Saturday, April 30, 2016

Substantialreads: Space Chicks

It's not like I haven't read sci-fi by women before. This isn't an apology or amends, it's just me clutching at a theme for the month that doesn't involve cracking open a dreary tetraology.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Practical and less practical solutions for the Philippines power crisis


Image/joke: Pappy's


It's summertime in the Philippines, when temperatures take a sadistic spike from what you assumed was already summer and the electricity company takes away your fans, air conditioning and refrigerator power when you need them most. As well as energy for all those other appliances and devices you've foolishly allowed to become integral to your professional and personal life, rather than treating as luxuries that can be arbitrarily recalled.

This is already my third straight year of dealing with summer power out(r)ages, and while I'm no less bitter or more understanding about having my rightfully paid-for power taken away for several hours every day at random times for months on end (sort it out, monopoly electricity provider - you have all of our money), I've got better at handling the annual crisis and keeping it from completely destroying my career, comfort and sanity.

And it turns out I was being unfair to the authorities, who have finally taken an active stance towards resolving the crisis now that it's started to affect the country's main international gateway and become a source of embarrassment in front of other nations, rather than something that just ruins the lives of locals. Who gives a shit about the proles?

I just had to share this eye-bulging article from the Philippine Star, which tells you everything you need to know about how this crisis (and crises generally) is being handled. I swear the following excerpts have been copy-pasted verbatim, it's not a satire site, and this was posted a full week after April 1st. You'll naturally want to check the link to confirm its authenticity. Ready? Here goes:

"With the cause of a five-hour blackout still unknown, an official of the Ninoy Aquino International Airport Terminal 3 has urged NAIA-3 authorities to consult a feng shui expert or geomancer to take away the “bad luck” that officials blamed for the problems that have hampered operations in the facility."

"The official said that the feng shui expert could identify what could be wrong with the building’s design and even exorcise the terminal of “evil spirits” with rituals to appease these spirits."

Saturday, April 2, 2016

The further adventures of self-indulgence: All my British homes



We've finally secured a reasonably good internet connection, so before I'm inevitably thrown back to the dial-up ages I've been making the most of those advanced, high-bandwidth services that you lucky people in the developed world take for granted, like YouTube videos above 144p, non-HTML Gmail and Google Street View, which enables less fortunate people to imagine they're wandering the real streets of wealthier countries in 2009.

I've thought for a while that when I finally make it back to the UK and visit the family, I might also take a tour of my childhood homes and haunts in search of overwhelming primal nostalgia or crushing existential despair about the transience of our brief lives. Any emotion would be fine really.

But since we just built a house, and that rules out travel for this year at least, I settled for a synthetic virtual substitute and spent an hour or so clicking along familiar routes to schools, playgrounds and newsagents where the latest issue of Dinosaurs! magazine with another free bit of glow-in-the-dark Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton isn't waiting for me any more. I didn't feel much of anything.

If you're ever in South Cheshire, Lancaster or Edinburgh and you feel like paying tribute to my life, here's where to light those candles.