As a '90s sci-fi snob too young for the old series to have been part of my childhood and too old for the new one, I didn't much care for Doctor Who. I started watching it a few years in regardless, and found that this colourful children's programme had a daft charm, but it was only Steven Moffat's annual disproportionately excellent episodes that kept me slogging through the rest. When it was announced that he'd be taking over, handling all the big decisions and writing a lot more of it, I decided it was probably okay to become a fan.
When I started travelling long-term, those weekly illegal TV rips over dodgy hostel Wi-Fi were a bizarrely comforting reminder of home that kept me company on ludicrously noisy night buses across Vietnam, needlessly elaborate visa runs across Borneo and unconventional Christmases in Taiwan. Since I finally settled down, it hasn't had that same role to play, and without bespoke exotic context it's gone back to being that daft programme I'm too old to be watching again. But for a while there, it was great. Even when it was rubbish.
Here's what I reckon about The Subjective Best Era of Doctor Who. Matt Smith was the actor who happened to be in it at the time, plus friends. Thanks for the company.
Companion key:
Amy
Amy & Rory
Craig
Clara
Other
40. The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe (Christmas special 2011)
39. Cold War (7x08)
The Ice Warriors are one of the less interesting classic villains to bring back, but I guess they do convert particularly well to plastic toys. Mark Gatiss is lumped with episode three of the new era once again, but the standards are lower this time around, so it's just boring and forgettable rather than an annoying interruption.
37. Dinosaurs on a Spaceship (7x02)
There was little chance the episode would be as good as the title, but it's for kids, innit? Kids love dinosaurs, sexual harrassment and the Doctor murdering people. I quite like what's going on with the Ponds, but we probably should have skipped this whole drawn-out epilogue and moved on to Clara already, we can worry about her overstaying later.
36. The Rings of Akhaten (7x07)
38. Nightmare in Silver (7x12)
Even Neil Gaiman couldn't save series seven. This probably looked a lot better on the page, without the insufferable kids or Matt Smith's 'evil' acting, and even better in the first draft when Clara and the kids came from Victorian times. The steampunk prospects that invites means I'm going to bang on again about how much more interesting this all could have been if the BBC hadn't insisted on playing things pathetically safe.
37. Dinosaurs on a Spaceship (7x02)
The stupid singing leaf one. I appreciate its attempt to sell us a strange new world and new civilisation, which is surprisingly rare, at least these days, but unfortunately it does so through the medium of tangible greenscreen, annoying singing and embarrassing platitudes.
35. Closing Time (6x12)
Moffat's (admittedly semi-improvised to non-existent) master plan for the Eleventh Doctor was only 1/2–2/3 complete, so this busy stop along the route works better on a binge watch than as a series finale you've set unrealistic expectations for. It provides a couple of answers that were never going to be remarkable anyway, exchanged for one confounding question. I was still on board for the turbulent ride.
16. The God Complex (6x11)
Like my extremely polarised views on some of the superficially similar Christmas specials, there might not be that much to distinguish the two annual Craig Owens episodes (in what would turn out to be a mercifully short-lived tradition) for the casual viewer or fans averse to James Corden. But as someone who really enjoyed the first episode, this follow-up is absolute pants. Don't ever try to recapture lightning, kids.
Series seven's simplified, stand-alone 'blockbuster' format was an excessive concession for what some idiots felt had been an over-complicated preceding year, with the result that most episodes feel like lightweight filler between the filler as we progress through the levels of a Hollywood-themed platform game. Farscape's Ben Browder's in this one, that's all I got out of it.
33. Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS (7x10)
34. A Town Called Mercy (7x03)
Series seven's simplified, stand-alone 'blockbuster' format was an excessive concession for what some idiots felt had been an over-complicated preceding year, with the result that most episodes feel like lightweight filler between the filler as we progress through the levels of a Hollywood-themed platform game. Farscape's Ben Browder's in this one, that's all I got out of it.33. Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS (7x10)
I wasn't foolish enough to get my hopes up for this long-awaited inverted voyage, especially by this point in the run, but it was still more of a letdown than I was expecting. How do you make an episode that shows how the TARDIS works so boring, forgettable and downright unpleasant? There's some nice imagery, but the Star Trek: Voyager ending leaves things on a sour note.
