Sunday, May 26, 2013

Batu wouldn't Kek Lok Si when I'm Penangry

My first port of call in Malaysia back in 2011, the metropolitan island Penang was our last stop this time around before we work our way up through Thailand - the reverse of my original journey down the peninsula back when my travels were actually linear.

It was good to be back in civilisation and Wi-Fi zones after struggling to get work done in the peaceful paradise of the Perhentian Islands where I really shouldn't have been worrying about stuff like that and should have just written horrible stories or something instead. This visit also gave me the chance to see some of Penang's major sights that I somehow didn't get around to the first time, being too distracted by old buildings and loose monkeys.

We didn't hang out with any monkeys this time around. She doesn't really like them. This relationship is doomed.

Batu Feringgi,

Jackie wanted to come here because it's the most popular beach in Penang. I wanted to come here because the name sounds a bit like 'Ferengi.' We all find our reasons to travel

I think that's Muka Head and Monkey Beach over there. But we'd had enough nature after spending five days in a secluded resort where we had to trek for an hour through the jungle any time we wanted cookies

I have a feeling there'll be one summer where I get bored, restless and mental, and tick all of these high-adrenaline activities so I can get on with my life. Look forward to that in 2021 or so - until then, you're going to have to put up with crumbling temples and the occasional monkey

The occasional monkey

Kek Lok Si
(Temple of Supreme Bliss)

This is supposedly the largest Buddhist temple 'in Asia,' which makes it sound like the biggest Buddhist temple in the world isn't in Asia. That can't be right, surely? So why don't they just say 'the world?' It's obviously bullshit like all the other supposedly biggest things I've seen, so you might as well lie big

It's been too long. These guys always put me in a good mood

The oversized temple buildings serve to make this puny pagoda look even more pathetic

This door doesn't look so much like it belongs in a temple as adorning the secret rainforest hideaway of a fugitive Nazi war criminal mastermind

This slanted lift up to the statue wasn't quite as impressive as the epic cable car ride to the Hong Kong Buddha

George Town is one of those very rare South East Asian cities that's actually nice to be in. Why do I never stay in the pleasant places for long?
Because I owe you anxiety blogs, that's why

Hey look, it's Kuan Yin, Goddess of Mercy from off of the Goddess of Mercy Temple down in George Town that Dave took a nice photo of which dickheads pretended was theirs. You'd better pray to Kuan Yin for mercy, dickheads

For the most part this isn't even a temple, just a multi-storey mall selling mostly inappropriate items interspersed with the odd pavilion. It makes even Doi Suthep look like a respectful sanctuary

Though one can never have too many of these.

(Why did they put a picture of him in the top-right corner? You're not likely to not notice him in there, even from across the store. Why is that the detail I'm hanging on when there are so many other questions to ask?)

Admittedly, I found a good deal on boxers on the way out, so joined in with the mass blasphemy. How have you disgraced a temple today?

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