Thursday, December 1, 2011

Like a rubbish Venice

That was my market-weary verdict when I arrived at Damnoen Saduak Floating Market, the most famous floating market in Thailand (or at least the closest one of any significance to Bangkok, for the lazier sightseers) and apparently the most popular tourist attraction in the country (again, probably due to laziness).

Don't you like spending sleepless, uncomfortable nights on long-distance buses where the staff go through your bags and steal anything of value? What's wrong with you?

Anyway, spending an hour and a half in this floating tourist tat trap didn't do much to change my opinion, though I could at least look forward to the better things coming up later on my package day tour. (Who's the lazy one now?) The floating market was just the reluctant extra - like all those damn butterfly gardens in Malaysia.

Damnoen Saduak Floating Market (ดำเนินสะดวก),

I heard Thailand had flooded, but this is ridiculous. LOLKEMIA!

It's hard to know how to react when the ladies shout 'YOU!' and point to the tiny bananas. Clearly my reputation precedes me

The pretty lady wouldn't turn around. These Thai women are so hard to get (...)

I don't even spend money on useful things like going to the doctor, so why would I buy this rubbish, pointless stuff? I feel I'm not their target audience.

After a while, I passed the time by trying to find
the worst thing here

Did it

This guy was charging 200 baht if you wanted a photo with his snake hanging off you. Fortunately, my wiz Photoshop abilities meant I could achieve the effect for free (that's right - that isn't really me in the picture!) 

Get in touch through this blog and send me a headshot for realistic photoplasties of yourself. Women also need to send a full nude torso picture for lighting and administrative purposes

Longtail bost ride - at least this bit was fun, and people didn't try to sell me rubbish

What an incredible marketing slogan. Why hasn't anyone thought of it before?
I didn't see the snake show, so can't say if it lived up to the hype. But why would they lie?

It's some temple, isn't it? I'll see more interesting temples in Cambodia


  1. I hope the better things coming up later in your package tour include the bridge over the River Kwai and tigers!

  2. It's either depressing or a sign of commitment that I view trips like this in a '3 blogs for the price of 1 day out' context when booking.

    I still have to get round to preparing my Cambodia blogs, which are just annoying. How am I supposed to differentiate one overgrown jungle temple from another? Do I look like Tony Robinson? (Maybe when he was in Blackadder Goes Forth).