Thursday, January 20, 2011

Alien City

I knew it! What have I been saying all along? And to think I spent all those years mocking David Icke for his crackpot theories that aliens were among us here on Earth, just because he lacked evidence or true facts.

Here's all the evidence you need that the Taiwanese people are from another planet (or at least the ones in Hualien City). Or I might be making too much of a slightly vandalised sign.

Realistic aliens land in Zonta Rose Garden, like something from War of the Worlds

Realistic alien craft spotted in Fisherman's Wharf, Kaohsiung

Dragon symbolism is everywhere! According to David Icke, our fear of reptiles isn't an instinctive survival technique against creatures that could kill us (or just fall over), but is a race memory of our ancestors' subjugation by the evil fourth-dimensional shape-shifting Reptilians from Draco who still secretly control our planet today.

Our secret Reptilian overlords who commission statues representing their secret, true forms for all to see… almost makes no sense when you think about it for more than a nanosecond, doesn't it?

As for the symbolism here... Taiwan is bloody weird

Poodle grooming centres like this one cannot possibly be the product of the human race.
If they are, hand over the Doomsday controls and I'll put us out of our misery

Are we actually allowed to make billboards like this any more?
I don't know if I'm complaining or pleased, it's a moral grey area. Like eugenics and Gaza

Self-aware book chair, like something out of a poorly translated Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I had a sit (I like books)

In the end, the aliens were wiped out by the one thing they didn't have an immunity to: the common cold.

Or at least they would have been, if everyone in Taiwan wasn't so bloody polite and wore face masks to avoid passing on their germs. So now I'm blogging from inside an alien prison craft en route to Rigel VII where I'll live out my days as a Princess Leia-style sex slave to some octopus-faced guy. THANKS A LOT, TAIWAN.



  1. you idiot it's not Thailand it's Taiwan you freak. I'm from Taiwan so I know it!

  2. I know it's in Taiwan, I was there when I took the photos. That's why the tags say Hualien, Kaohsiung and Taiwan.

    The blog tirle changes when I move to a new country, and I'm currently in Thailand.

    Thanks for reading!