32. Victory of the Daleks (5x03)
As much as I love Mark Gatiss, his annual episodes were reliably mediocre, and it doesn't help that he kept getting the difficult third episode slot that muddied the momentum of the new Doctor. This one's most infamous for introducing the unpopular new Dalek design that was quietly hushed up afterwards, but the worst part for me is probably when they defuse a bomb using the power of love.
31. The Power of Three (7x04)
Six years in and they hadn't done pirates yet, give them a break. An understandably kid-friendly outing in an otherwise dark run, this is hurt by its position as the first unimpressive episode after what might be the longest high-quality stretch they've ever managed. But even in isolation, it's just another ridiculously contrived historical monster story without the sarcasm that let 'Vampires in Venice' get away with it.
A second nail in the coffin that doesn't bode well for the lesser second half of Smith's run, I still prefer its tonally weird, unpolished improv over the risk-averse tedium of the following year. The Doctor and River was never TV's most convincing love story, but it's more satisfying if you imagine that quite a lot of time and a lot of dates have happened in the unspecified interval from his perspective. Those 200 off-screen years didn't all have to happen in one go.
26. The Crimson Horror (7x11)
Gatiss' Victorian episodes are his best ones, and this macabre mystery would feel less disposable if the BBC hadn't nixed the Victorian Clara. Imagine. Twats. The black sheep in any other run, it's one of the more entertaining entries in this largely mediocre final year.
24. A Good Man Goes to War (6x07)
One of the things I liked about Doctor Who in the first place is that it didn't take itself too seriously, so I'm not fond of this (fortunately brief) foray into star-warsy space action. This mid-series finale relies so heavily on the mysteries that it doesn't offer much on a rewatch, I was mainly shocked at how ruthlessly it treats everyone for the sake of connecting dots. New recurring characters are introduced, but they're no River Song or Captain Jack. Standards are slipping.
One of the things I like about the Moffat years, that it shares with the classic Tom Baker years, is how relatively scarce the Daleks are. After a couple of years off, this wasn't just an acceptable return, it was welcome. There's not a lot to it beyond the surprise character debut, but that's really well done, an effective demo for the more powerful McGann and Capaldi surprises the following year.
22. The Vampires of Venice (5x06)
It was the right time for another soft reboot, and this daft-but-fun techno-caper is a fresh of breath air that pairs nicely with the Christmas special, but 'Eleventh Hour' it is not. It's more of a retro throwback to the humdrum premieres of the Russell T. Davies years, which probably wasn't a coincidence since the next few episodes continue to follow that tried-and-tested formula. Compared to the experimental Amy Pond years, I find this lack of ambition disturbing.
19. Flesh and Stone / The Time of Angels (5x04-05)
18. The Rebel Flesh / The Almost People (6x05-06)
This isn't the most memorable story of the run, but it's an effective demonstration of how stretching any old episode to two parts generally improves it. Shame there wouldn't be any more of those for four years. It's my favourite of Smith's non-finale two-parters, mainly for introducing a new concept rather than tweaking an old one, and I can't help but love a completely arbitrary castle setting where boring grey rooms would have done.
17. The Wedding of River Song (6x13)
31. The Power of Three (7x04)
This could have been a lovely 'Lodger'-style staycation bringing the Ponds' story to a gentle close, if only it had come sooner and not been another casualty of the 'movie poster' year. The best bits are where nothing's happening, shame that kept getting interrupted and has such a poor ending.
30. The Curse of the Black Spot (6x03)
Six years in and they hadn't done pirates yet, give them a break. An understandably kid-friendly outing in an otherwise dark run, this is hurt by its position as the first unimpressive episode after what might be the longest high-quality stretch they've ever managed. But even in isolation, it's just another ridiculously contrived historical monster story without the sarcasm that let 'Vampires in Venice' get away with it.
