Kyoto-tal recall

If Tokyo was a sci-fi utopia (let's face it, it practically is), its jumbled anagram namesake Kyoto would be the evil dystopian twin. But once you've spent some time walking between pleasant temples and gardens on this city's convenient grid layout, you realise it's sprawling Tokyo that's the evil, unhinged one. The used schoolgirl panties vending machines should have been a hint, really.

But evil is always a lot more fun, so Kyoto unfortunately seems a little boring by comparison. I hope you like temples and things.

Kyoto
(京都)

Nijō Castle. I would have paid the slightly steep entry fee, if signs, cranes and tarpaulin didn't give the impression that most of it was off limits, presumably now the cherry blossom tourism explosion is over.

Sorry I missed that. I caught the early plum blossoms, if that's any consolation

Imperial Palace. Apparently you need to arrange tours in advance, if you hope to see past these walls. So I don't have much to show you here either

At least the palace grounds looked nice. Even if the leaves are all boring, chloroplast green

ALRIGHT, HAPPY NOW???

Kyoto Tower. I really don't need to go up another modestly tall building to take some disappointing aerial shots of concrete oblongs

Founders Hall of Higashi Hongan-ji, which claims to be the largest wooden structure in the world (along with a few others)

Their unsubstantiated word is good enough for me

More urban escapism at Yoshida Hill. I remembered to bring my camera this time

Even the trees are under construction

Potatornado: traditional Japanese cuisine. But I don't need to tell you that - every lazy, cliched Western TV series depicts Japanese people chowing down on these, right?

Go-ou shrine, where some warrior fought a hog, or made friends with a hog or ate a hog or something. There was a hog involved anyway

Wait a second, that looks familiar... oh Jesus, we've got to get out of here--

クソ!!!

(If you aren't a male born in the 1980s, that probably doesn't mean very much to you)