Theologians have speculated on the location of the Biblical Garden of Eden for centuries, placing it everywhere from Lebanon to Missouri.
But those holy fools and insane Mormons were way off - I found Eden on the slopes of Mount Talomo, about 50 kilometres from Davao City. It wasn't even that difficult, it was well signposted and it's in all the tourism literature.
Admittedly, it has changed a bit in the last 6,000 years. I don't remember a zip-line in Genesis, but maybe it's mentioned in one of the apocryphal gospels.
Eden Nature Park,
I've come to accept that it always rains in the Philippines, even outside of typhoon season.
At least this was a chance to get away from the jeepney stench and enjoy some rare fresh air
And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field;
and he put them in cages to be gawped at by tourists (Gen 2:20)
This peacock was trying its best to impress me, but I was more tempted by the buffet
Adam and Eve probably got up to these sorts of stupid shenanigans all the time