More worthless insights from an outdated rewatch. I finally got around to watching Angel some time after writing all this, and ended up enjoying it more than my premature berating here predicts. You'd think I would have learned not to pre-judge after writing off Buffy as conventional high school crap for a few years. It was only that sometimes.
Key:
Mythology episode
Monster-of-the-week episode
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) **
I figured this would be one of those films I'd always know about as trivia but never get around to watching. I can't say my life's any richer for having sought it out, but it wasn't as bad as I'd assumed it would be.
Kristy Swanson is a decent enough Buffy, particularly in the acrobatic department, though it's been long enough since I've seen the show that it was easy to detach the character. She starts out tediously shallow, but she get over it in time along her Hero's Journey thanks to the intervention of Donald Sutherland's proto-Giles / Van Helsing character, who lays out the lore with the aid of some Hammer-esque period flashbacks. Things work a bit differently to the TV series, deal with it.
The worst of these differences is the campy comedy tone, which robs the vampires of any potential fear factor as they generally goof around and expire anticlimactically. There's also an awful romance plot that feels tacked on out of stereotypical necessity and diminishes the Girl Power a little.
There was apparently a revisionist comic adaptation released a few years ago that combined elements of this film with Joss Whedon's unadulterated script for a quasi-authentic origin story, but really you don't have to trouble yourself that the TV Buffy looks different, has a different background and doesn't have the magic power of womb cramp vamp radar like her cinematic counterpart. It's just a movie, alright? Of course, after I'm through with seven seasons on my re-watch I may not feel as passive about the prospect of a Whedonless reboot film. It could conceivably be much worse than this.
"I'm the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping" - Buffy
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Unaired Pilot ***
I watched this before the series, but waited until I'd seen the first proper episodes to note down my thoughts. There are some identical scenes remade for the first episode, assuming you're more familiar with that, but the story's not really the same. It's still Buffy's first day at school and the same conversations happen, but there's no campy Master, no tedious Angel and no sense of a grander plot as Buffy just takes on a few vampires in the school, but it's still a lot of fun.
I guess the thing that's mostly different is the balance of horror and comedy is shifted more towards the latter. There are a lot of funny lines, but it does threaten to push Xander all the way to Chandler if this had continued.
Oh no, hang on, the thing that's mostly different is obviously that Willow isn't Willow, there's some other, less charming girl who goes by that name. And the Principal who isn't played by Armin Shimerman isn't even the same guy who isn't Armin Shimerman, but Stephen Tobolowsky instead. I like him better, but that's really the only thing I can say that about.
"We very seldom, we almost never have dead kids stuffed in the locker, I have a very strict policy about that" - Principal Flutie
Welcome to the Hellmouth (1x01) ****
I stayed away from this series the first time around, put off entirely by the high school aspect. I probably expected it to be like I expect Twilight to be today, which might mean I should get over that prejudice and give that franchise a try too? Think I'm going to trust the instincts with that one.
Even when I finally 'got' Buffy by actually watching it, I came in at season four and somehow developed a more specific prejudice that it was the first season alone that I didn't really care for. That wasn't helped by the fact that the only season one episodes I recall watching on repeats were the one with Xander and the preying mantis woman and some terrible one about hyenas, but I was pleased that this opening two-parter is really pretty good.
That damn great opening theme really sets the tone that was missing in the daft film and so-so pilot, and I generally find all the characters less annoying this time around. Giles and Willow are still unquestionably the best, let's not bother debating this, but I love how Buffy starts off with the attitude of really not wanting to get involved in all that business again. I can even appreciate the necessity of Cordelia channeling the shallow airhead archetype now they've drained those qualities out of Buffy.
Since one of this show's major goals is to invert the horror film cliche of the damsel in distress I was a bit disappointed when Willow became one, but fortunately Xander and Jessie are in trouble too. Of course, there's no real danger there, since we know those three main characters are always going to come out unscathed, right?
"When I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or witty, or at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away" - Willow Rosenberg
The Harvest (1x02) ***
That cliffhanger was resolved promptly. I liked this second part a little less than the first, which is customary for me. Mainly because I found the Master, with his arcane grandstanding and Hammer Horror organ theme, a little hard to take seriously as a threat. Still, there is quite a surprising body count as the Bronze is painted red - the first major public display that things are not quite normal in Sunnydale, though it'll take the locals a while to realise what's right in front of their eyes (or rather, underneath the school).
I like Giles filling us in on the show's own take on unholy mythology. I liked the dated references to the 'net and programming. I like Buffy's Mom. I like the suggestions of extreme gore taking place off-screen, so we can imagine eye-gouging and cymbal beheading for ourselves.
I still don't like Angel though. Standing around looking handsome, hinting at more interesting bygone days and being useless, he's the Chakotay of the show.
"A Slayer hunts vampires. Buffy is a Slayer. Don't tell anyone. Well, I think that's all the vampire information you need" - Rupert Giles
Witch (1x03) ***
Episodic territory now, leaving vampires on the back-burner while we browse Tobin's Spirit Guide and the Bumper Book of Beasties to deal with a different paranormal nasty every week and make it a contrived metaphor for teenage tribulations. This episode featuring an overbearing mother literally living through her child as they switch bodies is particularly on the nose, and this feels like it was conceived to be as archetypal as possible.
There's plenty of high school stuff too, with cheerleading, driver's ed and dissections, which might be to lure in casual viewers who wouldn't otherwise watch a show in which a teenage girl spontaneously combusts, a middle-aged man reads incantations from a spell book and a woman gets trapped inside a statue. It's pretty goofy, but it's still genuinely funny and a little bit nasty, so they've charmed me for the long haul.
I especially like how Mr. Giles is the Kryten, automatically knowing everything about things he hasn't seen before and providing the awkward exposition. Why did Angel get a spin-off but not Rupert?
"I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away" - Xander Harris
Teacher's Pet (1x04) ***
I remembered this being one of the dafter installments of the series, so I was surprised that it wasn't too bad at all. Extremely goofy and stretching credibility, sure, but this typically clunky 'metaphor' for teenage sexual anxiety is still very entertaining, and it's a good early episode for Xander.
Even with some of the outright comedy episodes they'd produce later in the series, this has got to be one of the most tongue-in-cheek, complete with a triumphant Bill & Ted style guitar solo, a nonchalant rotating head and a tub of crickets handily labelled 'FOOD' to really hammer a joke home.
There's even a wholesome moral as Buffy saves the day by doing her homework. Less worthwhile is a sub-plot involving a vampire with a claw that exists just to fill time and to give Angel a reason to turn up. I'm really not warming to him.
"We all need help with our feelings, otherwise we bottle them up and before you know it, powerful laxatives are involved" - Principal Flutie
Never Kill a Boy on the First Date (1x05) **
Shifting back into the season arc, we're introduced (eventually) to the Master's Anointed One, in scenes that would be more entertaining if they'd been made deliberately rather than reluctantly corny. This was my least favourite episode so far, I'm glad it's a short season so they can move on to less tiresome arch villains.
Meanwhile, we see Buffy trying to be a normal girl again as she gets a crush on a normal guy, but it inevitably doesn't end well. She says she's learned the lesson not to do that sort of thing again. Let's see how well that goes.
"When I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time" - Rupert Giles
The Pack (1x06) **
Like the mantis woman episode before it, this was one I remember being a lot worse than it actually is. Or maybe I've just watched so much bad TV that my standards have lowered in the past 15 years.
Any episode where your characters are possessed by animals and required to put on their best hyena cackle are a tough sell to the audience, but as usual there's an overwrought metaphor about teenage conformity and pack mentality that keeps it from being completely superfluous. Still, I preferred Xander when he was anxiously horny in the She Mantis lair rather than aggressively horny here.
On the positive side, the humdrum Principal Flutie is topped off, which means there's a better one incoming and reminds us again (if we'd forgotten about Jessie) that the threats to this high school are real, even if the main cast is going to be reliably invincible for the most part. The library's incongruous animal cage also makes its first appearance, which is going to be handy for werewolves later.
"Testosterone is a great equaliser, it turns all men into morons" - Rupert Giles
Angel (1x07) *****
This is easily the best episode so far, nailing that often elusive balance between teen angst drama and supernatural shenanigans that leaves many other episodes looking a little laughable.
I thought I was going to hate Angel after his tediously brooding introduction, but by lifting the veil and giving us a more complete backstory than was strictly necessary, they've turned me around this early and made the reluctant vampire one of the more interesting characters, at least superficially. It's a great episode for Buffy too, both for messing with her head and her heart and for giving her the crossbow for the first time.
The scenes with the Master let it down for me again, as nothing about that long set-up feels anywhere near as intimidating as the domestic horror of Joyce Summers unknowingly inviting a vampire into her home. Maybe it's his red nose and poorly fitting teeth that detract credibility from his infernal pronouncements, or maybe it's just that rubbish kid, but the season's arc isn't as compelling as it wants to be.
"I can walk like a man, but I'm not one" - Angel
I, Robot... You, Jane (1x08) **
I'm finding it hard to hate even the dumbest episodes of this charming series, and this extremely 90s tale of a demon unleashed onto the internet is as dumb as they come.
They could have gone much further in exploring the dangers of high school girls getting involved in online relationships than they did. Alright, so Moloch the Corrupter is arguably more dangerous in the grand scheme of things than a paedophile, but it feels like a missed opportunity for some edge, especially considering they don't shy away from (apparent) suicide and visible self-harm.
There are a few things I liked about it. Jenny Calendar is introduced as a great match and foil for Giles, whose own antiquated technophobia proves justified. Stuffy librarian 1, Techo-Pagan 0. There's also a very nice, downbeat coda where the characters realise none of them will have the chance to enjoy a healthy, normal relationship, something the rest of the series won't go on to disprove.
There were more things I didn't like. Such as the Power Rangers climax and Willow's first focal episode being about boys.
"To read makes our speaking English good" - Xander Harris
The Puppet Show (1x09) ***
After Jenny Calendar's appearance last time, the show feels ready for season two now with the arrival of Armin Shimerman as the ruthless Principal Snyder. After the ineffectual former head, it shakes things up nicely to get a principal who doesn't tolerate their Scooby nonsense and makes a point of tracking these weird students' activities. When this many students and teachers are kicking the bucket every week, you can't blame him for taking note of anything suspicious.
The actual plot is mad season one territory as usual, with a living ventriloquist dummy. It's less insane than when Tales from the Crypt did it, but to their credit, there is a degree of ambiguity that kept me wondering if they were going to subvert our expectations and make it just a normal doll after all. They didn't, so we get to enjoy ridiculous scenes of Buffy interacting with a low-rent Muppet, but there's still a twist in there.
Like I said before, even episodes that should by all rights be embarrassments have a way of redeeming themselves in this show.
"There are things I will not tolerate. Students loitering on campus after school. Horrible murders with hearts being removed. And also smoking" - Principal Snyder
Nightmares (1x10) ***
This could have been a delightfully fun or traumatisingly dark episode, but it sticks to a conservative middle ground with only occasional spikes in either direction.
We get to explore all the main characters' psyches by being privy to their imaginative nightmares, but there are few earth-shattering revelations in there. More entertaining is Xander confronting the stabby clown, establishing his ability to be mildly heroic for the first time. We also see the first of several Buffy graves we'll get in the series, and we meet Buffy's Dad who I didn't know even existed.
From what I hazily recall, the season four finale is more or less the perfected remake of this one. With added cheese.
"We are defined by the things we fear" - The Master
Out of Mind, Out of Sight (1x11) ***
The end of term is approaching, which means it's time for a two-part finale? Sadly not, they just sneak in some suggestions of big things on the horizon for the benefit of next time's 'Previously on...' segment. This is just about an invisible girl killing people.
Season one has its share of unsubtle allegories, and this one proudly stands on the top of the pile, as we learn that a girl who felt invisible literally became so, because the Hellmouth can excuse anything. The invisibility effects don't exactly push the envelope, being a combination of wires and people holding things off-screen, but I did enjoy how long it took for the gang to find out precisely which of Sunnydale High's numerous dead or missing kids it could be. How has this school not been shut down?
This one is most notable for trying to make us like Cordelia, which involves pushing her to even more irritating extremes and then having her explain the difficulties of being pretty and popular. It didn't really work for me. It's also established that Angel has no reflection and doesn't breathe, which I guess means I'm in for a tedious nit-picking adventure from now on to catch him out.
"We can talk to her, perhaps reason with her... possibly grab her" - Rupert Giles
Prophecy Girl (1x12) ****
Joss Whedon's back on writing duty for the finale, and it shows in an abundance of great character moments. Buffy learns of her prophesied certain death and rejects her Slayer role, Willow finally caves in to the trauma of seeing her classmates brutally murdered and Xander gets sad when Buffy doesn't go to the dance with him so listens to some country music. Alright, it's not all gold.
As their world starts to collapse, it's nice to see Cordelia and Jenny join the gang to fill out the numbers (it helps that they have cars), and after half a season of apocalyptic portents we finally get to see the action go down. We even see the literal Hellmouth(s), which I did not expect.
It's over a bit quickly, and it would have been to the season's benefit if they'd stretched the climax out to two episodes and lost the invisible girl stuff, but it's still one of the better ones of the year. I'm mainly pleased that we can move beyond the Master now.
"I may be dead, but I'm still pretty" - Buffy Summers
When She Was Bad (2x01) ****
Goddammit, I was afraid that kid was going to come back. This unnecessary epilogue to season one threatening the Master's resurrection isn't the most confident start to the new year, but fortunately I have spoiler-filled memories here and there encouraging me that things get much better when Spike and Drusilla show up. Please don't dawdle.
So while the vampire antics of this episode are nothing special, Buffy's post-traumatic stress is a lot more interesting. Dying will screw you up like that. And Joss Whedon is still a master of well-written twists and shocks, even if these sometimes have to be excused as dreams.
One weird thing that jarred in this episode was how much focus was given to the random 90s band playing at the Bronze, which the characters discuss several times before they get to provide an extended soundtrack to Buffy's manipulative grinding. Maybe it's like The Young Ones, and they could wrangle a higher budget if they convinced the network that this was a variety show rather than weird cult nonsense?
- "There are some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense."
- "Actually, that would be one of the five" - Snyder and Giles
Some Assembly Required (2x02) ***
With David Boreanaz in the opening credits now, does that mean we're in for Buffy/Angel angst in every episode now? This is an especially shippy episode in general, with various jealousies, missed opportunities and Giles and Jenny starting something sweet and presumably doomed.
Of course, being Buffy, these romantic threads are set against the darker background of a cliched horror creature, which this time is a particularly picky Frankenstein's monster selecting the ideal attributes for its DIY bride-to-be. I guess they'll still be working through the horror staples for a while yet, but this feels a bit more artistic than season one at least.
"Even the school librarian sees more action than me" - Xander Harris
School Hard (2x03) *****
David Greenwalt is one of those key writers who it's sadly easy to overlook when you're storming through a series, but like Morgan and Wong on The X-Files and Robert Hewitt Wolfe on Deep Space Nine, it wouldn't be the same without him. So there's the compulsory non-Whedon writer salute before I get too deep into the series and forget to keep noticing.
