There's my goddamn monkey!

Cheeky monkey tried to eat my headphones

How's that for a happy ending? No, not that kind. Even though I'm in Thailand.

I had time in my schedule (ha ha, the very idea that my life has anything as structured as a 'schedule') to fit in another couple of Thaislands before heading back to Thmainland (that one doesn't work so well, it just looks like I'm dyslexic).

So I chose Koh Samui for macaques, cock rocks and corpses.

Wat Leam Suwanaram

Unnecessary hands

Unnecessarily Big Buddha

If there was one place I thought I could wear my man bikini free from prejudice, it was Thailand

Wat Phra Yai

Welcome to Koh Fan island

Even more unnecessarily Big Buddha

(Phra Buddha Kodom)

Is that a visual pun on the Dalai 'Llama?' I'm too culturally ignorant to know

Wow, that isn't inappropriate

View of Koh Pha Ngan. I didn't go there.
You can't expect me to visit every Thaisland! You want the moon on a stick

Ladkoh

More nice views. Are you in Thailand yet?

Hin Ta and Hin Yai

(Grandfather and Grandmother Rocks)

I promised you more phallic rocks.

Have I ever let you down? (Probably)

Dicks

Granny's fanny was off limits due to tidal concerns (well, she is getting on a bit).

But this is what it looks like. Stolen from samuibackpack.com

Flaccid grandfather rock (it even has grass pubes!)

As I've pointed out before, you can see anything in random stimuli if you try.

Like this collection of floating glanses (is that the correct plural of glans? Hopefully the last time that question will come up in my life)

Monkey Show

Look at him go!

Work that coconut!

Gosh, I don't know what to say... I've never been very good at these things. I'd like to thank God, um...

Khunaram Temple

Ioung Pordaeng's tomb

Ioung Pordaeng's mummified corpse

Wait… WHAT?

Yes, after his corpse failed to show signs of putrefaction for three days, Ioung's family took this as a sign that they should preserve his body in the same meditative position in which he died.

But they were only human, and couldn't resist adding some nifty shades and a silly curtain (what do you mean he was wearing that already?)

Namuang Waterfall

Seriously, why aren't you in Thailand yet?

The chains are still on

I didn't pay extra for the elephant ride, even though it would have been another great experience. There'll be plenty of time to take advantage of abused pachyderms when I head north

Nathon Town

Talk about ending on a downer. Who'd name the major town of their island after the shittest name in the English language? Even 'Ian' is better than 'Nathan'

Who keeps a pigeon in a cage? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

Next stop: Mae Koh