and Gordon Purcell, Star Trek: Tests of Courage
Read 1999***
Star Trek comics were normally only good when they were bad, but this was the most satisfying story arc I read. I imagined at the time (13 or so) that it would have made a servicable Star Trek VII – doubtless because it had the superficial trappings of Star Trek VI – and I even read the dialogue out loud and timed it to see if that would work. I don't know why I admitted that. Did I do the voices and sound effects as well? Almost certainly.
Read 1999
***
Daring to browse the library bookshelves outside of tie-ins to television programmes I liked, I might have had more success with this violent supernatural crime caper if they'd had a collection earlier than Vol. 7 so I could get my bearings. But maybe it still wouldn't have been my thing.
Read 1999
***
The only Dickens I was ever required to read, these days I'd be more appreciative of the purple prose for its own sake, but the length would still make it an ordeal. I might even get less out of it, since at least I could put myself in Pip's shoes back when they were more likely to fit.
Viz, The Viz Book of Crap Jokes / More Viz Crap Jokes
****
Between us, my friend Simon and I had the crap canon covered. He probably didn't buy the book for himself though.
Read 1999
***
Background and selected sketches for all or most of the kerr-azy characters from Harry's TV shows and stand-up. "Nice!" Oh hang on, that's not him, I mean, "brilliant!"
Richard Curtis, Ben Elton and Rowan Atkinson, Blackadder: The Whole Damn Dynasty
Read 1999-2000
*****
Blackadder translates exceptionally to print, especially when it's so lovingly presented with period-specific formatting and illustrations. You lose the enunciations and facial expressions, but only if you haven't watched the episodes enough times to drill them into your memory. The original supplementary material doesn't add much, and the gaping omission of the Christmas and Comic Relief specials is as irritating as when they weren't included on the DVD set either, but this was still a handy asset for 90s teenage comedy nerds to have ready for subversive school performances (we did 'Private Plane,' I was Balders) and silent reading sessions with stifled chuckles.
Read 1999
*****
One of the best Star Trek reference works, I would have exchanged all the technical manuals and other superfluous publications for another volume or two of insightful concept sketches, adorably recycled props and gorgeously unconvincing matte paintings.
Terry J. Erdmann with Paula M. Block, Star Trek: Action!
Read 1999**
Not being a fim student or particularly interested in the technical aspects of production, I wouldn't have bothered checking out this highly specific reference work if I wasn't taking advantage of a promotional offer that was ultimately taking advantage of me. It was only really valuable for offering privileged access to season finales that I wouldn't have the chance to see for a while.
Herman Zimmerman, Doug Drexler and Rick Sternbach, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Technical ManualRead 1999
**
Adding colour and glossy paper should technically make this an improvement over the TNG one, but it comes off more like an in-character Dorling-Kindersley guide than real blueprints. DS9 was my favourite Trek, but that wasn't down to the Treknology.
Read 1999
***
The X-Files film was a big deal, even if lagging a year behind on British terrestrial TV made it more confusing than it was already. This is a functional and disposable guide to how they did the effects and stuff, interspersed with photos of Gillian Anderson looking beautiful.
Read 1999
***
If you're obsessed with Star Trek IX, or more likely padding out a book club promo offer with things you're not really bothered about one way or another, this is your chance to peek behind the curtain and see how they executed those distractingly sub-par special effects when Industrial Light & Magic was too busy or expensive. 'Secrets' my arse.
J. M. Dillard based on the story by Rick Berman and Michael Piller, Star Trek: Insurrection
**
I didn't hate the film's guts like many people seemed to, though it's fair to say I wasn't awaiting its video release anywhere near as eagerly as the previous one. In that span, I'd graduated from junior to adult novelisation, how very grown up. This was only notable for including the deleted scenes, which was the right editing call in every case. Riker and Troi's library flirting remains one of the most cringeworthy scenes I've ever read.
Read 1999
*
Star Trek can be pretty profound sometimes. If you're the sort of person who likes to dispense quotes on cue, and you're not ashamed to be quoting a character who doesn't really exist, you'll get more out of it than I did.
Stewart Lee and Richard Herring, Lee & Herring's Fist of Fun
*****
The most unexpected library find since discovering Red Dwarf had novels, this high-effort TV tie-in became a Bible of sorts, whether it was providing amusement in tough times or inspiration for creative writing work at university where I shamelessly ripped it off.
Henry Gilroy and Rodolfo Damaggio based on the story by George Lucas, Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom MenaceRead 1999
**
I was never a big Star Wars fan, only really liking the first two, so while I didn't escape Phantomania entirely, I didn't go so far as to actually go and see the much-hyped film. Not until we rented it on video, a year or so after I read it in bland comic form. It wasn't very good, was it?
Various, The Star Trek Script Books, Book One: The Q Chronicles – The Q ScriptsRead 1999
**
Q bagged more than his fair share of the best episodes, but I don't know why you'd want to read them in unembellished screenplay form rather than watching them. Are you staging an amateur production of Tapestry or something?
Charles Kurts, These Are the Voyages: A Three-Dimensional Star Trek Album
Read 1999****
An immaculately designed pop-up book with a snazzy hologram cover, I couldn't resist buying this when I saw it on sale in a shop, but somehow felt a bit childish doing so. Because reading unimaginative, authorised fanfic novels is somehow more respectable than appreciating clever art. Deep Space Nine and the wormhole were especially impressive.
Read 1999
*
A 'classic' Trek novel on the basis of it being the first one, and for no other reason, this was re-released to celebrate 30 years of the franchise in print and given away free with Star Trek magazine, so the next generation didn't have to miss out on its out-of-character and racist depictions of their favourite space heroes.
2000
Read 2000, re-read 2018
***
Howarth & Lyons' Programme Guide was more comprehensive and made fewer basic errors, but Dessau gave it a good go for someone who was evidently unfamiliar with the series before the assignment. Nice behind-the-scenes photos, even if they're mislabelled more often than not.
Read 2000
*
When Wildstorm started releasing a new line of Trek comics, I finally fulfilled my destiny of becoming someone who buys the new releases of a comic book from a comic shop on a regular basis, regardless of quality. After this lavish but lacklustre Voyager short, I got half-way through a TNG four-parter before reconsidering my life and my limited finances.
Doug Naylor, Red Dwarf VIII: The Official Book
Read 2000***
It's a shame that the most lavishly presented and comprehensively detailed Red Dwarf book is dedicated to arguably the worst Red Dwarf there is ("'Cassandra' was good though" – mandatory). Having watched those episodes taped off TV endlessly in the year or so after broadcast, and then mostly never again because I got hold of better Red Dwarf, it was interesting to see all the deleted dialogue and to read about what might have been. There was no salvaging VIII though.
Read 2000
**
Maybe I'll have a Shakespeare revelation later in life, but this introduction didn't win me over. If you caught a contemporary performance, you could at least appreciate the meta angle of an effeminate man playing a woman playing a man, but that's lost nowadays thanks to bloody equality. Its greatest legacy is inspiring a classic Blackadder episode – now that's how you do Elizabethan comedy.
Terry J. Erdmann with Paula M. Block, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion
Read 2000*****
Deep Space Nine was my favourite Trek and one of my favourite TV shows generally, so I was very pleased when the compulsory episode guide turned out to be so damned definitive. Filled with current rather than retrospective interviews and concept art, it's the best reference work I've ever read and everything a fan could want, short of it existing in ebook form, please.