This episode is brilliant. Spike shows up earlier than I expected, with the disturbingly batty Drusilla in tow, and quickly shows he means business by breaking tedious prophetic deadlines and burning the last threads dangling over from season one to establish himself as a force to be reckoned with. And then he fails to kill Buffy, because the show still has lots of seasons to go.
James Marsters' English accent isn't exactly there yet, which was jarring and amusing in his early scenes, but then I got used to it. Juliet Landau's will never get better.
The school siege is exciting and almost exposes Buffy's secret to Joyce, while revealing to the audience that Snyder and other Sunnydale authorities are fully aware of the strange things afoot in their town and are doing their best to cover them up. Spike's history with Angel offers up its own potential spin-off in its own right, and there's a very welcome dig at Anne Rice. There we go, that didn't take too long: this show is bloody there.
"Do you like daisies? I plant them, but they always die. Everything I put in the ground withers and dies" - Drusilla
Inca Mummy Girl (2x04) **
This is quite the throwback episode, and having your characters comment on its cheesy-sounding premise doesn't excuse the fact that you actually wrote it.
So while the whole thing with the resurrected, soul-sucking Inca princess is just there to check off 1/22th of the season's plot requirements, as usual there are character moments that save it from being completely worthless. Xander is becoming much more self-assured around girls, which is a nice, realistic transition from the terrified kid of 'Teacher's Pet,' the Xander/Willow angst is in full force if you're into that sort of thing, and Willow unknowingly gets an admirer as Seth Green debuts as Oz, complete with distracting facial hair.
Other than that, this is like the worst recesses of season one. And why does Giles think it's okay to ask a "South American" visitor (we don't get more geographically specific than that) if she can decipher ancient Incan runes because it's from "her region?" I mean, yeah, she can, but that's not the point.
"One day I'm going to live in a town where evil curses are just generally ruled out without even saying" - Buffy Summers
Reptile Boy (2x05) **
There's really not enough paranormal activity in this episode until we're almost at the end, and then all we get for out patience is an unconvincing snake demon man. It's not like I need every episode to be a campy demon-hunting adventure (see the equally disappointing previous episode), but we've covered this ground before of Buffy feeling pressured by her Slayer commitments and trying to have a 'normal' night with a normal boy. It has yet to make for a gripping installment.
The scathing treatment of the fraternity institution is fun though, especially with the overly sour ending, but it mainly makes me relieved that I didn't go to university in America.
"The reflection thing that you don't have... Angel, how do you shave?" - Willow Rosenberg
Halloween (2x06) ***
The Halloween episode was the most inevitable seasonal installment for the series to tackle, so it's not surprising that there are at least a few of them spread across seven seasons. Whether any of them are bona fide holiday classics remains to be seen - this first one, about enchanted costumes that cause the wearer to take on characteristics of their chosen character, isn't one of them.
This reminded me of the earlier episode about Nightmares (can't remember what it was called), as both see our heroes expressing hidden sides of themselves that don't go too deep beneath the surface. Buffy feels jealous of Angel's old colonial-era flames so puts on a pretty dress, Xander feels his machismo threatened so patrols with a toy gun, Willow turns into a ghost because she's dressed as a ghost... that one doesn't have much depth to it, but it's good to see her asserting herself when Buffy gets amnesia and becomes a terrified damsel (Willow inexplicably doesn't).
The most interesting thing about this one is the introduction of Ethan Rayne - seemingly 'Bad Giles' for all intents and purposes - who hints at the Ripper's dark history that we're going to find all about shortly. A shame that aspect of the episode is so short, tacked-on and anticlimactic, really.
"Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?" - Drusilla
Lie to Me (2x07) ****
It's another Joss Whedon episode, so pay attention everyone!
As expected, things are less throwaway and a bit more arc-progressing this time, as we learn about Drusilla's origin, and Angel's part in it, that makes that formerly pointlessly loopy character a lot more sympathetic.
We also get the best twisted human antagonist of the series so far, in the form of an old friend/flame of Buffy's who quickly reveals himself to be up to no good with a bunch of vampire wannabes. It's a far cry from the tedious frat boys of a few episodes ago as there's a tragic motivation behind it all, plus Ford's passion for corny dialogue and playing the bad guy makes him one of the more memorable of Buffy's failed 'normal' romances. She should stick with vampires.
I'm not clear on why Buffy gave Spike, Drusilla and the other vampires time to escape from a locked room rather than taking advantage of the situation and slaying them all. It is because we're only seven episodes deep into the season, that's the answer there.
"What will your mummy sing when they find your body?" - Drusilla
The Dark Age (2x08) ****
It didn't take long after the tease two episodes previously for us to learn a great deal more about "Ripper" Giles' Hellblazer-type past, and this is a stand-out performance for Anthony Head. It's enough to make you consider listening to his album again.
This is one of the most successful blends of supernatural evil and human nastiness the show's done so far, between the vile scheming of Ethan "Bad Giles" Rayne and the possession of Jenny Calendar by a do-it-yourself demon. Since I'm in the position of having seen most of the series before, but long enough ago for key details to have been forgotten or muddled, I was fairly tense throughout at the prospect of Miss Calendar being bumped off. So I have that to look forward to again the next time she gets in trouble.
The balance between horror and humour is also really well done, though Xander's still treading that fine line between unrealistic spontaneous wisecracker and annoying tit.
"This may sting a little, just at first. But don't worry, that'll go away once the searing pain kicks in" - Ethan Rayne
What's My Line, Part 1 (2x09) ****
It's a 90s genre show and we're roughly half-way through the year, so let's have a healthy dose of mytharc. And what a treat it is, with the so-obvious-it's-inspired twist of a second Slayer arriving on the scene following Buffy's temporary death (she got better).
Kendra does upset the mythology a little, though not as upsetting as that accent (this show does love its terrible fake accents), but as far as being a stoic and solitary foil to the outgoing and insecure Buffy, she works a treat. That's all in the next part though - here they just have a great kickboxing face-off as two superheroes are prone to do on their first encounter.
The rest of the story feels a bit like a recycled and polished mash-up of older ideas, with another dangerous book (Giles should really burn those things) and another elite undead trio out for Slayer blood. But these guys have Maggot-Face on their team, so they're more memorable than the last batch.
"Don't warn the tadpoles!" - Willow has frog fear
What's My Line, Part 2 (2x10) *****
The attention-seeking cliffhangers from last time are resolved with customary brevity as Buffy and Kendra stop fighting long enough to learn each other's identities and Angel doesn't burn to death, though he still gets to be the damsel in distress as he's tortured and chained up in the name of rejuvenating Drusilla.
Kendra doesn't hang around, but we obviously haven't seen the last of her. While she does lend a helping hand in the big showdown, these fight scenes are flexible enough that Buffy always receives aid in the nick of time - even Giles and Willow stake a couple of vamps, and Xander and Cordelia prove their value by stomping evil maggots.
On the softer side, this pair of episodes has pushed the Buffy/Angel romance far enough into sweet territory that there's blatantly something devastating on the horizon, Xander and Cordelia antagonistically hook up, Willow and Oz finally meet each other and are adorable, and Spike and Drusilla's kinky master and servant roles get switched around.
"My black goddess. My ripe, wicked plum" - Spike
Ted (2x11) **
We've just had a consistently good run of episodes that expanded the scope of the show, so for the sake of balance we have to endure a couple of lightweight throwaways with plots that would have been considered sub-standard even in the first season.
First up is this story supposedly dealing with step-parent anxieties and coping with your divorced mother dating, which only ends up justifying Buffy's suspicions when Joyce's suitor turns out to be a murderous robot. Most of the time, these horror/sci-fi cliches are at least excused by the proximity of the Hellmouth, but since robots aren't paranormal in that way, there's really no reason for this to happen in Buffy's household beyond her mother being Ted's type.
There's also a real cop-out resolution to the unbreakable assassin contract that was such a threat in the previous two episodes, as we hear Angel managed to get it called off after all. I wonder how long it took the writers to come up with that one.
"Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is" - Angel
Bad Eggs (2x12) **
More fun than 'Ted' but maybe even more ridiculous, this starts out as a tale of Buffy fighting a pair of goofy cowboy vampires, but then that's forgotten about completely until the very end.
And what initially seemed like a cute and symbolic background plot, in which Sunnydale's students are put in charge of eggs to teach them about parental responsibility, becomes less symbolic and the actual plot as these eggs hatch weird creatures that possess half of the school.
It's a send-up of body-snatching cliches that isn't funny enough to be a real parody but in no way feels like a genuine threat by this point in the series. There are only so many times I can cope with Joyce conveniently blacking out to prevent her learning her daughter's secret, but let's see how tight they're going to stretch that.
"I'd say something found him" - Xander Harris
Surprise (2x13) ****
Another two-parter so soon? You're spoiling us! And it looks like it's going to be a whopper.
There isn't much time for jubilation on Buffy's seventeenth birthday, when it's discovered that Spike and Drusilla aren't dead (well, they died centuries ago, but you know what I mean) and are hatching a plot to unveil the series' most ominous sounding villain yet. Sadly, the Judge fails to live up to the hype once his various limbs are assembled and he's floored with a kick and some falling boxes, but he'll be back.
More disturbing is Buffy's anxiety dream that portends Angel's death and seems to be coming true in drips and drabs. Apart from the bit with Willow speaking French to a monkey which is one of the best callbacks I've ever seen in anything. I also really liked how cool Oz was with the revelation that vampires exist. It does make a lot of sense, doesn't it?
If there's one embarrassing scene that keeps this from being the finest episode yet, it's the revelation of Jenny's backstory which involves two characters pointlessly reminding each other about things they already know with terrible exposition dialogue:
- "You thought you are Jenny Calendar now? You are still Janna of the Kalderash people! A gypsy."Come on, you can do better than that.
- "I know... uncle" - Uncle Enyos and Jenny
Innocence (2x14) *****
The show may never get better than this. I'm pretty sure this was the first episode I ever saw too, having previously assumed the show to be high school pap with trivial supernatural gimmicks, and it was enough to turn me around. Good thing I didn't tune in for 'Bad Eggs' or something.
This episode is sadistically cruel to Buffy right until the end when she gets a verbal hug from Giles. It was obvious that her romance with Angel was too good to last, but rather than have him set sail for unknown lands in the previous episode, their separation here is much, much worse. This series has always had a penchant for putting a supernatural twist on everyday teenage anxieties, and I like to think there are at least a few people out there who held onto their virginity for just a while longer out of fear that their partner would lose their soul and become a literal monster.
Turning Angel into the main villain (you can tell he's bad because he smokes now) is such a perfect twist, I can forgive the (supposedly apocalyptic) Judge being dispensed with comical ease, especially as it gives us the iconic image of Buffy with a rocket launcher. There's no such easy resolution for Angel, who isn't magically changed back before the end credits, and there's a real feeling that none of these characters will be the same after this.
I seriously hope we're not back to humdrum monster movie spoofs next time, that would really kill the momentum. Let's imagine the threat of cancellation's looming and squeeze this golden age for all it's worth.
"She made me feel like a human being. That's not the kind of thing you just forgive" - Angel
Phases (2x15) ***
Stuck for ways to make Oz artificially interesting beyond the guitar, here he becomes a werewolf, taking the astounding revelation in his stride as he's prone to. This character development saves the episode from being just another horror cliche of the week, though it still has that in spades.
It's also overflowing with more of the exaggerated allegorical morals this show does so well and so awkwardly (sometimes at the same time), juxtaposing alpha male aggression against men literally turning into uncontrollable wild animals. It's better than 'The Pack,' at least.
And while Angel's still skulking in the shadows and murdering the odd schoolgirl, things have disappointingly returned to business as usual between pivotal plot episodes. This was still the 90s, we should be grateful they were even allowed to do so many two-parters.
"I'm sorry I almost ate you" - Daniel "Oz" Osbourne
Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (2x16) **
We're through with Buffy and Angel, and Willow and Oz got their moment in the spotlight last time, so it's time to dedicate an entire episode to Xander and Cordelia, the show's least inspiring couple.
Amy reappears as a background character for the first time since episode three, and coincidentally her magickal skills play a part in the plot as Xander requests a love spell to enchant Cordelia. Unfortunately it goes wrong somehow and every female who crosses his path becomes hopelessly, murderously obsessed with him.
This series fuses comedy, action and horror into a neat blend at the best of times, but this isn't the best of times. One moment it's all-out farce, the next axes are flying and Angel's performing unlicensed heart surgery. The point of no return is when Buffy gets turned into a rat, and they actually make Anthony Head say the line "We have to catch the Buffy rat."
Hopefully another two-parter will be along soon to save us from the dreaded filler.
"It's time for me to act like a man. And hide" - Xander Harris
Passion (2x17) *****
With the previous Valentine's themed episode being a letdown, they have another crack at the dark obsession angle and strike gold.
There were several points where an episode like this would normally have veered down the safe path to arrive at a happy ending, or at least one that maintained the status quo, but here they take the vicious alternative route every time. It's the most relentlessly cruel episode yet, finally treating the Angel threat with the seriousness it deserves and demonstrating what a sadistic bastard he is. Those stories of his horrific past are lot more plausible after today.
"Passion rules us all and we obey. What other choice do we have?" - Angel
Killed by Death (2x18) **
Do these disposable episodes between the less pivotal installments have to be so bad? It's entirely possible that I've been spoiled by the highs of season two and these less noteworthy episodes are no less average than some of the earlier filler I let pass, but it's hard not to feel let down when one week Angel starts to pick off the secondary cast and the next we're back to fighting one-off demons in unconvincing Halloween masks.
There are elements to like about this one, such as Buffy having to deal with being incapacitated by the flu and some fun with an invisible enemy, but despite the hospital setting it still feels repetitive and formulaic, the flashbacks to Buffy's traumatic past will only resonante within this one isolated story, and there are several instances of gratuitous product placement. Maybe they're raising funds for a blowout finale? Hopefully there won't be many more bottom drawer cast-offs before we get there.
"I was using the phrase 'watch her back' as a euphemism for 'looking at her butt'" - Cordelia Chase
I Only Have Eyes for You (2x19) ***
There's time for another couple of spares before the finale, and these aren't so bad. The show's compulsory poltergeist story packs plenty of paranormal activity, from a locker monster (not Loch Ness Monster, Giles) to outbreaks of snakes and bees, and it's hinged around a looping tragedy from back in the Back to the Future era.
Beyond these standard hi-jinks, there are a few subtle developments, most notably Willow getting interested in witchcraft now she has access to Jenny's bookmarks, a new, ominous-sounding background threat in the form of Sunnydale's unseen mayor and growing tension between Spike and Angel that threatens to tear their unholy trinity apart.
They do try to maintain the Angel threat even in these stand-alone episodes, but having him emasculated by taking on the female role as Buffy's bitch doesn't really help things. Then he just runs away.
"I'm no stranger to conspiracy, I saw JFK" - Principal Snyder
Go Fish (2x20) ***
Another ridiculous one about students turning into monsters, but I found it more fun than most of the ridiculous ones this season. It's another of their B-movie homages, right down to the inexplicable plotting (why does the coach want any of this to happen?) and the show's reliable sense of humour means it doesn't stoop to taking it seriously. One punchline even revolves about mutant fish beast gang rape.
What some might consider lazy and unrealistic writing, I preferred to interpret as the gang having been through so much recently that they manage to be largely unfazed by the mental things taking place around them. When I was a wary newcomer to the series, the unlikely wisecracking was one of the things that turned me off, so it's a good job I didn't see this one until later.
