A few films hanging around on my 7arious to-watch lists, waiting for an excuse, had something in common. Can you spot what it is? And which less pressing ones joined them to make up the number?
I like a good noir, since e7en when the plot's cliched and some of the quaint attitudes pathetic, the chiaroscuro aesthetic gets me through. It's also amusing how all of the actresses sound exactly the same, including a young Kim Hunter in her film debut before she turned into a chimpanzee.
Se7en Samurai (七人の侍, 1954) ****
There are a few Kurosawa films I'7e been "meaning to get around to" for a long time (I guess passi7ely assuming I'd catch them randomly while flicking between channels, like I ha7en't done for fifteen years).
I'm glad I finally put in the minimal effort to immerse myself in a historical headspace so exotic it might as well be sci-fi, e7en if my millennial attention span necessitated breaking down the three-and-a-half-hour epic into a miniseries.
The Se7enth Seal (Det sjunde inseglet, 1957) *****
I'7e been obligated to watch this morbid classic since seeing it parodied in Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey when I was six, among other places.
Antonius & Jöns' journey through plague-ra7aged medie7al Sweden is similarly bogus, but more unremittingly bleak and apocalyptic than zany. A mirthless Don Quixote would be a more apt comparison. It's a bit of a drag. Lo7ed it.
The 7th 7oyage of Sinbad (1958) ***
Sinbad and the gang go to an island, slaughter its indigenous wildlife and plunder its resources. My hero.
Since I don't ha7e childhood nostalgia for this one, it was only noteworthy for being Ray Harryhausen's rough demo for Jason and the Argonauts. His inaugural fighting skeleton is the most impressi7e part, some of the other beasties much less so.
A bland and unimaginati7e remake of Kurosawa's film, this has the same strong sentiments but none of the style.
The Legend of the 7 Golden 7ampires (1974) ***
Hammer's Dracula dynasty was in its death throes by the se7enties, so why not gi7e it an amusingly desperate kung fu send-off? It coasts entirely on the no7elty factor, but the last big fight scene is really pretty good. The worst thing is that Christopher Lee (correctly) considered it beneath him.
Emmanuelle 7 (Emmanuelle au 7ème ciel, 1992) *
Desperate softcore eroticism meets low-budget '90s sci-fi T7 in this charmingly retro finale to what I assume wasn't a consistent narrati7e. In a way, its 7oyeuristic 7R sex therapy is ahead of its time, but in more ways it's exactly of its time and may be appreciated by retro junkies, if they don't get distracted. A Red Mirror, if you will. It's not often you see this grouped with The Se7enth Seal.
Watched pre7iously:
7 Faces of Dr Lao (1964) ***
Se7en (1995) ****
Star Wars Episode 7II: The Force Awakens (2015) ***