29. Night Terrors (6x09)
This isn't one of Gatiss' worse episodes, but its haunted council flat and creepy dolls are so generic and its child acting so unconvincing that it winds up being the most forgettable entry in all of Doctor Who. Context hurts it even more, as a late shuffling of the season makes the unspoken parallels and flippancy distractingly weird.
One of the strangest episodes, and not in a good way, this is much more a prelude to the specials than a finale or worthwhile episode in its own right. It's nice to get back to what used to be the main story arc, even if it ends up being a red herring cul-de-sac, but the resolution to the latest mini-arc we were distracted by in its place is the most disappointing and nonsensical yet. They'd have another go at River Song's closure in a few years and finally get it right.
27. Let's Kill Hitler (6x08)
28. The Name of the Doctor (7x13)
26. The Crimson Horror (7x11)Gatiss' Victorian episodes are his best ones, and this macabre mystery would feel less disposable if the BBC hadn't nixed the Victorian Clara. Imagine. Twats. The black sheep in any other run, it's one of the more entertaining entries in this largely mediocre final year.
25. The Hungry Earth / Cold Blood (5x08-09)
We'd already had the compulsory 'classic villain' two-parter this year with the Weeping Angels, but apparently that didn't count, so series five takes a slightly dull and ultimately pointless Silurian detour. The best part's the arc-building ending, and that could have been slapped on to anything.
24. A Good Man Goes to War (6x07)
One of the things I liked about Doctor Who in the first place is that it didn't take itself too seriously, so I'm not fond of this (fortunately brief) foray into star-warsy space action. This mid-series finale relies so heavily on the mysteries that it doesn't offer much on a rewatch, I was mainly shocked at how ruthlessly it treats everyone for the sake of connecting dots. New recurring characters are introduced, but they're no River Song or Captain Jack. Standards are slipping.
23. Asylum of the Daleks (7x01)
One of the things I like about the Moffat years, that it shares with the classic Tom Baker years, is how relatively scarce the Daleks are. After a couple of years off, this wasn't just an acceptable return, it was welcome. There's not a lot to it beyond the surprise character debut, but that's really well done, an effective demo for the more powerful McGann and Capaldi surprises the following year.
If you don't share this series' sense of humour, you're not going to get much out of this convoluted excuse to have space vampires, who aren't real vampires but coincidentally share nearly all of their distinctive characteristics, tediously justified through technobabble that's funny in itself. It helps a lot that it also features my favourite TARDIS team in their first outing together, but that excuse isn't going to be enough later.
21. The Bells of Saint John (7x06)
20. Hide (7x09)
With so many genres in its palette, series seven should have something for everyone, and this vintage haunted house mystery set against an epic scope of time-shunting is presumably mine. The seventies setting sets it up to be a fantastic tribute to the Tom Baker gothic horrors, Nigel Kneale and the Ghost Stories for Christmas, but it's held back by the general series seven malaise. Shame.
The inevitable and inevitably disappointing return of Moffat's own Weeping Angels isn't as bad as it could have been, thanks only to an atmospheric setting, but they'd still be better off it it hadn't existed. The simultaneous return of River Song is a lot less intriguing after you've seen her loads and her various mysteries have been solved, but maybe you can find a new, smugly knowing level of enjoyment there?
18. The Rebel Flesh / The Almost People (6x05-06)
This isn't the most memorable story of the run, but it's an effective demonstration of how stretching any old episode to two parts generally improves it. Shame there wouldn't be any more of those for four years. It's my favourite of Smith's non-finale two-parters, mainly for introducing a new concept rather than tweaking an old one, and I can't help but love a completely arbitrary castle setting where boring grey rooms would have done.17. The Wedding of River Song (6x13)
16. The God Complex (6x11)
Toby Whithouse writes some nonsense justification to excuse mashing up a bunch of nightmare tropes and cameos, but I was satisfied enough with the result that I didn't bother paying attention to that. I also really like the moving-on ending that should have been final, and don't hold it against this episode that subsequent ones didn't commit.
After the tight and polished anniversary, it's back to underachieving finales for a catchphrase retirement party that was probably incomprehensible for casual viewers and needs citations even if you've been paying attention. I still find it a fitting farewell, but its epic scope doesn't really come across condensed into an hour. Three series and a handful of specials is the precisely correct amount of time for any Doctor – just one more would have helped.