On the plus side, the scenes of evicerated human flesh bags and sea monsters bursting out of bodies are delightfully sick.
"Is steroid abuse usually linked with 'hey, I'm a fish?'" - Xander Harris
Becoming, Part 1 (2x21) ****
What's likely to be the best season of the show (it's surprisingly easy to ignore all those downers when the good stuff's this good) comes to a predictably satisfying close, tying up more threads from across the year than you'd probably expect when even Kendra returns.
Despite yet another threat of the end of the universe looming, there are rays of hope from the onset as Jenny's floppy disk is found that contains the key to restoring Angel's soul, rendering that earlier, traumatic episode a little less hopelessly tragic in hindsight. Giles even has the relevant bauble that goes with the spell, so we know for a fact that Angel will be back to his old self before the end of part two - it's how they deal with that inevitability that makes this one of the stand-out stories.
This first part's notable for filling us in with more of Angel's backstory, finally showing rather than telling courtesy of some attractive period sets and finally letting David Boreanaz join in with the unconvincing accents. The flashbacks to pre-season-one Buffy are also interesting as an alternative and definitive take on similar events from the 1992 film.
The tertiary threat of the gang's impending finals feels somewhat less pressing in the grand scheme of things, or is that just me?
"We're about to make history... end" - Angel
Becoming, Part 2 (2x22) *****
They've put Buffy through the wringer before, but until her next scheduled death and resurrection, this is going to be hard to beat. She's on the run for murder, booted out of school, her mother learns her secret identity and she just sent her boyfriend to the literal Hell. She needs some time.
It isn't just Buffy and Angel who suffer under Joss Whedon's sadistic pen. Once again the smart characters' intelligence is used against them as Willow lies comatose and Giles is tortured for his knowledge. Cordelia and Xander come off the least worse for wear, which may be some sort of message, and Spike reveals his duplicitous side as he temporarily partners with the goodies out of convenience. I had no idea that seed was planted so early.
Joss Whedon is a master of tension, which is especially impressive when you've already seen most of the subsequent five years and know who definitely isn't going to die but still find your heart racing. I've always known this was one of the finest episodes, but it was only on watching it 'again' that I realised I'd never actually seen it outside of prominent clips. It's going to be a tough finale to top, and I have enough hazy memories of the next few at least that would sadly seem to bear that out. I really hope I get proved wrong.
"Mom... I'm a vampire slayer" - Buffy Summers
Anne (3x01) ***
In the spirit of the previous season, the new year takes a while to get going as Buffy works through her PTSD before we can get down to some new arcs and characters. This time it's spread over two episodes, and disappointingly this opener from Joss Whedon is the lesser of the two.
It's a nice idea to show Buffy getting by in the wider world, and even more to see how the friends and family she abandoned in a monster-infested town are getting on without her, but since this is still the 90s there needs to be a random episodic plot to usurp the character development. This one features a low budget Hell 'dimension'/factory crewed by low-rent Cenobites, and there's a typically heavy-handed message about society's abandoned people.
In more superficial news, the theme tune has been re-recorded with a bit more polish and the show has its familiar, merchandise-friendly logo now. I miss the rugged old intro already. The inclusion of David Boreanaz in the opening credits may be considered a tactless spoiler, even if Angel's restricted to dream duties for the time being.
"You've got guts. I think I'd like to slice you open and play with them" - 'Ken'
Dead Man's Party (3x02) ***
You can tell they're moving gradually into more serialised territory as they're now doing 'Previously on Buffy' segments.
The gang is brought back together, and we get a generous helping of resentment and grievances from various parties affected by Buffy's little getaway. The reconciliation is sped along by a horde of marauding zombies summoned by Joyce's mask, which results in at least several on-screen deaths that somehow won't be an issue at all.
I liked the inclusion of a zombie cat especially, and there's nice attention to detail with the zombie make-up representing corpses in various stages of decomposition. But really, it's all a bit overly convenient in its objective to clear out the old business and start getting down to the new.
"You can't just bury stuff, Buffy. It'll come right back up to get you" - Xander Harris
Faith, Hope & Trick (3x03) ****
The season two formula is still going strong, as we're introduced to the year's main characters in the third episode. Hopefully we'll be spared quite as many dumb episodes about robot stepfathers and bad eggs this time around. Let's see.
It didn't take long for the latest Slayer to show up following Kendra's death, though I'm still a bit confused about how the 'potentials' system works. Why does everyone except Buffy seem to know about their destiny in advance? Maybe I'll have to wait until the final season for that one.
Faith is a mirror to Buffy in an entirely opposite way to how Kendra was, and her presence shakes up the dynamic well. A little conveniently well, but this show is rarely about subtlety. That also means we get even more blatant Slayer/lesbian allusions as Joyce continues in her quest to understand her daughter's lifestyle. Eventually the show will gain the confidence to deal with these themes directly without the paranormal subtext.
We also get another charismatic bad guy in the form of Mr. Trick. He's no Spike, but I'm looking forward to seeing more of him in however many episodes he's permitted to live.
Then just when Buffy finally moves on from Angel, that happens.
"There are two things I don't believe in: coincidence and leprechauns" - Buffy Summers
Beauty and the Beasts (3x04) ****
The werewolf episodes aren't typically the strongest, and this one's even more unfairly burdened with a Jekyll and Hyde subplot that literally involves a glowing magic potion. But it overcomes all that by dealing with the all-men-are-animals theme better than previous episodes, and we can share the characters' pain as they each worry their unintentionally murderous boyfriend is responsible for the killings until it's finally revealed.
Things were starting to get back to normal for Buffy, what with being accepted back into school and even getting a nice, (seemingly) normal boyfriend, so it obviously wasn't going to last for long. I had a false memory of Angel spending a large portion of season three chained up, but it seems it's only this episode. Maybe I was dealing with some issues at the time.
Q: Why does feral, forest-dwelling Angel wear trousers and shoes?
"Bloody priceless" - Giles receives a dart in the arse
Homecoming (3x05) **
Things pick up towards the end in this one, where Buffy and Cordelia get to put their rivalries behind them as they survive a manhunt in the woods, but up to that point it's the worst kind of shippy, lightweight fluff, putting the more compelling arcs on hold because Buffy wants to feel like a princess for a day. I get that she's been through a lot, but I'm glad the high school years are almost behind us now so her normal life yearnings can get a little less annoyingly trivial.
We're finally introduced to the Mayor, who doesn't seem particularly threatening at the moment, especially with his hygiene quirk. Mr. Trick continues to demonstrate his entertainment value by going to more effort than was necessary in organising 'SlayerFest '98,' even designing a logo and theme song for his promotional video. I hope they don't dust this one too quickly.
"Why is it every time I go somewhere with you it always ends in violence and terror?" - Cordelia Chase
Band Candy (3x06) ***
It's another fairly dumb paranormal food episode, but this one's a lot of fun - especially for treating us to Teenage Rebel Giles and finally getting him together with Joyce, even if this will result in eternal awkwardness when they're restored to their responsible selves.
This works a lot better as light relief from demonic stuff than the previous relationship-heavy episode, though as this is Buffy, even the light relief is tempered by the threat of infant sacrifice. Sunnydale's Mayor continues to develop into a menacing villain at a glacial pace, so they're going to have to ramp that up before season's end if they hope to come close to Evil Angel and the gang last year.
Speaking of unintimidating baddies, Snyder loses his final ounce of dignity and Ethan "Bad Giles" Rayne is brought back for a pointless reprise just for the sake of a familiar character. But I can forgive all of that, because we get Teenage Rebel Giles.
"Whoa, Summers, you drive like a spaz!" - Principal Snyder
Revelations (3x07) ****
Buffy's latest secret gets out of the bag as the gang learns about Angel's return and naturally not everyone is best pleased about it, though the ones setting off on a vengeful slaying mission may not be the ones you expected.
We also get the inevitable Buffy/Faith showdown which we've been itching for since she first showed up, and even though they manage to reconcile some way by the end, their days of tandem slaying are clearly behind them.
Because this amount of arc development needs to be balanced by a disposable villain-of-the-week plot, meet the wicked ex-Watcher in pursuit of a powerful glove. Who am I kidding? I have a soft spot for their kitsch ancient evil artefact stories.
"Interesting lady. Can we kill her?" - Buffy Summers
Lovers Walk (3x08) ***
There's a lot packed into this episode, which is a bit distracting but does at least conclude some of my least favourite dangling plot threads from the season - namely Willow and Xander's unwise smooching sessions and Buffy and Angel's even less wise, potentially apocalyptic rekindling.
Since Angel premiered the following season and was presumably well into development by this stage, it wouldn't be going out on a limb to assume the distancing of Angel and Cordelia from the other characters was an intentional move in that direction. The remaining characters' fates are largely determined by their SAT results, with Buffy finding out she's smart enough to join Willow at college after all and Xander resigning himself to a life of fast food service.
In other news, Spike returns for what I think is his only episode this season, and it isn't the noble return I'd hoped for. Mopey and Drusilla-less, he does regain his mojo and love of punk rock by the end, but those other vampires are right: he has gone soft.
"She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask?" - Spike
The Wish (3x09) ***
Anyone who suspected that the spayed vengeance demon Anya would blossom out of this flimsy alternate reality episode to become a full-fledged opening credits cast member next season isn't watching the same episode I did. It's not that I have anything against the character (yet), it just seems so arbitrary. I assume they just catalogued the surviving villains at the end of the year and chose the one that would look the least weird paired up with Xander.
The set-up for this episode being Cordelia's cranky wish has got to be up there with the weakest justifications of all time, but it offers us a glimpse of Sunnydale (and/or The World, it's a bit unclear) if Buffy hadn't moved there when she did. There are some back references for casual viewers to enjoy, most notably the return of the Master, but there are presumably also those inevitable paradoxes that more dedicated fans would love to debate.
However, by far the most interesting and titillating addition to this Bizarro universe is Willow and Xander as vampires, which not only must have been a hoot for the actors, but also hammers home the extent of corruption that occurs during the transformation. Cordelia's death informs us that this is no mere dream, but as they continue to top off the main characters one by one with glorious dusty deaths, you know there's a speedy resolution coming that's almost as cheap as the wish gimmick itself.
"She was like a good fairy. A scary, veiny good fairy" - Cordelia Chase
Amends (3x10) ****
A Christmas episode, or rather the episode they calculated would be broadcast closest to the pivotal day and which Joss Whedon subsequently revised with seasonal additions.
This is a key episode for Angel, but I'm back to finding him less interesting and overly mopey, so I guess the incoming spin-off isn't on the cards for a first watch. His encounter with Giles is the highlight, partly for reaffirming why Ripper is my favourite character as after the compulsory insults he does his best to help the girlfriend-murdering monster (he got better), and it's nice to see Jenny back in an extended postmortem reprise, even if it's only as an image taken on by the First Evil. Now there's a name they're going to sit on for another five years.
This one's also notable for featuring Willow and Oz's mature reprisal of their relationship, particularly Willow pulling out all the stops for what the internet informs her is a romantic night in, reaffirming why she's my favourite character after Giles.
"Beyond sin, beyond death, I am the thing the darkness fears" - The First Evil
Gingerbread (3x11) ***
Now at its half-way point, this has easily been the most consistent season so far. It hasn't had the embarrassing low points of season two, but the highs haven't been as high either. Since Whedon & Co. favour the building crescendo style to year-long arcs, it's a safe bet that the best is yet to come.
So then, this episode. Sunnydale's adults become steadily crazier again until by the end they're torching their kids on a literal witch hunt. It's like a remake of 'Band Candy' that came far too soon and didn't even opt for a non-confectionery-based title to make it less obvious.
While it's the lesser of those two episodes, it does at least make an amusingly heavy-handed (as usual) commentary on overprotective parenting, we see Willow progressing in the black arts, and best of all, a bookless Giles gets abusive with the internet. So it's just back to business for Sunnydale's de-brainwashed adults again again, is it? Why don't they leave?
"Silence is this town's disease" - Joyce Summers
Helpless (3x12) **
What looks like it's going to be the stock episode featuring Slayer Kryptonite proves to be much more sinister when it's revealed that Giles is the one draining Buffy's powers, all as part of the latest meddling from the stuffy Watchers Council on the occasion of her 18th birthday.
But rather than pit Buffy against character actors doing affected English accents, she gets an inconsequential vampire villain to fight in the form of someone who was a criminally insane murderer even before he turned. They're going for a horror movie vibe in the musky mansion with polaroids lining the walls, and maybe I just wasn't in the mood, but I was more bored than creeped out.
"The important thing is that I kept up my special birthday tradition of gut-wrenching misery and horror" - Buffy Summers
The Zeppo (3x13) *****
It's been a decent season so far, but this is the first episode that's really leapt out as a classic. I love the switcheroo that sees the gang's dynamic world-saving antics sidelined to an exaggerated degree while we instead focus on what Xander did that night in order to feel a sense of self-worth.
Xander's lack of a paranormal gimmick has been an unspoken issue ever since Oz got bit, Willow restored Angel's soul and Cordelia stopped hanging around as the other regular human, and this episode combines that atypical angst with a more general identity crisis. Xander gets in with a bad crowd, loses his innocence and saves the day in his own modest, overlooked way. His friends may not realise his value yet, but he's proven himself to us.
Now the writers have poked fun at their own melodramatic tendencies, does that mean they've got it out of their systems completely? I wouldn't count on it.
"Of all the humiliations you've had I've witnessed, that was the latest" - Cordelia Chase
Bad Girls (3x14) ****
It's been a while since we had a deep and dark two-parter, I do like them. I can't help unfavourably comparing it to season two's superior efforts involving Evil Angel, Spike and Drusilla, but there's still plenty of season left, so I'll give the morally reprehensible Slayer and the indestructible Mayor a fair try.
Faith's unintentional murder of an innocent bystander is the main event of the episode, so it's easy to overlook the actual plot, which is mainly there to fill up the time and is yet another one about a cult of vampires searching for a powerful artefact for their demon master. In this case, that demon is the amusingly repulsive Balthazar, but as much entertainment value as he provides, that whole plot does feel sort of pointless in an otherwise pivotal episode.
In more substantial developments - by season three standards at least - we finally see evidence that Mayor Wilkins poses a threat as he deals with his head being temporarily sliced open without much fuss, and Wesley shows up. Giles' development from the early episodes has been more subtle than I realised, as it's really like they rebooted his character and added a generous serving of smarm to bring us this new Watcher. I don't like him, but to be fair, that's the point.
"A trade... intriguing. No, wait, boring. Pull off his kneecaps" - Balthazar
Consequences (3x15) ***
Buffy and (some of) the gang try their best to get through to Faith, but she seems to have crossed pretty much irredeemably to the dark side now.
Setting up a dark counterpart who's the perfect match to your hero is far from a new idea. In fact it's one of the most tried-and-tested ever, but by playing the long game and bothering to develop Faith after already establishing the dual Slayers concept last year with Kendra, the transition was handled extremely well. It's just that closing scene that feels weirdly abrupt.
I'm sad to see Mr. Trick go too.
