You really can't win sometimes. I was under the mistaken impression that by travelling to different countries, paying my way and cleaning up after myself, I wasn't contributing to the meltdown of the global economy and clanging the death knell of Western civilisation. But there are people who are prepared to take issue with anything, and when you're dealing with someone as indefatigably moral, upstanding and all-round ace as me, you do have to dig deep to find the bad stuff... oh hang on, that sentence alone has proven you don't.
I've been criticised as a dropout and a deserter for leaving my home country behind for so long. It's an overly antagonistic but otherwise accurate assessment - I didn't feel like living in the UK any more, and I had the means to leave, so I left. They don't make it all that difficult to escape, to be honest. But desertion didn't seem to be the main problem - it's that I'm still going and haven't settled down somewhere and got a real job. Again, I didn't feel like setting down and having a real job again, and I had the means not to, so I didn't. This really riles some people up.
By floating aimlessly and carefree (not entirely carefree, as blogs like this prove), I'm apparently not 'doing my bit,' 'giving something back' or 'some other platitude that I feel the need to put in inverted commas.' Like I'm a hedonist raping the world of its resources to satisfy my insatiable appetite and doing more harm than good. I just don't see what I've done wrong.
Reasons I am clearly amazing
Dave lives the ex-pat high life
(Pot Noodles are socially acceptable in many Asian countries)
I grudgingly support my country's economy like any other worker. I paid a tax bill of more than £5,000 in January, so it's not like I'm not 'chipping in.' Since turning 18, I've put more into The Economy than I've taken out - by my reckoning, I've had about seven months on the dole in total (the basic £45 Jobseeker's allowance which didn't cover my outgoings - I wasn't entitled to housing benefit because my landlord was dodgy and I technically didn't live there), and I got a grant to cover my University tuition fees (about £3,500 total - the rest of my living expenses I had to take out a loan for like everyone else, which I've now paid back in full as I can't stand debt). I never needed the services of the NHS, but I used libraries all the time.
So while I may not be supporting The Economy by handing over cash every month to a racist Edinburgh landlord any more, or shopping at an American-owned supermarket, my everyday expenses are going to corporations and private businesses in foreign countries instead. In my naive and probably overly optimistic world view... that's fine, isn't it? Do you really take issue with me using my wage from a UK-based digital marketing agency and redistributing it to buy my daily bread in Asia? (Not literally - they're not so into bread over here. By my reckoning, my sandwich consumption has fallen by over 8,000% since I left Europe). I know there is great compassion for Britain's home-grown digital marketing industry, with all the valuable work they do towards making your Google search results slightly less reliable. There isn't time to debate the ethics of my job here: basically, it loses.
I haven't taken any money from any country I've visited. I'm not one of those backpackers who leaves a hostel covered in beer, sick and semen, partly because I'm not interesting enough, but also because I'm respectful, and dispose of my beer, sick and semen in a responsible manner. By my reckoning, the worst thing I've done is when I travelled to Hualien on Taiwan's east coast and didn't realise it was back to the rural plumbing that can't tolerate toilet paper. There was a polite but clearly aggrieved note left on the door later that day, which was clearly directed at me as I was the only person staying in the creepily desolate building. I'm very sorry, I learnt my lesson.
So what are you going to do about it?
I've been characterised as a lazy, thoughtless hobo, which seems a bit unfair (apart from the hobo part). I don't know what I could do to satisfy these people - if I settled down in a country and got a job as a teacher, I could be criticised for taking advantage of a system that favours foreign workers over nationals, or participating in the Anglicisation of the globe and erosion of other cultures. I've also been accused of being in countries like Korea just because I'm after their women, which is obviously totally partly ridiculous.
If I turned tail and ran back to the UK, people might wonder what I had against Asia, or those other parts of the world I haven't been to yet. Needed home comforts after all, did you? Ha ha, I knew you'd come crawling back, you bastard. Swanning off to see the world instead of being happy to sit behind a desk and listen to the false sincerity of business twats - now you're back with the rest of us, and you can learn to hate life all over again. Let's make sure the shackles are fitted correctly this time, those unpleasantly skinny wrists won't save you again.
Some people seem resentful of my 'lucky' situation. I don't think I'm lucky, and I don't just mean from a sceptical viewpoint. There are certain points in my life when random chance has operated in my favour, from the impossible unlikelihood of my birth to popping out in a country and a time in which freelance writing was a viable career option, and some of the friends I've made have helped me find my way to this career too. But scramble the variables and take a peek into the Omniverse and I'm pretty sure most of the alternative Daves-that-could-have-been would have ended up being similarly content in whatever they ended up doing - travelling overseas or just moving house every few months, always in the pursuit of freedom.
But some people will always find something to criticise, even in the parallel universe where I'm the Eternal God Emperor of Space-Time. At least there I can watch them shriek their repentance as they plunge into the fires of Azeroth. How can you be sure we're not in that reality now? Basically, watch yourself. I should also point out that I've never felt hostility from local people in countries I visit, only people stuck at home who are probably less content with their situation and take it out on me.
I still let dickheads get to me, but I'm content and confident enough in myself these days that they just make me depressed about humanity more than anything, the same way I never let myself scroll down when watching even the most innocuous YouTube video because it's too early in the day for anti-Semitism. Letting it out in self-aggrandising blog form does make me feel better. This life works for me - find one that works for you and get down out of my grill, or something.