I may never get over the missed opportunity of keeping the Victorian Clara rather than replacing her with yet another present-day companion, but we can enjoy it while it briefly lasted. Moffat taps into the Christmas magic again with a staircase to the clouds and brings back my favourite classic villain in inevitably diluted form. It's got another of those really rubbish endings, but I can overlook that, since this is all about beginnings.
13. The Beast Below (5x02)
Mainly notable for being Moffat's first ever unremarkable, bogstandard script, this is still a perfectly enjoyable outing that keeps the new momentum going before it tripped up with the next one. Adults can enjoy the comically laboured satire (complete with over-optimistic Scottish referendum gag) while kids have the scary-faced robot things and an ecological moral.
The best episode of the odd limbo that's the back half of series six, Tom MacRea's stand-alone tale of doppelgangers and cheating fate could have come anywhen, but I like to think its thematic parallels to the ongoing arc are as intentional as the back-referencing title. You could also say it's pushing the companions to their subsequent departure by putting them through the emotional wringer, but really, when doesn't that happen?
The only episode of the entire seventh series that I properly enjoyed, then and now, a couple of colossal logical absurdities aren't enough to put me off this delightful exploration of determinism via the medium of a pulp walkthrough. The in-laws had outstayed their welcome, but this was a worthy send-off so we could move on to something new. Shame how that turned out.
10. The Big Bang (5x13)
9. Amy's Choice (5x07)
Not renowned for his psychic dilemmas, Men Behaving Badly's Simon Nye packs a ton of great one-off ideas into his one-off episode, which follows two completely separate yet inextricably linked survival stories but is still primarily concerned with the character arcs. It ought to be a proper classic, but it's either a draft away from really clicking or could never have been all that coherent anyway.
I was expecting some changes of heart when revisiting series six's serialised entries, but I thought I had the one-off stories sussed. Turns out I'd been underrating this overrated episode, which really is quite special and only as game-changing as you choose it to be. It's the position that does it – later in the year, or last year, I would have appreciated it more, but at the time I was hooked on the mysteries and didn't want detours.
7. The Lodger (5x11)
6. The Pandorica Opens (5x12)
5. Vincent and the Doctor (5x10)
Doing A Christmas Carol isn't the most original idea in the world, but considering the time-travel format's begging for it, Steven "Jekyll"/"Sherlock"/"Dracula" Moffat naturally couldn't resist. It doesn't usurp the definitive Muppet version, but this is a really special one that touches me in ways I didn't think possible as a grown man. A fittingly magical epilogue to the series' best year and the best of the Christmas specials by a long way.
I'm not the biggest fan of lore or continuity masturbation, so my favourite thing about this over-the-top celebration was that Moffat was back to writing confrontationally complicated stories again. Picking it apart is hardly in the spirit, but Christopher Eccleston's conspicuous absence will never fail to be annoying. Good on John Hurt for stepping up and delivering.
2. The Impossible Astronaut / Day of the Moon (6x01-02)
1. The Eleventh Hour (5x01)
At a time when most fans seemed overly concerned with the credibility of the new actor's hair, I was just looking forward to what Steven Moffat was going to do with the series, and this mission statement for the new order didn't disappoint one bit. I would have been a bit less optimistic if I'd known it had already peaked, but rollercoasters are more fun when they're going downhill anyway, right?
15. The Time of the Doctor (Christmas special 2013)
14. The Snowmen (Christmas special 2012)
13. The Beast Below (5x02)
Mainly notable for being Moffat's first ever unremarkable, bogstandard script, this is still a perfectly enjoyable outing that keeps the new momentum going before it tripped up with the next one. Adults can enjoy the comically laboured satire (complete with over-optimistic Scottish referendum gag) while kids have the scary-faced robot things and an ecological moral.
12. The Girl Who Waited (6x10)
11. The Angels Take Manhattan (7x05)
The only episode of the entire seventh series that I properly enjoyed, then and now, a couple of colossal logical absurdities aren't enough to put me off this delightful exploration of determinism via the medium of a pulp walkthrough. The in-laws had outstayed their welcome, but this was a worthy send-off so we could move on to something new. Shame how that turned out.