"You can't imagine the price for true evil" - Angel
Doppelgangland (3x16) ****
It's good to spend more time getting acquainted with leather-clad bisexual vampire Willow, but the justification is weak. I don't like it when shows revisit an alternate reality that was supposed to be a one-time thing - this show requires major suspension of disbelief as it is, but somehow this pushes it too far for me.
So when I was able to stop thinking about that, I appreciated that this is one of the better episodes of the year, especially for Willow. Xander had his chance to prove he was more than the wisecracking sidekick a few episodes previously, and here Willow gets to see the embodiment of herself if she changed her attitude and was a bit less "reliable" (and was an undead monster).
The Willow-on-Willow confrontations are what we're waiting for, but the best scenes are her friends' reactions when they see Vampire Willow and fear the worst, then see Human Willow and have a big group hug. If anyone doubted that Alyson Hannigan was one of the best actors of the bunch, watching her play each Willow pretending to be the other Willow should seal it.
Seeing Faith still hanging out with the gang at the library was a bit of a shock. Did those last couple of episodes even happen?
"That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and skanky, and I think I'm kinda gay" - Willow Rosenberg
Enemies (3x17) ***
This episode goes overboard on the duplicity to finally make it clear who's on which side. Good, seeing them all get along was getting annoying.
Faith is sent on a whoring mission from her creepy new boss to extract Angel's soul the way Buffy did that time, but when he resists her violent advances they have to do things the old fashioned way with robes and chanting instead.
It's not a fault of the writing or the acting that it was clearly a ruse all along - Angel's assaults for show were conspicuously non-lethal, and some flickers of doubt in the facial expressions prove that David Boreanaz isn't so wooden after all. It's not enough to make me reconsider watching all five seasons of his own series, but enough to make me wonder if subsequent years of this show might have benefited from his presence.
"Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards any more" - Rupert Giles
Earshot (3x18) ***
We get a bit of 'light' relief from the dingy Faith arc with an episode where Buffy nearly loses her mind, another character almost commits suicide and they narrowly prevent a high school massacre. This one was notoriously postponed by a few months due to its scheduled broadcast being just a week after the Columbine shooting, and it was probably the right decision.
Buffy gains telepathic powers after being infected by the latest of season three's creatively gross demons. The bestiary has really expanded this year. This telepathy works like it normally does in TV, giving her the ability to hear improbably complete sentences in the characters' own voices, and once again I'm nitpicking the science in a show about paranormal monsters.
It's not a classic episode for Buffy, but I enjoyed the revealing scenes where we're privy to the characters' thoughts and get to see how the writers really feel about them. Oz is silent and deep, Willow is eternally anxious, Giles is caring and Xander can't stop thinking about sex. I especially liked Cordelia's honesty and shallowness, as the only character to voice exactly what she's thinking.
After being used for cruel comic relief for three years, this is also the first episode where background character Jonathan is treated seriously and exposes a troubled side. To say this will be touched on again later in the series would be a massive understatement.
"We talked. Then he ripped out the heart of a demon and fed it to me and we talked some more" - Buffy Summers
Choices (3x19) ****
Rather than wait patiently for their adversary to rise on finale day, the gang take the offensive against the Mayor and Faith and go all-out in Mission: Impossible style, complete with wires but without the face masks.
This week's MacGuffin artefact is a box of bugs that apparently plays some role in the Mayor's ascension, but viewers should be suitably distracted by the scathing critique of Buffy and Angel's doomed relationship to worry about trivial details like none of this making sense.
As the characters spend their less death-defying downtime considering their higher education options (or lack thereof), Willow's treated to even more development as she finally becomes self-assured. As a bonus, her pointless pencil floating trick pays off big time.
"I made him an offer he couldn't survive" - Faith
The Prom (3x20) **
As is the show's habit these days, an impending serious two-parter is balanced out by a lightweight prelude. That's 'lightweight' to stone-hearted people like me who prefer a healthy dose of monster fighting, I realise this will be much more highly rated by people with an interest in Buffy and Angel's relationship which reaches its end here. It's a mature decision, though mainly motivated by the character getting his own spin-off.
The part where Sunnydale High's students break their weird perpetual silence to thank Buffy for saving them from all the monsters over the years was very touching, so I guess I'm not completely soulless after all. Anya gets more firmly established and is becoming more plausible as a main character too, while Wesley and Cordelia's blossoming romance is just a bit disturbing.
"You've seen one big, hairy bringer of death, you've seen 'em all" - Willow Rosenberg
Graduation Day, Part 1 (3x21) ***
After spending the first part of the episode building hype for the Mayor's impending ascension and transformation into a gargantuan demon, the second half deals with getting that pesky evil Slayer out of the way by coming up with a typically convenient reason why Buffy and Faith must fight to the death.
It's not the most satisfying end to that season-long relationship, but there are bigger snakes to fry.
"That's one spunky little girl you've raised. I'm gonna eat her" - Richard Wilkins III
Graduation Day, Part 2 (3x22) ****
Buffy and Angel finally part company following an extremely messed-up feeding scene that should be proof to even the most ardent shippers that their continuing relationship wouldn't exactly be a recipe for good health.
With the end of high school marking a cleaner split than most, this will be the last time I see several of these characters, on a regular basis at least. My least favourite characters, as it happens. So I'm not going to be digging out Angel any time soon.
When the Mayor's much-hyped ascension finally takes place, we're treated to a spectacular display of team spirit that makes a very satisfying ending to the show's high school years, and to the most consistent season so far. The best episodes weren't a patch on the great stuff in season two, but there weren't any major stinkers either. Consistency is good, but I don't expect many episodes from this year to make it into my Top 10, not unless things go seriously downhill from here.
"You all proved more or less adequate" - Principal Snyder
The Freshman (4x01) ****
After a literal blowout ending, the show gets a very fresh look for season four - with a daunting university setting, condensed cast and now in widescreen. I'm all for the changes, and the departure from high school was the main reason I was prepared to give the series another try when my brother bought these boxsets and I devoured them. I was in high school at the time, but clearly found it uncomfortable watching something so squarely aimed at my demographic.
With Willow and Oz feeling at home in the higher education environment, we get to experience the weirdness of college through Buffy, who's conveniently dumber than she was made out to be previously and isn't sharing a dorm with Willow because that wouldn't be alienating enough, especially when they've only moved five miles from home. It works, and if you have a problem with the Slayer being less adept than usual, the next episode offers a retroactive get-out clause.
The remaining gang (sans Cordelia and Angel who are off in their own show) get a new lease of life post-graduation, with Giles looking extremely comfortable as a gentleman of leisure and Xander having matured considerably on his disastrous road trip. They gradually get back together to defeat the Minor Bad - an enjoyable trio of a sassy vampire and her ditzy lackeys who are among the better one-time bad guys, but get overlooked amidst the whole massive redefinition of the series. So far, so improved. I miss the library though.
"I didn't mean to suck" - Buffy Summers
Living Conditions (4x02) ***
Buffy has more adjusting to do as her super fun roomie becomes increasingly intolerable, while some glowing-eyed demons are up to something sinister in the shadows.
An early bit of light relief in the year, this is the best comedy episode for a while. You really have to sit through the 40 minutes of set-up, incrementally dialling up the goofiness, for that ending to be acceptable.
"Toodles!" - Kathy Newman
The Harsh Light of Day (4x03) ****
Spike's back, and with the latest in a long line of mythical ancient artefacts on his finger, he's sodding invincible to boot. Until Buffy easily slides the ring off his finger anyway. This show isn't always great on endings, but it's an enjoyable ride.
Spike's return in season three didn't do much for me, and it's much more satisfying to see him back to being bad. Teaming him up with the recently sired Harmony is a nice touch too, their bickering being a nice contrast to his twisted infatuation with Drusilla - clearly still an open wound.
There's plenty more going in this episode too, as Buffy is punished once again for trying to live care-free (this show might have a less liberal bent than I realised) and Anya shows up naked at Xander's place, continuing to demonstrate her adorable lack of human adjustment. If she's basically Cordelia's replacement in strict gender balance terms, it's another win for the next generation.
As for the shameless Angel crossover set up at the end, stop trying to tempt me. I won't fall for your marketing machinations. Please stop.
"Can we eat a doctor so I can get a stethoscope and hear my heart not beating?" - Harmony Kendall
Fear, Itself (4x04) ***
The second Halloween episode - wooooo! - is a bit better than the first, mainly thanks to the setting of a genuine haunted house, which the series bizarrely hasn't done before. Rather than costumes coming to life, this time all inanimate objects become personified, from rubber bats and tarantulas to knife-wielding plastic skeletons made rotting flesh, in a house fuelled by fear with its structure in flux.
The setting and atmosphere are the main attractions, since the plot itself just involves the characters wandering around hallways and becoming increasingly afraid. There's more superficial psychoanalysis as we see what are apparently the characters' biggest fears coming to life, but it's not the deepest exploration they've done. They also intentionally get Giles' character wrong for a week as he embraces the festive spirit, which I'm going to pretend didn't happen.
For once, the overly simple resolution is one of the story's strengths, helping to diffuse the tension very neatly. I think they had one more crack at the Halloween episode in season six, so there's still time to make their holiday classic.
"If we close our eyes, and say it's a dream, it'll stab us to death" - Xander Harris
Beer Bad (4x05) *
Now that's how you shatter a solid run of episodes. This is without doubt the worst episode they've done so far, but since I'm not even at the series' half-way point yet, I won't get my hopes up. Maybe with hindsight it'll become amusingly bad - that episode where Buffy drinks tainted beer and turns into a cavewoman - but it was a chore to sit through.
Even beyond the ridiculous premise, Buffy's character is treated appallingly. She hasn't always made the most sensible decisions in times of crisis, but moping over the sleazy Parker for three episodes and then seeking solace in the platitudes of frat boys is a new low. Watching her beat up Parker several times didn't leave me as satisfied as it was meant to, mainly because the character doing it was a comedy cavewoman.
"Nothing can defeat the penis!" - Xander Harris
Wild at Heart (4x06) ***
Spike is still hanging around in Sunnydale, and this time it's personal! But then he's immediately captured before the opening titles and we won't see him again until next time, so no worries. This episode isn't about him.
Instead it's about Oz, requiring Seth Green to expand beyond deadpan to spend almost the entire running time in varying degrees of angst. He probably does it just fine, but it's such a radical departure and such a sudden exit for the character that it was hard to reconcile with the Oz that's been brightening up apocalyptic scenes for the best part of two years.
It would be easy (and fair) to hold a grudge against this episode for ruining the series' only surviving significant relationship, not to mention the cutest. I'm also not fond of the improbably named Veruca and her insane personality. So I guess I kind of hated this one, but Alyson Hannigan gets such an emotional reaction from playing distraught Willow that it ends up being compelling.
This is getting to be a seriously depressing year. I'm used to Buffy dealing with this shit, but what have you bastards got against Willow?
"Somebody's domesticated the hell out of you" - Veruca
The Initiative (4x07) ***
It's time to break out the season arc as we learn who the sneaky soldiers are and that Buffy's teacher and uninspired new love interest have roles in the shady organisation.
The Initiative is an okay idea - and its B-movie corridors and tin foil lab are acceptable TV budget fare - but the concept doesn't stand up to too much scrutiny. Where were they during any of the apocalyptic events of previous years? We saw what Sunnydale would have been like without Buffy, but have these guys been doing much at all beyond keeping one university campus relatively vampire free?
Its main functions as far as the plot goes are for giving Riley a secret identity that complements Buffy's (and for putting them in the situation of unknowingly combating each other), and for turning Spike into a permanent ally by rendering him vampirically impotent. The scene where he has trouble performing with Willow is a memorable one, even if she's a bit unrealistically late to lamp him.
Buffy's inevitable new boyfriend can't avoid the Angel comparison. I didn't even like Angel that much, but Riley is no Angel.
"I always worried what would happen if that bitch got some funding" - Spike
Pangs (4x08) ***
Speaking of Angel, look who's back for a completely pointless cameo that serves entirely as bait to lure hesitant viewers over to the spin-off. You tempted me with your superficial crossover elements before, I admit it, but this is just desperate.
So, ignoring Angel's non-integral role, this one is a Thanksgiving special about an avenging Native American spirit that gets disturbed from its slumber and exacts revenge on whoever happens to be around. For a while, I thought this was going to be 'Beer Bad' bad, but then the intensive post-colonial guilt tripping turned it into a worthwhile piece, as the gang debates whether they have the right to bust this ghost like they normally would because it wouldn't look very PC.
Quite a lot of it isn't very good though, from Xander's variable sickness to the fact that Spike survives unslain. I like the guy, and the series is better for his presence, but this tentative allegiance is odd.
"I like my evil like I like my men. Evil" - Buffy Summers
Something Blue (4x09) ***
Everyone's getting a bit tired of Willow's justified despair, so let's make it fun with a quirky episode about her witchy magic going awry, as she makes Giles blind, Xander attract demons and Buffy and Spike fall for each other through selective poor choices of phrasing.
It's a fun episode that's inconsequential in itself, but still packs in a lot of foreshadowing. There's also more desperate audience fishing as Buffy mentions having made a cameo in Angel between episodes. Not interested.
"This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed" - Spike
Hush (4x10) *****
This Whedon classic will be on most fans' favourite lists, unless you're blind and find a lot of it incomprehensible.
Seemingly made on a dare, this largely dialogue-free episode is a bold statement that also tries its hardest to be frightening. The Gentlemen instantly became icons of the series, with their weird floating movements, permanent grins and smart suits, even if some of those guys in the background look a bit on the goofy side.The story itself is a better take on the dark fairy tale than 'Gingerbread,' partly because that earlier episode didn't feature an OHP lecture from Giles with over-enthusiastic use of red marker pen.
The sudden departure of a main cast member several episodes ago is turned into an opportunity for progressive character development as Willow meets fellow trainee witch Tara, Anya's directness and lack of social adjustment continues to endear her, and I also appreciate them cutting to the chase by having Buffy and Riley learn each other's identities so they don't have to drag out the duplicity.
If this isn't the best episode, it's only because 'Innocence' was so definitive.
"Looking in windows, knocking on doors,
They need to take seven and they might take yours"
Doomed (4x11) ***
Tough luck if you couldn't care less about Buffy and Riley's relationship, as that seems to be what's driving the show now. Having followed her myriad misadventures for three and a half years, I'm on her side with the cautious negativity, and it's interesting to see that she's finally given up on the prospect of escaping her fate and has accepted her Slayer destiny. I think the millennium had passed by this point, so character development in a TV series is acceptable now.
If you are a bit annoyed at all the focus on Buffy and Riley, you're in good company with the rest of the characters feeling a bit unappreciated. To make up for it, they give us a literally old school story about a prophetic earthquake, human sacrifice and re-opening the Hellmouth that takes us back into the ruins of Sunnydale High, a building that's inexplicably still preserved in the exact state of devastation it was at the end of season three, complete with chunks of dismembered snake demon.
It doesn't really bring the magic back. I guess moving forward with new ideas is the way to go. Except that's what brought us the Initiative.
"Oh - as usual - dear" - Rupert Giles
A New Man (4x12) ***
I've been craving a good Giles episode this season, and this... well, it's a Giles episode anyway. His tirelessly mischievous counterpart Ethan Rayne returns and changes Giles into a demon, seemingly just for laughs. Though I found it more tragic than humorous watching the metamorphosed ex-librarian stumbling around his house breaking stuff and getting hunted by his friends because they don't speak demon.
