Literally everything I spent last month

There were a couple of reasons why I never travelled before eight months ago.

One was my workaholic dislike of holidays (to me, 'holidays' means that extra money they add to your last pay packet when you quit a job), and the other was that I mistakenly thought travelling had to be expensive. Blame it on all the luxury travel agents I wrote copy for - I started believing my own propaganda.

But I've discovered travelling really isn't expensive, especially when you go somewhere cheap like South East Asia. It costs me less to travel around Malaysia, enjoy life and eat nice food all the time than it did to exist in a miserable flat in the UK, eating whatever crap I scavenged from the Reduced to Clear section of Morrissons and waiting for the blessed relief of death.

You say this a lot, but where's the evidence to back it up?

Oh I see, you want needlessly thorough and intrusive stats on my finances do you? You want the moon on a stick.

Enjoy!

Tioman kangaroo down, sport

My resort on Tioman Island could be accurately marketed as a zoo, where I can sit on the porch and watch mental monkeys, gargantuan monitor lizards, inexplicable goats and too many cats getting along in racial harmony, and only occasionally pilfering my biscuits. The furry gets.

Here are some Tiomanimals.

(Disclaimer: Features gory animal death. Does not feature kangaroos)

Tea for the Tioman

It wasn't until I came to Pulau Tioman that I really appreciated a good island. This is a bally good island.

I've been to plenty over the last few months, gradually overcoming my Bill Hicksesque distaste for the beach and learning to relll. But when I started to miss Pulau Perhentian after my last island trip, I vowed to give myself as long as it took to get sick of paradise the next time around.

I've been here 12 days and counting, which by my restless standards is about eight months. It's not like I have some place I need to go. Really, I'd be crazy to ever leave.