Even if there was any way I could remember every single book I read as a child, I wouldn't want to waste time talking about them all. Most of them were rubbish and rather childish. Some of them were fantastic.
To keep things relatively sane, here are some of the more substantial books* I remember reading in and out of school in juniors (age 8–11, pre Star Trek). That's the earliest I can go where I can still imagine possibly reading them again for fun, and might possibly have done so as a grown man from time to time. Maturity is just a number.
I won't add all of these to the book list, that would just be embarrassing. School books in yellow.
* I bet he breaks this rule immediately.
Sep–Dec 1993
Read 1993-95
****
Alright, so this isn't substantial (especially not the ghosts), and as a picture book with as many words per page as Spot Goes to the Farm, it was below my reading level. That was part of the reason I found it so funny. Especially good for tormenting younger siblings.
Tom Stacy, Peter Bull and Sebastian Quigley, Sun, Stars & PlanetsRead 1993-94
***
My First Space Book, this schooled me up on the planets and other basics. Packed with scientific knowledge, it had to include a ridiculous section on astrology too for balance. I think we got this free or discounted with Weetabix tokens. We had Earth, Sea & Sky as well, but that wasn't as interesting, obviously.
Read 1993-96
****
Despite clearly being an Orwellian plot to normalise the surveillance state, these were always fun and the high-effort art was admirable. Fantastic Journey was the first I read/played, the underwater level was a cheeky get.
Read 1993-94
***
My mum was always good at choosing Christmas stocking fillers that kept me busy so she could get an extra couple of hours of sleep. These mildly cryptic puzzles were well done, even if I didn't understand the need to insert child audience surrogates and to come up with some contrived fantasy storyline rather than just having adults run around the familiar sets.
1994
Read 1994, re-read 2014
***
This was my introduction to adventure gamebooks when I bought it from a book fair at primary school. It didn't exactly feel like I was playing Knightmare, more like Dungeon Quest on the Amiga, but it was nice and straightforward. The book also included a boring, linear story that I didn't bother to read until 20 years later. Wasn't worth the wait.
Read 1995
***
The laid-back, creaky attractions of the Isle of Wight made it my favourite holiday destination as a child, and the wax museum's Chamber of Horrors was the best I'd seen (I was a connoisseur). This souvenir guide presented them in all their gory glory. Good for scaring a younger sibling, again.
Read 1994
***
Between brothers, we had all four parts of this academic B-movie tetralogy, but I don't remember bothering past the first one. Compared to Bruce Coville's other alien series, it's pretty basic and maybe aimed at slightly younger readers who aren't already sneakily watching The X-Files past their bedtime.
E. B. White, Charlotte's Web
Read 1994****
I don't remember Mrs Clarke or my classmates crying when she read us this touching tale, but it still affected me. Not enough to make me a vegetarian, but I've always been kind to spiders at least.
We read The Sheep-Pig as well, but the jeopardy of whether or not Babe would perform his trick adequately felt somewhat less urgent than Wilbur's plight.
We read The Sheep-Pig as well, but the jeopardy of whether or not Babe would perform his trick adequately felt somewhat less urgent than Wilbur's plight.
1995
Read 1995
****
Our school was crazy for Ted Hughes' poetic sci-fi pacifism classic. At the time I enjoyed its Godzilla-style action on a superficial level, but it's also got allegorical depth that would make Rod Serling proud.
Read 1995
**
As a child with OCD tendencies, I remember being irked by the assymetry of this being significantly longer than The Iron Man, meaning I didn't get to spend as much time with that better book. Its environmental messages are more heavy-handed, but this was the 90s, I was used to it.
Read 1994
**
Highlighting gender issues for kids more sensitively than something like Dr Jekyll and Sister Hyde, this reminded me of Big, but I mainly remember it for launching an assignment to write our own gender swap story, which I probably would have done in my free time anyway. Mrs Clarke was the best teacher ever.
Read 1995
**
Functional junior adaptation of the loud comedy film, with photos. Most notable in our house for that time my brother accidentally pissed on it, rendering its pages yellow and crinkly on the bookshelf after it had dried out in the immersion cupboard. Throwing it away wasn't an option.
Read 1995
**
An unremarkable kids' book I only read because I liked its cartoony cover. This might have been the first book I ever reviewed, as a required school activity before I started doing them for fun.
Read 1995, re-read 1996, 2019
****
The first proper, adult book I ever read, any parts that might have been challenging I just let wash over me, same as the more grown-up parts of the film. I remember when Tim exclaiming "holy shit" was by far the naughtiest thing I'd ever read.
Read 1992-95
***
C. S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn TreaderRead 1995, re-read 2005
*****
The first Narnia book I read, I got swept up in its magical nautical adventure and craved more that the rest of the series couldn't provide. I rented the BBC adaptation afterwards, which failed to live up to my mental images somewhat.
Read 1995, re-read 2005
*****
I enjoyed the Narnia prequel so much, I pulled a sickie from school so I could keep reading it. I would have forgotten whatever rubbish they taught that day, but this theological sci-fi classic stayed with me.
C. S. Lewis, The Horse and His Boy
Read 1995, re-read 2005
***
It's not the most obvious contender for the next Narnia book to read in my scattered sequence, so it was probably based on library availability. I found it a bit of a slog, but forced my way through it out of loyalty. I didn't feel similarly burdened to continue with the rest of the series though, maybe it put me off.
Read 1995
****
I absorbed most of the Roald Dahls passively through school discussions and Jackanory, rather than sitting down and reading them, but this was the first one I gave a proper read. I got caught up in the dreamy psychedelic trip and might have finished it in one sitting.