Anthony Head is a trooper for putting up with the extensive prosthetics and the costume - assuming that really was him under all that and not just a passable lookalike. It's also good to see Giles and Spike getting to bond, even if it's motivated by mutual peril and money. But one of these days, it'd be nice to see Ethan using his dark sorcery powers to actually do something threatening.
"Bloody humans!" - Rupert Giles
The I in Team (4x13) **
Professor Maggie finally earns her Evil Bitch Monster of Death moniker as her suspicion/jealousy of Buffy's abilities sees her send the Slayer on a suicide mission that unfortunately doesn't end as fatally as planned. Even if it's looking like the Initiative plot will be stretched beyond my patience with the rest of the season, they didn't waste much time getting the set-up out of the way: its dark side has been exposed, Riley's disillusioned, and the evil genius is already dead.
The reveal of this season's arch villain is one of the low points of the entire series. The Mayor last year was already a step down from Evil Angel the previous year, but at least Faith was around to bloody the waters. There had better be more to this season's finale than Buffy fighting a cyborg zombie that talks like a baby, or this is going to be the first year that reverses the trend of a building crescendo into a steady decline.
It seems that Willow and Tara have started to get intimate too, but the show is sure to be vague and suggestive about that 'sensitive' partnership, even as they splice together a fighting/screwing montage for Buffy and Riley's more mainstream coupling.
"Everyone's getting spanked but me" - Willow Rosenberg
Goodbye Iowa (4x14) **
For the first time, I had the sense of the series becoming serialised to the point of episodes blurring together, something that ancient memories tell me will become even more the case in the latter half of season five. If I wasn't making these notes, I doubt I'd remember much of what this one was about when looking back at the end of the series - something about Riley angst?
It is a Riley-centric episode for the most part, which automatically made it one of the lesser entries of the year for me. It's not like I can't warm to new characters - I like Anya just fine, especially as a replacement for Cordelia, but the pure, misled farm boy doesn't do it for me. Even when they artificially inject him with more backstory in the form of steroid abuse and try hard to cast him as the 'good' counterpart to Adam. A legitimately boring character would be more interesting than these delusions of significance.
Buffy is in devoted boyfriend protection mode again, and some uncharacteristic sleuthing treats us to the worst exposition-heavy dialogue exchange since Jenny's uncle reminded her of her gypsy origins in season two. I find that the entire Initiative arc is more entertaining if you switch to cheesy B-movie appreciation mode - how else am I supposed to react when the main villain has a floppy disk drive in his chest?
"You really should get yourself a boring boyfriend" - Anya
This Year's Girl (4x15) ***
The dull Adam story thankfully takes a backseat when Faith miraculously awakens from her coma and doesn't waste any time busting out of hospital and evading the law long enough to make Buffy and her loved ones suffer.
Seeing Faith and Buffy get reacquainted on the campus packed a lot more tension than any scenes with the more technically proficient Borg Frankenstein, and when she goes after Joyce with a knife, you know the character is beyond redemption.
Or that would be the case if not for a last-second switcheroo that sees the show explore another overused sci-fi/fantasy cliche and promises some fun ahead. I'm still waiting for the time loop episode.
"I'd hate to see the pursuit of a homicidal lunatic get in the way of pursuing a homicidal lunatic" - Xander Harris
Who Are You (4x16) *****
Joss Whedon takes the reins for this second part of Faith's return, and manages to make a daft comedy gimmick into a vehicle for serious character exploration as Faith literally gets inside Buffy's skin and we see beneath hers (that bit isn't literal).
It isn't only Whedon who gets the credit for making this the best episode since his last one - it's also a great opportunity for Sarah Michelle Gellar to let her hair down as her evil twin, and she's brilliant. Eliza Dushku is fine as Buffy too, but the goodie two-shoes role is less commanding, and this is probably the most 'Buffy'-lite episode since 'The Zeppo' as a result. Good, it's much more morbidly entertaining watching Faith do as much emotional damage as she can in 40 minutes.
With Whedon back on writing duties, the show is finally bold enough to move beyond suggestions about Willow and Tara's relationship - alright, Faith's observation that she "isn't driving stick any more" is still mainly suggestive. They do still have to express their romantic feelings strictly in terms of orgasmic magic rituals, though there's apparently no problem showing Faith taking advantage of Riley in Buffy's body.
Unlike 'Hush,' which only has minor ongoing arc stuff skirting around the edges, this is sadly spoiled by scenes with Adam developing his gospel and building a (doomed and ineffective) underground army, making it that little bit less suitable for stand-alone greatest hits viewing. When's Joss Whedon next scheduled to write an episode? Maybe I'll skip to that.
"I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up" - Faith
Superstar (4x17) ****
The first time I saw this episode, I hadn't watched much of the series before so had no idea who Jonathan was. But I knew enough for it to be clear that something was very awry.
The inspired touch of altering the sacred opening titles to incorporate Danny Strong's diminutive 'hero' is what turns this from a fun but inconsequential episode into a memorable classic. It works even better when you've seen Jonathan's progression in earlier seasons from background dweeb punchline to troubled young man, and this is another stepping stone on his path to the dark side as he gets involved with magic.
True to Jonathan's insatiable ego, the writers don't hold back on making his augmented character impossibly perfect - a skilled fighter, hacker, wit, chess master, crooner, film star and trusted adviser on relationship and military matters. They then take it creepily further as his insidious image graces every bedroom wall and billboard like a Thai monarch, not to mention those Swedish twins.
Like the previous body swap episode, this otherwise stand-alone tale has some Adam scenes thrown in that are a bit unfortunate in the grand scheme, if you chose to watch this one for lightweight laughs and had to be reminded of the series' worst arch villain (that means I'm staying positive about the years to come).
"Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books" - Rupert Giles
Where the Wild Things Are (4x18) *
"Hot, sweaty, big sex." That line cracked me up when I watched this as a teenager (I enjoyed the idea of sex being "big"), but I didn't remember anything about the orgasm wall or repressed poltergeists. The message seems to be simultaneously that repressing natural urges is bad, but so is having too much sex. So just have an appropriate amount of sex, alright kids?
This might be my least favourite episode so far, if 'Beer Bad' hadn't unfortunately existed. There isn't even much in the way of character development, apart from the reveal of Giles' acoustic rock talents and Tara getting more integrated into the group. On the bright side, at least it's a break from the dull Adam plot for one episode. Unless he did have a scene but it was instantly forgettable.
"We have nothing in common besides both of us liking your penis" - Anya
New Moon Rising (4x19) ***
When you're watching episodes back-to-back at an unhealthy pace, it's good to have stories that highlight character progressions you might have missed. From my perspective, Oz was hardly gone, but it was apparently enough time to travel around the world learning the secrets of inner wolf mastery from Tibetan mystics while Willow's been getting on with her own romantic and mystical explorations. It annoyed me that they still didn't have the ovaries to show a kiss though. What are you afraid of?
I like Oz-centric episodes for the clunky moral allegories they reliably shove in there, and the theme of tolerance and bigotry in this one is much better done than the "all men are animals" themes that usually go with the werewolf eps. Buffy is freaked by Willow coming out, while her own boyfriend has to learn that demons are people too. Some of them. And not really people, but you know, not all bad.
Spike is not one of them, not yet at least, as he cuts a deal with Adam with the aim of getting the chip out of his head. All he has to do is betray the trust he worked to gain from the Scooby gang. No problem there.
- "You were a Boy Scout?"
- "Parts of me" - Spike and Adam
The Yoko Factor (4x20) **
The latest Angel crossover leaks into the 'previously on...' intro, which is just annoying. I made my choice not to follow both shows in tandem, I'm not going to start staggered viewing now. When Angel shows up back in Sunnydale I was actually intrigued, but in the end his visit doesn't amount to much more than his last one. He gets to fight Riley and express his disapproval, but even that doesn't endear him to me.
Spike proves he still has teeth despite his performance issues as he sows discord among the gang to rob the Slayer of her valuable allies, but he's only adding fuel to a fire that's been growing all year long. As an individual episode I didn't enjoy this one too much - as the lead-in to the big finish, even less so - but it's always satisfying when the subtle tensions you've watched brewing in the background explode all over the place. Not that there were any subtle signs to make Giles' instant alcoholism more credible.
"I guess I'm starting to understand why there's no ancient prophecy about a Chosen One and her friends" - Buffy Summers
Primeval (4x21) ***
The Scooby tension is conveniently resolved when they make friends again and decide on a course of action that means they literally need each other - the remaining core of Buffy, Willow, Xander and Giles anyway, forget about those noobs.
Was there really a grand plan for Riley all along? Or was this just a last-ditch attempt to make him interesting? It doesn't really work, but as the send-off for the Initiative and Adam (good riddance on both counts), this is an adequate not-quite-finale to another generally solid season.
It's all a big step down from the Battle of Sunnydale High in season three, Buffy vs. Angel in two and even the Master in the first half-year, but they've saved up some of the budget so you can enjoy the explosions and stunt people flying all over the place if you're into that sort of thing.
"What kind of freaks are you people?" - Colonel McNamara
Restless (4x22) *****
I didn't expect 'Hush' to be knocked off its pedestal as the best instalment of the year, but this surreal and deeply symbolic dream anthology is completely great. I remember liking it a lot the first time around, but back then I was mainly impressed by the oddness and the humour. Watching the series in sequence, with half-remembered knowledge of things to come, I got a lot more out of it this time.
I love a good subdued post-finale. Farscape used to do it all the time. After the action-heavy preceding episode, this one slows right down and takes us deeper into the characters' psyches than ever. With all that lovely stuff going on, the brilliant dreamy style in general and Giles' song to top it off, the mandatory threat of the first Slayer feels a bit unnecessary, though her pursuit of Willow is one of the only scenes in the whole series I've found genuinely chilling. That might just be because it induced a Twin Peaks flashback, and that's always disorientating.
It's probably not my favourite episode - I'm going to cling stubbornly to season two as the flawed golden age - but it's my favourite stand-alone episode so far, and it'll be tough to beat. It's also got to be up there with the densest, most tantalisingly cryptic episodes of any TV series ever made. You can tell Joss Whedon's a prog fan.
"I wear the cheese. The cheese does not wear me" - Cheese Man
Buffy vs. Dracula (5x01) ***
As season openers go, this is about as random as they get, which is probably for the best considering how serialised and interchangeable the episodes will start to become soon. There need to be a few in the box set you can stick on without being weighed down by major villains and ongoing relationship angst.
The Dracula plot itself is gimmicky but enjoyable, plausibly incorporating the apparently non-fictional character into the show's universe and importing a nice Gothic atmosphere. It's more Francis Ford Coppola than Hammer, but Thomas Wanker's first score for the series is suitably bombastic. And yes, his credit showing up on the screen never stops being funny if you grew up in the UK.
Beyond the one-off story, effort is made to re-establish all the characters for the coming year. Giles feels redundant and is about to head back to Blighty when Buffy decides she finally needs his guidance after all to learn more about her destiny, and Xander makes a commitment to stop being everyone's bitch. Dawn doesn't get much to do though, only showing up right at the end and getting a single line. That's hardly fair, considering the significant role she's played in every episode up to this point when she's always been around obviously.
"You are strange and off-putting" - Dracula
Real Me (5x02) ***
The blasé introduction of Buffy's sister feels very unique and shows the confidence of the creators. With a lesser show that was less concerned with continuity and maintaining its fan base, you might suspect they actually were forcing in a new character in the clumsiest way possible and just hoping you wouldn't notice, but when Joss Whedon characters who you know have never met before are talking to each other like they have a long history, you can safely hedge your bets with the "or is it something more?" camp.
Nothing about the Dawn enigma is revealed as of yet, but since the episode is mainly focused on her teenage tribulations, it's clear she's going to stick around. While that keeps this episode from being anything more than a transition, there's an enjoyable return for Harmony and Giles takes us along for his midlife crisis as he buys a sexy car and a magic shop.
"Most magic shop owners in Sunnydale have the life expectancy of a Spinal Tap drummer" - Buffy Summers
The Replacement (5x03) ***
The first Xander episode for a long time, this is sub-'Zeppo' but works as a good follow-up to see how much he's matured in the interim. Comparatively speaking.
The show pulls another Trek gimmick out of the bag with personified 'good' and 'bad' split personalities, and we're unfairly made to feel prejudiced by assuming Failure Xander is the 'real' one while Successful Xander is the obvious demon/robot duplicate. Try four years of conditioning. To its credit, these types of episodes don't usually benefit from your actor having a (near-)identical twin to cut down on awkward blue screen issues.
It's up there with the most ridiculous premises of the entire series, and doesn't make much sense as an evil scheme even when they have Giles explain it in tedious detail, but let's assume there's dark and heavy stuff coming up later in the year and enjoy these early, light-hearted romps for what they are.
"If Xander kills himself, he's dead" - Buffy Summers
Out of My Mind (5x04) ***
After the jolly japes with twin Xanders, prepare to never be happy again as Joyce's health starts to decline and Willow starts to show signs of being a magic junkie.
This episode is a welcome reminder that Spike is still a soulless demon and not your mate, as he betrays his sometime allies at the prospect of getting the neutering chip out of his head. It doesn't work, and they... forgive him, basically. It wasn't clear where they were going with our friendly neighbourhood undead Billy Idol until the final scene, which makes a strange kind of sense.
Most of this episode is actually about Riley being upset about losing his steroid-enhanced powers and becoming a regular guy. Boo hoo there.
"The guy is really starting to bug me in that special 'I want to shove something wooden through his heart' kind of way" - Buffy Summers
No Place Like Home (5x05) ****
Let the arc begin in earnest as season five's over-manicured villain makes an entrance and Buffy finds out earlier than expected that her sister isn't supposed to exist. Good call on that one - not bothering to explain the Dawn mystery in any way for several episodes was a gutsy move, but any longer than this would have been tedious.
This has been a consistent season so far, which is a polite way of saying none of the episodes really stood out to me until this one. The reveal of Dawn's identity is our main gift, but even better is Buffy's determination to fight her mother's supernatural illness, only to realise that it's not in her field.
On first impression, Glory is a more entertaining enemy than last season's Adam, but that wasn't difficult. Though she threatens to become extremely annoying if she's going to be around for the long haul.
"I could crap a better existence than this" - Glory
Family (5x06) **
Tara gets an episode, and like when Riley gets an episode, it's a bit of a downer. Even if you can relate to her feeling of being the spare wheel in the group who's only connected through one of its pairs of boobs (been there), the feel-good resolution goes too far into mawkish territory. Not to mention the confused logic of that ending and Spike showing up for the sake of it.
I'm glad the show is more open about Willow and Tara's relationship now, even showing them snuggling in bed and above the dance floor. I guess they've given more 'traditional' viewers sufficient time to get over their freaking out.
"You have the cutest little separating sores, has anyone ever told you that?" - Glory
Fool for Love (5x07) *****
At long last, Spike gets an origin episode to fill us in on the history of William the Bloody from terrible poet through his career as a Slayer slayer right up to filling in the blanks between seasons two and three, with a welcome appearance by the unpleasant Chaos Demon.
