Tuesday 12 April 2011

The Curse of Kellie's Castle



I was pretty excited to find a genuine Scottish castle out here in Peninsular Malaysia. That's genuine Scottish insomuch as it's built in Indian design by Indian labourers, many of whom mysteriously DIED during its construction.

Could this be sensibly attributed to the outbreak of Spanish flu that spread from Europe to Asia after the First World War? Or could it be that Kellie's Castle... is CURSED? You know, the same way Egyptian tombs and Oliver aren't. This sounds like a job for an experienced paranormal investigator...



Okay, maybe this would look spookier without the blazing Malaysian sunshine


When I lived in Scotland, one of my favourite pastimes was visiting dilapidated old castles looking for ghosts with my friends. Or rather, enjoying spending a night in an amazing location with my friends, while satisfyingly debunking the claims of supposed 'paranormal activity' made by less critical 'investigators' of the place (as Richard Dawkins puts it: we should be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brain falls out).

Here we are investigating Borthwick Castle near Edinburgh (I'll save you the suspense: nothing happens).




Kellie's Castle obviously isn't haunted either (grow up), but that doesn't make it any less fascinating to visit. A strange place intended to be a family home and a hotspot for society gatherings, Kellie's Castle was never completed due to death and bankruptcy, and not a lot's known about it beyond speculation. Nobody lives here but the birds and the geckos.


Kellie's Castle,
Batu Gajah



It looks decidely less sinister with the title card, and more like some rubbish 90s kid's gameshow hosted by Lorraine Kelly or something



Horse stable, where people have claimed to smell ghostly incense.
You're outside: there are going to be smells



The unfinished Kellas House (back) looks more like a film set



Kellie's Courtyard. Ignore the tropical plants, Madras architecture and sunshine, and this could be any other Scottish castle



Are you crazy? DON'T GO INSIDE!!!



It turns out inside is still practically outside (dining hall)



Family altar, which collapsed after construction.
Clearly some malevolent spirit aggravated by the Catholic imagery. Clearly



Pitch-black wine cellar (flash needed to see where the heck I was going)



Upstairs corridor, where people claim to have seen a hooded...
what the hell?



Secret stairs behind the guest room.
William Kellie Smith built the place full of these. What was he up to?



Kellie's son Anthony's room, with strange spectral ectoplasm (a.k.a. bird shit)



View from Kellie's daughter Helen's room. Her 'ghost' has been spotted by liars and the mentally ill, blah blah. Despite the fact she never actually lived here



View from master bedroom over Kellie's Unkempt Garden



What's in the secret compartment...?



Disappointment is a theme



What's down these secret stairs...?



Oh. So that's where that goes



In more pareidolia scepticism, this tree supposedly looks exactly like a bear.
I think it looks exactly like a tree


Next stop: Cameron Highlands