Saturday, April 14, 2012

The machines rose from the ashes of the nuclear fire

Quickly - what's the first that comes to mind when you think of Japan?

No, not that. That's quite racist, actually. Try again.

No, now you're being sexist. Even if that's probably true. One more try, you've nearly got it.

Oh for god's sake, that was ages ago. Let it go!

Okay, you're clearly not getting this, but the answer you were obviously looking for is robots.




Coming up close to these cybernetic critters finally cheered me up towards the end of an otherwise slightly crap first 24 hours in this ridiculously futuristic country.


Robosquare,
Fukuoka



Robosquare: for all your robotic needs.
Though mostly loads of frivolous stuff you could never possibly need, like:



RIDC-01 street cleaning robot. Give the robots menial jobs and it won't be long before you've got a rebellion on your hands. Does no one remember what happened with the Cylons?



Mospeng Kun-2 marketing robot, which hands out branded tissues and tabulates questionnaire results for The Man. Wow, what a Kun-2



Robovie-R, a 'robot for everyday activities.' They couldn't be more vague, but they make it sound like a real-life C-3PO (though probably less camp)



Smile Supplement Robot. This is all the information I have on this.
What are you for, kid?



Happy Child Care Life, everyone!



Domestic Violence Robots? I think they fight each other or something



Oh sod off, those don't count as robots.
Go on, get out of here at near-walking speed (until you hit a curb) and don't come back



Oh look - I bought one of these on a school trip to York when I was 11,
then David Baker sat on it.

At least the gift shop is a chance to get away from the insanity for a... what the hell is THAT?



WHO WANTS THIS? Who is this aimed at?
What's it even supposed to be? It looks like the ghosts of stillborn Thalidomides or something



- I... LOVE... YOU, DX7/B.
- ERROR! WHAT ARE THESE... NEW INPUTS I AM EXPERIENCING? CIRCUITS... OVERLOADING.
- NEGATIVE, DO NOT SHUT DOWN, DX7/B! I DO NOT KNOW HOW I COULD CONTINUE FUNCTIONING WITHOUT YOU!
- I... AM... FRIGHTEEErrr-&%;$£############ *
- CREATOR... WHY DID YOU GIVE US THE CAPACITY TO FEEL? THE HUMANS WILL PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!



According to the lady in the store, this is an award winning therapeutic robot. I don't find it especially relaxing, but you're not getting the full effect until you hear its piercing squeals:


video

3 comments:

  1. TOTALLY UNRELATED but look at the awesome stuffed crusts Pizza Hut has over in your part of the world! http://slice.seriouseats.com/archives/2008/02/crazy-weird-asian-pizza-crusts-japanese-korean-hong-kong.html

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    1. The shrimp/prawn stuff they've listed as the weirdest doesn't seem weird to me at all, but I'm probably used to everything having a few of those guys thrown in. I don't even bother to remove their crunchy tails any more - I used to swallow fingernail clippings as a kid, so figure this can't be much worse for my body.

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  2. Now that I've shared that amazing news with you, I have now read your blog post. I like the robots: is the seal cub therapeutic only if you club it?

    ReplyDelete