I have vague memories of what happens between Buffy and Spike at some point in the future, which doesn't seem in any way plausible at the moment, but this is a fantastic episode for the pair. Buffy has a bad fight and worries about her mortality, so consults the expert to find out how Slayers tend to meet their maker.
What she gets is a reluctant date and undead philosophising, while we're treated to extended flashbacks featuring Angel, Drusilla and Darla for old times' sake. I especially liked the on-screen captions informing us of the specific settings where the action was taking place - London, Yorkshire, New York... 'China.' All of it?
The only thing I didn't really like about the episode is how inept it makes the rest of the gang look as they fail to provide sufficient back-up to Riley and his grenades. They used to be pretty good at this.
"Look at the wonderful mess you've made" - Drusilla
Shadow (5x08) ***
At the best of times, this show balances exciting demonic escapades with mundane personal crises and finds a way to tie them together. At times like this, the news of Joyce's brain tumour makes the appearance of another CGI snake monster later in the episode feel particularly pointless and non-threatening. It's not like the series has been low on 'mature' content before, but these days the balance is starting to feel off.
Glory continues to be established well as the season's main villain, though as we're still comfortably in the first half of the year, I may get sick of the sight of her. Not as sick as I am of Riley, whose exit is being seriously stretched out.
"Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshipers" - Xander Harris
Listening to Fear (5x09) ***
Introducing an alien to a show that regularly deals with extra-dimensional evil isn't too much of a stretch, but having Riley and the post-Initiative guys investigate turns this into a very different show. Still, at least the alien really is alien, all crawly and unpleasant, and not just a guy with make-up and forehead ridges.
Joyce's decline gets more upsetting with every episode, Riley becomes ever more loathsome, and it's revealed that friendly hospital intern Ben is somehow in league with Glory, because after Riley they've presumably learned that we're not very interested in boring, ordinary people. Good call.
"It's a killer snot monster from outer space" - Rupert Giles
Into the Woods (5x10) **
Riley is finally out of the picture, I just wish they hadn't dragged it out for half the year. Maybe Sarah Michelle Gellar and whoever that guy is that plays Riley did good dramatic work in the break-up scenes, but I just wanted it to be over.
They even make Xander and Anya's relationship something more than bickering and sex jokes, which was a long time coming but hopefully won't be a regular occurrence. You've got enough serious, angsty characters already, don't ruin the light relief.
Joyce gets better and Buffy's no longer burdened by a tedious boyfriend, those are the main things to take away from this one. The show's increasingly serialised nature makes it harder to skip chapters, but this one can be handled by a quick synopsis.
"Thank you for making time in your busy life to come in here and get in the way of mine" - Anya
Triangle (5x11) ***
Things have been getting a bit serious of late, so here's a comedy, baby-eating troll to cheer us up before things get even worse.
While there's some inevitable moping from Buffy, it's not up to Angel levels so we'll be able to forget Riley even existed soon enough. This episode is more about Willow, Anya and Xander - presumably the 'Triangle' of the title, unless you want to throw the troll into the mix - as the two women are generally bitches to each other and Xander refuses to referee.
I think Anya comes off better. I miss the old Willow when she was squarely defined by her ability to use computers rather than by her ability to conjure.
"You do well to flee, townspeople. I will pillage your lands and dwellings! I will burn your crops and make merry sport with your more attractive daughters" - Olaf
Checkpoint (5x12) ****
Way to effectively ramp up the suspense, writers. The demands of the Watchers Council aren't especially threatening, even before Buffy slams them down and effectively makes them her admin team, but Glory's ultimatum that she will methodically eliminate all of Buffy's friends and family has a bit more bite.
Then, just to over-complicate things and help this story to stretch over 10 remaining episodes, a load of crusading knights show up who are sworn enemies of Glory but intent on killing the good guys regardless.
Even with all the escalating tension, my favourite part was Buffy turning to Spike to provide refuge for her family in his dank crypt. Failing to hook Spike up with Joyce may be one of the series' biggest missed opportunities.
"You're the only one that understands. Probably because I haven't sucked your brain out yet" - Glory
Blood Ties (5x13) ****
Dawn learns that her whole existence is been a lie, and to say she doesn't take it well would be an understatement. First Joyce's brain tumour, now a self-harming teenager. As much as I'm enjoying this season generally - especially as an improvement over the last one - I wouldn't blame anyone for quitting here to avoid further despair. It's not going to get any more upbeat in the near future.
Like many (most?) episodes this year, this is more a chapter in the ongoing story than a stand-out tale in its own right. The good guys learn what Dawn is, but Glory doesn't yet. We learn that Ben and Glory share a body, but the characters don't yet. This serialised approach annoyed me the first time around, when I felt cheated out of half a season's worth of middling monsters-of-the-week, but this time it feels more satisfying, as long as they don't commit the sin of padding.
What annoyed me more was Giles writing the big secret down in a notebook where a teenage girl could find it, let alone a Hellgod. And why aren't they crashing at Spike's any more?
"Conversation's over, Hellbitch" - Buffy Summers
Crush (5x14) ***
Can you love without a soul? That's something that's always bugged and confused me a little since we first saw Spike and Drusilla being all over each other, and it's at the core of why I can't take Spike seriously as a potential romantic interest for Buffy. That's not undeadism - he is a terrible creature. Obviously I love him, but come on.
The Glory story takes a backseat for a few episodes to focus on relationships, feelings 'n' junk, which isn't a lot more compelling. I'm always glad to spend more time with William the Bloody, but this isn't as good as his recent origin story, and I wasn't as delighted by Drusilla's return as I expected to be. Could there actually be a sick part of me that's hoping Spike and Buffy do overcome their irreconcilable differences, and this bitch was getting in the way?
It's probably because I wanted him to end up with Joyce.
"My answer is the same as always. No threesomes unless it's boy, boy, girl. Or Charlize Theron" - Harmony Kendall
I Was Made to Love You (5x15) ***
This stand-alone-for-now story of an irrepressible Sexbot brings back a nostalgic season two vibe, as well as the shaky quality of those early years. But there are a couple of things that elevate it above the likes of the similar stinker 'Ted' - I enjoyed the extent of Warren's deplorable creepiness in designing the "perfect" girlfriend, and it was a very welcome bit of light relief in an extremely depressing season that reaches its nadir at the shock conclusion.
When any future episodes tend towards the silly and lightweight side, I'll take that as a sign to be very worried.
"I go online sometimes, but everyone's spelling is really bad, it's depressing" - Tara Maclay
The Body (5x16) ****
I wasn't looking forward to having to go through this again, but it's not like I can start skipping them now. This is a legendary and rightly celebrated but excessively hard-hitting installment in the life of the lead character, which arguably goes too far and works too well.
It's not like I hadn't known this episode was coming all the way through the series, and I can only vaguely remember my reaction the first time around, which was more impressed on a technical level than moved in an emotional way. So let's seek solace in the cold, analytic approach - this episode's largely silent, ultra-realistic presentation works as an excellent counterpoint to the score-heavy 'Hush.' Yes, well done all round - some top-hole acting too. Don't think about the upsetting plot now, there's a good chap. Stiff upper lip.
"We're not supposed to move the body" - Buffy Summers
Forever (5x17) *****
After an experimental, format-shattering episode comes this much more Buffy-ish take on bereavement, and for me it's the superior of the two, and one of the most sinister stories they ever did.
Resurrecting Joyce would be a massive cop-out, so you know all the way through that Dawn's desperate efforts to do just that will fail and lead to her finally having to accept her loss. But then the spell apparently works, and something Joyce-like shambles back home and knocks on the door, for what has to be a contender for the scariest scene in the series. The cop-out this time is merciful.
Even more interesting are various characters' reactions to Dawn's plan, which start out as sensible and grown-up as you'd expect, but then reveal how much they're all having trouble dealing with the loss as Willow gives Dawn a helping hand towards finding the right spell and Buffy prepares to encounter whatever emerged from the grave in a moment of weakness. Spike helps out too, but come on, no surprise there.
"Life could come out of our love and our smooshing and that's beautiful" - Anya
Intervention (5x18) ***
We've had a few episodes off from Glory and her unpleasant minions, and whaddaya know? It's almost the end of the year and I'm not sick of her yet, good job everyone. This is probably her least vital episode so far though, as all she manages to achieve is learning that Spike isn't the Key. I know she doesn't yet know that the Key was given a whole retconned history and she's looking for someone genuinely new in town, but why didn't she kidnap and torture every one of Buffy's acquaintances weeks ago anyway? That's just sloppy.
There are a couple of other stories going on to bulk out the script too, which alternately give Sarah Michelle Gellar the chance to play wacky and tediously sombre. The more amusing is the arrival of Spike's Buffy sex robot; the less entertaining is Buffy's desert vision quest, which only exists to give us something to look back on and feel inappropriately smug about after the finale.
For the first time, and in very forced way, the Buffy/Spike romance doesn't seem like a completely implausible development. So that's one positive against insurmountable negatives - guy's got to start somewhere.
"Death is your gift" - The First Slayer
Tough Love (5x19) **
This is mainly one of those in-betweeny episodes that I don't really like. Not to mention being repetitive, as Glory goes key-hunting again, though the consequences for Tara are a little more tragic and permanent than Spike's temporary wounds. Come on, she remains brain-sapped for three whole episodes.
Buffy quits college to become Dawn's full-time guardian, finally drawing a line under her student/Slayer balancing act, and Willow demonstrates her increasing superpowers when Glory attacks the woman she loves. This is all important stuff, but it's just a chapter, not a story.
"Did anybody order an apocalypse?" - Glory
Spiral (5x20) ***
After a few too many lucky escapes, Buffy takes a leaf from King Arthur's book and runs away. Speaking of, the rubbish knights finally show up again for their last appearance after being introduced too long ago. Not the most essential of plot strands, but I guess it was worth it for the scene of knights on horseback attacking the Scooby Gang's Scooby Van.
The show once again demonstrates its flair for making a bad situation much worse as the gang calls the absolute last person they should to their aid, and they unknowingly wind up inviting their mortal enemy into their siege camp. We learn the rest of the backstory about Glory, Ben and the Key in a scene that rivals the Architect in The Matrix Reloaded for tedious exposition, but it's okay if you drift off, since Giles will repeat it again a couple of times anyway.
"Aim for the horsies" - Buffy Summers
The Weight of the World (5x21) **
There's a finale to get to, but first Willow has to snap Buffy out of her guilt-induced catatonia in overly repetitive scenes that aren't as insightful as some of the better peeks beneath the conscious mind the show's given us in the past. It's just annoying.
Apart from Dawn now being in Glory's clutches, it's as if nothing's happened in the last few episodes, as they're all back in the Magic Shop and Giles' life-threatening injuries have apparently completely healed overnight. It's a good job the next episode makes the effort to be fairly self-contained in its desire to draw in casual viewers, as the dialogue and flashbacks mean you don't have to do all this preliminary arc viewing if you just fancy watching 'The Gift' every once in a while.
"I think we already déjà d this vu" - Willow Rosenberg
The Gift (5x22) *****
As the season finale, the coincidental 100th episode and the last episode broadcast on the show's original network (which presumably meant something if you lived in America), this was either going to be an all-out triumph or a massive disappointment. After what's been quite the dawdling year, I was grateful it was the former.
Consistency was the name of the game in season five, which was sadly lacking in daft, stand-alone plots at the expense of the long arc, but all that gratuitous extra screen time given to Glory's ticking clock does make the final sacrifice feel a little more powerful, even if Buffy's death was never going to be permanent. It's not like it's the first time she's snuffed it.
It's also nice how they desperately chuck in as many artefacts from those few stand-alone episodes as they can to pull the whole year together, including the Buffy sex bot and the troll hammer, just to make loyal viewers feel like we're being rewarded for paying attention.
Everyone's given something to do, from Giles taking care of the dirty deeds the hero can't to Xander's wrecking ball, and as much as any rational person should be opposed to the prospect of Buffy and Spike even being friends, let alone anything more, you can't help feeling for his devastation at the end. Wow, that was one bleak year.
"The hardest thing is this world is to live in it" - Buffy Summers
Bargaining, Part 1 (6x01) ***
Reading that the show was originally planned to conclude with season five - and an even more devastating version of 'The Gift' - I'm already suspicious about these latter resurrection years, perhaps fearing an X-Files effect. That started to get awful at season six too.
My hopes weren't raised by the recycled introduction showing the Buffyless gang struggling but succeeding in keeping the vampire pests at bay. It's basically what happened at the start of season three, except that they've got a robot stand-in, Willow's ominously a lot more powerful these days and there are fewer males around. Giles bids a fond, belated farewell in an exit that's a major blow, but does at least make sense. At least they didn't kill him.
While the main story is the resurrection of Buffy - her corpse's reanimation is inevitable but impressively gruesome - they go old-school and inject a tale of nu-metal biker demons pillaging Sunnydale so there's an excuse for some action. Maybe things won't be so bad after all.
"Grr! Aargh!" - Tara Maclay
Bargaining, Part 2 (6x02) ***
Abandoned, reanimated Buffy digging out of her own grave is one of the classic images of the series. After all the fuss made over her sacrifice, you could call it a cop out, or just a heavy-handed metaphor for the show's cancellation on one network and revival on another, but it's not like she's over her trauma by the end of the episode. An experience like that will take at least half an episode longer to overcome.
Here's hoping for a little elongated grief at least - after Joyce's death, you can't go back to no consequences.
"Is this hell?" - Buffy Summers
After Life (6x03) ****
This is really a part three to Buffy's resurrection story, except this time the stand-alone plot's been replaced, with the pierced demon bikers making way for a much more genuinely terrifying DIY entity. Along with Joyce's aborted resurrection in 'Forever,' this is one of the only episodes that's actually scared me, which is a rare and enjoyable experience when you're bordering on 30. Until it started breathing fire, that was just silly.
Buffy's revelation that she was actually in heaven as opposed to the popular opinion (for some reason) of a hell dimension is a great, tragic touch, even if her confiding in Spike points towards an unhealthy direction. The consequences have barely begun.
"The thing about magic - there's always consequences. Always" - Spike
Flooded (6x04) **
Now the dangling cliffhanger plot's over with and Buffy's basically back to normal (unless the script prefers her to be depressed some weeks), it's time, as usual, to introduce our adversaries for the year. And they don't make the most intimidating impression, which is the point. Jonathan, Warren and the other guy they had to invent because the meddler from 'The Prom' wasn't available have teamed up and stolen some money, and now plan to take over Sunnydale - and subsequently destroy the Slayer - with the aid of gadgetry. Presumably they will become less inept and a genuine threat at some point.
Giles returns after receiving the news about Buffy and offers some much-needed adult perspective all-round to these characters who are all basically kids and unable to cope with the real world. He isn't in the opening titles any more though, so it looks like they're going to have to grow up some time.
"The magics I used are very powerful. I'm very powerful. And maybe it's not such a good idea for you to piss me off" - Willow Rosenberg
Life Serial (6x05) ***
The Trio prove they have what it takes to be a formidable threat - if they can only stop arguing over Bond and stop getting distracted by porn - as they take it in turns to interfere with Buffy's day in ways that they presumably didn't realise functioned as allegories. I don't know, they watch a lot of sci-fi, so maybe they did.
