I can count!
1986 / Audiobook / 256 pages / USA
**
I didn't think much of Neuromancer as a teenager, but thought I might have grown into it, or that its retro future might appear more charming with further vintage. The sequel left me similarly cold, maybe because I lost track of what was going on fairly early. This new-fangled cyberpunk moves too fast for me.
2006 / Ebook / 125 pages / USA
**
I'm not a fan of sleazy cock rock generally, but I always liked the over-the-top pomp of 'November Rain,' so if I was going to give anything a look, it'd be the indulgent double album. For all its bloat, there's apparently not much substance worth writing about though, our chronicler choosing the role of character assassin over critic.
Mike W. Barr and Tom Sutton based on a screenplay by Harve Bennett, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
1984 / Ecomic / 64 pages / USA***
I think I read somewhere that this comic adaptation followed an earlier edit of the film, but the economy of a 60-page abridgement makes it hard to tell whether the altered sequencing of events and extra dialogue are really residue, or just Mike Barr making the best use of space. Though one extra line finally clarified part of the plot that I'd never really understood for decades, so there might be something to it.
1984 / Ebook / 228 pages / USA
****
From vintage fantasy and Chinese woo to wormholes and block universes, this brain-expanding maths-fi classic has puzzles the reader can engage with as they go along to get the most out of the experience. If you're a more active reader than I am, anyway.
1972 / Audiobook / 244 pages / USA
****
A fantastic space-gothic novella supplemented by related expanded-universe tales that are inevitably nowhere near as good. Still, that was a better option than padding out the original story to book length and ruining it.
Faves: 'The Fifth Head of Cerberus.'
Worsties: '"A Story," by John V. Marsch,' 'V.R.T.'
2014 / Audiobook / 336 pages / USA
***
Nothing I found especially shocking or stirring here, which probably just speaks to my disillusionment generally. The parts where the author describes her travel adventures would have been better and less out of place in a documentary.
2018 / Ebook / 168 pages / USA
***
I've never revisited FF7 since my youth, mostly because I can't work out ISOs and emulators, so this po-faced analysis of storytelling and game mechanics with screencaps was a nice trip down memory lane, if boring.
1997 / Audiobook / 288 pages / UK
**
I've sometimes thought about embarking on one of these book ranges that tided over fans in the barren years, but there are far too many for my insufficient enthusiasm to bother with. I doubt I would've stuck with it beyond this false start to the Paul McGann post-movie era anyway, which wastes its pages on a tedious clip show rather than kicking its own thing off.
1993 / Audiobook / 493 pages / Spain
****
A contrived literary indulgence about stuffy book lovers for stuffy book lovers, with a bonus Satanic edge for goths. He's no Umberto Eco, but if you sometimes miss being forced to read things academically, it scratches that same itch.
1999-2001 (collected 2015) / Ecomics / 352 pages / UK
****
I'm normally strict on publication order over chronology, but reading The Forty-Niners first set me up to enjoy Alan Moore's superpowered cop show without being too distracted by trying to work out was going on. As a more general sentimental pisstake of comic heroes and villains, it's an easier ride than the League, but also less rewarding.
Mike Taylor, The Eleventh Doctor: A Critical Ramble Through Matt Smith's Tenure in Doctor Who
****
I'll resist the urge to ramble less astutely about the only era of this children's programme that meant something to me, since I've already done that (more than once), and talk about the actual book. As reprinted and supplemented blogs, rather than a hindsight-spoiled retrospective, it's a nice time capsule of what it was like to ride the four-year rollercoaster, complete with the type of nostalgic fan theories we all indulged in, but didn't all commit to print.
Joe Dever, Lone Wolf, Book 12: The Masters of Darkness
***
You wouldn't pick up a fantasy series at book 12, would you? Though if you were in a charity shop or hostel and desperate, you might. That's what happened to me when I discovered Joe Dever's decreasingly n00b-friendly gamebooks at book 11 before backtracking online, and the final book unsurprisingly isn't any easier to get into without the benefit of cumulative stat bonuses and items from previous adventures, despite what the blurb claims. I never got very far. Not the fairest assessment, but I wasn't having fun.
