Where are my goddamn monkeys?

There are no monkeys in this picture

I was promised monkeys today, and as let-downs go, that's quite a big one.

I say 'monkeys,' but in Western Thailand they would technically have been macaques, like the monkeys I hung out with in Kaohsiung. But if we're going to start making racial distinctions between primates, next thing you know we won't be able to call all people from the Far East 'Chinese' any more. It is political correctness gone mad.

Never mind, I still had a nice trip up the beach and through the monkeyless coconut groves to Ban Krut Temple, once again hypocritically glad to have got away from the tourists for a while. If you want to join in with the primate spotting adventure yourself, why not play Hunt the Chimp? It's 0.2 seconds of fun! I say 'fun'…

Lodger

I don't big up my hostels often (usually because it's tough to big up a bed bug infested mattress on the floor), but I've totally enjoyed my time in this weird little village resort in Ban Krut (or Ban Kruit, Bankrut, Bangkrut, Ban Krud - anything goes with Anglicised Thai).

I tend to book my accommodation in short, sharp spasms of panic a couple of days before arriving, without really checking out what I'm letting myself in for, so I had no idea I'd be staying in my own private wooden lodge.

WOODEN!