These three different instances taking place in Buffy's three attempts to find her path in life make for a disjointed episode that feels inappropriately whimsical, complete with a Hollywood family comedy soundtrack during Buffy's temporary time loop as that sub-genre finally makes its appearance. Now they need to do a musical episode or something, imagine that.
"Stop touching my magic bone!" - Jonathan Levinson
All the Way (6x06) **
The third, final and weakest of the biennial Halloween episodes, the main characters are deemed to be too mature or boring for Halloween parties now (even Giles has lost his festive enthusiasm this time round), so the burden's on Dawn to go out and fall in with a bad crowd, though she doesn't realise quite how bad.
This one's really most notable for showing Willow's over-reliance on and plain addiction to magic in day-to-day life, culminating in her erasing Tara's memories of being angry about that. The Trio don't show up in this one, but this darkness brewing in the Scooby House is much more menacing.
"Shiver me timbers" - Dawn Summers
Once More, with Feeling (6x07) ****
I'm really not a fan of musicals, and these songs are pretty annoying most of the time, but for effort and smart writing, Joss Whedon's all-singing, all-dancing spectacular is very impressive - especially for exploring the specific feelings and issues these characters are dealing with at this exact moment in their lives, so he can't have just been sitting on this for years.
Like the similar-but-diametrically-opposite 'Hush' and 'The Body' before it, this is a skillful blending of style and substance that's instantly one of the stand-out episodes of the whole series, even if it isn't up there with my personal favourites. I'm really not a fan of musicals.
#"They got the mustard out!" - Mustard Man
Tabula Rasa (6x08) ****
A better comedy episode than that confused time-meddling one, the characters losing their memories and identities is yet another cliche pulled from the bag of sci-fi/fantasy tricks, but true to form, this series manages to get something deeper out of it, as the issues melodiously exposed in the previous episode are dealt with here and certain characters move on.
The assumptions and inclinations of the amnesiac gang when guessing their backgrounds and attachments is revealing, and sometimes admittedly just for laughs, and the revelation that the whole thing has been down to Willow's meddling (again again) serves as the final straw for Tara. Giles leaves too - presumably for good this time - and Buffy and Spike start something sickening. As for the hesitant Xander and Anya, the clock has to be ticking there.
Since it's a comedy episode, they even just about get away with the antagonist being a literal loan shark. I've been enjoying the creative demon designs this season so far, but let's have fewer animal heads on human bodies going forward, can we?
"Bloody hell. Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh god, I'm English" - Spike
Smashed (6x09) ***
Giles is gone and the kids are running riot. They don't even confide in each other any more, as Buffy sinks to a new low with Spike while Willow and the de-rodented Amy get up to all sorts of unnatural mischief for their own amusement.
The Trio is back, and despite an appreciated and historically accurate Red Dwarf reference, they're still not pulling their weight as convincing villains with their fortnightly schemes, this time involving a freeze ray to steal a diamond they need to build something else, like Shredder tediously gathering bits and pieces for the Technodrome in season three of TMNT. Oh god, I belong with them.
"You came back wrong" - Spike
Wrecked (6x10) ***
How far can we push the magic/drugs allegory? Pretty far it seems, as Willow's addiction is fuelled by a dealer, she hangs out with fellow junkies and ends up with serious withdrawal. She almost goes beyond forgiveness when her reckless behaviour nearly gets Dawn killed, but she was high on magic at the time, so she gets another chance.
While this season has admittedly been a bit of a decline overall - in quality, interest and less tangible atmospheric properties - the loss of Giles has at least had a positive effect in Alyson Hannigan getting basically as much screen time as the lead now. It's been a long time coming, and I hope it lasts.
"It was like a meat party in my mouth... okay, now I'm just a kid and even I know that came out wrong" - Dawn Summers
Gone (6x11) *
If you were looking for a clear-cut jump-the-shark episode, this would be a fair call.
It's not like they haven't done invisibility before - that was way back in season one - but the uninspired comedy capers Buffy gets up to when she's accidentally cloaked by the Trio make for one dull episode, especially as Sarah Michelle Gellar sounds so bored in her dubbing that I never buy she's there in the room, however much the other actors try to convince with their spinning around and befuddled facial expressions.
I also didn't particularly relish the social services lady being fired for doing her job. She didn't even see half the reasons why Dawn should legitimately be taken away. Even the worst episodes generally have some form of silver lining though, and here that has to be the scene of Spike getting caught humping thin air and pretending he was just exercising.
"We're your arch nemesises... ses" - Warren Mears
Doublemeat Palace (6x12) **
Definitely one for the bottom drawer, but it's one of the less offensive comedy episodes of the year, and the red herring human meat conspiracy is fun. The first time you watch, anyway.
It has an early seasons vibe to it, but updated from high school to the working world as Buffy struggles to hold down a job at Doublemeat. You know, the famous fast food franchise?
Fictional or not, there are plenty of welcome stabs at the industry, but the whole thing's a little unfair on minimum wage employees. Maybe that's just how people talk in California, even the good guys.
"Levity is the time thief that picks the pocket of a company" - Gary Tilson
Dead Things (6x13) ***
As usual, a lightweight frolic is followed up with something heavy, as Buffy confronts her dark side and weird urges when she's not too busy indulging them violently with Spike. It's not clear to me whether I'm repulsed by their coupling because that's what I'm supposed to feel, because it's so abusive, or because I just really don't admire it as a plot direction.
Meanwhile, the Trio are back and finally prove themselves capable of murder, albeit only when it's by accident (it won't be the last time). Warren reaffirms how vile he is as he mind controls his ex to be their obedient sex slave, and Buffy and the gang finally take them seriously as a threat. If they're true to form, they'll wait until the last few episodes of the year to do anything about that.
"That's not your world. You belong in the shadows" - Spike
Older and Far Away (6x14) *
I gave this season a fair chance, suspecting it would have something of the past-its-prime quality about it, but this takes things to a new low. It may not be 'Beer Bad' bad, but at least that was funny in its atrociousness and upstanding morals. This story of the gang and assorted acquaintances being trapped in the Summers house for several days thanks to Dawn's uncautious use of words around a Vengeance Justice Demon is just dull.
Dawn is one of the least interesting characters now there's nothing supernatural about her any more, and exposing her kleptomania and feelings of estrangement don't really endear her to me any more. Willow's been stable on cold turkey for a while, Buffy and Spike still haven't developed a healthy relationship and Xander and Anya still haven't realised what a bad match they are. I miss Giles.
"We do not joke about eating people in this house" - Buffy Summers
As You Were (6x15) **
With only a season and a half's worth of episodes remaining, they waste time on another Riley episode to give the show's worst ever regular a 'better' exit a year after I hoped we'd seen the last of him.
All it serves is to further remind Buffy how much nicer everyone else's lives seem to be compared to her lot, finally pushing her to finish her unhealthy relationship with Spike - something that could have come about in endless other ways. If it does turn out to be just a temporary break, those sorrowful soundtrack strings are liars and shall never be trusted again.
"My hat has a cow" - Buffy Summers
Hell's Bells (6x16) **
It's Xander and Anya's wedding, or the lack thereof. While I'm not masochistic enough to take pleasure from seeing the soon-to-be-no-longer-ex-Vengeance Demon in despair, I am glad to see an end to their imperfectly perfect relationship. Anya was only really fun for a few episodes back in season four, and hopefully she's reached her nadir of annoying now - for the first time, I'm actually looking forward to her next appearance.
As the series' only wedding episode it gets a pass for indulging in all the gimmickry, but I preferred Xander's terrible dad as a foreboding silhouette rather than the real deal. The stuff with the supposed Future Xander offering his younger self insights into dark times ahead feels like a very minor plot point stuck in just to meet the body count quota.
"May the love we celebrate today avoid an almost inevitable decline" - D'Hoffryn
Normal Again (6x17) ****
This might have been one of my favourite episodes if I hadn't already seen the 'less insane delusion' trope done several times in other sci-fi series (Deep Space Nine, Red Dwarf, Farscape, et al), but as usual they put an interesting spin on it.
The audience is never really in doubt that Buffy's visions of a mental asylum are the real delusion, even as they keep things teasingly open-ended, but the real shock comes from her decision to actively pursue an escape, to the point of locking her friends and family in the basement and unleashing a deadly demon on them. We'll never know how much that decision was influenced by the disorienting Despair Squid ink or just the really shitty time she's gone through recently. Remember when she was dead for five months?
Like the musical episode, it feels they pulled this cliche out of the box at just the right point, when Buffy's life has fallen apart so greatly that escape would be an attractive prospect. I love how they even take jabs at the series' arguable decline in quality, with Buffy's 'doctor' pointing out how battling a trio of nerds is something of a downturn after the heights of previous adversaries. They even have their lead character describe the entire premise of the series as "ridiculous" at a time when they were desperate to hold on to viewers.
While it doesn't get top marks for originality, I feel it could have been even better if some other characters had been spiked too, so we'd get to see how Willow, Xander and Dawn would delude themselves into happiness. But that would lend a little less credibility to your stubbornly held position that the whole show (and the entirety of Angel by extension) does indeed take place in a troubled girl's broken mind.
"What, you think this isn't real just because of all the vampires and demons and ex-vengeance demons and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe-destroying energy?" - Xander Harris
Entropy (6x18) **
Anya gets her vengeance back on, but her efforts to elicit a loose-lipped vengeful wish from Xander's best friends prove frustrating, and when she seeks a solution in Spike it turns out differently than either expected. It's plain bad luck that this is the one secretive liaison between characters that ends up being broadcast to their friends and enemies.
"Things fall apart, they fall apart so hard" - Tara Maclay
Seeing Red (6x19) ****
You know how there's been a higher proportion of whimsical, light-hearted episodes this season? This is not one of them, and it's going to be a while before viewers can take comfort in another daft invisibility story or musical. It also might not reflect well on me that the darker the show gets, the more I'm into it
This isn't like the earlier shock death of Joyce. An awful lot of time is spent depicting Willow and Tara's blissfully happy rekindling, and everyone is so happy for them. She's even added to the opening credits just for malice's sake. Then Buffy pisses off the wrong psychopathic nerd by foiling his latest zany scheme and bullets haphazardly fly.
If that isn't enough to put a downer on your day, the rape scene might be even worse.
"Your shirt..." - Tara Maclay
Villains (6x20) ****
This might have been the weakest season yet overall, but this is a fantastic turnaround as the inept villains mess with the wrong recovering witch and this year's real villain is revealed. It's almost as if all that faffing around in earlier episodes was building to something. It's a shame this has to come at the cost of Tara (I guess?), but it was worth it.
We are the morbid audience to Warren's desperate efforts to flee as he tries all the tricks in the book, from robot duplicates to sci-fi weapons and spells, but he's just delaying the inevitable. I didn't expect the inevitable to be quite so gruesome, but when your most sympathetic character turns to the dark side (for a while), you want to get your value.
"Bored now" - Willow Rosenberg
Two to Go (6x21) *****
Not only is Evil Willow a sadistic murderer, but she's a total meanie too, throwing insults at Dawnie and everyone else who crosses her path before the moment we're always waiting for in episodes like this - the showdown with Buffy. One that the Slayer almost loses, if it wasn't for the timely intervention of the most welcome deus ex machina ever.
"She's a truck-driving magic mama" - Andrew Wells
Grave (6x22) ***
The pay-off doesn't live up to the build-up this time. As touching and different as it is for Xander to save the day using the power of friendship, most of the good stuff is over by the time Willow departs the trashed Magic Box. I guess they won't be needing those sets next year then.
It's fantastic to have Giles back, whose absence was really felt this year, but it would have been nice to have a little more stuffy, paternal condescension and less of the throwing Dragonballs around.
Things are left feeling uncharacteristically positive at the end of the year, with Buffy promising to be less over-protective of her sister and Spike's soul being restored. Tara's still dead I suppose, and Willow's in dire need of some counselling, but compared to how things were for most of the season, it feels like they're stepping into the light for the final year. Hopefully they'll persuade Giles to stick around for a little while.
"You're always saving everyone. It's kinda pesky" - Willow Rosenberg
Lessons (7x01) ***
There's a celebratory, final-season vibe in the air that's nice for persevering fans but would be pretty alienating to first-time viewers. Your journey really shouldn't start here.
Dawn's transition to a Buffy stand-in is complete as she undertakes her first graveyard training sessions and enrols at the unwisely rebuilt Sunnydale High, which is still full of vengeful ghosts and still built on a simmering Hellmouth. It's a shame they didn't put in that little bit of extra effort to bring back actual characters who died in the early seasons, rather than these generically dead students. After all, they treated us to that satisfying parade of former villains at the end.
Meanwhile, Willow's learning to be a good witch in England and Spike's soul seems to have gone a bit wrong.
"The next few months are going to be quite a ride" - The Master
Beneath You (7x02) ***
"Something's coming" and Buffy's having visions of dead girls. They're starting earlier than usual with this year's overarching evil, but you're going to have to be a bit more specific.
This is pretty much the second half to the previous episode, as the dynamic is gradually re-established for the new year. Spike's dusty old soul has apparently made him insane; Willow's heading back to Sunnydale to face the music; Xander misses sex; Anya learns she doesn't have what it takes to be a truly threatening frienemy; and Buffy starts her suspiciously unclear job at the high school that definitely isn't some sort of trap.
"From beneath you it devours" - Spike
Same Time, Same Place (7x03) ****
Willow arrives back in Sunnydale... or does she? Yes, obviously, she's there, but also out of phase with the precise three people she was worried about seeing. It's a welcome change for the show to give us an original sci-fi concept rather than lifting one wholesale from Star Trek (it could always just be stolen from some obscure short story or something), and they tease out the mystery without being patronising, since it's obvious something's up as soon as the first carefully choreographed scene repeats itself.
Our first one-off baddie of the season is a repulsive and creepy troll-looking, paralysing, skin-eating demon that dines on more than you'd expect of Willow before she's saved slightly after the nick of time has passed. Whatever your feelings are about her rehabilitation, let's agree that was penance enough.
"It's smellementary" - Dawn Summers
Help (7x04) *
It's the final year, but there's apparently still time to focus on inconsequential one-shot characters with nothing more to offer than uselessly vague forebodings. We don't learn anything new about the established characters, specific ideas and scenes are rehashed from earlier episodes and there isn't even any teasing arc stuff to bookend things. This is the most disposable episode for a while.
"Do you know how lame this is?" - Buffy Summers
Selfless (7x05) ***
It's time to deal with the Anya problem, in what will likely be the last notable episode for the show's most disposable 'regular.' When Anyanka's vengeance gets out of hand, Buffy puts duty above questionable friendship and decides the world/series would be better off without her, while Xander and Willow make the case for the defence.
For once, I don't think there's a clumsy real-world message in there, unless you're really good friends with a serial killer or something.
"This is getting to be a pattern with you, Buffy. Are there any friends of yours left you haven't tried to kill?" - Anya
Him (7x06) **
Another lame throwback episode, this time rehashing love spells in spirit if not in material - the revelation of the actual source is one of the dumbest things the show's ever done - with more callbacks to Buffy's brief cheerleading phase and forced attempts at comedy from a show that used to be effortlessly funny.
The inevitable late period downturn really began last year, but it's getting steadily worse. I'm good for zany-escapade-of-the-week for a while, can I have some arc now, please?