Will Osborne, 13 Ghosts: Strange But True Ghost Stories
***
I lapped up these "true" "ghost" stories as a kid, before joining a sceptical paranormal group with the objective of busting ghost nonsense to ruin it for everyone. Now I'm back gathering fake news to pass down to the younger generation and continue the cycle, because it's fun while it lasts.
Faves: 'The Ghost Who Carried a Coffin,' 'The Phantom of the German Submarine,' 'The Ghost in the Rattling Chains.'
Worsties: Most of them.
2008 / Audiobook / 319 pages / UK
****
An immersive and exhaustive guide to everyday life across the social strata that busts some myths along the way, since the author's actually been there and everything.
Claire North, The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August2014 / Audiobook / 416 pages / UK
***
Do you ever catch yourself daydreaming that you've been reincarnated back at the start of your life with your current knowledge and experience, wondering how you'd do things differently from this unfairly privileged starting point? This is that, stretched out to a novel.
Ian Mortimer, The Time Traveller's Guide to Elizabethan England: A Handbook for Visitors to the Sixteenth Century2012 / Audiobook / 432 pages / UK
****
Even more detailed and immersive than the medieval one, thanks to the richer sources available (less pissy overall). Invaluable if this situation ever comes up, but a comprehensive overview of humdrum life is going to drag from time to time.
Ian Mortimer, The Time Traveller's Guide to Restoration Britain: Life in the Age of Samuel Pepys, Isaac Newton and The Great Fire of London (a.k.a. A Handbook for Visitors to the Seventeenth Century: 1660-1700)
2017 / Audiobook / 464 pages / UK
****
Some of the more subtle changes and lack thereof mean it gets repetitive at times – and all the lists that would be invaluable for someone's coursework are tedious to sit through, even when the audiobook narrator sounds like Patrick Stewart – but on the whole, I found it more engrossing than its predecessors. I don't know if he's planning a Victorian volume, but there are some thought-provoking questions raised at the end that wrap up the whole journey satisfyingly.
Russell Stinson, J. S. Bach's Great Eighteen Organ Chorales
2001 / Ebook / 192 pages / USA
***
Another attempt to appreciate the Shakespeare of music (I didn't make it through Music in the Castle of Heaven), these derivative ditties for church organ are a friendly length, with enough variation to make a satisfying album. I can't say that Stinson's technical track-by-track analysis eludicated anything for me, but I appreciated the fanatical enthusiasm.
Faves: 'Fantasia super Komm, Heiliger Geist,' 'An Wasserflüssen Babylon,' 'Nun komm' der Heiden Heiland,' 'Komm, Gott, Schöpfer, Heiliger Geist.'
Faves: 'Fantasia super Komm, Heiliger Geist,' 'An Wasserflüssen Babylon,' 'Nun komm' der Heiden Heiland,' 'Komm, Gott, Schöpfer, Heiliger Geist.'
Various, Twilight Zone: 19 Original Stories on the 50th Anniversary
2009 / Audiobook / 444 pages / Various
****
This good-value anthology of authentic homages and smart-arse subversions was a fitting anniversary tribute to the classic series and better than some of the TV revivals... of The Twilight Zone.
Faves: Deborah Chester's 'The Street That Forgot Time,' R. L. Stine's 'The Wrong Room,' John Miller's 'Your Last Breath, Inc.'
Worsties: Lucia St. Clair Robson's 'A Chance of a Ghost,' Robert J. Serling's 'Ghost Writer,' Jim DeFelice's 'The Soldier He Needed to Be.'
Faves: Deborah Chester's 'The Street That Forgot Time,' R. L. Stine's 'The Wrong Room,' John Miller's 'Your Last Breath, Inc.'
Worsties: Lucia St. Clair Robson's 'A Chance of a Ghost,' Robert J. Serling's 'Ghost Writer,' Jim DeFelice's 'The Soldier He Needed to Be.'
1998 / Ebook / 156 pages / USA
***
In-depth analysis of two pleasant but non-gripping pieces that quite correctly isn't dumbed down to my comprehension level.