Different enough from part one to be judged on its own, this full-circle resolution patches up a year's worthy of background story with some convoluted DIY to force a mega happy ending. It's a bit too convenient, and the effect-and-cause time paradoxes a bit too flippant, but that's all part of this era's escapist fairy-tale bullshit charm. Watch the Capaldi years if you want consequences.
Not renowned for his psychic dilemmas, Men Behaving Badly's Simon Nye packs a ton of great one-off ideas into his one-off episode, which follows two completely separate yet inextricably linked survival stories but is still primarily concerned with the character arcs. It ought to be a proper classic, but it's either a draft away from really clicking or could never have been all that coherent anyway.
8. The Doctor's Wife (6x04)
I was expecting some changes of heart when revisiting series six's serialised entries, but I thought I had the one-off stories sussed. Turns out I'd been underrating this overrated episode, which really is quite special and only as game-changing as you choose it to be. It's the position that does it – later in the year, or last year, I would have appreciated it more, but at the time I was hooked on the mysteries and didn't want detours.
I'd probably have an issue with this episode if I'd ever seen the unpopularly popular James Corden in anything else, but since I've kept myself clean, I can appreciate its refreshing change of pace unsullied. When you've been all over time and space, sometimes you just want to relax with ordinary people and their ordinary problems, like a spaceship upstairs that keeps eating people.
6. The Pandorica Opens (5x12)
In previous years, Doctor Who's EPIC!!1 finales had been big on spectacle but small on brains, seemingly designed to make older fans feel even more insecure about their guilty pleasure. When it was Moffat's go, he gave us a literal puzzle box unlocking a cliffhanger that's so insanely over-the-top in peril, it completely takes the piss. If I'd seen it as a kid, I would have been blown away. As an adult, I laughed my head off. "To be continued" indeed!
Richard Curtis' sole Doctor Who outing is rightly praised, but feels wasted on the high-bar series five when series seven really could have used the hand. There aren't many episodes you could enjoy without knowing about or even particularly liking this show, but this tender weepie is one of them. Once you're hooked, watch it again in the proper sequence to pick up on the splashes of continuity you missed, and shed again.
4. A Christmas Carol (Christmas special 2010)
3. The Day of the Doctor (50th anniversary special)
I'm not the biggest fan of lore or continuity masturbation, so my favourite thing about this over-the-top celebration was that Moffat was back to writing confrontationally complicated stories again. Picking it apart is hardly in the spirit, but Christopher Eccleston's conspicuous absence will never fail to be annoying. Good on John Hurt for stepping up and delivering.
I don't know if there's a better example of pay-off failing to live up to set-up than Doctor Who series six. I was blown away by this premiere at the time, convinced the series was going from strength to strength and loving its evolution into a wanky mysteries-based show to scratch my Lost itch. A shame that optimism would immediately collapse and never really return, but they made an overgrown child very happy for a couple of weeks.
1. The Eleventh Hour (5x01)
At a time when most fans seemed overly concerned with the credibility of the new actor's hair, I was just looking forward to what Steven Moffat was going to do with the series, and this mission statement for the new order didn't disappoint one bit. I would have been a bit less optimistic if I'd known it had already peaked, but rollercoasters are more fun when they're going downhill anyway, right?
It's probably the only episode of the whole Smith run that I'd put up there with Moffat's earlier hits and his subsequent 'Heaven Sent' as all-time greatest Who, but its focus on leisurely introductions rather than a tight mystery means it still falls short of the podium. It's strange to realise that my favourite overall era doesn't actually contain that many of my favourite individual episodes, but sometimes travelling's more about the people than the places.
Worthless stats!
#1. Series 5: 27.45 points average
#2. Specials: 25.80
#3. Series 6: 21.18
#4. Series 7: 12.00
Worthless stats!
#1. Series 5: 27.45 points average
#2. Specials: 25.80
#3. Series 6: 21.18
#4. Series 7: 12.00