"You fell for an ancient, mystical curse. Who hasn't made that mistake seven, eight times?" - Xander Harris
Conversations with Dead People (7x07) ****
The annual artsy episode, this is no 'Once More, with Feeling,' 'The Body' or 'Hush' but it's a cut above your average installment. Especially in this lacklustre season.
It turns out it's not just crazy Spike who's seeing dead people walking around like regular people, and there are more excused cameos from the past as Willow talks to "Tara" through the random dead girl from a couple of episodes previous (I guess Amber Benson wasn't available), the returning Andrew and Jonathan are accompanied by an unflayed "Warren," and Dawn protects her mother's spirit from a poltergeist... or something like that. That part wasn't completely clear, but for creepy atmosphere it's up there with the best in the series.
Elsewhere in town, Buffy has a long, conspicuously Joss-Whedon-scripted talk (he didn't write the other scenes) with a psychoanalytical vampire while Spike continues to surprise. A chaotic character from start to finish, that one - I can't tell if it's all been a masterplan or they just really don't know what to do with him.
This is an ambiently arcy episode, but more details are going to be needed before we understand what's really going on. Unless you happened to watch 'Amends' from back in season three recently and spotted some similarities.
"It eats you, starting with your bottom" - Andrew Wells
Sleeper (7x08) ***
We've gone from "something's coming" to "something's here," though what something is exactly will have to wait til another day, there's a mandatory episode count to fill.
In the aftermath of everyone's big night, Buffy sets out to learn whether Spike has truly been killing people and we learn he was only doing it when under the influence, so that's all excused then because there are no dangerous, real-world parallels or anything. Who's the next friend Buffy gets to violently tumble with? That's Willow, Anya and Spike in the course of 10 episodes, and if you want to count tying up Dawn and Xander in the basement when she went crazy for a while, she's got the full set.
It's decent as in-betweeny episodes go, then it pulls the cheap shot of a shock ending that comes out of nowhere as a desperate effort to keep us hooked. It worked, you complete bastards.
"This big evil that's been threatening to devour us, well I think it's started chomping" - Willow Rosenberg
Never Leave Me (7x09) ***
The "previously on..." segments are pushing two minutes now, so you know things are getting serious.
Buffy finally clocks the identity of the evil, Spike is denied a merciful death and the eternally inept Andrew becomes the latest reluctant member of the gang in a less charming way than Spike's conscription in season four.
After that tense cliffhanger, we don't get to learn what happened to Giles.
"We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls" - Quentin Travers, shortly before exploding
Bring on the Night (7x10) ***
Giles apparently didn't die when an expert assassin swung an axe at his head, and he inexplicably shows up in Sunnydale with a bunch of potential Vampire Slayers to help wage the last stand against the First. He's helpfully full of exposition as usual, and whatever we don't learn in arguably too much detail here will be filled in over the course of the next few, because we need to get it straight in the fan wikis.
The concept of the Potential Slayers is the first bright spark the show's had in a while, even if it has the unfortunate effect of crowding out the cast and letting us see a little less of the main players in their final days.
Another satisfying turnaround is Buffy deciding to take the offensive and bring about the apocalypse on her own terms rather than waiting around for episode 22 of the year as usual, though I've got a weird feeling things will end up being similarly padded and drawn-out this year. Compared to her moping over the last year and a half though, it's a welcome change of direction, even if it means we have to endure some OTT motivational speeches.
"I'm sorry to barge in. I'm afraid we have a slight apocalypse" - Rupert Giles
Showtime (7x11) ***
The Summers house is getting crowded with disposable teens, who are all American or unconvincingly British for some reason. Maybe there's still a bunch of them waiting patiently at airports in Africa and the Middle East? Some are more optimistic than others, and some of those others are really the First in a cunning disguise, but it's a bit late in the game for me to care about new characters now, especially as it's all but guaranteed that most of them will die in the next 11 episodes.
Buffy proves that her rallying pep talks are more than just slogans as she dusts Nosferatu and clears a path to Spike. Despite all the grim forebodings of the end times, this arc is managing to be more upbeat than they usually are. I'm mainly glad that they seem to be done with the retro high school hi-jinks now.
"I'm the thing that monsters have nightmares about" - Buffy Summers
Potential (7x12) **
Was there a lot of weird editing and continuity oversights in this one, or was I just tired? Either way, one of the Potentials is inexplicably missing, though Giles' absence is later explained as a Potential pick-up in China. Still, his absence rarely helps.
Dawn feels left out amidst all the 'important' teenagers, but after a brief mix-up over the identity of the latest Potential Slayer, the ex-apocalyptic-energy-being bonds with Xander over being the "normal" ones. His pep talk is more moving than all of Buffy's tedious training manual recitations to her flock.
Can Andrew die soon, please?
"I like the feel of wood in my hand" - Rona
The Killer in Me (7x13) ***
There's quite a jumble of plots in this one, but as we're getting perilously close to the end, I'll take any random escapades they want to throw into the mix.
The Slayers-in-waiting go on a vision quest with Giles, whose identity as a possible dead man walking is finally raised. That would have been a bold but upsetting direction to go in, but it's wrapped up rather quickly.
Spike's chip starts screwing up, so Buffy calls in the assistance of the Initiative to have it finally removed. Cross off another couple of dangling plot threads there.
Meanwhile, Willow deals with demons of a more metaphorical nature as she kisses another girl and transforms into the man she killed. Even with the shape-shifting First Evil around, they're using any excuse to bring back characters now. Amy makes a final appearance too, but considering how non-reformed she is, you're going to have to leave that thread unclipped. They need to leave a few villains for the comics.
"You think I'm evil if I bring a group of girls on a camping trip and don't touch them?" - Rupert Giles
First Date (7x14) ****
The series finally makes amends for the lack of racial diversity in its core cast (apart from Forrest in season four, but he was basically Riley's shoulder devil) by introducing a Chinese Potential Slayer (whom no one can understand, ROFL) and bringing Principal Wood into the fold (before then making him a threat to one of our heroes and making two of the only black characters in the show's mythos related). It's a start.
In a satisfying lack of character development, established demon magnet Xander still can't go on a date that doesn't end with his imminent sacrifice. But mainly, I was delighted to see the return of Giles' troublingly enthusiastic "flash cards." I can imagine him looking over his work and then popping the cap of the red marker because he's decided it needs a bit more.
"You can't beat evil by doing evil" - Buffy Summers
Get It Done (7x15) ***
Like all character arcs in this show, Robin Wood's vengeance on Spike for killing his Slayer mother will be left to brew for a while. Two more entire episodes, to be precise.
Instead, we get a bit of a weird one where Buffy goes into full-on merciless drill sergeant mode and learns the origin story of the first Slayer and the original Watchers, in scenes that reminded me of that unnecessary prologue towards the end of Lost that spent precious dwindling runtime filling us in on stuff we didn't really need to know.
The final scene, in which Buffy receives a disturbing prophetic vision of an army of primitive CGI vampires, won't have looked any more convincing in 2003. We'd already had Lord of the Rings by then.
"Nothing like the end of the world to bring people together" - Robin Wood
Storyteller (7x16) **
I normally have a lot of time and enthusiasm for their experimental episodes, but this is the weakest of the bunch. Mainly for largely being about Andrew, who's the character I would least mind seeing die horrifically at this point. Stop picking on the expendable Potentials.
The Hellmouth getting jittery means we get a brief reprise of plots from early episodes as a bunch of paranormal activity happens all at once to various students, before things become all about Andrew's pathetic redemption instead. The only good thing he does is to justifiably criticise Buffy's motivational speeches for having a tendency to drag.
"Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?" - Anya
Lies My Parents Told Me (7x17) ****
Spike's treated to a second flashback episode - he's worth it - that's fairly similar to his first one back in season five, but it teaches us a little more about just why he became so mental. I've found it a little hard to see the distinction between the new, soulful Spike and the fair-weather ally from the previous year and a half, but touches like this help to make it a little clearer.
The bad blood between Spike and the man he orphaned is dealt with, and it seems Spike's no longer the First's bitch any more either, so that's a few more plot threads dealt with. Just the impending armageddon to be getting on with now.
"Oh, don't deceive me, Oh never leave me.
How could you use a poor maiden so?" - 'Early One Morning'
Dirty Girls (7x18) ****
We're on the home stretch now, with the belated addition of Faith to the Slayer ranks - she apparently reformed at some point over on that other show - and the introduction of Nathan Fillion's horrific preacher Caleb.
The First's willing disciple and enthusiastic dirty girl murderer is a welcome addition to the mythos in its final days, and manages to be more threatening and repulsive than the primordial vampires and personifications of evil they've been relying on for frights so far.
"Are you the bad Slayer now...? Am I the good Slayer now?" - Faith Lehane
Empty Places (7x19) ***
The population of Sunnydale embarks on a mass exodus away from the raging Hellmouth, arguably a few years too late, while the unmanageable cast of characters almost unanimously lose their confidence in Buffy after her latest mission got a couple of them killed and cost Xander his eye (which is obviously much more important considering the dead girls barely get a mention).
Buffy's new-found confidence was obviously too good to last, and the show delights in beating her down yet again as she's even exiled from her house by her own sister. Just when they ramp up my excitement for this final batch of apocalyptic episodes, they go and throw in a downer.
"You'd think these people had never seen an apocalypse before" - Buffy Summers
Touched (7x20) **
You'd think we weren't rapidly approaching the series finale as this threenultimate installment takes time out to let various characters get it on. That's pretty much all that happens before a ticking bomb cliffhanger comes out of absolutely nowhere.
"I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that" - Spike
End of Days (7x21) ***
We've been told for a while that things are looking pretty hopeless for the good guys, but the appearance of a mystical scythe-in-the-stone and Buffy's guardian angel are just the last-minute gimmicks needed to make the fairy tale victory inevitable.
What impressed me most is that they finally managed to sell me on the Buffy/Spike relationship, when the two share a touching scene together as opposed to their traditional violent intercourse. He'll always be her number two, as the final scene reiterates, but when being with your true love means unleashing a merciless demon on the world, settling for second best is an acceptable alternative.
"Ooh, Jaffa Cakes" - Rupert Giles
Chosen (7x22) ****
I tried not to set my hopes too high for the big finale, and consequently this was pretty good. Though some of the retro callbacks felt very forced, and the big battle scene looked and sounded more like something from The Lord of the Rings. Those films were quite popular at the time.
Venturing into the Hellmouth is a plot development that's been coming for 144 episodes, even if it just adds to the numerous lax continuity issues in this send-off. (Didn't it used to be a big hole? Wasn't it literally a beast with several chomping mouths? And what's going on with those uber-vampires being easy to dispatch all of a sudden?)
The day is saved by a couple of quick, mystical fixes, and some of the notable character deaths feel like they're there for gratuity's sake. Right, now I've got the bitching out of the way, on to what I really liked: Buffy sticking it to the ancient patriarchy and breaking the arbitrary rules that have governed this show since day one.
Unlike many onanistic finales, this one sparks the imagination and leaves you contemplating the big changes that their whole world is going to have to deal with, now you don't get the chance to spend time with its inhabitants any more. Unless you watched Angel, which continued for another year. Or read the comics they brought out after a while. Give me a break, I'm a bit Whedoned out.
"That was nifty!" - Willow Rosenberg
Top 10 Buffy episodes
I've had an on/off relationship with this landmark series. Actually, the love was only ever on for a relatively brief period between learning it wasn't just a dumb teen show late in the game (season four/five, followed by comprehensive backtracking) and then being gradually turned off by the general downturn following the lead character's second death and resurrection. Still, that was a good couple of years while it lasted.
I hadn't watched a single episode in the little-over-a-decade since the first time around, despite knowing that some of the best TV ever was scattered around in there at various points. I guess I knew that if I dipped in, I'd be sucked in for the long haul, and I resisted cracking it open for a long while - maybe due to a combination of some of it being too intimidatingly good to dare write about and some of it being downright embarrassing.
I'm glad I did. It's been a good couple of months. Mainly. These were some of the highlights:
#1. Innocence (2x14)
There seems to be quite a vocal campaign for this being the official Best Episode Ever, including Joss Whedon himself apparently. Season two was undoubtedly the show at is peak, at least arc-wise (some of the one-offs in-between were pretty horrendous), and turning Angel bad right after he takes Buffy's virginity was the finest of the show's often awkward supernatural/real-life analogies.#2. Restless (4x22)
Joss Whedon's prog rock epilogue to a patchy season ditches everything that was wrong with that year, goes back to the core characters, sows cryptic seeds for the future and is even madder than Twin Peaks. As much as I loved all of these episodes, this is the only one I feel like watching again already.#3. Hush (4x10)
Another experimental one and the other popular entry from season four (don't worry, I'll get controversial later), the largely silent 'Hush' was the episode that convinced me this series was worth giving a chance when my brother showed it to me. I liked Giles' splatterrific diagrams and the masturbation joke particularly.
Buffy brings an end to Angel's reign of terror in this definitively tragic and brutal finale, which also does a surprising amount of work in setting up future seasons, not least Spike's turnaround from vicious adversary to fairweather ally.
#5. The Gift (5x22)
The conclusion to the absolutely-all-year-long saga of 'The Key' was a bloody long time in the set-up but at least gets a satisfying pay-off. Try to leave at least a couple of weeks before you move on to season six so Buffy's immediate resurrection doesn't dampen the impact of her heroic sacrifice too much.#6. Two to Go (6x21)
A rare case for this show of the build-up being a bit better than the denouement, I found the full display of Dark Willow's abilities and hostility here more gripping than the follow-up, in which Xander talks her down with a moving story about a crayon. The cliffhanger of Giles' triumphal return almost excuses his absence for most of the year.
I'm unapologetically a sucker for Angel's rampage of evil, the more needlessly, relentlessly cruel the better. This ticks those boxes as Angel kills Giles' girlfriend and then goes to extraordinary effort to set up a twisted multi-sensory exhibit just to rub it in the librarian's sad face. We'd heard how sick Angelus could be, and this episode made those folk tales completely credible.
I'm surprised there isn't more of season three on this list, which might be my second favourite after season two, but that's what you get when you aim for consistency rather than flashes of brilliance among a sea of turds, as previous and subsequent years favoured. This is the pick of the bunch, a rare Xander episode where his identity crisis takes centre stage as the latest apocalypse goes on in the background.
#9. Who Are You (4x16)
This series dipped liberally and often into the bag of sci-fi plot gimmicks, but its two-part take on the body swap was one of its more successful efforts. Faith learns the power of goodness by spending time in Buffy's skin, which means Sarah Michelle Gellar gets to act the bitch.No, I'm not picking 'The Body' - that's certainly one of the most memorable and noteworthy episodes the show produced, and I admire it, but it's not what I watch this show for. This follow-up is more traditional fare, and Dawn's attempt to resurrect her dead mother makes for one of the show's most terrifying moments.Top 7 Buffy seasons
#1. Season 2 (76 stars)
#2. Season 3 (73)
#3. Season 5 (72)
#4. Season 4 (68)
#5. Season 7 (66)
#6. Season 6 (64)
#7. Season 1 (37)
Buffy seasons alternated between fairly consistent quality (3, 5 & 7) and erratic highs and lows (1-2, 4 & 6).
No fiddling was needed to get the order I already figured was correct. Season two has some really rubbish episodes, but it's basically the definitive year.