Collected 1917 / Audiobook / 220 pages / India
**
A pesky goblin relentlesly bullies a king into settling the moral of twenty-two tales, through the warped prism of his particular time, culture and status. Less offensive than the One Thousand and One Nights, but also less memorable, hence the obscurity.
2018 / Ebook / 208 pages / UK
*****
There we go, I knew this stupid reading exercise would pay off if I went far enough. I've got big, humdrum plans to return to a life more ordinary in the new decade, so this UK-centric grimoire with instructions on how to appreciate what you've bloody got will be handy as well as inspiring.
2008-14 (collected 2014) / Ebook / 73 pages / USA
**
Guy knows his noir, but I'm confused about why he only included a fraction of the reviews written on this subject for his blog, when he could have easily made it a proper length and better value.
William Zinsser, On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing Non-Fiction (25th Anniversary Edition)1976 (updated 2001) / Ebook / 322 pages / USA
****
Occasional rules, but mainly sensible advice and informed preferences for writing clearly and simply about anything, with examples aplenty. You won't learn how to rank in search engines or how to stand out in social media feeds, but you'll learn how to write for people who like to read.
Maxim Gorky, Twenty-Six and One and Other Stories (a.k.a. Twenty-Six Men and a Girl)
****
I prefer to take works on their own merits rather than investigate the authenticity of the author's experience, but the preface made it clear that these three tales of the daily struggle and twats who opt to make it worse are more or less autobiographical. Their elegance keeps it from being a total bummer.
Fave: 'Twenty-Six and One.'
Worstie: 'Tchelkache.'
1999 / Ebook / 160 pages / UK
**
Structural and contextual analysis of the famous one and four others I can imagine Tom playing as Jerry torments him inside the piano. It's as in-depth as you can probably get, but non-musicians won't get anything out of it, whatever the blurb claims.
Pedro Jiménez, English-Bisaya Grammar in Twenty-Eight Lessons
1904 / Ebook / 140 pages / Spain
***
An archaic guide written by a non-native speaker of either language to help the new wave of American priests communicate with their re-colonised flocks after the handover, I can't say I approached this in good faith to learn my wife's language, clearly hoping instead for some offensive white supremacist condescension with shades of Father Ted. To Padre Pedro's credit, it's hardly quotable at all and mainly just useful. Even a century later, since this regional dialect doesn't get a lot of coverage. If you're not a priest, I expect you can buy a differently specialist modern ebook from some sexpat's blog or other.
Roald Dahl, Twenty Nine Kisses from Roald Dahl
****
An omnibus of two original collections, this is about half of the short stories he wrote for adults. They're not all wickedly macabre with a comical twist, but those ones are generally the best.
Faves: 'Man from the South,' 'The Sound Machine,' 'William and Mary.'
Worsties: 'Mr. Feasey,' 'Mr. Hoddy,' 'Georgy Porgy.'
2015 / Ebook / 320 pages / USA
***
Don't ignore your kids, don't give a toddler a tablet and other earth-shaking revelations. The author advocates tireless babble to build those brains, so it's not surprising that she'd find it hard to adjust when talking to adults. Take out the autobiography, repetition and hyperbole and it would make a worthwhile article.
2016 / Ebook / 39 pages / Guyana
**
Our observational poet scrolls through his digital photos of rustic Guyanese life and describes what he sees in clichéd verse. It all adds up to quite a pleasant if amateur collage.
Various, The 33⅓ B-sides: New Essays by 33 1/3 Authors on Beloved and Underrated Albums
****
Most of the appeal of these books is the length – just long enough to get pretty in-depth about an album, on whichever aspects the writer thinks are important, but still thin enough to not get boring. This release does away with that, going for quantity over quality with 55 shorter write-ups of albums that don't require that level of analysis. A diverse pick-n-mix of obscurities and oddities chosen for you by other people, you won't enjoy them all, but there's bound to be plenty of pleasant surprises.
Faves: The Smashing Pumpkins' Adore, Stars of the Lid's And Their Refinement of the Decline, Nine Inch Nails' The Fragile.
Worsties: Christina Aguilera's Mi Reflejo, Daniel Lopatin's Chuck Person's Eccojams Vol. 1, Wesley Willis' Rock 'n' Roll Will Never Die.