Read 1995, re-read 1996
*****
One of my favourite childhood books, I read it several times and found it properly creepy in places, with an emotionally complex finale that stretches the definition of a happy ending. The concept of child predators cloaking themselves as benevolent figures and charity organisations is the most disturbing part, because it's non-fiction.
Read 1995
**
I didn't enjoy Roald Dahl's down-to-earth memoirs as much as his fables and nightmares, but I was encouraged to read them by a supply teacher who kept tabs on how it was going for some reason that was never entirely clear. She at least let me quit Going Solo when I admitted it wasn't really my thing.
Read 1995, re-read 1996, 2018
****
This psychedelic odyssey exploded my imagination as a child, so much that I ripped off its vivid descriptions of alien landscapes and Katherine Coville's character designs in my own juvenilia. If you strip away the technobabble, this tale of giant castles, mushroom houses and doors between worlds felt like a modern update of Narnia. Rod's bratty cousin Elspeth is basically Eustace.
Read 1995
**
This junior sci-fi thriller was somehow more of a struggle than Jurassic Park. My main motivation to persevere was seeing the developing organism become increasingly monstrous with each new chapter heading.
Read 1995
****
Much more compelling than Hydra, I really enjoyed this kids' horror story, and followed in its footsteps when we visited Whitby and the Dracula Experience shortly after on a family holiday. I still read things like this all the time, but grown-up versions. There's nothing more grown-up than ghost stories.
Nigel Gross and Jon Sutherland, Sonic the Hedgehog Adventure Gamebooks: Sonic v. Zonic / The Zone Zapper
Read 1995-96**
You wouldn't think that a video game franchise based around running fast and jumping would be a perfect fit for the slow and contemplative gamebook format. You'd be right. They could have at least done some play testing to make sure kids wouldn't end up trapped in impossibly labyrinths. Good thing I kept my finger in the previous page as a makeshift starpost.
1996
Gillian Cross, The Demon Headmaster / The Prime Minister's Brain / Hunky Parker is Watching You (a.k.a. Revenge of the Demon Headmaster)
***
I read these before they made the TV series, because I'm cool. Reading books about school is cool, right? Junior gothic sci-fi succour for Doctor Who's lost generation.
John Arcudi and Doug Mahnke, The MaskRead 1996, re-read 2015
*
This was my first encounter with "mature" comics (really not the appropriate term), when I first discovered the graphic novel section of Crewe Library a few years before I really should have. Clearly the source material for that funny film I liked, it was quite different. I stared at some of those ghoulish, ultraviolent images long enough for them to be burned into my memory, got around to reading it properly a couple of decades later.
Read 1996
***
This did the rounds at school when we were a couple of years younger than the diarist, and was mostly notable for being mildly, confusingly dirty. I had to quiz my Dad about what legovers and wet dreams are. "Is that when you wet the bed?" "...Yes."
Read 1996
***
Gardner's accurate transcription of the second film lacks the uncanny pre-production strangeness and authorial embellishments of George Gipe's legendary novelisation of the first one, so it's better and worse at the same time. Having only seen the pre-watershed BBC edit of Part II at the time, this was where I learned that Strickland-A wasn't threatening to shoot Marty in his "guts" after all.
Read 1996, re-read 2018
***
I was delighted to spot the sequel to Sneakers in a bookshop on holiday. This didn't have the same brisk pace and sense of cosmic wonder, but it went even weirder. I left myself hanging off that cliff for 22 years before reading the final one.
Read 1996
**
I had the choice between all of Mark Haddon's Agent Z books, but rather than risk experiencing something new, I bought the one I'd already seen on TV. That's like those people who buy an album and skip straight to the single they like. It was interesting for comparing and contrasting the adaptation process, I suppose. Idiot.
Various, Ripley's Believe It or Not!: Strange Coincidences
Read 1996****
When you're browsing a gift shop under time pressure, you only have a moment to choose the sole, affordable souvenir that will stay on your bookshelf for the rest of your childhood. I was impressed that my brother chose something unconventional and interesting that I enjoyed dipping in and out of, rather than a book about the world's stickiest bogies or something. I've only just considered that some of these might have been made up.
Read 1996
**
I've never seen Beavis and Butt-head, but as rude cartoon characters who said rude words and had a rude word in their name, they were rebelliously appealing to me growing up, regardless of the quality of the content. They perved on their neighbour and lost their pants on a water slide, that's about as much as I remember. And yams.
Andrew and Bernard Galbraith, The Adventures of Yorrik
Read 1996
**
Apparently the most obscure thing I've ever read, I was drawn to this book by its cover (which doesn't exist on the internet) of a roller-skating skull. A collection of amateur comic strips written for radio, it was as good as that description suggests, but it included words like 'git' and 'knackered,' so I enjoyed it on that level when I was ten.
Read 1996, re-read 2018
***
Reading in the wrong order, I found Rod Allbright's first alien adventure disappointingly basic and grounded after I'd accompanied him and the gang through various dimensions, giant plants and digestive tracts. The character introductions helped to clarify a couple of things that would have been nice to have known all along, like what colours people were.
Read 1996
***
I was probably a bit too old to be reading a fairy story about a goblin genie at eleven, but the outmoded prose and vintage illustrations gave me pleasant Narnia flashbacks, even if the story wasn't as convincingly magical.
Read 1996
**
Where do they get their crazy, borderline-copyright-infringing ideas from? This incredibly cheeky release doesn't match up to Wally, obviously, but I was impressed by the pleasant artistic renderings of familiar zones when my brother bought it, so at least someone put in the effort.
Read 1996
***
My brother sensibly spent his monthly comic allowance on childish books rather than childish comics, collecting as many of these as they put out across however many series they did until he'd had enough. This was the only one I read, it was passable.
