Tuesday, March 27, 2012

A childish day out again again again again again again (again)

If you're a white person, you might find it difficult to tell the age of people from East Asian countries, with their clear skin, cherubic complexions and more conservative style of dress compared to the wrinkled, sagging monstrosities you get back home.

I've met a lot of Koreans recently, who not only looked young, but bloody were, thanks to the Korean government offering extremely discounted rail travel to encourage foetuses to explore their country during study breaks. After a year and a half spent mostly in hostels where I usually represent the mean age, it was a bit of a shock to realise none of the people around me were even a glint in their father's cōleī when I was already at the height of my writing career. To rub it in, one person I met was even called 'Im So-young,' which is like a poor quality racist joke that actually happened.

If you're looking for ways to feel like a strange old man, I strongly advise hanging out with people seven years your junior. At least in Korea you have the advantage that age is counted differently than in Western countries, so when someone tells you they're 21 you can pretend they're actually 21 (and just on the border of socially acceptable), and not actually 19. If the alternative is spending my time with racist, out-of-work English teachers my own age, I'll take the local kids every time.

Lotte World

Going to Lotte World was inevitable, and I was excited about visiting THE WORLD'S LARGEST (indoor) THEME PARK.

Though not all of it's indoors, and heading outside you can actually find some surprisingly good rides, rather than just nostalgic kid's stuff. Though saying that, I thoroughly enjoyed the animatronic Adventures of Sindbad ride, which had more decaying skeletons than the lacklustre haunted houses combined.

That logo looks kind of familiar. I can't put my finger on it...

This too. It's probably coincidence.
The owners of this place probably haven't even heard of Disney

Gyro Drop is like the reverse of Singapore's G-Max, so I'm finally balanced out

Titty pirate ship

That kid's enjoying the carousel a bit more than Dave

- Let's go ice skating!
- Let's not. Considering I can't even walk up a lighthouse without doing in m--
- 아가리 닥쳐 ABOUT YOUR 씨발 ANKLE! 병신아.

Seodaemun Museum of Natural History
(서대문 자연사박물관)

This museum tucked up on a hill in one of the rare voids not covered by the Seoul metro nexus almost wins the prize for least accessible museum I've visited so far - the Siriraj Forensic Museum in Bangkok still beats it for not even being open when I finally made it there.

It was great to hang out with dinosaurs and more dead stuff than I've seen in one location since Siem Reap's Killing Fields memorial. I didn't even mind that I was the only person of adult age not accompanied by children. I've long since accepted that I'm simultaneously much younger and much older than my actual age, with nothing in-between.

Dead Tyrannosaurus Rex

Dead Triceratops

Dead Stegosaurus

Dead Pachycephalosauruses

Dead elephant and alive child

Dead bat

Dead, scary owls

Dead, cute ducks. Aww. THEY'RE DEAD.

More dead stuff

The evolution of man

The evolution of manhood (it's what you were looking at anyway)

You are here (I was there)

The dinosaur park was closed. OUTRAGEOUS!

Awful 'art' in the art gallery. Is that hideously malformed creature chomping the grass, or is that Exorcist-style vomit? And learn perspective already! 28 years old he was

I was impressed by the accuracy of these exhibits - not only did they have Troodons (which any seven-year-old knows are clearly superior to over-rated Velociraptors), but they also incorporate the feathers that therapods had. Accept it! I don't care if it spoils your childhood

The gift shop dinos were somewhat less realistic

I didn't slide down this and anyone who says I did is lying.
I am 28 years old (Korean age)


  1. Awesome shots you have there dave! If you didn't know this, the carousel area and many other locations at Lotte World used to be famous spots for the production of a famous korean movie called 'Stairway to Heaven'. It was a great hit at that time!

    1. I didn't know that, but it seems like EVERYWHERE in Korea featured in a TV drama or movie. Every time I visited a historical site, there were posters featuring good-looking actors in old-style Hanbok clothing. Maybe the history alone isn't enough of a reason for people to visit?

      Nice to hear from you! Another person who's a lot younger than me... it's sort of a trend.